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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jan212011

Stairway to Heaven

I have to be honest: I've never really understood the whole wedding-cake-plastic-staircase thing. I mean, who first decided the wedding figurines might need to take a stroll down to one of the side cakes?

Not to mention this looks more like a video game level than a wedding cake.

"Ok, what you have to do is, hop over the leaf-shrooms, collect the heart rings, and then duke it out with the Moopa-Moosers down at the bottom. Oh, and watch out for the barrels."

Then, after providing this thoughtful pathway, the decorators go and make it completely inaccessible!

How are they supposed to get down there?

Or battle their way through all that foliage?

Granted, I can't think of a better place to put your plastic deer collection.

Of course, it goes without saying that all this extra height means you have to put a clear plastic light-up fountain under the cake. (Don't bother questioning it. You just have to.)

Mmm. Drippy.

You know what, though? These cakes still don't have enough going on. What do you say in addition to the stairs, tiers, figurines, and light-up fountain, we cover everything in Louis Vuitton?


Ah, rampant materialism climbs to new heights. I like it.

But it's STILL not enough. Can we get a few dozen miniature bridal party dolls, a Barbie cake, a few bolts of tulle, and the Amazon rain forest in here now, guys?

No, no, don't take away the stairs, fountain, or multiple topper figurines; we need those.

***

All set? Alrighty, let's take a look.


YES!! BEHOLD MY CREATION!! AHAHAHAHAHAAA!

Hey, Anony M., Genevieve F., April L., Anony M., Marla B., & Elle J., you must admit: this thing is so gosh-darn tacky it's almost kind of awesome.

Or...not.

« Sunday Sweets: Fun Wedding Cakes | Main | A Day In The Life »

Reader Comments (162)

I do cakes a a small side business and have done a few wedding cakes (so far no wrecks) and I am SOOOO glad this trend seems to have faded. . . I have actually started a meeting with a couple telling them I do not do staircasse cakes!
So far it hasnt cost me job yet. They are so ugly!!
- Char

January 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChar

A Louis Vuitton wedding cake? Clearly the bride and groom both have baggage! *Badum Chick!*

January 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSelky

AHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY EYES!!!! WHAT'S UP WITH THE BARBIE CAKE??

January 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLetitia

I didn't get the whole stairs and fountains thing, so I googled it, and the first result it came up with said this...
"Wedding cakes with fountains and stairs provide an elegant twist on more traditional models and effectively symbolize the journey on which an engaged couple is about to embark. They may not be the most common or popular cakes seen at weddings, but their potential to merge with classic designs make them a worthy style for couples to consider. "
I think the icing sugar has gone to the writer's head!
An old schoolmate recently got married and had one of these cakes, which I still don't understand... Why why why when there's so many beautiful cakes out there, would you choose a monstrosity like that?

WV : adocti ... I think I'm gonna need to see adocti about all these stair & fountain cakes that I'm having nightmares about...

January 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRita

My future mother-in-law wanted to make me a cake exactly like all of these. She made staircase fountain cakes for her daughter's wedding. I would cry.

January 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The third cake would look ok w/o the foliage, like just have the flowers.

The fourth cake made me laugh out loud. I'd never think of putting deer on a wedding cake.

On the fifth one, maybe red wasn't such a good idea for a fountain. Bout the same as using yellow.

January 25, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterali

ok, i might be crazy, why most ppl say the cakes are crazy or tacky? Actually i love them

January 27, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterwedding cake toppers

The 1st one looks just like a wedding cake my uncle had for his wedding. I am 95 percent sure it is the same cake. Add to that the cheesy wood paneling that looks just like the reception area of said wedding. What a small world!! Add to the fact that I was 13 when said wedding took place, and during my first marriage had something similar, but in teal and white. (Hangs my head in Shame)

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

If you think these are bad, you evidently haven't seen My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, yet. With the Barbie dolls stuck in the cakes and the twinkling rope lights squiggled all through them...oy!!!

July 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHelen Tarnation

The first cake looks like a skeleton with outstretched arms, and the last cake has apparently attacked the random dude in the corner with homicidal vine tendrils of doom

October 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKitty-Wolf

And then there are the ones that have many figures representing bridesmaids and groomsmen going up and down the stairs ....yeeesh

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterL

So, that last caption on that last horror <shudder> reminded me instantly of the Oingo Boingo song "Weird Science". Anyone else get that moment? I feel that actually a lot of these weirder wrecreation posts just *need* to be done to the "Weird Science" song.

I mean, how perfect are the lyrics? (Excerpts here):
"From my heart and from my hand,
why don't people understand
my intentions?
Weird, oooh!
Weird science!
Plastic tubes and pots and pans
Bits n pieces
and the magic from the hand
we're makin'
Weird science! Oooh!
...
Something like a recipe
bits n pieces and
bits n pieces and
My creation...is it real?
It's my creation...I do not know
No hesitation -- no heart of gold
Just flesh and blood (replace with "cake and icing"?)
I do not know
From my heart and from my hand
Why don't people understand
my intentions?"

August 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterH. Richards

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