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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Sep162010

Dueling Disasters

Note: Press play and start scrolling!


Banjo #1: bada ding ding ding ding ding ding diiing...


Banjo #2: bada ding ding ding ding ding ding diiing...

Now this one.

Banjo #1: ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding...


Banjo #2: ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding...


YEEEEEEHAAAAAW!!!



Banjos #1 & #2 ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding

ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding

Ding.

Hey, Cindy S. and btchelicious: Bada ding ding ding.

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Reader Comments (173)

@Modern Male Hommaker:

You need to turn in your tips right now! I'm turning you in for that admission! :)

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

@ Brenda
"What's sad is that these people will reproduce and order cakes such as the following:

Guess What?
Under Neat That
I'm Preggos!
With Blue and Pink With Sprinkles

I see more Wrecks in our futures!! :)"

Based on the appearance of the "SunDrop" bride, they already had that cake about 5 months BEFORE the one in this post. Heh.

And y'all just keep the comments comin' bless your hearts. If there's one thing real Southern Folk are good at, it's laughing at ourselves. Now let's all have some iced tea and just enjoy the cakes y'hear?

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKat

That was awesome. The music even made my screaming 9 month old stop. If only it'd work on a loop and not drive me crazy :) But besides the music...awesome wrecks!

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJeanette

Funny!! Thanks for always being good for a laugh ... You are a good giggling part of my day :)

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan

Rednecks gotta have cake too. The dialogue in my mind went something like this:

Bud: I like beer. I like the confederacy let's make a cake for our wedding!
Ann: Are you purposin?
Bud: Got to celebrate something if we're gonna have cake.

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I so wish we could see the bride's (standing behind cake 1) face. Happy? Horrified? Disappointed? Outraged? The possibilities are endless. I know how I'd feel, but then I wouldn't have ordered any of those cake "aspects" in the first place...

LoriK @9:46am: please try to remember the definition of a wreck - anything Jen (or in this case, John) says is a wreck.

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEsty

That was great and horrific! the second cake would actually have been really cute...you know, without the beer cans.

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaaren

Holy crap, I was soooooooo not prepared for the full cakes!!!

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermichelle

That is a gross misuse of Sundrop. It's cruel to waste what others can't have.
(psst, soda bottlers- bring Sundrop to DC! I'll keep you in business forever!)

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

The funniest thing, to me, is that my sister wanders around "ding"ing dueling banjos rather frequently, and the date stamp on the pic is her birthday. Scary.

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterViolaNut

Oh. My. Heck.

The first one...yike.

The last one? I'm gonna run with the concept that the bride and groom purposely came up with the most oulandish, tackiest cake they could come up with as a joke. Nobody SERIOUSLY wants a cake like that, do they?

I was born a Yankee and became GRITS (Girl Raised In The South)...so I can appreciate that one from ALL angles!

WV: cophy. I seryusly need sum cophy to get ovur that cayke.

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Once again...brilliant commentary! I had no idea you could say so much with a few dings and a soundtrack. You make me laugh!!!!

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie

Is that a confederate flag?

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLissy

I LOVE SUN DROP. It rocks. Non Southerners could never understand. Confederate flags I can do without.

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCyril

New favorite post! I can't stop laughing.

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertardis-stowaway

And that is why I will never hire these people, whoever they are, to make a cake for me, much less my wedding cake. Yowzers! o_O

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

this post made my day.

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

Jen, you made my day. Tacky as it is though, it is really a well done cake. I'm sure it is exactly as Bubba and Bobbie Jo pictured it.

w.v.-liononey: after drinking all the Bud Light, the wedding guests were found liononey dance floor

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJaime

Redneckalicious!

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Duelling redneck wedding cakes = AWESOME!

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Schwerin

You have to turn the screen the other way. April 30, 2010.
The other direction does look like the words ONE and RACE but, no. Turn the screen.

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPantry Door

john (the hubby of jen [I miss your all-lower case moniker])

Your and Jen's brains are perverted, twisted, and brilliant - and I could just kiss them!
When the banjos go presto and the pictures pan back and the pictures suddenly fit together and become clear....priceless!
Love It!!!

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjillb-ilslp

Tina said:
mwahhahaha lol!!!
That was EPIC!!!!
I love cake wrecks with music in them :P

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterangel

1) The horror. Please don't tell anyone I live in the south. Omg.
2) In the center of Atlanta, in the oldest park in the city, we have seen an elderly man marching around carrying a 4'x6' confederate flag up and down the paths. I don't know what he is trying to say, but I'm gonna ask him if I see him again.
3) I was traumatized by yesterday's cruise post, and especially the comments from the meanieheads. So much so that I had a dream about it. You will be happy to know that I called your travel agent and she is taking care of the whole thing. (What have you done to me!?)

Alex

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

jillb-ilslp,

Actually it's weird. My name is supposed to always be john (the hubby of Jen) in deference to Jen's incredible awesometude. For some reason though, Blogger capitalizes my name on Cake Wrecks proper. Hm.

Interesting side note: I actually toyed with a few other names...

john (the hubby of the great and mighty JEN...en...en...)

john (the riderless, coconut wielding servant of Queen Jen of Scotland)

Or my favorite:
john the offensive

Ah well. I'm glad most of you liked the post.

john

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of JEN)

Seriously.... laughed so hard I cried! Awesome post!!!!!!!

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTania

OMG thats about all i have to say about those cakes! HAHAHAHAHA

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

From someone who lives in the south and does not want to, I can honestly say I would not be shocked to see either of these at a wedding around these parts. (Help! I'm a northerner! Someone get me outta here!)

*banging on the computer screen as if someone behind the glass can help me*

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJoAnna

Just to prove that this isn't necessarily a southern phenomenon... I used to be a florist. A bride came in on a Wednesday and said she needed a wedding bouquet for Saturday. Nothing else, just the bouquet. A bouquet of red roses in the shape of the number 8, for her beloved Dale Earnhardt Jr.

We had to special order the roses on short notice and forming the 8 as a bouquet was a royal pain. We quoted her a minimum of $50 and stressed *minimum*. Turned out to be $85. The fiance came to pick it up and he had an absolute fit. It didn't help that he was drunk as a skunk and I had to call a couple of big guys from the garden center to come over and look tough while lover-boy screamed obscenities at his betrothed over the phone. Then he literally threw $75 at us and walked out since the wedding was in 1/2 an hour.

Monday morning one of the garden center guys came over and asked for clarification of the story. Turns out he was at the local bowling alley at about 6:15 on Saturday and saw a really neat looking 8 made of roses tossed next to a smooshed sheet cake with what probably once said "Congratulations" on it. The bride had told us the ceremony was at 6pm, so in 15 minutes they got hitched, cut the cake, and dumped the bouquet.

My point of all this? It happened in Madison, WI and while the happy couples shown here are arguably lacking in taste, I'll bet they had waaaaaaaaaaay more manners than the couple I had to deal with! And there's something to be said for that.

(Thanks for the post that made me bust out laughing and mentally screaming "No! No!", even if it did bring back my florist trauma.)

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJRM

Oh...the tears...the pain from laughing...oh my...

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I guess I am not the only one who interprets the confederate flag as racist...but especially on a cake where one of the words showing says "RACE". What kind of race it refers to is anyone's guess, since it's on a confederate flag...

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

These cakes should be featured in one of your posts where you show what the bride asked for and what she actually got.

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Miss Mina @4:09pm asked "what the heck is Sundrop?"

SunDrop (which has variations in spelling and capitalization depending on the bottler) is a highly addictive, caffeine-packed, sugar-laden citrus-flavored soft drink which is bottled in select locations in The South. (Think Mountain Dew but sweeter and with more caffeine.) People are known to pack their car trunk full when visiting areas where it is sold. Fewer people are also know to buy it by mail order. And some are known to include it in care packages to soldiers overseas. In addition to drinking it, you can cook with it. Recipes available online. If you have a Food Lion grocery store, you can get SunDrop Sherbet. Fan page on Facebook, too.

It's a Southern thing. Like muddin', the Rebel flag, and the roadkill bill. Kind of hard to explain to Yankees.

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Interesting how it's non-Southerners who keep making this a racial issue. I guess people in some parts of the country just haven't moved past that yet. Anyone who understand the South knows that if you say "race," most people will first think you are talking about NASCAR.
And the flag doesn't mean as much as people think it does. There are some exceptions of course, put to paraphrase Freud, sometimes a flag is just a flag. If you think it has some sort of meaning, then that's what it means to you. It doesn't mean that it has the same meaning for everyone else.

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

The Wilton company is gonna go belly up once this trend takes hold.
AND, I am so sorry for my comments yesterday, I thought the cruise post was a joke.
Sorry it wasn't.

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterearthquakesandrattlesnakes

*Ahem!*

http://www.cmt.com/shows/dyn/my-big-redneck-wedding/series.jhtml

That is all.

Well except I think that's a doorstep, not a toilet. Just sayin'.

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

I laughed so hard I snorted, and snorted so hard it hurt.
This is the BEST post ever. OMG, I will never get over this.
And, as an official Southerner, am not in the LEAST offended by the redneck jokes!! If you cannot laugh at yourself (and your culture) then you really need to loosen up.

Oh, and for those of you who cannot buy Sundrop, just get a can of Mountain Dew and pour it into a 2 pound bag of sugar. Stir well and you have Sundrop. :)

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

Love, love, love the musical accompaniment (sp) to the posts!
BTW, thanks for sharing your misery from the last few days (though I'm sorry for your dissapointment). One of the things I love about CW/Epbot is that you are "real" here. Keep it coming!

September 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCheri

well john (the hubby of Jen) aka john (the riderless, coconut wielding servant of Queen Jen of Scotland) - I LOVE Monty Python and the Holy Grail, so I agree, that this is a great alias. You are not only a good porter, but a pretty darn good minstrel, too.

And "john the offensive" is fitting, too, whether being given the name by readers who just don't get it - or by the marvelous way in which you handle them.

All of these names are john the mark. (That's a cover for you Jen, in case you ever call out the name "Mark" in your sleep. Just please tell me it's not Mark Hamill.)

You two are a riot!

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjillb-ilslp

John (the hubby of Jen):

I like john (the riderless, coconut wielding servant of Queen Jen of Scotland), if you ever decide to change your name!

Great post today; the music only enhanced the wrecks!

I'm from the South (Arkansas), and my brother-in-law would have LOVED the Bud Light cake.

And yes, the brown is probably supposed to be mud. We like taking our ATVs and vehicles out to completely cover them in mud, so we can go wash the car in our Daisy Dukes...right?

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

I have.. no words.. laughing too hard lmao!!! I love the music to go with these cakes. Even made my hubby stop playing Halo: Reach for a minute to see why I was dying of laughter. I hope the cakes were delicious after all of that.. wreckage.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Ew! Why are the cake toppers covered in feces?!

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The suppressed Texan in me just perked up. Scary. :)

That was ding-a-ling-dong-tastic!

word verification: "Renita" -- The name of the bride.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLyndsay

@pikkewyntjie, Thank you!

I do find it interesting that a post "making fun of" Italians or other nationalities is offensive, but a post making fun of Southerners is ok. (based on comments from other posters)

Personally, I think they're all funny! It has to be ok to laugh!

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterproudSoutherngal

The bud light cake is truly awesome. I'm guessing the "sun drop" bride showed her baker the picture and said "make this", and ended up with her wreck. I don't consider the bud light cake a wreck at all, and in fact quite the engineering/technical masterpiece.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSue

I like the Bud Light one! Looks well made. I can't see how that's any more tacky than having a gaming cake at your wedding.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin

The way you make this blog an interactive audio-visual experience is probably what makes it (in my opinion) one of the finest blogs on the internet. Well done.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm deeply depressed :(
These couples surely left their tasteful receptions and began working on procreation (if they hadn't begun already.)
What will follow is frightening:

Baby shower cakes depicting C-sections

First Birthday cakes decorated with Marlboro packs.

Sweet 16 cupcake cakes decorated with edible photos of the birthday girl doing her first professional lap dance.

Thank goodness there won't be any graduation cake!

Perhaps we can take up a collection to provide birth control for the happy couples.
Confederate Flag condoms, perhaps?

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Great, Jen. I now have the munchkins from Spaceballs stuck in my head, thanks to your last line. "Dink DINK dink!"

Also, am I the only one who thought the mud-slung cake topper was actually cute? I mean, I found the entire cake to be well-done. It was a horrible, horrible *idea* for the cake, but it was, IMHO, completely well-executed.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChris F

I just about died laughing. Ding ding ding!

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSif

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