My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


Ahh, M&Ms. Am I right? Except the green ones really have no effect on me, so that's totally false advertising right there. Well, unless bloating counts. (No? Then, no.)

So anyway, what could be better than M&Ms on cake? And it's so easy! Just sprinkle a few tastefully here and there, and...


Yeah, well. I'd still eat it.

Or, if you're really ambitious, you could just cover the whole cake with 'em:

You missed a few spots.

Or, let's say you want the cake to scream "M&Ms!" only without using any:

"Rawr! We are the dread pirate M&Ms!"

Red: "Really? I thought we were zombie dinosaurs."

Blue: "Ug. Judging by this thing on my head I'd say we're pigeon targets."

And for you master bakers, why not try a beautifully sculpted, full size M&M guy?

Maybe try a recipe with a little less collagen, though.

And finally, your moment of migraine-inducing zen:

Can't read it?

The trick is to half cross your eyes, tilt your head at a precise 42 degree angle to the right, and then have a friend hit you soundly across the face with a stapler.

Or just keep staring. You'll feel the same either way in about five minutes.

Kerum S., Janet, Marcus J., John D., & Jessica S., not that stapler. That's my stapler. Don't touch my stapler.

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Reader Comments (125)

Why does it say "BABY in the USA"? Also, those m&ms totally look like creepy body builders.

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterValerya Baker

Pretty sure the last one is a ransom note. They could have been more specific, though.

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGreen

The first one kind of looks a Mardi Gras parade float from the back. Mardi Gras season started yesterday.

The last one hurts my eyes and I can't make sense of it, OW.

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

I see "Baby Oba." Makes as much sense as "Baby in the USA." Neither make any sense.


January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Using the (in this case, vertigo-inducing) click-to-enlarge feature, it does say... well, you know.

This one is hardly worth going to the shelter over, except that *everyone* will be bringing M&Ms.

Maybe the wreckerator said, "This makes no sense, even to me -- I think I'll disguise it as much as possible."

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

The last cake, I think it says BE JUST.

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHarald Korneliussen

What is "baby in the USA"? lol

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Beaudoins

Don't let our legislators see the "Baby in the USA" cake. They'll take it as further proof of the immigrant anchor baby conspiracy.

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Those are just wrong.

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary

I think the sculpted yellow one is actually a Vogon dressing up as a yellow M&M. Quick! Pass the earplugs, he looks as if he might begin reciting poetry at any moment.

"This poem is entitled "BABY in the USA..."

oops. too late.
word verification: batis
Listening to Vogon poetry will make anyone completely batis.k

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKittyKat

I would really like to know why it looks like Yellow just filleted a salmon....No I wouldn't. Yikes.

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertarichuck

I am crying I am laughing so hard! This is hilarious and I love your commentary. Just found your blog so I am going to have to check out your other posts. Thanks for making me laugh!

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLisa@ButteryBooks

The yellow m & m reminds me of a yellow, evil version of Grimace.

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I read the last one as


guess it is my mind filling it what I'd say if I were going to have a baby shower. ;-)


January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMiss B. Haven

Maybe that last cake was for an illegal alien celebrating the birth of her anchor baby. With about two pounds of M&Ms and turd-brown icing. Which is oddly appropriate, overall.

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

That first one looks kind of like my creations at make-your-own-sundae night....

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

The last one was sent to someone who needed a secret way to get a green card?

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHerouth

The last one looks like one of those tests to determine whether you're color blind.... which I'm apparently failing.

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yum. M&Ms on a cake. I'd eat it. :)

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTara

Took me three times of scrolling through all the cakes, to finally realize that the last one reads "Baby to be".

Which I guess kind of makes sense?.. aside from, well... the cake. The

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCrazygirl

What the heck is peanut holding?

Love the Princess Bride reference!

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

M&M Steroid-Zombies......Runnnn!

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStar

Is that first cake vomiting M&Ms? Who thought that was a good idea?

The fourth cake looks like he's just done something clever and dastardly, possibly relating to that rock he's got on a leash.

I thought the last cake said "Baby Loses," which can't possibly mean anything good, so I'm much happier about "Baby in the USA."

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteremily michelle

Love the Princess Bride reference!

But check your affect/effect. :-)
The green M&Ms don't A-ffect you (verb), or, put another way, they have no E-ffect on you (noun).

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Good reference to The Princess Bride.

I knew I liked this blog for a good reason! :)

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCharlene

My barely-verbal two-year-old spotted the M&M Guy sculpture and had two things to say about it:



January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWhozat

Stapler!! Bwahahaaa! Ok, I'm okay now.

I got BABY out of the last one, but no clue what comes after... even after the stapler.

Personally, I like the one that's rolled in m&m's. I'd serve it to my hubby soon as I added some more to fill in the gaps.

Zombies -- yes... or pigeon targets! lol

Dang it, usually you help me avoid the snacks, today -- I just want to run out and find a bag of m&m's!! Curse you, candy covered chocolate!!


January 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermladybright

Everyone's so obsessed about "Baby in the USA" that no one noticed the second cake says "Happy Bithday." Seems like there might have been an "r" in there but if there is it's covered by the voluminous amount of candy.

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterrubian77

that last one is definitely a load of Pollocks

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBook Woman

I'm not sure if this is because of reverse psychology, or because I've given up sugar for the new year, but I REALLY want mnm's now :(

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermybakingempire

Cake #2: the R is so embarrased its hiding!

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's like a bunch of college boys got baked and decorated a bunch of cakes! Who buys that crap?!

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commentery

It's sad but I would still totally eat all of those cakes.

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen


I know that whenever If I'm not having a great day and I see the cake wreck post on my FB, I'm gonna feel just a little bit better. Thanks for making me laugh. Now if I could just eat the cake too!

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

These cakes remind me of when I bought a big bag of M&Ms and let my daughters decorate a cake I made...although I'm pretty sure my 3 and 5 year old girls did a much, much better job.

But I must add a nice chocolate cake covered in icing and M& good!

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeyna

I, for one, fully support these wrecks. IMHO there is absolutely no better way to improve a cake than by adding pounds and pounds of M&Ms.

Mmmm. I LOVE M&Ms. But you figured that out already! :)

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

I like M&Ms and still do.

The first one has me perplexed. What is it supposed to be? I see a sea-shell covered toilet tank attached to either a reeeaaallly long toilet bowl or a bed. I see a party hat or cup with M&Ms spewing from it. Either ribbon or fake hair from the toilet tank to the party hat. Could there be a Rapunzel doll around somewhere? Is that candle-wax or blood? This is "gourmet"?

Not bad. Yes they missed a spot, but would any 3 YO really care (unless that was their piece). Could mom have added a bag of M&Ms after she bought the cake?

*snort* I'm Hans, and I'm Frans and we're here to pump you up! Raaaaaarrrrr!

Heck with the botox-injected lips - what is the rest of the cake? It looks like he's got a leash/whip/cord attached to something else! What is it!!!!!

At first all I saw was Baby, but after the comments, I do see
In the
Gee. How, ummm, patriotic. I agree: it's either a magic-eye picture or some of those bizzare word verifications. And *ow* now my head hurts.

wv: brume: I'd like to sweep these wrecks under the rug with a brume.

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I


Bwoops. My fault. I always screw that up. From now on, I'm just gonna put affect/effect when I'm unsure. That way, I'll always be right!

*tapping head*

And that, my friends, is why I was the president of Phi Beta Kappa.

Ah thank you. Thankyouverymuch.


January 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

LOL Rubian77 and Anony@3:33

The Dread Pirate Robert M&Ms stole the Rrrrrrr from the Happy Bithday cake! :-P

And after looking at the last one a little longer, the magic-eye picture is a stapler!!!!

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

I think that last one says "Baby Joyce."
I like Baby in the USA better.

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermarshatrue

The last one, after reading the comments and going back to it, says, "Baby I'm yours" With the letters going all uppey- downy.
By the way, wv: dists'
Dists the way we do it baby!

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Y'know I've spent the last couple of weeks working a temp job which requires me to interpret high school students hand-written email addresses for 7 hours a day, and despite this experience I can't read that last one.

Obviously the person who lettered that last cake did not attend high school. It might be Baby In USA, or BARN in USA or something else entirely.

WV: vuzcxgu -- what that first cake may be saying as if barfs M&Ms.

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOldish Lady

M&M guy looks like he's not wearing any pants.

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Look at all the "cakes" in the first picture: the un-iced cake with bonbons and antenae, the tart with the canned fruit, the cupcake with the thing that looks like a cigarette...

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Gourmet? 2 pounds of M&Ms and twice as many pounds of greasy white goo apparently turns the Bakery Department at the "Piggly-Wiggly" into "The Culinary Institute of America".
(=Gore? Meh.)
WV: mifided: I was so mifided when I picked up my M&M cake from the bakery, and saw that the M&Ms were actually the generic, no-name candy coated cocoa-flavored waxy crap.

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVickie

@ Elizabeth C.- You dumb bastard! That's not a schooner, it's a sailboat!

Anywho, as someone who has a compulsion to avoid eating blue M&Ms, I would not go anywhere near these cakes. Too many blues. bleh. Well, okay, maybe the yellow sculpture guy, but only if I can have his lady lips.

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterthesacredandtheprofane

Oh, the colors! I just... [sob]...
Is that a salmon?! I totally think it's a salmon!
And 'Baby in the USA' -- what does it all mean?!?!?!?

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I agree with some of the others. "Baby in the USA." I can only hope to be awesome enough to understand that someday.

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJason

My 3YO son was walking by as I scrolled past the 3rd cake with the three M&M guys on it. He said, "whoah, mom what's that scarry M&M guy for?"

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That first one looks like it has wax dripped down the sides. Eew.

The last one... "Baby in the USA"? WTF would that even mean?

January 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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