My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Sprinkled With Pride


Here in America...[dramatic pause]...we believe in... patriotism! Integrity! Courage!

We believe that Old Glory should cover not only our hearts...

...but our stomachs as well.

[swelling music]

We believe that education and patriotic sprinkles are the bedrock of our society:

But mostly the sprinkles.

[music swelling further]


We believe that the size of our cupcakes should not be defined by the size of our cups...

...but by the size of our ovens.

We believe that even our bread pudding...

...should be frosted. Patriotically.

Here in America, we believe that no cupcake is complete...

...until it is deep-fried.

Aw yeeeah.

[music swelling further]


Where even our drizzle is patriotic:

And our monkeys...

...wear American kimonos.

Because we believe that monkey cakes wearing American kimonos is what America is all about.


[music now fully swollen]

And my friends, let us never forget, when it comes to American pride...

...we know how to rock it.


Glynis C., Carol G., Kay S., Jessica T., Cindy, Jessie from Cakespy, Molly M., Elizabeth J., & Brouk, now's the time on Sprockets when we dance. With monkeys. In kimonos. Patriotically.

« Decorating in the Meantime | Main | Oh, the Irony »

Reader Comments (216)

Hey that last cake didn't have a plastic cover, where did it's protection go?........
I also vote for Sam the eagle.

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterroman lover

Patriotic dildos!!!

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter:::b r a n d i:::

That's not a stomach...

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJW

@Isabella: TOTAL WIN! Hahahahahhahaha!

Wow, those are some special...uh...cakes?

Cupcakes are perfect as is! Stop turning them into CCCs and scary deep fried pops! Gosh!

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

SUA? States United America. I think they were trying to go for the monogram look – yer doin’ it wrong!

The monkey cake kind of reminds me of Steve, the monkey from Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs. Creepy he's looking for gummi bears.

Then there's the last cake. I am wiping away tears 'cuz that's so darn funny and so wrong on so many levels. Looks like a picture that goes along with a joke: 3 penises are on a cake, one says to the other “Why so blue?” (Go on...go back & look! It looks like two are turned so they are talking to each other and the other is “blushing” from embarrassment of being put on that cake).

wv: berhingu: I berhingu a cake, but they wrecked it.

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I just had a horrible thought...what if parts of that last cake were deep-fried?


wv: pyhect: Py? Hect no! I want cake!

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the USA should SUA that donut shop in the nearest court.

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTom

"S.U.A" ?!?! Really?! And those "rockets" . . .

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMom N Mia Quilts

With those "rockets" shouldn't this post have a disclaimer?

(both about childern and about drinks leaving your mouth at high velocity thru your nose)

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

Star-bellied Sneetch "rockets". I guess there was more to Dr. Seuss' story...

wv: I was shoun these cakes and I laughed so hard!

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

There IS such a thing as too much of a good thing!

check out my blog:

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~Nikki~

Oh look, it's the extremely rare but not-rare-enough kimono-wearing monkeyfrog!

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSandi

Oh sweet lord, the monkey with the American kimono made me laugh uproariously

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAdrian

Wreckerator #2: "Oh I hate it when I have to do lettering. I always spell things wrong. Does anyone know how to spell 'U S A'?"

Last Wreckorator: "Rockets? I'll give you rockets."

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

I love a giant cupcake, as for the rest of them...makes me want to light up some fireworks and sing "God Bless America"

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm still trying to figure out the shape of the first one. Is it a giant American chicken? A really bad rendition of the Lower 48? I just don't see anything...

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterzarchasmpgmr

" Angel H. said... Sorry, I had to do this:

America - F*** yeah!"

Forget that I was cracking up at the cakes and appropriate swelling music....this comment made me fall out of my chair!

Great post. A classic for sure.

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I can get by the sprinkles. I can move past the monkey (thought it was a pig). I can pass on the spelling issues (of three letters?) I can make the barest mention that deep fried cupcakes is not the weirdest fried thing I have seen at our fair. I can even avoid commenting on the last cake.
However, I am dismayed and distraught by some fool frosting bread pudding. (Second issue is the weird shapes.)

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergingerzing1967

Uhmm not sure if those are rockets or something you can get at a passion party and is that MON-PIGGY, couldn't tell

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

How bad is it that I really, really want to try the fried cupcakes?

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Aviatrix' post reminded me of an old Mash episode where the general said "Rockets, Lots of Rockets!"

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Music now fully swollen"

*Dies laughing*

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

The last one. Wow.

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I for one, would pay nearly any amount of money to get that monkey "flasher" cake with one of those "rockets" from the last strategically attached... TOO FUNNY!!! Awesome post!

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTish

Can't stop laughing -- this is the funniest thing I've seen in a while. Forget the apple pie, nothing says SUA like Mom, baseball, and wrecky cakes!

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

This is a great post - had me guffawing, especially at the monkey. And I can't believe the bakery actually labeled the cake box "patriotic drizzle". Is that a technical term?

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

SUA really had me stumped. I mean, really? USA? When you SAY it you SPELL it! Come on people!

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStefRobrts

That last cake is where you get "patriotic" drizzle lol Yeah I took that too far. Don't Care.

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

if the rockets don't go away after 4 hours, you should call your doctor.

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I'm kind of curious about the deep fried cupcake, although I suspect it's pretty similar to the deep friend Twinkie I had at the LA Fair and the deep friend 3 Musketeers bar I had at the OR state fair.

I didn't think that flag thing on the monkey looked like a kimono. It looks more like a cape to me, which the monkey is inexplicably wearing under the arms instead of over the shoulders. Frankly, the most disturbing thing in the whole post is the monkey's pig snout and frog legs. Paging Dr. Moreau . . .

wv: buyersi - the sickness in which a buyer sees how an order became a wreck but purchases it anyway in order to submit it to Cake Wrecks.

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last cake certainly makes me think of "pride"...but not of the patriotic sort.

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

Great post. I heard it all in Stan Freberg's voice. If you haven't heard his "United States of America, Vol. 1 and 2", you need to check it out.

"I'll just run it up the flagpole, see if anyone salutes..."

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I had the Team America theme playing in my head the whole post....

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPastry Tracy

Oh, my.

And the build-up to the, um, climatic pic was masterly.

*wipes forehead*

OK have now laughed enough to skip the sit-ups tonight - thank you :)

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

After following this blog, I have come to the conclusion that there should be a mandate against recreating any cylindrical, pointed object in cake and frosting. Space shuttles, turrets, rockets. See, frosting just doesn't POINT very well, does it? What you end up with are porno-carbs at a bakery near you. (Course, it makes for great comic relief on-line!)

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMina


September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous


September 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermacgilroy

Glad I'm not the only one to notice this:

The use of the word "swollen" right before the last photo was sheer comedic genius. It planted the awful thought in my mind right before the big reveal. :)

You're awesome!

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

I thought the first one was a very patriotic chicken.

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I just came!

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I just came!

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm laughing so hard I just about pee'd my pants!!!!

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I thought patriotic drizzle was a description of a Teabagger event ;-)

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMark Heil

Oh my. Oh... my....

Rock it. You did not just say that.

SUA??? Honestly, SUA??? This is NOT a mongram of epic proportions, people.

Though in retrospect, speaking of epic proportions, I have to say I LOVE the HUGE cupcake.

On the other end of the spectrum - iced bread pudding? What addlepated brain came up with that idea?

I also thought once people started deep frying Twinkies, hope died. For anything.



September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Shaz, I saw the same thing as you. All together now - Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Oi! Oi! Oi!

Our patriotism doesn't "swell" quite as much as the average American's, :D

@JW -'s a space station.

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWolvie Girl


"Star" shaped bread pudding (???) and patriotic "rockets" FTW!!!

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaura

These just keep getting better and better! I was snorting at the "SUA" donut (what's up with that god-awful taupe icing) and then got to the "rockets". Hmmm, nothing says 'Merica like 3 leaning penises. Wait, they come with stars??

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterof sage and sepia

Heh. I've eaten a deep-fried mars bar before. It was yummy.

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

At the MN State Fair (going on as we speak thru Labor Day) you can get just about any kind of food deep-fried and served on a stick - surprised I haven't heard of deep-fried cupcakes till now. And while they don't have frosting on the outside, they seem to have some kind of goodies inside to make up for it...

That said, I think the first picture is supposed to be a heart shape, but that's totally a guess. I kinda like the super-sized cupcake too. The SUA takes the "cake", so to speak. How awful is that?

Can't for the life of me figure out why bread pudding requires frosting of any kind. And then what can be said about patriotic drizzles? on rice krispie bars no less???

The creature is almost unidentifiable. Even a monkey couldn't hold on to anything with those arms!!

And then there's the "rocket" cake. I had to scroll past that really quick at work. OMG. didn't want someone to think I was looking at a some bad website!


September 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermn_me

I think some of these decorators picked the wrong line of work. Judging by that last cake, they clearly should go into anatomy.

The giant cupcake isn't bad. At least it's just one cupcake. Can you imagine a CCC that size?

America! Where we are free to decorate as badly as we want to!

September 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBree

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