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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jul302010

Why On Earth Did You Buy THAT?




Oh.

Well, ok, then.

Seriously, I think I've just found my new favorite Wreckerator here. Way to work to your product's strengths, my friend! In fact, if you need any more ideas, I have a few suggestions:

"It beats jello"

"95% of diets fail anyway"

"Cheaper than therapy"

"It was this or rhubarb pie."

"The end MIGHT be nigh"

Ok, that's all I've got. Have anything better? Then gimmie your best 1-line Wreck sales pitch in the comments, and tonight I'll randomly select someone who makes me laugh to win a signed copy of Cake Wrecks, the book:
.
Only $5.20 on Amazon! Woot! Stock up!

I'll announce the winner in tomorrow's post, so check back then.

Now, quick, go BE FUNNY. Chop chop!

UPDATE: Here are some of my favorite entries so far, in case you don't feel like scrolling through the 1000+ comments:

"Now Dolphin Free!" - Jenniffer

"Think of the laughs you'll get" - Anony 10:09

"You could always send this to Cake Wrecks" - TechyDad

"Eatable" - Kathyrn R.

"Mostly Harmless" - Cat Beiber

"Get Used To Disappointment" - Lynn

"My Other Cake Has A Witty Saying On It" - Tessa Beers

"D***n it, Jim, I'm a Doctor, not a cake decorator!" - Becky@whatslifewithoutwhimsy

"It's not as old as it looks" - Jen (3:44pm)

"I quit" - Donna

"It was this or death" - M.A.

"Think of the children" - Tracy

"Like you could do any better." - Tami

"The bananas in your cart look lonely." - Charlie's Mom

"As seen on Cake Wrecks!" - Ashley

"We only would have screwed up your custom cake order, anyway." - Julie

"Don't act like you've never settled before." - Bryan & Jessica

"In some foreign countries this is actually a compliment." - Dolores

"Suck it, Trebek." - Janebabes

« Wreckies Of The Month | Main | It's Always the Quiet Ones »

Reader Comments (1396)

Carpe laganum

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

Crunchy Frog

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

"Mom told you to taste everything"

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterViiriäinen

Double dog dare!

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLyndsay

And it tastes bad too!

or in true wrecker lingo

"N it tatses bad two"

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy Mac

Because the crack matches my husband's crack!

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMoll in MO

beware the wombats

or

OMG whats that behind you?!?!

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen Marie

"We won't judge."

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

"We won't judge."

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

"We've all been there."

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Could be worse, could be raining...

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

"It's just easier."

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

"Crack kills
and cuts the price of this cake in half"

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterterrier817

"Have Some Icing With Your Cake...Wreck!"

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlysa Sawyer

"Bite me". Or would that actually be good on a cake? Never mind!

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

nice and simple: "meh?"

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNicebroom

"suck it trebek" AHAHAHA!

(pairs niceley with the 2nd comment about "therapist")

heeheeee! just made my day :)
-moochmom

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Think "ohana." Its broken...but still good.

Kelli

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelli

Earthquake Special.

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDiana L.

"Optional alien inside non-negotiable"

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSerenity

I mean, hey, it could have been your tattoo.

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLa

Well dear I am sorry...the gal said cake decorating just isn't all its cracked up to be...and well you did say I shouldn't have...

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterangela

Like YOU Could Do Better

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPatty

Too late - I was out of town! But mine:
(Blank inside)

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKarin P

Okay, I haven't read every post ... I didn't see it on your honorable mention list ... didn't anyone say:

SPLIT HAPPENS

Mrs_Lane_E_Us

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn

I'm on a high fiber diet and I noticed there was some lint on the frosting.

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatieQ

Dear JaneBabes,
Your 'suck it Trebek' made me unreasonably happy. Thank you.

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay

Bite me.

Have a happy bris!

Another birthday. Big whoop.

Cake...it's what's for dinner.

July 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLyn

At least it's not made of g**d**m cupcakes.

August 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJeremy

"At least you tried."

Best Simpson's cake ever

August 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRegisteredAssassin

Ma!

August 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSue

They beat me here.
Without the frosting, I'm licked.
Now with less zombie virus!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter*star.mama*

Rhubard was never meant to be eaten by humans anyways ;)
Nice photos by the way, visit my blog as well.

http://averagepeta.blogspot.com/

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAvg. P

Ce n'est pas un g√Ęteau.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCourtney

OH! This is my submission! How glorious.

The story: it was our friend Tom's birthday and we had an improv show that evening and deemed it appropriate to buy cake. We could have bought him a nice cake but let's be honest, half-drunk comedians don't appreciate that sort of stuff. They did however appreciate this wreck. Happy Half Price Birthday, Tom.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMandie

My shift ends in fifteen minutes! (I've worked at grocery store bakeries, and it's SO true!)

August 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

"U R really old"
"Oh no I did her again"
"I'm half baked"
"try me"
"Don't panic"
"I improvised"
"amateur psshh"
"it's better than your sex"
"I want a divorce"
"never say never"
"what's the worst that can happen?"

August 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCheyenne Gonzalez Ramirez

Because the cupcakes were too expensive...

Jayde

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"In case of contact with eyes, rinse immediately with plenty of water and seek medical advice."

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnneliesvd

put the pichforks down.... aaahhh! their going for the torches!!!!!!!!

March 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterobserver of odd

"at least 1% edible!"

April 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterZekrom10

They're just gonna EAT it Anyways!
Nora

July 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"I hate birthday boys."
"Take home unadoptables."
"Sorry - no refunds."

July 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

It could have been a flaming poo squirrel CCC. That was the other option.

November 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterG

"Look, it was this or DEATH! Would you want me to die?" "Yes, if you buy any other cake for me again." "Oh."
Or...
"The voice told me to."
Or...
"Almost certainly guaranteed to be (sort of) non-poisonous. Unless you count bleach."

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterG

The dog ate the other one.

August 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdolphin

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