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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Oct102011

Columbus Day!

Many years ago, some guy somewhere decided that Columbus Day and Canadian Thanksgiving should be on the same day. Did this guy take into account that this might be terribly inconvenient for future cake blogs? Of course not. However, since we did Canadian Thanksgiving cakes last year, I figured we'd do Columbus Day cakes this year. After all, we don't want to offend our Colombian readers.

Right then.
Bring on the Columbus Day cakes!

[furiously flipping through 17,000 cakes]
[pursing lips]
[steepling fingers]
[sighing resignedly]


Right then.
Bring on the Canadian Thanksgiving cakes!


Okay, that's weird. This one looks a lot like poo.

 

Huh. So does this one.

 

I'm definitely seeing a trend here.

 

In fact, if I didn't know better...

And so, in conclusion: all turkey cakes look like poo.

Happy Thanksgiving, Canada.

 

 Also, in the words of the famous Canadian actor, Jeff Goldblum*:

"Heeeelp meeeee!" [bzzzt bzzzt]

 

*Citation needed.


Thanks to Melissa R., Courtney B., Monica P.,  Aaron, Elaine M., Katey S., Kelli E., Marcy P., Paula W., and Vicky J. for letting us see a turkey fly.

« The Future Is Now, And It's Talking Smack | Main | Sunday Sweets: Fall Treats »

Reader Comments (86)

What the flock?

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

According to Wikipedia, Jeff Goldblum was born in West Homestead, Pennsylvania. Which apparently is part of the Pittsburgh metropolitan area (eight miles southeast).

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJanus

Here in South Dakota, we celebrate Native American Day instead of Columbus Day. Might make it easier to find cakes next year.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterD

Methinks the wreckarators sampled a bit to much Wild Turkey before trying to decorate todays offerings. Or perhaps, given the unhappy color and constancy problems with chocolate frosting, 'offalings'?

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTXRed

@Andrea ROTFL "on a steeek!" HILARIOUS!!!! Love me some poo... on a steeek!!!

OK now I'm laughing so hard I can barely type. You people are hysterical, both Jen and all the coments!

When oh when will bakers realize that brown tubular shapes are ALWAYS gonna look poo-like? sheesh.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLetitia

The only thing appetizing about this post is Jeff Goldblum. Mmmmmm...Jeff Goldblum. Who's with me? Anyone? *crickets chirping* Ok then, just me. (I really do love him. He's on my laminated list!)

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGemdandies

...have you guys ever thought of branching out with poocakes.com?

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterslartibartfast42

My husband said they all look like "turd"-keys. How did you miss that one?

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTriciamama

yeah, I love Jeff Goldblum but NOT in "The Fly." (thanks, John (thoJ) and that screaming you hear at about 2am will be me waking up from nightmares).

I am firmly against pun control as it would pile unnecessary stress on J & J(thoJ), who drop little nuggets of entertainment in the vast vessel called the internet to provide us with relief from our strained lives.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

I believe there is an error. Photo #6 is clearly not a turkey but a butterfly.

Made of poo.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChakolate

#6 looks less like poo and more like it should be on NSFW day. Or maybe I need to get out just a little more.

@TechyDad - If you think about it changing Columbus Day to Lucas day makes a fair amount of sense...similar accomplishment.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFixer

Maybe they are poococks?

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenJen

Puns are safe in the hands of licensed professionals such as J&J. Others have to be decided on a case-by-case basis.

Got any cakes intended to resemble buffalo, John (thoJ)?

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

EW. Don't remember ever seeing so many poo cakes on one post. bzzzt bzzzt very appropriate as flies are certainly attracted to POO. Loved The Fly reference!

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersuzeckis

Fellow Canadians, I beg you, enough with the poo turkeys. This is embarrassing, eh.

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShinnewn

@slartibartfast42 -- good idea, but I'd suggest the name "Cakereeks.com." Or maybe a site with reaction photos of the people who receive these monstrosities called "Cakewretch.com."

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I showed this to my mom who burst out laughing hysterically...thank you :)

October 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSophie H

Well that tears it. I am never, ever buying a turkey/poo cake lol. Ugh all of them look like poop. Makes one wonder if these wreckerators are trying to tell us not to eat turkey..hmm.

October 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Second cake from the bottom, the flavors (from center to edge) have to be Turdkey, Dumpkin and Poostachio.

And, yes, anything brown and tubular is presumed to look like turd, unless the shape is somehow suggestive of something else. Which is, if anything, even more disturbing.

October 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPaul

I don't know that I have seen better specimens of chocolate poo on here. These are fantastic. A couple of them actually made my stomach turn. So nasty!!

October 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDaya

The fourth turkey is definitely doing the hula with a grass skirt.
Jen and John - I'd like to thank you for saving me from a bear attack. I just returned from Yellowstone and a hike on a trail with a "Warning - bear in area" sign. I warned the bear of my presence by breaking into hysterical laughter every time I passed his scat since it looked just like the brown poo-swirls so common Cake Wrecks. Just like the third and fifth bird in this entry.

- "Yes. Yes, yes. Without the oops"

October 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLois

Jeff Goldblum was born in Pittsburgh, though I think he visited Canada once...and maybe left a turkey in one of their toilets. That notwithstanding, the citation needed is from the movie "The Fly" (1958)
The line is spoken NOT by Jeff Goldblum, but by David Hedison.

October 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarv

I don't understand. In my experience, most turkey necks are red when viewed head on, so why do bakers insist on using poo brown? On the other hand, a few of those turkey head/necks are starting to look like a certain human appendage, and red often turns to pink so this might lead to a whole new set of wrecks.

October 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJESS

Yes! That is a Hula Poo Turkey! A special delight for people who buy cruise packages to Hawaii over certain holidays [ near relative of the Santa Hula Poo Turkey...]

October 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRev W

3rd from the bottom looks like a nasty *hoo hoo*

October 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSmokinDrinkinMomma

These are great "turd"keys!

October 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarcie

You know something Jen? These turkeys smell an awful lot like flowers.

Love, Mr. Hankey

October 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCaro

Those make me feel physically sick. *quickly clicks a link to proceed to Sunday Sweets*

October 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWhite

My daughter giggled at the poo cakes, but her favorite is the (as she calls them) "Flying Carrot Babies!"

October 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNo Capes

The turdkeys appear to have been created by someone who has never seen an actual turkey and has just heard of them by general description and has a "longing" for a turkey. OK, there is a Joss Whedon line in there that I just butchered, but you get my meaning, shiny?

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNellnee

Now those are ca-ca cakes!

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJean

MAN, the world desperately needs some good Columbus Day cakes.

October 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercsilkeba

not enough fiber?

March 31, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkay

Ever since I was tiny, I've always LOVED scatological humor! It is SO funny! And so, of course, I LOL'D at this!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!

July 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMeaghan

The second to last cake is kind of... Penis-ish-y.

February 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSomebody Awesome

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