My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Great Wrecks In Store

Loyal Henchpersons, it has come to my attention that some of you are now concerned about ordering a cake. You feel there's no hope; that you're doomed to receiving a Wreck no matter what precautions you take. And for some strange reason, I feel a little responsible for this.

Well, good news, cake consumers: I'm here to restore your confidence! That's right: we're going to take a little field trip over to the local grocer's bakery. C'mon.

[pulling into parking lot] Aw, look! That must be the decorator's car! See, now that is an artist who takes his craft seriously.

Don't worry; I'm sure "CACE" is just an acronym.

Or a pun.


Look, the point is, this is a decorator who's not afraid to take "risks" for his art! And if you don't believe me, just look where he parked:


Well, let's head into the store now, shall we?

[heading down main aisle]

Oooh, check it out! There's a sale What does that say?

Ok, I can see you're getting a little concerned here. And, yes, three of the five words in the product name are misspelled. But, hey, they got "air" and "Febreze" right and those are tough! Besides, I'm sure the bakery employees are much more literate.

In fact, let's get over there; we have a cake to order!

Well, it's nice to know their ingredients may or may not be certifiable. Like I always say, a little mystery adds spice to life! Right? [elbowing ribs] Right?

[arriving at bakery counter] Ah, here we are! Now, let's get that cake ordered!

Hey, where are you going?

Get back over here!

C'mon, I'm sure the cake will be FINE. Don't be such a worry-wart!

Tell you what: I'll tell the nice employee here what we want, and you go grab some candles, ok? Meet you back here in five.

[five minutes later]

Oh, good, you found the candles! So...why don't you look happy?

Ah. Well...on the bright side, I doubt our decorator had anything to do with this! Heheheh - no?

Look, just to prove to you that everything is going to be alright, I got a copy of the order form the baker submitted for us. I'm sure once you look it over, all your concerns will be gone.

Um. We did want to be "Drawed a picture of a Thrown," right?


Well, drat. I guess now we just hope for the best; they said it'd be done in just a few minutes...

A-ha! See? What'd I tell you? Nothing to worry about at ALL.

Oh, quit complaining: a double inscription means double the fun!

And centering is boring.

And teal is kind of like "royal blue." In as much as it's blue. Ish.

And it only looks a little like a shower chair toilet thingy.

And...hey, where are you going? We still have to add the candles! Come back!

Well, Wreckies, I hope this little excursion has helped allay your fears of professional cake ordering. Now go forth, and order cakes!

And maybe bring your cameras. You know, just in case.

Tesha W., Cathy W., Amanda D., Noelle R., Maggie C., Morgan W., & Penske, I guess that order was such a royal pain that it blue right past the wreckerators and had them throne for a loop. So I guess we'll call it a "drawed."

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Reader Comments (89)

I seriously dont know which is more ugly...that dreadful car or hideous cake...they both made me want to cry :(

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren Borquez

Excellent post. I'm glad I'm not the only one bothered by all the misspellings in the world. It's good to be able to laugh at them! :-)

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEmily S.

Best post ever! Just hilarious!

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEG

Wow. That car is awesome, although I think the candles are a bit over the top. Heehee.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I. Love. This post :)

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBethany

That was the funniest thing I have seen all day! Well, it is only 9:41am, but still, so funny!!! Oh, wait, did I spell that rite? Ah, good, no silly red squiggly lines under any of my words..That's how to live life, watching out for the squiggly red lines under us.

P. S. How cute is Matt Smith as the new doctor? [just picked up season 5] I wasn't sure he'd pull it off, but he manages well! Spoiler...the last doctor regeneration will have ginger hair! [fingers crossed]

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterReceptionist Row

I don't know about anyone else, but whenever I order a cake or even walk past the bakery displays, I'm half-hoping to get/see a wreck. Alas, the bakers in my area seem to be annoyingly competent at their job. Either that, or I'm frequenting the right (any by that, I mean wrong) places.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTechyDad

bahahahah maybe your best one yet!!!!

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I want one of those Flood Parking signs.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Excellent! Thanks for the field trip. And you wonder how these people ever graduated...then I read the spelling of teachers on Facebook and I know!

Sharon's Edible Art

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Thanks for the field trip! I feel so much better!

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA Girl In Her Kitchen

Very funny. The "Writting" sign was just to much.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm "writting" this to say thank you for making me laugh - again and again and.....

WV: squalit
What some cakerwreckerators do when writing on a cake, you know - just squalit down and hope the customer doesn't notice.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

wow, I LOL'd IRL at the birthday candles

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

I shouldn't mention this but.... I'm pretty cure I misspelled "case" when I submitted the car photo. But either way.... AHAHAHAHAHA! Love the story, totally funny. =)

WV: suppin

I'm bored, wanna do suppin?

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTesha

Same here, TechyDad. Crarg, I say!

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

Truly one of my favorite posts! And, I too, am bothered by the misspellings in the world. (I think my favorite was the package of candles, though)

Thanks for bringing the laughter every day! (Except Saturdays. aww)

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterzuzuernie

Oh, so happy! Two of my fave blogs (cakewrecks, of course, and the blog of unneccesary quotes) collide. Brilliant story telling!

I must say, though, that the sign for the air freshener has me totally irked. How is the savings "up to" 60 cents? I swear, that is going to be bothering me all day.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa K

hahahaha!! This post was excellent, I love it. Thank you so much for a daily dose of humor. and cake. :-)

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStacey

I'd totally order from the "writting" person. He/she had good penmanship!

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi




I think I want to stay home for the foreseeable future. Now I'm afraid to go into the grocery store at all, much less the bakery.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

Unless my monitor is off, that icing on "Farewell to the Queen" looks more powder-blue than teal to me. Not royal blue, in any case. Next time I want to be Drawed a picture of a Thrown, I'll know to ask to see the icing color in advance, before the baker does the Writting on the cake.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Allayed my fears?
You've just made my life harder.
Everyone I ever sent here to enjoy the laughter is calling me to do their cake.

Thnaks. Yeah, "rilly".


ps - totally love how you find and organize the photos so well in conjunction with your storyline.

wv - harifil -- these signs are harifil portents of the future of the English language.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Those providing the 'writting' on these messes are also selling their 'dinning' room sets on craigslist... the 'thrown' — spelling and drawing — were AWESOME!

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterranchoreubidoux

Oh! the other craigslist typo that's reached epidemic proportions is describing things as 'hugh'! Makes me insane!

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterranchoreubidoux

Erm, "alright" isn't a word. It's "all right."

WV: cousn. I wouldn't give this cake to my least-favorite cousn.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

Bonjour Kayk,

The word "alright" has been in use since the 19th century and is an accepted merging of the words "all" and "right." Though some folks still object to its usage. Which is strange since "although" and "altogether" are equally acceptable conjunctions and there doesn't seem to be any issue with them.

So there.


ps. You spelled "cake" wrong.


August 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

Actually, it's only 3 out of 5 words spelled incorrectly on the air freshener ad; "Febreze" is the correct spelling of the brand name. How they managed to get that right and mangle the rest is beyond me. :)

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJade

I feel it's my civic duty to inform you that "Febreze" is the correct spelling of that particular brand. Even though it may seem to be a better portmanteau of "February" and "Breeze" than "Fabric" and "Breeze."

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTJ

And I thought the "garadge sale" sign we drove past last weekend was bad...

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeftWingLock

Ha! That kind of reminds me of this book, which the grammar ogre in me is absolutely DYING to read!!!

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEmma9405

Jade and TJ,

Boops. You are absolutely right. And apparently, what looks like poor spelling is really marketing genius.

Thanks for watching our proverbial backs.


August 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

All that misspelling makes my skin crawl! I don't think I will ever order a cake again - I think I'll just get a can of spam and put a candle on it...

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMolly Malone

To go with everything else, I guess it's appropriate that the bottom edge of the cake was crooked too.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVicki

I can't believe how many signs I see misspelled... I think it was in JFK airport that I saw a sign for the "Baggagge Claim"

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAislinn

How sad is it when all I asked of for a birthday cake was a certifiable Wreck???

Thanks for the laughs and the hopes that one day I may get a wreck of my very own!

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

O_O; That "throne" looks more like the electric chair from the Green Mile. Even John Coffey couldn't heal this mess; it's terminal.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As usual, I'm speechless by the sheer amount of wreckitude. Wow. I'm surprised they didn't get a baseball cake or something with those sketchy directions.

OR a cake with just those words on it. And nothing else. Or perhaps just the word 'THROWN'. Cakewrecks has taught me that NOTHING is impossible.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

Haha! For some reason I thought of" rel="nofollow">THIS
as I was reading this post. Those of you who get annoyed by misspellings as much as I do should enjoy it. They even have a book!

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAshlee

To be fair, that cake was done in whipped icing (see, it was circled on the order form!) and it's nearly impossible to get a dark color like royal blue in whipped icing. The icing just doesn't like to take that much coloring without going wet and flat and bitter.

... but the rest, totally true. -.-

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous



My daughter just started Kindergarten. And she knows what's wrong with that. And CACE.

WV: WAXED what? A real word for a wv? What's this world coming to?

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermimi

I ordered a cake from the grocery store for my birthday. I was a little afraid to do so. I am picking it up on Saturday. I must admit that I want it to look nice, but I also want to be able to send you blog fodder. We will see how things go!

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVal

I so enjoy this site! Now y'all need to check out for some hilarious commentary on the overuse of "quotation" "marks". I'll never get any work done around here . . . =-D

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered

I love this post - maybe even one of your best ones yet! But on the other hand, oh god help us all...

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Dream Police Person!

even better... the regence ad matches the cake perfectly.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommentermrBallistic

.... JEEZ! I did it again! Ok, that's it. I am completely unable to spell "cace" without triple checking it and accidentally changing it to an actual word!! lol

WV: welymen

Welymel... when "Happy Falker Satherhood" just doesn't cut it!

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTesha

This makes me glad that my grocery bakery sells slices of cake, no writing necessary.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

One of the best posts EVER!

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKarla T

Love it...but why would anyone want a picture of a car going through an automated car wash on their cake? Oh, it's a throne. Right. Been a long time since you lot had a royal family, I guess!

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlisa

The flood zone parking was only a "risk" when someone left the cake car out in the rain... Now just try to get that song out of your head!

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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