My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Off Color Remarks

For many years now - in fact, for just about as long as I can remember - I've been Polish. Sure, I'm also Irish, German, Iroquois, Russian, and a shameful bit of Swedish that we don't talk about, but mostly I'm Polish. You can tell by my mom's maiden name which has 17 consonants and 2 vowels. But that's not the point.

The point is, my Polish brothers and sisters, that we of the Land of Pole have been the butt of jokes for many a year. And frankly, some cake decorators aren't helping the situation.

Allow me to illustrate.

This is the Polish flag:

Let's take a moment to admire it whilst humming the Polish National Anthem, shall we?




And now, allow me to present the Polish flag cake that brings shame on the land of my second great great uncle on my cousin's sister's husband's side:

What, the Wreckorator thought we wouldn't notice?!? Huh?

I mean, c'mon, our flag is way wider than that.

Thanks, Cristen. Oh, and for the rest of you: keep in mind that the two comment moderators here are me and my sister Anne-Marie, and we share slightly warped Polish/Irish mean streaks. So comment...carefully.

Best comment so far: ugh, I wouldn't touch that with a 6 foot Pole (wait, how tall are you?)-tjbmurph

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Reader Comments (76)

I think the Wreckonator was attempting to make the cake a pierogi-color...something to consider.

Sue (who's Mom is from Poland)

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

my MIL is polish. yeah, it's fun. i don't think i've EVER seen her make a cake, and DH says birthdays were no big deal growing up.

however. she has made certain to teach all her descendants how to say "kiss my a$$" in polish: (phonetically) boodgie dupaw.

that's what you get for mocking the DRIED-BLOOD color on that flag. you're welcome.

Jennifer E.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMamaBear

So here I am, thinking, "surely, even a wreckerator has enough respect not to write on a flag, so the 'flag' must be the patch of unpronounceable 'color' at the bottom." *Facepalm*

It is distinctly possible that the wreckerator was both colorblind and the only person in the shop who was aware of what was ordered. Thus, when the printer barfed, there was no way to know that it wasn't supposed to look like that. Two words: quality control.

BTW, for vowel-challenged names, just try to beat Wales.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Not that there is an excuse for actually handing that cake to a customer, but I can guess what might have happened. Red food colors fade fairly quickly in bright light (think any 24 hour large supermarket where it's never dark). It may have been a lovely red color the three days before when they decorated the cake and set it aside. Shudder. Three day old cake - ew.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFerralyn

I wouldn't touch that with a 10 foot pole or two 5 foot hungarians.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i'm 100% polish and it's nice to hear you have polish blood in you! :D

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

All of my relevant comments about the cake have been made by others. However, to add to the color debate: I was taught that puce is the color of cockroaches (the big ugly dark ones) and that taupe is the color of elephants.

- MariaTeresa

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As I have a mixture of Irish, Russian, and German (among others), I can safely say that I don't know whether to be amused, insulted, or just plain confused by this awful excuse for a cake.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCyberjar88

Um, okay, uncensored version? I'm asking ...

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMollyMcB

Heh. You said Pole. Heh. Then you said butt.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

If the Wreckorator who made that cake had attempted to translate the Polish national anthem into English, it would have looked something like this:

Poland isnt' dead yet
B/cause were still allive
We'll get back what they took
With swords (or maybe carrot riding mohawk babies...)

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

One question, unrelated to cake- If people from Poland are called Poles then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie Miller

Half read, half white, very simple and they could not even do that correctly?

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love the blog and I love these commentators - funny, funny!

W V - "curing" There's no curing a wrecked cake.

September 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIlze

That cake is just.. sad. Why decorate it with the color of poo?? I would never even go near it let alone eat that lol.

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Ämma said...

What's so bad about being swedish?!
BORK >:(

Oh Ämma, you took the words right out of my mouth. I'm not Swedish or Polish by the way. At least I don't think I am. It's hard to tell cause I'm adopted, but I seem to be some kind of Scottish person. Och! :D

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWolverine Girl

I have to agree! How can they do such a misstake on one of the worlds easiest flags!? I mean what can they do!? Turn it up side down and make it to Monacos!?

And then I´m wondering the same thing as Ämma! What´s so ashameful about being swedish!?

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I hope this doesn't post twice, because the first time I got an error. So here goes try number two.

I'm Polish on my father's side, and can't believe it took this post to realize that I had no idea how the Polish national anthem went or even sounded like. So I looked it up, got sidetracked by a video of a five year old Polish girl singing it completely (and adorably) wrong, and well, thanks to Cakewrecks that's how my morning went :)

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersnuzzle

@anonymous at 10:56... no, that would be Indonesia :)

PS my family's from Poland too, originally (both sides). OK, today it's western Ukraine, and for a while it was Russia, but at the time they left for North America, it was still Poland. It really is impressive where all the readers here are from :)

September 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Totally relate! Brilliant post (as always).

October 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVee

Shamefull Sweden? As a proud man of Swedish descent, I take great umbrage to this highly inflammatory and outrageous remark. Never shall I return to this website.

KIDDING! I'm made from 100% Aussie beef, so who knows what kind of genetics I've inherited.

Love the site, it's first in my Favorites list so it's always the first site I visit every day.

October 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterstitchgroover

One other way of wrecking (or re-purposing) a Polish flag cake would be to turn it upside down - then it would become an Indonesian flag cake - either that, or it would become a Polish distress signal, depending on which way you look at it... If you left the Polish flag the right way up it would become an Indonesian distress signal...

October 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Re: words which are pronounced differently when capitalized - see also job/Job (the dude in the Bible what had all those horrible things happen to him) and tangier/Tangier (the city in Morocco).

October 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i have to agree with charity do we know this is supposed to be a flag, much less the polish flag???

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Not the best it?! ;) xx

October 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

Excuse my geographical ignorance, but I thought Indonesia was the one with red and white?

October 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSamara

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