My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Project Wreckway

Cake expert, Tom Gann: "Pastry chefs, I am leaving you with five minutes to finish your cakes for this week's show. I'm egregiously consternated that some of you might not finish in time, but I am confident that you all have the Sturm und Drang to 'wow' me. Your desserts to this point have consistently been astrudently bralifiscent! So, make it work!"

{moments later}

Hilga Flan: "Designers, welcome to the runway. Your challenge this week was to design a cake where your only limit was your imagination. As you know, in baking, you're either thin or you're stout. Let's start the show."

Kelly: "I wanted my design to be whimsical and childlike, but still fashion forward."

Judge #1, Editor of Gourmet Cake Monthly, Mia Gonzales: "I don't get it. We wanted a high fashion cake, not an arts and craft project."

Judge #2, Founder of Cols Frosting, Daniel Cols: "Butterfly flotsam is SO last season."

Judge #3, Supermodel, Hilga Flan: "It's a hot mess."


Mikeal: "I'm not afraid of colour, and I love to stand out."

Mia: "Mikeal, I don't even know where to begin. I'm really beginning to question your taste level."

Daniel: "I agree with Mia; this is just painful to look at. There's way too much going on! The swirls... the ribbons... the flowers... the horses... the swirls... pick a theme and GO WITH IT!"

Hilga: "It's a hot mess."


Lindsay: "I love couture, so I wanted to keep my design elegant and chic."

Mia: "Lindsay, it's like you've never decorated a cake before in your life. This is... It's just... I am speechless."

Daniel: "I'm really not getting it. Is any of this even edible? If this is couture, get me out of the cake business, NOW."

Hilga: "It's a hot mess."


Frederick: "My design was inspired by my mother. She was a florist."

Mia: "More like, she was a BORIST. What a snoozefest."

Daniel: "I see how it was inspired by your mother. It's like, mother of the bride meets the spray paint department at K-Mart. And it's so matronly! What's with the stripes? I... I just don't get it."

Hilga: "I kind of like this one. It's like it's had a kiss from a rose."

Daniel: "Ugh... you would like this one."


Santiago: "I spent last summer in China, and it inspired me."

Mia: "Santiago, this is outstanding. I would take this cake to a party right now."

Daniel: "I agree. This is just stunning. I think the dragon is now, it's modern, it's hip. The kiwis and cherries are what's happening in cake decorating... it's really well thought out. Bravo."

Hilga: "Santiago, it's really hot. You're this week's winner! Congratulations! You will have immunity in next week's challenge, where you will all have 20 minutes to decorate a wedding cake while hog-tied and blindfolded."

Chasity B., Sue M., Alex N., Shawn B., Shana C., I recommend that you accessorize your designs thoughtfully; perhaps by adding some piping and a few more layers? (Get it? Cause there are layers and piping in both cake and clothes?) Seriously, make it work.

« The Cake Wrecks Phenomenon | Main | Move Over, Lunchables »

Reader Comments (92)

ok, as a huge fan of PR, this post rocks!!!

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter:::b r a n d i:::

:o) :o) :o) :o)

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVeRaY

OK, that is superb. Nailed it. Just...awesome sauce.

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLKT

It takes a lot for the online world to make me laugh out loud, but this site makes it happen it so often.....props to Number 1 for nailing the judges!

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClara J.

what about andre?

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlisa aka sambycat

HAHAHAHAHA!!! This so perfectly describes last season!

Your blog has won immunity (no, really, that's a compliment).

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaura

Love this post so, so much. As a lover of your blog and PR it was the perfect blend of awesomeness.

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

I looove the Merry-Go-Round cake. I'm going to go make my own right now! (If I could make roses like that I'd do it all day). But the one underneath it is such a complete wreck that I howled. That's cake? I thought it was the pile decorators made at the end of the table, of stuff that didn't work.

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

Thats so funny! I didn't eve know what any of those were. If I was a judge they would all be gone. I can even do better than that! :) haha

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMicalah

Oy, I haven't been on this blog in a WHILE. I'm glad to see your still at making great content.
I like it when you do scripts like this even though I'm sure there a bit more work.

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFran

Making me gladder and gladder I'm always busy on Thursday nights. I watched one season of Project Runoff and decided I'd stick to sweatpants and t-shirts for all my fashion needs.

Luckily I like cake too much to give it up....

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOldish Lady

why are there boobs on Daniel's cake?

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

When I first saw the name Tom Gann, I immediately thought of Paul McGann. (For all you non-Doctor Who geeks out there, he played the Doctor for precisely 1 episode in 1996.)


January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Lindsay's cake looks like it has two of those mucous people from the Mucinex commercials.

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa H.

Oh it is WRONG how much I enjoyed this post. It was SPOT ON.

I went to Mood last week to go fabric shopping and they have "Thank you Mood" tee shirts. But it didn't come with Tim Gunn so I wasn't interested. I adore that man. My mom ran into him grocery shopping in perfectly pressed linen pants. How adorable is he?

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

LOVE IT!!! Thanks, as always, for the laugh!

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTía Hillary

@Aviatrix and @BadKarma-- you too can have roses like on the carousel! Those look suspiciously like the pre-made roses for sale at Bulk Barn (a Canadian bulk food store-- aka heaven for bakers and candy-eaters). In fact, looks like they bought them in every colour...

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

OMG I particularly loved the "kiss from a rose" ---> Seal ---> Heidi Klum thing there :)

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

The PR-inspired commentary on this post was top notch. I was inspired to comment - good work!

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdearheart

I kinda like the second cake, if it didn't look like it was covered in plastic wrap and didn't have ribbons. I don't like shininess on cakes. It's just wrong.

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous


This post is IN. The name choices and general parody was perfect (and eerily accurate, despite being parody...).

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

How fitting that about half an hour ago I started my own Project Runway marathon and then I read this! (fitting... clothes... get it??? haha...)

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

OMG those hurt my eyes

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

(stands and applauds wildly)

-Barbara Anne

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The commentary is awesome!

#1 The new turntable arrived! At last I can finish "Butterflies in a confetti tornado."

#2 The blue horse on the left would actually be traveling sideways, which would be a real treat for anyone subject to motion sickness. That pretty much applies to the whole wreck, come to think of it.

#3 Why is there more than one of these conglomerations? Why does the one in the foreground have such a huge candle? Did Sandra Lee open a 'bakery'? [Nooooo!]

#5 It took me three tries to find the head of the dragon, the ears of which are disturbingly 'realistic' in a way that has nothing to do with ears. Regarding the most obvious details, I'm pretty sure dragons don't have mammary glands, so what are those supposed to be? (For a while there, I thought it was going to be 2011's first 'boobie EPCOT'.)

Have the dragons stopped screaming yet, @Bill's Bayou?

January 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

a kiss from a rose...oh you're killin' me!! Too funny!

January 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Lol I have never laughed so hard as when I looked at that so called dragon cake. It looks like it has boobs mixed in with weird frosting junk thrown in. Man what are they thinking when they make these?? All I see is a bunch of colors thrown on the cake just for the heck of it.

January 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Wow nice cake..

January 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmazing Videos

I've never seen Project Runway, and now I know I never will. I can't even tell what that third cake is (other than chic and elegant, I mean)--what IS all that??? And the last cake with the "dragon" (or whatever) wrapped around . . .haystacks? Er, something? But I won't disagree with the judges because they MUST all have special knowledge and skills or else they wouldn't be on television. Right? I mean, what do the rest of us know? :)

January 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I've never watched Project Runway, and I still found this post hilarious.

January 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I had to read through the comments just to see what TV show you were referencing!

And to prove what a nerd I am, Sturm and Drang are also the names of Talon Karrde's pet vornskrs in the Thrawn trilogy by Timothy Zahn.

January 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Anyone watch the cartoon Dragon-Ball Z as a kid, all I could think of when I saw the last cake was that cartoon, Dragon BALLS, I mean Dragon Ball Z

January 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJeffrey Poulin


Oh man, I can't stop laughing! I love it love it love it!

January 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSariah

I kept squinting to find the dragon and then I realized it wasn't a dual poop exhaust pipe with a yello trail it was a dragon. Well done!

January 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Okay, it's a bit busy, but I can't lie; I love the dragon one. I think it rocks.

January 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaryann

That light green icing on the third cake is actually Chinese characters. It just doesn't looks like much because its all gloopy. But yes, those are actually words. Good post as always, soo funny.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCecile

Am I the only one to have noticed that the horses on the merry go round cake are heading for a collision?

Instead of all facing the same way, half are one, half are the other. As if poised for deadly, pink battle.

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy G

# 3 the green squiggles are in Chinese :) I think the first one is "ji" *lucky* and the last 2 characters mean "fu" *luck*. They are lucky symbols, perhaps not starting off quite so lucky this time around! You will see tons of "fu's" (usually upside down) in windows around China at the moment preparing for Chinese New Year ...

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChrissie

good blog

January 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRaj

Ok, am I the only one who saw icing-glob versions of Adam & Jamie from "Mythbusters" on the third cake?

January 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMissG

GRRRRR!!!!! U ruined my fav tv show! JK I <3 Project Runway but I love cake wrecks soooooooooooo much more!!!

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterA 11 year old girl

The first one...wat.

October 19, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteryomomma

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