My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Oh My Stars!

As I'm sure you've all heard, there was a bit of a dust-up recently over whether or not our astrology signs have changed. Betrayal, bewilderment, boredom...there was a veritable gamut of emotions running wild.

Fortunately, CNN has since assured the world that my not being a Taurus is total bull. Whew! However, just for fun, let's take a look at these "new" signs and how they might have changed our lives forever.


Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16
Capricorns are known to be obedient and dedicated. If you ask a Capricorn to do something, you can be sure it is going to get done...


Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11
Aquarius is represented by water, which fits this sign's creative, "free flow" personality.

"That'll be $28.95, please."

Pisces: March 11- April 18
Pisces is an emotional yet generous sign. These selfless individuals will give until it hurts.

Or until they run out of room.

Aries: April 18 - May 13
Much like their symbol the ram, Aries are fearless creatures. They forge boldly ahead, letting no man, beast...

...or periwinkle border stand in their way.

Taurus: May 13- June 21
Taurus is a sign that never backs down. This stubborn bull will stand her ground through all of life's challenges.

"Look, the writing on the order form says 'Blinday.' END OF STORY."

Gemini: June 21 - July 20
Gemini is often of two minds, waiting to make a choice until the very last minute.

When it's over she'll know if she can write "happy" or not.

Cancer: July 20 - Aug. 10
Cancers are rooted in the past, home and hearth. You can trust a Cancer to feed you, mother you, clean you, feed you, love you...

...and feed you.

And then maybe eat you.

Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16
Leos are very ambitious - shooting for the stars, taking on large projects, and sometimes getting in over their heads.

Or King Tut's, as the case may be.

Virgo: Sept. 16 - Oct. 30
You can always count on the reliable Virgo to deliver steady, consistent results.

This is more of a virtue if they know how to spell.

Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23
Libra has a clear sense of right and wrong, and is always a fair and impartial judge. However, Libra also craves communication and loves an opportunity to prove her intelligence.

Yes, thank you, Libra.

Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29
Sharp-shooter Scorpio has no problem telling it like it is. Scorpio is honest, direct, and lays everything out in black and white.

Scorpio is usually free most Saturday nights.

Sagittarius: Dec. 17- Jan. 20
Nothing can slow down a carefree Sagittarius. Her spontaneity and drive keep things fun and interesting:

...and also covered in SPRINKLES!!! Wheeee!

Wreckiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17
Wreckiuchus likes to hide in plain sight, often going years before revealing himself to those closest to him.
Some skeptics say Wreckiuchus doesn't actually exist, but if you cross your eyes and stare really hard, we think you'll get the message.

The message being that you look pretty silly with your eyes crossed, of course.

Thanks to Kailee M., Sarah C., Maggie B., Jinglei, Aaron, Jordan F., Niloufer R., Anony M., Heather & Mikki, Katie O., Elizabeth, Stina, & Valerie M., who should all look before they leap, take advantage of sudden windfalls, and explore new opportunities today. And then maybe buy their favorite bloggers a snack. (We like Bugles.)

« Open Mouth, Insert... Shoe? | Main | Sunday Sweets: So Stinkin' Cute »

Reader Comments (80)

As a Sagittarius, I totally agree with the sprinkle cake! Mounds of sprinkles make me go squee inside! Even if I fear my teeth hurting from all the sugar after actually eating a overly-sprinkleful cake

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJabby

Hey Jen and John!
I live in England with my husband and was just channel surfing a few minutes ago when I caught some talk show with Kate Hudson (whom I love!) laughing over something. I paused briefly to see what it was, and Lo and Behold they were talking about the cake wrecks book! They showed at least 5 or 6 cake pictures including the classic Carrot Jockeys. Maybe you knew, but in case you didn't it's called the Graham Norton show, and all three guests, as well as the host himself were raving about it! At the end, Kate even asked if she could keep it! =)
I was so excited that they liked it, and it's not even my book, lol! Just thought i'd let you know!
Hope you're having a great night.
Kind Regards,

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKIrstie

This relates to yesterday's Sunday sweets, Cute Cthhulu cake. Reminded me of this youtube video

If that doesnt link, just search for "Lil' Cthulu"

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"And then maybe eat you"
HA!! Loved it :D

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

*gag* no Bugles! Pirates Booty is the way to go. Or Pop chips Barbecue flavor.
The sprinkle cake was flippin awesome.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay

Best entry yet. Oh my gosh, that made me laugh SO hard.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

@Kerry -- LOL! I was going to go for something like "Dune: The Early Years," but wasn't sure I had the right story; I was thinking of that movie where humans have 'evolved' into something resembling giant worms that float just above the ground (yes, there really is such a story; it wasn't a dream). Anyway, I should have been thinking 'Python' instead. That kid definitely needs a bucket.

By the way, Bugles rule. But not when jammed into the top of a cupcake.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

My August 24th birthday will always be Virgo...King Tut's head be damned!

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Emailed the Scorpio cake to a friend who is celebrating her 52nd birthday today. She email back "LOL". Of course, she was out of town today and couldn't slash my tires.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Okay, I know I'm being annoying, but you know a "gamut" is something that you run, not somthing that runs, right?

However, the mix up lead to this sill phrase running around in my head. "In Solviet Russia, gamut runs you."
You have to do it in your worst Russian accent, it's better that way.

January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

"When it's over she'll know if she can write "happy" or not."

yes, peed on myself laughing. thanks ever so much.

-Barbara Anne

February 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hmm so if I just toss a gazillion sprinkles on a cake it will turn out beautiful? Lol love the Taurus horoscope. Fitting since I am one. And yup I would just dare anyone to try and say I made the cake wrong. Hilarious cakes today.

February 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Wowee wow. My guess is this was a hard entry to put together, but SO worth it. Thanks for the yuks, as always!

February 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarrietastic

Firstly, I LOVE your blog and also LOVE all your charity work and initiatives that you do.

I had such a fun time laughing at this post, was really great, Thank You!!

February 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFatima

Awesome! I'm a wreckiuchus! (wreck for short?)

February 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenters

Good god these cakes-the mind boggles O_o, as for the astrology signs-they are crap, and they always have been

February 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Didn't like it the Aquarius one D:

first of all it's a air sign, not a water sing..

All the others are gr8, though!

(sorry about the crappy english, brazilian girl here)

February 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBell

Maybe the "Octuber" cake was for the 8-potato version of the Octomom?

February 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRepubAnon

Hilarious post, thanks a lot!

Since I'm Norwegian, I thought, I'd comment on the cancer cake. (Now, there's two words I never expected to see together!) Petter is a Norwegian name, it's got the same root as Peter (as some commenters cleverly observed), the greek name Petros.

The baby is probably not born on 7th feb., though, as Norwegians (silly people!) don't normally celebrate birth with cake. The date on the cake is more likely to be his baptism day.

February 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNorwegian

#1: I don't know if the wreckerator is Kailee, or the birthday recipient. Was the order form Write "Happy Birthday" Kailee!! Or write "Happy Birthday Kailee"!! since there are no quotes on the cake, I'm assuming that's where all the trouble started...come to think of it, maybe that's why there's quotes on cakes in the first place. someone put the instructions in quotes and wreckerators transcribe exactly what they see, misspellings, bad handwriting and all perhaps.

*squints* wait, there ARE quotes on the cake! smooshed in with all the lovely handwriting. I think Kailee is the wreckerator and the double quotes exclamation points were from her angry boss.

#2: the bakery trainee discovers the airbrush gun. slap an Ariel or Nemo figurine on there and voila!

#3: what did they do, clean out the toybox? How do Lightning McQueen, Spiderman, the Hulk, trucks, motorocyles and Snow White with dwarfs et al. belong on the same cake??

#4: classic. curling ribbon, a crooked border, a misaligned Congratulations crawling over the border. at least it's spelled right.

#5: is this foreshadowing of the vajazzled vajajay in the 2/1/11 post? Happy "Blingday" perhaps? are they having a Tajazzle party?

#6: Birthday, Mother's Day, eh. An argument can be made that someone's birthday is the day that made their mother a mother (officially). but why isn't it "happy"?

#7: OMG call DYFS! someone is overfeeding that kid! it's grown to monstrous proportions! (and why am I know thinking of "Fat Bastard?")

#8: looks like something from my first grader's art project during the Egypt segment.

#9: aha! this bakery must be near an office zone for two Octuber birthday cakes to be ordered.'s the same office, two years in a row, with the same clueless wreckerator who never learned to spell. or look at a calendar. how. sad. I like the swirls.

#10: Captain Obvious strikes again! or maybe it's Not-So-Obvious that's a groom's cake. I mean, where's the fish? the decapitated deer head? the car? a Groom's Cake for the groom with no hobbies. or a bridezilla's new spouse who doesn't want to give him anything "tacky" for her big day

#11 mesmerizes me with those swirls. it's like an insulting crystal ball or something.

#12: I wonder how that's spelled. can't tell under the sprinkles.

#13: is that the zodiac for the 13th constellation rejected by the Babylonians? The irony as the wreckerator attacks the cake with an airbrush gun spelling "happy"

February 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As an astrologist I thought I'd comment. I was surprised that no one pointed this out yet, but Aquarius isn't represented by water. Aquarius is an air sign. The symbol is called "The water bearer" but its represented by air.
Also, the astrology change thing is nonsense. I actually feel super sorry for the poor astronomer because his words were taken out of context. What he was trying to explain was that it used to be when you looked up in the sky during the time of Libra you would see the libra constalation. Because of the change of the earths movement away from the constelations this means that now you won't see libra when you look up. What he meant was that astrologers always say things like "This is the time of the Sagitarius, during this time of year you see the archer in the sky" etc. which is now incorrect. Japanese astrologists have always adjusted their charts to this movement, however all other astrologist don't because of the placement of the other planets when you were born.
Kinda confusing, but anyways....
Great post!

February 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSelky

i think your dates are wrong. my burthday is at the end of march and im an aries

February 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Meh. I'm still a Pisces, no matter what rubbish they come up with. ;-) Sun, moon, AND rising sign, no less (I was born during a total solar eclipse). I wouldn't wreck a cake that badly though (I do actually have enough self-awareness to understand that I have no decorating ability whatsoever. ;-) ).

February 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterViolaNut

this was AWESOME!!! And as far as I am concerned, I am far too Aquarian to change now... combine that with my Chinese Animal the dragon, and well, you have a recipe for a potential wreckorator...

February 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterB-Jo

I'm a Sagittarius and I WANT SPRINKLES!

I also manage to be that new sign that no-one's heard of. Yay for awesome birth-dates.

February 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRedHead

Thanks, guys! I needed a good laugh and was browsing what I've missed.

... :D

February 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDoris Sudduth

I think you really nailed the Scorpio personality. I am flattered.

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I would so buy the Scorpio cake. Hilarious!

February 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBethanyB

I am also sad that the Scorpio cake has 10 o's instead of 8. That would've eaaaaaaaasily made it one of the most amazing wrecks!

So worry not, other anon, for you are not alone in your disappointment.

March 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm a Virgo and i have perfect spelling...

April 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterincognito lemons

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>