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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jul282010

Name That Wreck!

I grew up with friends named Shannyn, Jesica, Jaison, and Aiyrunn, so I'm used to spelling names all "modern" and "stupid-like." Still, this is getting ridiculous.

 

Maybe it's Russian?

 

Well, at least they spelled "Birlhday" right.

 

 

We really hope Uncle Boon likes his cake; it was a joint effort.

When you're weeding out the bad cakes, shouldn't this one be high on the list?
(And does anyone else have the munchies?)

 

 

Ah, finally, a cake that describes the cake's consistency AND the birthday girl's skin tone:

 

 

Still, it kinda pales in comparison with other cakes, doesn't it?

 

 

Do you think this cake contains nuts?

 

 

Because it certainly has the berries. (HEY-O!)

 

 

Meghan, Michelle R., Matt A., and John C., I'm glad you all have pretty standard names, since now I have to have our intern, Gaffudga Selph (she's French), send out an apology for my insulting all of the Aiyrunns out there.

 

 

 

UPDATE: From the desk of Ms. G. Selph:


Dear Reader,

 

Please note that the authors and employees of Cake Wrecks™ and all of its subsidiaries, including but not limited to Cake Wrecks Footwear™ and Cake Wrecks Plumbing and Air Conditioning™, in no way mean to imply or construe that any or all names used in today's post are in any way, shape, or form "stupid-like." (Even those that are.) We apologize for any confusion.  

Sincerely,

Gaffudga Selph

 

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Reader Comments (68)

I thought the second one said "Uncle Bony" and the joint effort joke was refering to a knee or hip or something, then you threw me for a loop with the weed joke. Now I see it!

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMel

What's up with the sides on Unc's cake? It looks like a fly tried to get in (lower leftish) and like something tried to get out (lower mid to rightish). Scary.

DB

wv: haere, as in We have a haere situation here. Oh, just slather on some more icing. No one will notice!

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Now those are my kind of jokes! XD

heh heh heh. weed. heh heh heh. Puff, puff, pass!

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

he he he...

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

Happy Bodhday Kvein? Double whammy!

Ms. G. Selph - you rock!

WV: redom
"Yeah, I redom those there cake orders and what's the problem with Kvein's cake?"

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That first cake doesn't look like birlhday to me. It says Bodhday....is that like the potty?

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJill

The disclaimer at the end is what had me rolling in my cubicle!!

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterConnie Moreno

BWAHAHA!

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The sack cake is really pretty -- except for the name....

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA Paperback Writer

*LAUGH* Even having grown up with an "alternative" spelling of a common name (Kristy) I still think these are unusual names. I'm going to take a stab and say the first is "Kevin" although the really funny part is how they screwed up birthday, even though they spelled it right! The uncle cake, I'm sort of praying is a private joke and I'm thinking the next cake was supposed to be Patsy but Pasty is much funnier. And now that you've got me craving snacks, pass the cashews! :)

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes

The berry cake actually looks pretty tasty...a nice way to cure my munchies....

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

#1 is a perfect example of someone neither dotting their i's nor crossing their t's.

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTJ

I love your puns.... your commentary... Thank you!!!!!

We were at an amusement park yesterday and the guy on the mic on the train ride was AWFUL!!!! I kept thinking, "I wish Jen from CakeWrecks was here instead. I'd much rather have clever puns!"

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

Twilight, and black water,
Eyes crossed, and Happy Falker's.
Staring at the misspelled name,
The Wreckerators are to blame.

And I can't get it out of my head,
No, I can't get it out of my head,
Now my cake world is gone for dead,
'cause I can't get it out of my head,
Thanks to Jen.

Sharon's Edible Art

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

What was "Sack" supposed to say?

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGina

Particularly good cake puns on this post. You were definitely on a roll, haha!

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMugdha

wv: Retriest -- If first you don't secceed, retriest again (and, as always, giving your bestest effort)

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

actually the uncle cake says "uncle bong", which is a perfectly normal name in the philippines. of course, one of the most popular actors here is named "dingdong"

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have GOT to stop reading this blog while eating cereal. Of course, I could probably spew my bran flakes on a cake and sell it, that appears to be par for the course.

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterT

Gina: I think it was supposed to be either Jack or Zack instead of Sack.

I have to say Jen, am loving the puns, I did some good drug related ones that you missed out at the end of my drugs awareness post: http://diaryofascoutleader.blogspot.com/search/label/drugs%20awareness

Keep them coming Jen!

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterScotland

Uncle Bong!! either he has a bad drug habit, or the cake buyers had the munchies and are celebrating their own habit, which apparently the bakers have too, considering the cake is smooth on one side and combed on the other. inconsistent decorating....they must be high. love the puns!

Poor Pasty. Maybe she needs some sun. or she's British. or from Seattle.

Sack's cake is beautiful! nice penmanship, lovely chocolate bow and fresh berries. It just needs a twig to go with those berries.

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

@ Mel--Uncle Bony could mean a whole other joint effort! just ask Sack! *nudge nudge, wink wink*

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

The name Kvein is sure to be in the top ten baby names soon. I can actually see some rapper using it: K'vein

I'd love to get the berry cake. But don't call me Sack.

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterknitorpurl

Sack was the nickname of the obnoxious fiance of Rachel MacAdams in the Wedding Crashers. He liked to beat people up. He'd probably beat up the decorator for making such a pretty cake.

wv: spits. self explanatory. what most commenters testify they have done with their cereal or coffee as they read this blog over breakfast. eh, T?

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have to say that I find it very annoying when people spell names all "modern." Aiyrunn, it is no reflection on you, it is a reflection on your parents. If the "supid-like" comment bothered you, don't be complaining when people mispronounce or misspell your name.

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Love this! Can't stand 'creative' spelling for names. Might want to give the Kvein cake some slack tho, unless you have it on good authority that it was a wreck; my mom is a teacher and had a Kvyn (boy, pronounced Kevin) in her class last year.

wv: stsyc - hey, if Kvyn can be a name maybe Stsyc can be too...

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, cool! I'm totally gonna name my kid Gaffudga!... It's either that, Riz, or Kvein.

"Sack" reminds me of "Wedding Crashers." I thought his name was "Sack" instead of "Zack" for like, two years.

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

OMG- that Pasty cake really hits home with me! My name it Patsy, and I cannot even tell you how many times it has been spelled "Pasty!" I wish I had some pictures of my past birthday cakes to post!

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPatsy A

That last cake does look good (licks lips).

Sometimes I amuse myself by trying to think of the weirdest possible spelling of my (conventionally-spelled) name, and mentally thank my parents for not going that route.

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

Kvein! haha.

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin

They all look yummy to me. I love the feelings put into each one.
Michael

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersurealist47

Well, a pasty (pron. passty) can be a lovely meat and vegetable pastry (fold over pie) that Welch miners take in their lunch boxes, but then there are the "other" pasties (pron. paasty) - maybe the wreckerator really meant those. It is really confusing. Is this becoming an adult site? That's what's so good abount puns. Norine

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Cake 1: Actually they didn't spell 'birthday' right either. It looks like BILTHDAY to me... Didn't cross the t or dot the i, for that matter.

Linda K.

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Too bad they screwed up the "Sack", 'cause the cake itself was lovely.

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPatricia

We've been trying to come up with a way to suggest to a friend that he has a substance abuse problem. Maybe saying it with cake would be just the ticket.

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Nuts... berries... sack... ~snigger~

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVictoria

LMFAO Gaffudga Selph I LOVE IT!! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngelina Krell

Well a good friend of mine is named
Patsy, and I called her Pasty, affectionately, as a kind of nickname..so, technically speaking (if you're into technicalities, and I just know you are) that cake may not qualify as an official, certifiable Wreck....

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermizdarlin

Je passe le bonjour à Mlle Selph.

-French Bean

Or maybe that first cake says "Happy Budhay" since, y'know, there's no dot on the "i," either...

I thought the second cake said "Uncle Bong" haha... I guess that's just how messed up the handwriting is.

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercatchat105

Next time someone complains, let them know the head of your customer service department is Helen Waite. If they need to complain to someone they can go to Helen Waite.

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was thinking that Bong was probably a name from another nationality, but still--makes us Yanks look twice! XD

Sack's cake is lovely. Not sure which country that's from (perhaps Gigglestein?)...

Just proves that sometimes wrecks are blatant offenses towards humanity (Kvein?)...and some are a bit more subtle. =)

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

Haha . . . it took me a moment to figure out what was going on with the French interns name. ;)

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I truly think the second cake is not a wreck. And yes, munchies it would be, all around.

(I couldn't figure out what you were saying Boon for)

As to others... ugh.

WV- unchrew -- "that I mispelt the name is unchrew." spoken by wreckerator #3

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Laughing SO HARD at the last one because now all I can think of is the characater "Sack" from Wedding Crashers!! "That's what we call a Sack Lunch! Mmmmnnnnmmmmmnn!"
Yes, I do believe it contains nuts!! ROFL! OMGosh!

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Yep for sure... I think that the first "cake" says "Happy Bodhday Kvein"...

And at first, I thought that was a FLY on the lower left of Uncle Bongs' cake.... but on second thought, maybe it's just a left over roach?

wv: persed
I would be very persed if they tried to pass Unc's cake off as a joint effort.

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTatersmama

Seriously...no matter how bad these cakes look, I get a horrible craving for cake with globs of frosting every single time I look at this site!!

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The last cake is even funnier in german. "Sack" means usually "bag", but also "scrotum". And it's popular to call someone a scrotum, although it's not very nice ;-)

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

#1 Depending on how long I stare at it, I get either 'bodhday' (some kind of Celtic event, perhaps?) or 'birlhday' which for some reason fits nicely with 'Kvein'.

Note the now-standard balloon on the right.

#2 reminds me of the famous saying, "Where the mind is, the piping bag will follow."

#3 either is a pasty disguised as a cake (I sincerely hope not, given the frosting and the sprinkles) or it conveys to Patsy the touching sentiment, "I remembered just as the bakery department was closing. Start feeling special now."

#4 What is the difference between weekday and Sunday? One letter.

wv: swind. Fictitious root of 'swindle', which is apropos of absolutely nothing seen here. No, really.

July 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

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