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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Sep242010

This Calls For a Par-Tay

Birthdays and weddings? Pshaw. That's nothing. How about...

...celebrating your favorite fashion fetish?

And I love cake! We should be friends.

No, you can't borrow my yellow boots. Yes, I know they're awesome. No, sorry, you can't "just hold one for a minute." Hey, what are you...are you smelling my shoes?!? Dude, this is getting kind of uncomfortable. You know what? How 'bout you just give me my slice of cake and I'll go eat it in my cubicle?

Ok, so maybe fashion fetish cakes aren't the best idea. How about obscure lines from 60's sitcoms?

Here's a story

Of a lovely lady!

(everybody, now!)

Who was something something very lovely something!

Something something...something...

something...
.....

AND THAT'S THE WAAAAY WE BECAAAME THE BRADY BUNCH!

Alright, maybe some of us don't remember the Brady Bunch that well.

HOWEVER, who couldn't use a cake like this?

Perfect for blind dates.

(The visual is in case they happen to be illiterate. Or Canadian.)

And once the honeymoon's over, there's always this handy design to let your mate know exactly where s/he stands:

Or, in this case, sleeps.

[It says, "You're in the doghouse now!"]

It's kind of a mixed message, though, don't you think? I mean, I'm in the doghouse, but you're giving me...cake? (Granted, a vile cupcake cake - ptooie!- but still.) Hmm. Yeah, I've thought it over, and you know what? I *still* think those pants make you look fat. So THERE. And I hear there's a sale on sheet cakes today. Just thought you should know.

And speaking of repeat offenders...

If loving your favorite gun enough to celebrate it with a cake is an offense, then call me not guilty. (I prefer cannoli. Unless it's an automatic, of course; in that case, I go with the more traditional JELL-O Jigglers.)

"But, Jinn," you're thinking - because now you've confused me with a bottle-dwelling genie, or maybe that guy on LOST - "Jinn, I don't *have* a favorite gun to celebrate! Or any gun at all!"

Well, my sadly confused friend, never fear; no matter who you are, or what you're celebrating, I've found a cake that will truly go with any occasion:

It's like a one-size-fits all.

Assuming the "all" is one person, of course.

Thanks to Alison D., Becky K., Sondra D., Kasey R., Laurie R., & Mia L., Mia L., Mia L., who I believe are all Canadian. And I love them. In fact, I love Canada. I love Canadian stuff. The fact that I've chosen to make Canada my knee-jerk nemesis for this post is really just a reflection of my deep-seated love and respect for this country and its people. 'Cuz they can take a joke. And won't, for example, hunt down errant bloggers with packs of wild meese. (That IS the plural of moose, right?)

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Reader Comments (127)

As a "French" Canadian... I don't take offence... I add an "e" to almost every english word :-) It's all in the accent!

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I must getting REALLY old because the Marsha reference did not remind me of t he Brady Bunch, but rather an old quotation from something I think was on a radio soap opera my Dad listened to, with a couple named John and Marsha who were in the throws of passion and just kept saying their names over and over again."John,John,John." "Marsha Marsha, Marsha." It makes me laugh, because I know a couple named John and Marsha!

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

so the firearms cake is that what you might call the "guns and roses cake" ? lol....aahh, I must be tired myself :o)

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love Americans as much as the next Canadian but I'm unsure of your joke. I can take a joke, that I am sure, but you are calling us stupid?? I can see if you played on our apparent overuse of the word "eh" or our tendency to be super polite. But stupid? Where did that come from? Did I miss something? Maybe that does make me a stupid Canuck.

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered Commenternikki

CW3 reads, to me, like:

"Got Crabe?"

Crabe???

and what's more puzzling, is that the brady bunch cookie looks like it's out among the "regular" pick-it-up-anytime treats (vs. being a custom-made design).

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermare

Okay, apparently MY lack in sleep has made me a stupid Canuck. It's an "E" not and "S" therefore making it French.
Let's both get some sleep and call it a day.

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered Commenternikki

i love the pictures I though it was just my cakes that go wrong, really liked the soup cake

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCV writing service

...and the crab picture on the photocake is upside down. Maybe that kind of thing flies in Canada, but not around here.

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterI'm from Maryland...

Also, the Crab Cake (heh) should be sprinkled with Old Bay, not colorless sanding sugar. And don't let me find out it's NOT buttercake.

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStill from Maryland

The gun cake was actually kinda neat. We are hunters and my husband would LOVE a cake with guns on it!!!

As for the Canadian comment..... you're just being "American".....

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDavina

That's a disquieting amount of red in that shoe. Did someone cut their toes off to try to fit in it, a la the original Cinderella story?

WV: nolissin. We get-a these-a wrecks because da baker, he nolissin.

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladycrim

And yes, Marcia is spelled wrong all three times on that cookie! That makes it truly a Wreck

Did no one but me think the tomato soup can might be an Andy Warhol tribute? Wait, was he Canadian?

WV: butformo--the cake pan mold they use to make those baby bottom cakes for showers.

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Ah, so nice to see 'Marcia' spelled 'Marsha'. 'Cause as us Canadian folk know, 'Marcia' is a totally 'nother name. The Brady's just mispronounced it all those years - another sign of their passive-aggressive dysfunctionality. - that's a word, right? Just sayin...

And Kay - The *gun* was what made me think of 'In the Jailhouse Now' - gotta love Tim Blake Nelson!

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercaptive

I have personally made a tomato soup cake (condensed tomato soup being one of the ingredients). Yes, sounds disgusting ... but it really is delicious! Honest to God. I never would have thought. It. Is Good.

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDebbi

I remember the invasion of the crabes.... way back...
It was so bad. They had to x ray most people's memories so they forgot...
they missed me 'cause I was looking for Emelda's other shoe.
Now, crabs of all kinds are back, and so is The Marco's family business- politics and shoes.
That gun cake, just staring at us...shudder.
mocking

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Since "The Brady Bunch" premiered in September 1969, I suppose you are correct by a technicality. However, I believe most people consider it a show from the 1970s, not the 1960s, since it ran till 1974. (And no, I'm not a huge fan. I have an internet connection and looked it up.)

Sorry if I'm not the first to point this out. I didn't bother to read all the other comments. They were mostly from Canadians who maybe can't take a joke as well as you thought.

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The gun cake reminded me of "Sledge Hammer." Anyone else?

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Our plural of moose is 'moose and squirrel'. "

OMG, I am DYING! LMAO!

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKristi

Anonymous who posted at 11:24 - Yes, the John and Marsha skit (it was by Stan Freberg, btw) was first in my mind as well.

I like the flowers on the gun cake. I think it would look super if someone just kind of....squished the gun a bit.

Wtf? WV is an actual word: "spines". Where's the fun in that?

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDidoCarthage

No Kay, you are not the only one singing that....

I thought it said 'got crabs' - eeugh...

WV - doirear..what I'd get if I ate that red splattered shoe cake...

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Godfather and Monty Python in one post? You should stay up for 42 hours more often!

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

Proud to be someone picking on your Star Wars/Lost references and NOT the Canadian thing! :D

My LOST-junkie friend informs me that Jin's name is spelled with one N. But legendary Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn's name is spelled with two.

And I totally have you confused with him. TOTALLY. ;)

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRhubarb

I agree with Anonymous at 11:26 AM. The "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha" is from a classic Stan Freberg radio comedy sketch. You can listen to it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcDiB4y9oOE

What really makes it funny is that Freberg is doing the voices of both John AND Marsha!

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDelibird

Okay, I love the Marsha Marsha Marsha one. But then again, it's a cookie cake, which I still don't understand.

And hey, kudos to the doghouse decorator for spelling "you're" correctly. Woohoo!

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The shoe cake looks like something ....really....

Awful.

Happened.

http://arguingwithadoughnut.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">http://arguingwithadoughnut.blogspot.com/

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKate

First thing a tomatoe soup cake is like a spice cake and the soup makes it very moist. It's spicy like a pumpkin or applesauce cake and I think the recipe was developed during WW1 or WW2 when there was a shortage of eggs. They are very good if you like spice cake. Second as a fellow Canadian I laugh at all your Jokes even the ones that poke fun at us. We are just as funny as any one else out there eh!

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPamela

I was just happily chuckling until the last one...
Spit take anyone?

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I *am* a foot fetishist... and I can decorate cakes a helluva lot better than that, thank heavens!

I also know that foot themed cakes are just WRONG, man. Not all great tastes go great together. :P

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

I definitely thought of Andy Warhol as soon as I saw the Tomato Soup cake... but then I'm an art major :-)

I've never watched the Brady Bunch (rather too young), but I've definitely heard "Marcia Marcia Marcia" many times - even watching very little TV growing up, and none now. I sorta assumed it was ingrained in pop culture.

The guns 'n' roses cake (or so I assume it is) was rather beautifully done. Prettiest 'wreck' in a while.

Also - Jen, you make my day. I adore your posts. :-)

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArtMajor

Hey, that Campbell's Soup can is very pop art. And everyone knows, pop art doesn't actually have to be good...

I love tomato soup!

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLalli

Hunt you down..no, no, we are a patient bunch...just don't turn your back..or go to sleep...even Canadians can make cream pies...just ask some of our politicans..

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermizdarlin

@Kay, I was totally singing that too! "He's in the doghouse now...he's in the doghouse now..." XD

These are just...weird. Except for the "Marsha" cake--that's how my mom spells her name! =D (although she has to endure her share of Brady Bunch jokes)

I would say the Campbell's Soup Can is a poor attempt to do what the peeps over at Duff's place do--make detailed replicas of things out of cake. Either that or the wreckorator was just feeling random that day.

Whenever someone on here makes a joke about Canadians, I think of Rick Moranis and his buddy in their earflap hats on 'Kids in the Hall.' (or was that SNL?) Hollywood Canadians! ;)

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

Move over Andy Warhol, there's a new artist in town!

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Gotta say great post and comments today!

@Karen... LOVED your angry "letter". Please miss, may I have some more!?!?

WV: hanis (pronouced HAY-nis) This cakes are totally hanis

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercraftinqueen

When I first saw the doghouse cupcakes, I thought they were supposed to be an Oompa Loompa! (from shoulders up) It's the right colors and shape! HAHAAHH!

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaddie

Well geez. I'm so cheesed by the 'Canadian' comment I might have to go to Timmies for a double double.

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I see the " got crabe" as a wrecky decorator that simply wanted to follow the laws of bilinguism. Maybe the cake was made in Ottawa? =P

I wonder what the shoe wanted to splat to be that big and red...lets hope for a giant mosquito!

Keep the good wrecks coming! ^^

Ps; mice is the plural of mouse. But meese, that's something i totally didn't know! (living in quebec, its fun to see how when i was young, learning english was mostly done with crosswords. ;) )

VW: Guess. Yup, that,s totally what i did today, with the silly meese stuff.

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVinie

because now you've confused me with a bottle-dwelling genie, or maybe that guy on LOST

--that made me snort my odwalla. thank you.

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrie

Glad others were thinking of cakes with tomato soup in them, and of Andy Warhol

Ooo, I know a fellow that should be given that doghouse cake! He's in one so often, he might as well enjoy it :) (And I thought that was an ugly cupcake mosaic, which is OK, not a CCC?)

@Maryland: So, I guess then that wasn't a Canadian cake, but an Australian one?

About the "meece": plural of mouse is mice. (Dare I insert a comment about Canadian schools vs American schools here? --BIG grin)

@Zita: adding the "e"... was "hilar-e-ous" :) The extra "e" adds a certaine je-ne-sais-quoi to words, eh? That explanation sure beats what I was thinking when I saw the cake (public health risks! Amber's professional hazards?)

That cake may love shoes... it eats them alive. (I prefer to think that as leaching shoe dye, not as foot blood!)

PS I'm Canadian(who grew up in Australia, hence my comment above) who appreciates gentle teasing. After all, we DO invade Jen and John's state (Florida) every winter ;)

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

Eewww. A shoe fetish and evidently of stomp/snuff films.

Or alt./older version of Cinderella where the stepsisters, in order to make their feet fit the tiny slippers, amputated bits, thus tipping off the prince they weren't a perfect fit by leaving pools of blood in their footsteps.

That is not how you make crabcakes.

Do not Marcia three times to a friend I know. Beetlejuice is much nicer.

WV: zinglut -- when too many zingers are flying on the boards.

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

I love meese!

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Jen, play nice with the Canadians or we'll send you all of our elderly every winter!
... Oh, wait . . .

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

#2 Definitely Stan Freberg because of the spelling. Love the daisies, though. If that's what they are, I mean -- I wouldn't want to give out false flower information on a site about cakes. Maybe they're (tying handkerchief on head) crymanthesums!

#3 Got crabe?? For some reason, that makes me think of 'Jabberwocky'. I wonder if the sender of this and the sender of "It's Just a Gold Sore" know each other.

#4 Anyone who receives a CCC (patooie!) should already be wondering what they did wrong, so the message is redundant. But is it a CCC if the cupcakes aren't cemented together by frosting applied with a trowel?

#5 "Gun and flowers that may or may not be roses." Kind of an awkward name for a band, so I went with a Dirty Harry reference: "Go ahead, make my day." And yes, Sledge Hammer. (Great -- now I have that Peter Gabriel tune stuck.)

#6 Warhol all the way. Tomato soup cake is yummy.

@ Karen, you do belong. Love the 'strongly worded letter' joke. People who 'get' the spirit of this forum add to the fun.

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I am really happy that you agree with me on the plural form of 'moose'. Thank you.

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOlga

Oops -- missed it! How many noticed the use of "you're" on the cake board on #4? To paraphrase Winston Smith, "Little by little, we expand the area of literacy."

So the message makes some kind of sense, it is properly spelled and the cupcakes are not hidden beneath a pavement of frosting. Is it Sunday already?

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Why does the dog house CCC say "Slot" on it? I don't get it. It also kinda looks like a carrot arrow.

WV: hodecal - another word for "tramp stamp"

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Aliza may be on to something. The invasion of Canadians to Florida each fall may have quietly influenced poor Jen's sense of humor. Over on Florida's West Coast, we would announce "They're baaa-aack" at the sight of the first Canadian license plate in October. Of course, we adopted their pennies and dimes as US currency too.

wv: ewello - Jello made in one of those Easter lamb molds

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Mmmm, crab cakes.

My sister was bit by a moose...

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCanadian Crabber

Yes! I always knew the plural of moose was meese!

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeeses W.

clan of the cave hair, what's wrong with the proportion of the gun? Looks like a picture-perfect representation of a Colt 1851 Navy revolver to me.

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCharles Ellis

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