My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Wrecks Without Question

I know bakers get odd requests from time to time. Inside jokes, nicknames, stuff that makes no sense - they see it all. Still, you'd think there comes a point when a baker looks at a scrawled order form and asks herself, "Gee, is it more likely they wanted 'happy BIRTHDAY,' or 'happy BAIRTH?'"

Now, I know what you're thinking.

"Jim," you're thinking, because you've once again forgotten my name and now apparently my gender as well, "Jim, don't be so gosh durn silly." (You're also from the South.) "'Bairth' isn't even a word! So obviously NO baker would EVER...uh..."

[raised eyebrows] You were saying?

Or how about this: you get a cake order for a little girl. She wants a bunch of little chocolate mice on the border, all surrounding one that 'mouse' written there? It kind of looks like 'mouse.' Definitely M-O-U-something. So, do you assume mouse? Or do you go with this?


Now you're thinking that this would never happen to you. "I'd write the order clearly!" you yell to the heavens. (Two words, dude: less coffee.) "Then I'd tape Post-it Notes to the order form showing them exactly where I want the text, so there's no WAY they can wreck it up!! Haha!"

Not bad, not bad. Sounds like a good plan.


What if they take your handy-dandy Post-its, copy them, and then paste them on the cake?

Aha! I see from your stunned expression that thought hadn't struck you yet.

Brace for impact.

That's Wreckerator: 3, Customer: 0.

Well played, Wreckerators. Well played.

Anna H., Helen, & Janice H., you might try asking for a Wreck. I've seen several of those wrecked into being a pretty decent-looking (and correctly spelled!) cake. It's like a wreck to the second power! Totally meta.

« The Far Side of the Wreck | Main | The Amazing Adventures of Spiderman Head »

Reader Comments (63)

Every day I read these posts and think, "How can people be that STUPID????" It's frightening, really. But also incredibly amusing.

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

... and they wonder why Helen grew up with a fear of dentists and Carol Channing.

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

The post-it cake is up there with the Spock Baby Shower cake.

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatjaMouse

I can't stop staring at the "Mouse/Mouth"... thing. It's beautifully horrifying.

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

Even if it was wrong, someone did a great job on that MOUTH!

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenniffer

What Lisa (first poster) said. I laugh at these, but sometimes it gives me serious pause about the future of the human race!

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

The lengths they will go to in order to not get things right...

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGina

Is there no hope? Do we just have to decorate our own cakes?

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFanboy Wife

Awww, poor Helen! Such a scary cake! At least it's smiling...

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCara

Now I know where all those lazy kids who drop out of high school are going!!! Someone is recruiting them to decorate cakes!
"Let me see: you dropped out of school in 8th grade, never learned to spell anything after 4th grade, can't follow directions, and read on a 2nd grade level? Wonderful! You're just what we need! You're hired!"

Actually, that mouth cake is kinda cool. Strange, twisted, and weird. But cool.

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA Paperback Writer

Y'know, you'd think that after a while, you'd run out of gloriously wrecked cakes. But no, your supply is neverending.

I am amazed.

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

There are no words. . .

I think you said once that Wreckerators or at least the stores they work for e-mail you from time to time, and I would loooove to know what they say...

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarambola

I've lived in the South my entire life & never heard anyone say 'gosh durn'. Gotdangit, yes. Dagnabbit, even, but 'gosh durn' That must be TV Southern.

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlisa_n

Bairth? BAIRTH?? What planet are wreckerators from?

Seriously, I think that mouth is one nicely executed cake. *sigh* Maybe I shouldn't use the word 'executed'.

Post-its. uh. Yeah. Well, there goes that idea to get the next cake right, not wrecked.

Thank you for adding mirth to my day!!


July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I really think we need more unemployed English PhDs to take up baking. God knows there's enough of them -- yours truly included.

The mouth/mouse was actually very well done! beautiful handwriting too, and spelled correctly. but what was going through the wreckerators mind? wouldn't it make sense for little baby mice to be going around a big (mommy) mouse? that mouth took a lot of time and skill. what was her logic in mice around a mouth? as if it's going to eat them!


and scanning the post it notes instead of writing on the cake...*faceslap*

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

Maybe the Happy Bairth actually was supposed to be Happy Birth? Maybe the recipient is a new mom?

I agree, the mouth/mouse cake is a great wreck... but my vote for todays best/worst? is the post it note cake. That is awesome.

Wreckorators reach new levels of stupidity each day...

Keep them coming!!

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSandy C/Boynton Beach

Maybe Anna had a baby or IS a baby. "Happy Birth"? which is still misspelled. and still, well, stupid.

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

The first cake is ugly beyond belief. Not only is it misspelled, the pink doesn't match between the lettering and the flowers. It's lopsided (I'm very curious what it looked like when cut into- is the wonky-ness frosting or cake induced?) and it looks like the wreckerator decided that "Anna" wasn't palindromey enough and had to make it "AnnA" Sigh

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKate

These make me scared for all of my future professional cakes.

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

Is it wrong to look at some of these cakes and think "Darwin Awards candidates"? Please, please tell me these people are too dumb to breed...

Anna's cake decorations are horrible, as is the lettering. At least the mouse/mouth cake is beautifully done. Though, I must agree with Tricia L's assessment that this would inspire fear of dentists.

And it truly is a good question whether Mouth or Post-it is the bigger wreck. Or bigger laugh! I think both need to go to the CW hall of infamy!!

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

They copied post-it notes... on the cake... That is a whole new brand of stupid right there, wow.

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDuessa

@Tricia L HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Now all I can hear is Carol Channing narrating this entire blogpost. In fact... Cake Wrecks... I think it's time you had a celebrity endorser. I nominate Carol Channing. Or Joan Rivers.

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRecoveringActor

Hmmm, That's interesting... I've lived in the south my entire life too and I've heard "gosh durn" often enough to remember thinking as a kid what a 'durn' was. Did they mean darn? In fact, my baby sitter says "gosh durn it!" It amuses me to no end. She also says warsh instead of wash... and she's lived here all her life too. At least I've travelled some, she's been within the same 100 miles her whole life and she's all the Southern Spitfire you can imagine complete with the white hair and the warbly voice.

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

these wreckerators are getting more devious by the day!

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterT

Were there mice in Rocky Horror? Cause that's what the mouth reminds me of.

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKeeley


it looks to me like that giant mouth is ready to enjoy eating some nice stringy turds.


July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

I just hope the mice don't jump into her mouth.

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterQ Smith

Okay. Were you channeling Bones McCoy, but making him Southern for euphemistic reasons?

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBekah

Happy Bairth sounds to me like someone with a Scottish accent ordered the cake and the decorators spelled it phonetically. Still...double checking would be not amiss here.

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGuinevere 2005

I just ordered some flowers over the phone. Now I'm afraid the card will include my "Ummm" and "Something like that" at the end.

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterColene

You know what floors me is why don't these wreckerators CALL THE CUSTOMER to confirm their order if they are confused in the least?!?!?!

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMomofthesouth

At least the wreckorator scanned the image on to the cake and didn't just put the post-its right on the cake. :)


July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBryna

Maybe the person who ordered the first cake had a heavy Scottish brogue. "Here's a cake tae celebrate th' bairth ay yer wee bairn, AnnA!"

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

Isn't there some nagging voice in the back of their heads that says maybe, just maybe, they should call back and double check?

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

You know, how that last wreckorator got all those lovely wrinkles in on the post-it note cake.... and the fact that the frosting looks like it's sweating..... it just adds to the general aura of disaster here.

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA Paperback Writer

that disembodied mouth is really creepy

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I hope Anna enjoyed her "BARTH"day cake! That was too funny.

- David" rel="nofollow">Aloe Vera 101" rel="nofollow">Holistic Health Info.

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter"Guppy" Honaker

Am I the only one who thinks those mice look like spermatazoa? o_O"

-French Bean

I think our biggest problem here is the assumption that the wreckerators speak English to start with. I'm just sayin'.

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The last one has ruined me. I mean, what else can the ordering public do? The notes were clearly written, directions looks understandable...
I'm just going to have to learn how to decorate cakes...

PS: Jen i was just do you feel about ice cream cakes?

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

At least I don't see any *chocolate sprinkles* on the mouse/mouth cake...

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLori

Mouse...mouth...see I can see where they might get it mixed up. lol

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

This is hilarious. God, people are idiots.

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristin

I can't read what is written on the post-its!!! Aaaarrrggghhhh!Can someone help?

How dumb are people

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow at the mouth cake. At least they have some talent. Probably would've made a great mouse.

lisa_n: I have also lived in the South my entire life and I have heard 'gosh durn' plenty of times.

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCara

on that second cake, are those mice or sperms?

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

@ Thank God I'm an Aetheist:

I think the first post-it says: "Happy 50th ______." (someone's name I can't quite make out)

The second one says: "You may now assume the position."

Thanks for the stitch-in-the-side inducing post today, Jen! :D

WV: halshern - "Halshern I know what them there instrukshuns say? I ain't a jeenyus or nuthin!"

July 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

was anyone else amused to see "Cake Wrecks" referenced on the order sheet for the 30 Rock cake on Ace of Cakes last night? am i the only one who caught it?

July 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertanya

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