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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Oct212011

Halloweenies

Warning: Weenie humor ahead! 

 

Anyone else think the Halloween cakes are getting kinda handsy this year?


No, no. I mean, it seems like the designs are getting a lot...fresher.

 

"GOOSE!"

 

For example, some people might think these "pumpkins" represent huge...tracts of land:

 

Others might think it's a little chilly in here.

 

Hey, sure, bakers, just stick that candy corn anywhere:

 I'd say the bat was a nice touch, but I think the ghost might disagree.

 

And when it comes to pumpkin cookies, this bakery offers up some stiff competition:

 

I'm surprised that they'd erect such a dinky display.

 

And while that might seem like a hard act to follow, it turns out there's more than one bakery trying to get ahead:

 

Psst. Bakers. Here's a tip.

Also, I think your problem stems from a cockeyed decorator with a testy disposition getting a good-natured ribbing from the bakery staff.

 

Ben, Kristen Z., Bevin C., Petra R., Zack J., and Sara W., these cakes salute you.

Sorry about that.

 

HEY RICHMOND!!!  We'll see you at 7 pm!!!  WOOHOO!!!  

« Sunday TREATS: Halloween! | Main | Open Belly, Insert Foot »

Reader Comments (67)

"I'm surprised that they'd erect such a dinky display." That line sent me scurrying to the loo because I was laughing so hard tears were about to leak down my leg. Then, Sharyn and Dark Lord sent me back.

I used to think I was pretty clever til I started hanging out here. :D Holy carp, people!! Back when Comedy Central had comedians on it was never a guaranteed laugh but CW is 5 days a week!!

Now, I MUST go to Panera tomorrow and purchase my very own penis pumpkin cookie (suitable for eating). bwahahahahahahahahahaha

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

I am still stumped as to why that piece of poop has hands coming out of it.

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlesa

Oh my word!!! I haven't laughed this much in a long time! Thanks to Jen and all the commenters!! :D

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarsha

"Holy Grail" reference FTW!

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMr. Cellophane

..the pumkins-boobs-"Tracts of land" thing.....is someone a closet Hetalia fan? Ukraine, anyone?

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLillipop

Oh man. First it's the hands in the erect poop now it's pumpkin boobs. I fear what is coming next and hope it isn't going to involve clowns, or mummy clowns lol. Yay to halloween wrecks.

October 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Your commentary is beautiful, especially your Baker's tip at the end there. As amusing at the wrecks themselves are, your writing takes it to a whole nother level.

October 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelizabeth

The 'nice touch' comment caused me to spit coffee onto my computer screen. I have learned my lesson about drinking coffee and checking your blog.

October 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

Best commentary ever! I am still laughung!

October 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBelle T

Unrelated to this post, but I'm working on a "double dog dare", so here goes!
Toronto in 10 days!
(think "Hey, Jude" for this)

Hey Jen, don’t ever quit
Taking failed cakes and making wisecracks
We enjoy your snark and every pun
It’s always fun, we all love cakewrecks

With every cupcake-cake you see, hey Jen, feel free
To spit on the floor, no one can blame you
Because you know that it’s a twit who ordered it
And they deserve spittle on their shoe

Na, na, na, na-na-na na, na-na-na na, hey Jen

October 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

I went to Panera bread today and they have pictures of that cookie everywhere! The Manager said the cookies are really "hard" to make!!

October 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

The "tracts of land" reference made my day.

October 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClara

so, did go to Panera and, sadly, the cakes at that location didn't look weird. even my mother said there was nothing wrong with them and she knew I was disappointed.

zoomom, great job with the double dog dare so far!! ;)

October 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Those pumpkin penis cookies from Panera are awesome!!!

October 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVicki

Let me know if you want a better pic of those god awful pumpkins. I'll take one of the trays full that I have to do every night. HA! I have to say, seeing those just made my week, considering one of the store managers sent a picture to my boss of the THREE (out of 70) that I made ONE NIGHT that actually looked like jack-o-lanterns. I found out because I got a big lecture about how "if every Panera every night did three cookies like that, it would be $12k a day in lost revenue" - no, if the cookies didn't look stupid, people would spend $3 each on them. Actually - sadly - those are the best selling fall cookies we've ever had. I'll be forwarding this to my boss now.

In defense of most of us, though, the speck is stupid, and the pics shown here are some of the worst I've seen. then again, what do they expect when half the bakers can't be bothered to use the icing tips we got, and the consistency of our icing is so bad that if you set the icing bag on the table for ten seconds, you have a sticky puddle of goo?

October 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMandi

But...but...the pumpkin penis cookies are delicious!!!

October 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVicki

Off to Panera for some Sugar Nookies...

November 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersilfert

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