My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Instant Pride

[announcer voice] Uh-oh! Does this ever happen to you?

Significant other: "Honey, don't forget to grab the Independence Day cake for the party tonight!"


You: "Independy whatnow?"

Well, don't you worry. You'll never overlook another patriotic holiday again! Introducing a revolutionary new technology in dessert Americana:


Plastic Flag!™

Just throw Plastic Flag™ on any pre-existing cake for an instant patriotic upgrade!


Bachelor party tonight? Not anymore! Just look at the difference Plastic Flag™ makes:


Samuel Adams says, "Plastic Flag™ is always a good decision."

Or get your buns in gear by patrioticsizing that cheeseburger cake!



Well done!

Has your creativity gone fishin'? No problem!


Your guests will fall for Plastic Flag™ hook, line, and sinker.



Plus, order now and we'll throw in a free special gift sure to delight kids of all ages:


Patriotic Pecans™!



That's right: Order within the next ten minutes and you'll receive our patented Patriotic Pecans™ cake toppers, absolutely free! (Just pay our exorbitantly priced shipping and handling fees.)

Throw a few dozen Patriotic Pecans ™ to one side of Plastic Flag™ for a super-blast of extra pecan pride! Your guests will go nuts when they see the detail you've put into this delicious national treasure.

Order now!



Warning, April Z., Lisa P., Rose B., Jenn P., and Joan L.: Plastic Flag™ may be considered a choking hazard and should not be placed on food. Plastic Flag™ may contain traces of nuts, soy, or botulinal neurotoxins. "Patrioticsizing" is not a real word and should not be used as such. Plastic Flag™ hates puppies. Do not taunt Plastic Flag™.


« National Canada Day | Main | Tour Roundup: San Diego »

Reader Comments (79)

I was reading, I was hoping you were going to, and you did. Do not taunt Plastic Flag. You rock! Thank you. And thank the dear, sweet, Lord that they are not selling the pecan cake at my grocery store or I would have to buy one and keep it forever on a shelf in my basement because that is just too funny!

July 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

This was one of your best updates! I loved the infomercial theme and the Happy Fun Ball reference.

Also, Plastic Flag on ANYTHING.

-Tracy S

July 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTracy

Seriously, this post needs to go into the classics archive immediately. Good stuff, Jen. Absolutely hysterical!

July 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkjl

I totally did the same thing as Tiffany--kudos to the wrong person! Nice job, Number 1!!!

July 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkjl

"Patrioticize" it totally legit IMHO

Plasticizing a cake, however, should be outlawed.


Love that tune so much better than the barroom anthem we've got now.

See. "Anacreon in Heaven" that's the original song the tune was swiped from. But then, you're either a trained singer or totally bombed to be able to sing the full range.

July 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

I stared at the pecans for a long time. What on earth...?

July 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Plastic Flag could have repaired the purse Dad cake! Does it come with an anti-cupcake cake (ptui!) cloaking shield?

July 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKimHasCancer

This makes me so happy.

July 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertogetherforgood

You have me laughing out loud - again!

July 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCookieMonster

Yay, Happy Fun Ball with its molten core! One of my all-time favorites. ;)

July 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Love the "Happy Fun Ball" reference. This is one of the best of your blogs, and that's saying a lot!

July 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLesley

I started laughing out loud when I started reading about Patriotic Pecans(tm). My fiance gave me a funny look, but all I had to do was say "Cake Wrecks" and he understood. Thanks for the giggle!

July 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

ugh. brings back horrid memories of all of my birthdays as a kid. Kind of sucks being born on the 4th of July. Everyone wants to get you a "flag cake" because "OMG SHE'LL LOVE IT!" thinking no one in your entire 47 years would have thought of that before.

lol sorry. I don't hate my birthday because I'm getting older, it just isn't fun being born on a national holiday. (except for the day off from work that is!)


July 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

fine print said really quickly:

Plastic Flag(tm) is only orderable in Canadian provinces and some cities in California. Plastic Flag(tm) is not to be held responsible for damage caused to the cake maker or cake eater by either Plastic Flag(tm) product or reaction of guests from usage of Plastic Flag(tm) product. No CODs. No LOLs. No WTFs. ...okay, a few of the latter. Plastic Flag (tm) should be used with care when making a CCC.

Patriotic Pecans(tm) is a trademark of the same makers of Plastic Flag(tm) and is exclusive to the usage of Plastic Flag(tm) products and are not always edible. Patriotic Pecans(tm) are not to be used with any other confection other than Plastic Flag(tm) pastries. These restrictions include but are not limited to pecan bread, pecan muffins, trek mix, pecan pralines, or pecan beer.

Please do not consume Plastic Flag(tm). No refund without a receipt. No proof of sale nor receipt given on date of sale. May Blog have mercy on your soul amen.

July 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGreen

BWAHAHAHA! PlacticFlag hates Puppies! Now that is just mean!

July 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarolyn G

Wow I want some patriotic pecans. Maybe I could light those instead of fireworks since they are illegal where I am lol. Oh never ever taunt the plastic flag it has ways of showing up in unexpected places and I am sure one can be found on a baby shower cake somewhere..

July 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Okay, I don't know if I have EVER laughed this hard at any entry on this site as I have this particular one. I am not only reminded of the "Happy Fun Ball" commercial on SNL but somehow also the "Ren and Stimpy" LOG! commercial LOL

I am with Tricia L up there and all of the pecans. In my best Jerry Seinfeld voice, I say, "What is the deal with all of the pecans? Did a giant squirrel sneeze them all on to the cake but just to the right and not the left? Is the cake trying to be part divinity?" Ha ha...I slay me.

July 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuzi

This might be one of the funniest posts (commentary-wise) that I've ever read on this site. I want to order my PLASTIC FLAG right now!

July 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Just for a second, I thought maybe the pecans were a metaphor for anti-american sentiment, ravenously encroaching upon our national symbol like so many hungry cockroaches.

Perhaps a little too esoteric for a Wreckerator...


July 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

SO freakin' funny!!!

July 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

Hmm, patriotic cheeseburger cake.... Does it come w/ freedom fries?

July 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love the shell border around the beer mug. It just adds that fancy touch, don't you think? ;)

Thank you for the alert that pecans are the new sprinkles. From now on I'm going to throw (and I do mean THROW) pecans on all my baked goods, just for good measure. Who needs sprinkles anyways?? They're SO out of fashion! lol ;)

July 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly

best. post. ever.


July 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I WANT TO ORDER A PLASTIC FLAG! Do you have any for other countries, say, Philippines? Anyway, that last cake would've looked great if it weren't for the Patriotic Pecans™. But it looks so AWESOME now~

July 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I made a flag cake from an idea from Betty Crocker. The cake looked really great until I frosted it, now, it belongs on yoru site. I made a status about it on FB and my friend mentioned your site. Yep, it truly belongs here, but we'll just leave it in the refrigerator and try to forget about it. Note to self: I truly do not have cake decorating skills. Next year, I will try a plastic flag!

July 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMom O' Nine

I was expecting something totally different when I saw this post title, since it's Gay Pride week where I live!

Also, I'm Canadian so the whole "Independance Day" thing didn't come to mind since July 1 is Canada Day!

July 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNectarine

Plastic flag ate my puppy.

July 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Did anyone else hear Billy Mays in their heads while reading?

June 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

PlasticFlag wanders
from cake to cake to cake
searching for true love.

July 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>