My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Strategic Strategery

September is International Strategic Thinking Month! Time to celebrate the joys of planning, forethought, thinking ahead, planning, and, you

Hey, look! Cake!

Dashes make everything better - I'm sure Queen J agrees.

Don't you hate it when there's that one really looong word in your inscription?

[shaking fist] Darn you, "happybirth!" Why do you have to be such a long, difficult-to-break-up word?!?

Of course when you do split up long words, knowing where to make the break is key:

In this case, placing "grounn" and "dhog" on separate lines just makes good, old fashioned sense. You know, kind of like cocaine in Coca-Cola. Or leeches.

'Course, if you play your cards right, then you won't have to break up any words:

[squinting seriously] "Now that's strategery."

Of course, when you have an oddly shaped cake strategic thinking is a must:

See how the baker left off the edge dots where the letters hang over? [tapping temple] Smarts, man. Smarts.

Nadine, Justine J., Krista M., Kevin H., P.K., Erin P., I wrote a short speech to thank you all for your contributions. [ahem hem hem]


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Reader Comments (62)

Dashes and gashes. Did somebody elbow that first cake?

WV: iniff - I've had just about iniff of these disastrous cakes!

Tee hee...

September 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Strategery, ha! Did you see the Man V Food episode where he's eating some frightening 16ish-patty cheeseburger in some place like Boston and this stupid blonde college girl comments that his eating tactics were, "Good strategery?" Maybe she works at one of these bakeries.

September 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

@Esty, isn't cursive writing what too many people see spray-painted on walls?

#1 When you write the first (and smaller) of two words and find that it takes up half the cake, that ought to be a clue that the rest ain't gonna fit. That's where our friend, Mr. Scraping Knife, comes in, accompanied by lots of 'cursive' language.

#2 The border looks like glazier's putty. For that great linseed oil taste that people crave! Once the border was decided on (and the drugs really kicked in), the rest sort of followed.

#3 Yes, nothing says 'happybirth day' like gray roses.

#4 'GROUNN DHOG' is the correct spelling and parsing on Mars, which is also where the observance originated.

#5 This may explain what has been happening to the fireflies -- they're being captured and used to produce glow-in-the-dark green icing. Just the thing for your '70' birthday.

#6 As with #2, I'm getting a strong 'hardware' vibe. This one appears to have been piped with a caulking gun. Continuing that theme, the surface beneath the inscription (in the few places it can be seen) appears to be burled walnut. This isn't a cake, it's a plaque! So that's the trouble: instead of home ec, the order went to shop class!

September 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I can't brain right now these cakes have struck me dumb.. lol what the heck are these wreckerators on thinking that doing that to cakes?? Maybe they figure people would be so happy for cake that they wouldn't care if it even had a bad word on it which I am sure you could find a wreck that did somewhere lol.

September 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Well, I'm sure 'Kirstd' enjoied her cake, despite the fact her wreckerator can't spell, or even write.
Clearly, what we need is a computer-style icing. If you make a mistake, you can just press backspace, change the text size and try again. It would even come with spellchecker. The only downside is we wouldn't have as much to laugh at.

September 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commentershikishinobi

hahahah that's awesome. i would be so pissed if i had to pick one of those up from the store.

September 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDefunk

Okay, the lettering on Queen J's cake is bad, but what's up with the tangle of balloon strings in the corner? How hard is it to make a straight line attached to a glob of frosting? I think even I could do that.

September 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterstuckinmypedals

Happy Birthday "Courney"? Corny?! What kind of name is that?!

September 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I bet these people don't plan ahead for their vacations either!

September 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter8 Ball Run

These are phenomenal. Plus they remind me of my daughters homework.

September 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I hope Cour
ney enjoys h
er happybirth

I feel so
rry for an
ybodywho has
to end
ure one of theseca

September 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCalvin

I know it's been said, but these are professional (as in remuneration has been paid for services) cake decorators?!

I'll bet Que-
en J was really glad they didn't get an amat-eur to do her cake. How disapp-
ointing would that have been!?!

September 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermeredithp

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