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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jan202011

A Day In The Life

Jen and I are often asked what it's like to be "professional" bloggers. How do we spend our days? Do we have a swimming pool filled with gold coins? Are there fantastic parties and gourmet ketchups? The answer to all these questions is yes. Jen even has a green dress. (But not a real green dress. That's cruel.)

That doesn't mean it's all fun and games, though. Sometimes we take naps.

In fact, I think I'll keep a diary for a day, just so you can see firsthand the "glorious life" of the "Professional Blogger." Enjoy!

------------------------------------------

1:00 pm - Woke up to cats hammering on door and yowling. Note to self: get thicker door. Also, new cats.

"Mrow?"

1:35 pm - Cats' yowls going super sonic. Ear plugs ineffective. Time for the Super Soaker.

"Mruh Mroh."

2:10 pm - Jen's awake. Cats are hiding. I ask in my best Kirk impression (complete with hand gestures), "JEN! Are... you... readytobe... funny? We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill!"

Jen:

Note to self: Avoid Kirk impressions before Jen's fully awake.

3:45 pm - Checked on Jen in the office. She has 27 browser tabs open and is humming "Loathing." So far, so good.

5:20 pm - Jen comes out of her office to reheat some "breakfast."

Pizza and Maalox: breakfast of champions.

7:20 pm - A yell from the office: "Oy! What're some puns for 'lactating?'"

7:32 pm - Final tally: Milking it, so cheesy, really sucks, staying abreast of the whole situation, whipped into a frenzy, creamy complexion, skim off the top, nipped a pair of area oreos

8:15 pm - Maniacal laughter coming from office.

8:21 pm
- Loud sobs coming from office.

8:30 pm
- Colorful swearing coming from office. Huh. Rapid mood swings may indicate low blood sugar. I bring Jen a cookie.

Effect is immediate. "Ohh, and also 'eat, drink, and be dairy!'"

10:45 pm - Heading to McDonald's for lunch.

Thank goodness we're not food bloggers. (Oh. Wait...)

12:20 am- Break time. Watching Castle with Jen.

*snorfle*

2:15 am- Jen heads back to the office. I'm off to bed.

(This was supposed to say "Just because." Seriously.)

3:35 am - Woken by a loud yell. Rushed out to find Jen staring horror-struck at a new e-mail:

"Why? WHY?!?"

4:04 am - Convinced Jen to come to bed. She lies in the dark, muttering, "Can't sleep. Lobster in blond wig will eat me."

I think it's going to be another long night.



Thanks to Lyle, James, Alistair, Carissa, Amanda M., Helen W., Elizabeth M., Kristin S., Eilen, Tyler O., Dana S., & Beatrice Y., for helping us avoid "real" jobs. Now: nap time!

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  • Response
    Hi, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam remarks? If so how do you stop it, any plugin or anything you can advise? I get so much lately it's driving me insane ...

Reader Comments (120)

Lobsters in blond wigs; singing "Happy Birthday, Mr. President", ala Marilyn Monroe; will now haunt my dreams forevermore. Thanks.

January 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

LOVE the Bare-naked Ladies reference. The lobster cake was just... just... O.o

January 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermsbarrows

mmm, dijon ketchup....all the finest gourmet ketchups money can buy. =)

January 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertangeria

Love the BNL reference!

January 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

The pizza one is too hilarious!

January 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKat

The pink garland thing wrapped around the little tree in the background of that frightening lobster cake kind of cracked me up, plus the guy with the walrus mustache looking ocnfusedly at that lovely cake and decor.

January 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGooseberryfool

Oh great, now I'm going to have "Loathing" stuck in my head. (Alternate earworm for this post: Rock Lobster)

Just Bed is maybe a shirt candidate? ;)

Off to find my Wicked soundtrack...

January 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

the lobster in a blond wig in all her glory holding i duuno what in her claw !!! would love to know the story behind that. speaking of behind, there are some yummy looking puff pastries behind the lobster...

January 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertiny purple elephant

You keep the same hours I do. Nice to know I'm not the only one. My relatives and friends keep trying to change me. Heck, I'm retired, no reason not to stay up all night and sleep during the day, right? right? Oh, hell.
~physicsmom

Edit: WV = forist; those lobsters were frolicking in the forist!

January 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Can you do a day in the life of me next? Will involve lots of baby crying and cooking and stepping on toys that hurt like hell and occasional short stents of sleep. Just an idea! :-D

January 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeather D.

Well, duh! You've heard of wedding cakes, and groom's cakes - the lobster cake is obviously the mother-in-law cake!

January 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJess Parsons

As someone with a lobster, and fish, phobia ( Fun vocab words! Ostraconophobia and Ichthyophobia.) that Lobster cake was unbelievably frightening!

January 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSelky

Laughter and swearing followed by...loud cussing, I'm sure there's a medical condition with those symptoms...

January 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As the submitter of the "cat" in #1, that was SUPPOSED to be an easter bunny, according to the baker. To us, it looked like a beheaded goat with bloody horn stumps...my 1-year-old couldn't figure out why mommy was cackling like a loon while standing in the bakery

January 25, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLyle, James & Alistair

Great Scott! That last lobster cake made me reminisce about "Teenagers from Outer Space", a B-movie if ever there was one!

January 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDavid

I love the show Castle! And I love real castles too! But I do not love this cake. Not at all. haha, great job guys!

January 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren Luckie

really realy impresive cakes a bit like that contest a while ago its amazing what you can do with a bit flower and iceing sugger they must take ages to make

January 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkevin blumer

Reminds me of some twisted opera....

I thought the cake perhaps said "Guest Bed" maybe its like the mint on the pillow, except way messier.

March 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's not "Just Bed"

It was meant to say, "Just Wed".

:( doh.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBoo

Well, now if I had a million dollars is gonna be stuck in my head.
And why... Why must there be a CAKE with A LOBSTER IN A BLONDE WIG?!

June 7, 2014 | Unregistered Commenter-Unknown-

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