My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Battle of the Beach

{We now return to your favourite underwater crime series, "Crab Cakes: Ocean Justice"}

{sobbing} "Help! Help!"



"Dr. Octopus is back! And his shenanigans are more evil than ever!"


"Mwuaah haa haa! You'll never stop me! I may have lost six legs in the last battle, but I'll never lose the power to DESTROY YOU!!"

"Stop right there, partner!"


"Nobody messes with the Sheriff of Crabtown."

Little did the Sheriff know, he was about to meet Doc Oct's gang of corrupt cephalopod cohorts straight from Squid Roe:


Mr. Blue...

"Dress sharp, kill clean."



The Twins...
{in unison} "We're adorable and ready to ink."



And Crazy Lou!
"WwwhhaaaLLAA OOOAaAaaHHhhH!"



""Don't worry, Sheriff. I, Professor Knowsitall, am writing up a sneaky plan to destroy the Evil Octopodes once and for all! First, we'll lead them down to the beach using cunning tactics."



"Then, we'll all stop shaving our armpits...

"Ya know, to appear more intimidating."



"Lastly, we'll disguise ourselves as footballs and hurl each other at them in an all-out ambush!"
"Now that's a pinch-hitter!"
(Oh, that's baseball? Whatever. No need to be crabby!)
Stay tuned for our next episode where Crabtown gets hit with a tidal wave! Will the Sheriff make it out alive? What happened to little Jake? And who took all the suntan lotion? Rolling credits: Jessica, Mauri T., Laura F., Carrie S., Kristy S., Jessica H., Carolann, Gabrielle W., Naomi, Beth W., Amanda, and Megan C.


Note from Jen: I have to add that the second to last crab reminds me of my favorite poem: "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning." That is all.


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Reader Comments (148)

To Jen:
Hopefully no one suffered internal hemorrhaging due to the last cake.
Ohhh freddled wait, that's only the third worst.
So does that mean that cake is the second worst in the universe?

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermblonde7

I'm thinking that Crazy Lou just saw a double rainbow.

"Squid Roe!" My favorite part of the entire commentary.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

Crazy Lou for the win. Although the poor guy looks like he's had a rather bad head injury...which might account for his behavior. 0_o

I think my favorite is 'Gulp'. Ahahahahaha, those eyes. I'd be scared too, if I were locked in a display case with these wrecks!

Your commentary is divine.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

I so want a green ""WwwhhaaaLLAA OOOAaAaaHHhhH!" monster cake for my birthday later this month!

Hil x

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Didn't need the link- I'm one hippy frood :) Thanks for the great post today- we're truly lol'ing over here.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

yeah well I read "underwear crime series" and the post took on a whole new meaning.


August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

HAHAHA! Oh my gosh! There's not enough penicillin in the world to get rid of those crabs..

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngelina Krell

Oh my gosh! Now I feel like a COMPLETE loser! While on vacation at the beach last summer my kids and I picked up one of those crab cakes (much like #1) bc we thought it was ADORABLE!!! Lol! We loved it! :)

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKristen C.

"Crazy Lou" cracked me up! Thanks for keeping me laughing!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

AAAHHHHHHHaaaaaa! This is one of the funniest one yet!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEleanor

Your writing of the "story" was fabulous!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Okay, the twins ARE adorable. The rest, though.. what's with the trend of making them all look evil/mischievous? They're all like >=) GONNA GET US

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Oh, and @Colette: Puh-leeeze! If they messed up a cute, fairly simple little crab, I'd love to see what they could do with the Aries ram! Imagine!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

The only problem with this site is that my co-workers don't get it. They have no clue why I sit at my desk laughing like an idiot at a bunch of cakes. It's ok though- I get it and I know a lot of other people do too! :D
Crazy Lou FTW BTW! :P

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterteri

Okay, that was awesome. Jen, you rock!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Crazy Lou had me laughing out loud!!

I can't wait for the crab crew's next adventure against Sharktopus!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeve

WV= mench. one of those verb tenses for munch. When it came time to defeat the evil octopus, all the crabs had to do was grab him and mench.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Too funny. Who would want a crab cake? My fave is Mr. Blue though. :)

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTonya

"Squid roe" is hilarious on at least ten levels. Bwahaha!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBig Bad Blog Writer

Aw, C'mon... Crazy Lou can't help it. Did you SEE the size of that brain tumor??!??!!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

H2G2 FTW! Yes!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBekah

One of your best commentaries!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

you need your poetry appreciation chair!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeagan

Squid Roe? (very loud groan) Now you've done it. My philodendron just turned ashy and wilted, and my dog is clawing at the door to escape.


August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCharly

Squid Roe! *snortlaugh*

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachel H.

My husband is off on a deployment and I'm having a hard time adjusting to the quiet here at home... but I read your posts every day. Today especially had me tearing up I was laughing so hard. Thanks for breaking up the monotony for me and bringing a smile to a Navy Wife's face when I needed it most! :0)

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElliedear

Love the octopodes as well! And I thought I was the only one.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I always a love a good Douglas Adams reference!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLessa

AAAaaaaaagggggggggghhhhhhhh! Vogon poetry! *slowly dying........slowly dying LAUGHING!*

Love this!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeide

FEEEEET! yuck!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I'm so in love with Crazy Lou! How could he not make you laugh? I so want him for my next birthday cake!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJanelle

Oh man, and I thought the crabs on "Deadliest Catch" were ugly... a couple of these guys look as if they might've been sloshing around in the hold of a crab fishing vessel a little tooooo long!

wv: dishalve: to try to put the cake back together after hacking it in half from fright.

Merry from Annie's Book Stop

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I almost started laughing out loud IN CLASS when I saw the Crazy Lou cake. LOL! Thanks for the laugh!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

Yeah, I actually really like Doc Oc (pic #2) - quite adorable for a CCC. I'm very fond of Prof. Knowsitall (Pic #8) as well - I'd really like getting either of for my birthday (Sept 7, hint hint, nudge nudge)

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDaMamaJama

Is it at all possible we could talk you into doing some extra research and finding a whole post's-worth of Hitchhiker's Guide cakery?? That would be sheer genius - just like Douglas Adams. If you've already done this, I guess I deserve to have some Vogon poetry read to me...

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie Grace

I love that the half-round Sheriff and Dr. Knowitall are both labelled "yellow". Those lily-livered fools. They'll never defeat Dr. Octopus that way.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

Is it just me, or are the half-oval crab cakes made from easter egg cake forms? They seem a little uneven, one side of the body thinner than the other...

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

And Crazy Lou!

Bwahahaha ROTFL! :D This is one of the best cakewrecks posts ever, and the other posts are hard to beat! I LOVE IT! Gah, the *suspense!* :) What will happen next? Maybe bakeries will stop making mutant crab cakes (crab?! really? what celebration calls for that? "Hey, sweetie, it being that time of the month and all, and you feeling so crustacean-like...well, I thought I'd buy you a ca-AHHGH!") cakes and turn their focus to fine-tuning their Picasso-like art skills!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

Sorry, I didn't catch that. When is the next episode?

Crazy Lou is my hero.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaff

Crazy Lou looks like Azathoth from The Adventures of Lil' Cthulhu. (about 2:20)

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTychaBrahe

Piling on to the "yay for correct use of Greek plural" bus. Love to the octopodes...and if there was any one blogger I'd peg as a shoo-in for getting that one right, it would be Jen.

There should be a secret handshake or something.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteressbee

*holding head* i just realized that I had been missing all these "fabulous" cakes! something with changing something, then Jen said the readers wouldn't change, and I believed her, so I didn't think anything of it, but it did, and I haven't read any cake wrecks since july 17th!!!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkrystina

Actually like #1. Sort of Emo Crab...

And, I like #6... Now THAT is my kind of Quintopuss

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnneke (Mudhooks)

What in the world is wrong with crazy Lou's head? Are his brains leaking out?!?

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGossamer

Oh, the Vogonity!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliceBlue

*sigh* At least 10% got the Vogon reference. I adore you Jen!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Ah! I needed a laugh. That was great!

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaaren

Is it wrong that Crazy Lou made me smile?

WV: aphan: Even though he made me smile, I am not aphan of the wreckerator.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpam

Oh sweet Mary on a pogo stick, you have killed me. Again.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa Stone

Crazy Lou actually made me draw back from my monitor. Also, love the Hitchhiker's reference.

August 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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