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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Nov012011

You Remind Me of the Babe

Warning:  This post is pretty disturbing.  Maybe skip it.  You have been warned.


 

 

 

"What babe?"

The babe with the power.

"What power?"

 

THE POWER TO GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES FOR THE REST OF YOUR NATURAL LIFE.

"Oh. THAT babe."

 

And before you ask...

Yes, it's cake.

 

Yes, it's a baby shower cake.

Yes, it's red velvet.

And yes, THIS is where the mom-to-be made the first slice:

 

Thanks to "army wife," who'd rather have that baby in front of me than a frontal lobotomy - but I am SO not cooperating. STAY BACK, woman. I mean it!

 

UPDATE: The baker has spoken!! And as you'd expect, she has a wicked sense of humor and is pretty darn awesome. So let's all give a rousing wrecky welcome to Jana of Jana's Fun Cakes! Check her site for a creepy dummy/marionette cake, too.

Oh, and to answer your questions regarding that cup in the last photo, Jana says:

"the goop in the cup is corn syrup and food coloring, meant for added slime."

Good to know.



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Reader Comments (394)

Oh, that is horrendous. If I were an expectant mother and that cake showed up at my shower, well, besides being gross, it looks more like a dead baby cake than anything else. Yuck!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

O M G.
(However, I have to say it looks surprisingly lifelike, down to the peripheral cyanosis that would probably get the baby an APGAR score of 7 or 8.)
But still -- O M G ! !
Peggy, RN

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPeggy

Did the baker know that blue isn't exactly the color you want your living breathing newborn to be? SOOOO creepy.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbeck

*steps back in amazement...

*faints*

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjenni

Oh dear god. That thing looks stillborn. How horrifying.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnother Jen

OMG this post totally needs a warning!!!! Nightmares indeed!!! O_O

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

I'm kinda speechless.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

The worst part about that is the baby looks DEAD! AAAGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle S

That is beyond disturbing.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJudith

That is the most disturbing cake I've ever seen on this site....


Well done! :-)

And what is the deal with the little red container in the last pic? Saving the cord blood?

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCorrine

Congrats to the baker on making such a realistic, um, well, dead baby. Good luck to the mother on getting to the delivery room without a nervous breakdown, worrying that her baby will end up looking like her cake!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Great. Now I'm going to have images of David Bowie's package stuck in my head all day.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKen

O-M-G. And that little specimen jar of -- I'm guessing, raspberry puree -- next to the cut cake, is meant to be...?

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

Is the baby supposed to be dead? It's BLUE! Usually that means lack of oxygen. Love the lobotomy and the nifty line between the two brain hemispheres! Oh my...

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTomara

And now Kdot runs away screaming. And gives her own small children (who are not blue and lifeless) a big hug (rather than open brain surgery).

So wrong.
So wrong.
So wrong.
So wrong.
So wrong.
So wrong.
So wrong.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKdot

I don't like where she made the first cut either, but I've scanned that baby for almost a full five minutes and I can't see that there was ANYWHERE to cut that wouldn't have been equally as disturbing!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessJ

This type of cake always reminds me of stillborn babies, but that blue colour makes it look even more dead than usual :(

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbeehummingbird

That's just wrong on so many levels.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSmoochiefrog

ew. ew. EW!!!! Why don't bakers think ahead when they make a cake!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

I'm so horrified!! Someone with that kind of talent should have the brains to know NOT to do something like that! I can't eat today....

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDena

And somehow, I still want to watch Labyrinth...

*shudders*

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJami

OMG! That is the worst baby cake EVER!!!! And why blue????? And slimy???? That is just sick!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPenny

Ew. Ew ew ew. I can't say that enough times to get the squick out of me.... Ew ew ew ew ew......

*wanders off searching for the brain bleach*

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Holy crap! I'm highly disturbed by that baby ckae, but even more pleased at the Existential Blues reference. There's just not enough T-bone Stankus in modern literature!!!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen @ Cup a Dee Cakes

Um, yeah... Baby cakes are bad enough, but this baby is blue! I'm no doctor, but doesn't blue skin usually indicate that a person isn't getting oxygen? And I'd think to be THAT blue means their dead! What was that decorator thinking????

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermindysue

Oh.my. That is truly terrifying. The bluish tint just makes it even worse because it looks truly...well, not alive. And that is a really creepy bummer to have at a baby shower. Oh dear merciful heaven.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Oh. My God.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSalannB

Oh dear God...I'm not sure if I'm more disturbed by the umbilical cord, the fact that it's a BABY, or the fact that the baby has a very unhealthy blue tinge! I won't even start on the red velvet bit or the lobotomy!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStacie

oh my.............

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterale

Is this a serious cake? Or were they trying to be funny? I guess it doesn't matter either way, it's wrong no matter how you put it...

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeather S.

Wow. That is disturbing.....

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Honestly the worst thing I've ever seen! Can you imagine getting this cake at your baby shower??

The blue makes the baby look dead. How disturbing!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

Egad!!!!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarebabe

OMG, that is wrong on so many levels. Who makes a blue baby cake for a shower? If it's a boy, put a blue hat on it if you must, but no one wants a blue baby. And WHAT IS IN THAT CONTAINER IN THE LAST PICTURE?!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterConnieB in OH

Words fail me - and that doesn't often happen! The cake is bad enough by itself, but to have the "brain" so perfectly aligned...oh, yuck!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

I'd hate to see the APGAR score on that baby! It certainly lacks the rosy healthiness of a newborn!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergottabekd

So many questions. Why is the baby bluish? Why does it have an adult-sized ear? Who in their right mind ordered this? What Frankenbakery created this?

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAuntie Meme

Um... Why is the baby blue? It's just sleeping... right? Right?!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Apalling. Far too realistic, and I agree with JessJ, there is no place to cut that cake that would have been acceptable. If I were the mother to be I think I would have left as soon as I saw it.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

Let's drop that cake in the Bog of Eternal Stench and try to forget it ever happened. [Do not think about shiny dead baby cake. Do not think about shiny dead baby cake. Do not....]

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBB, Miami

Way to psyche me out, Jen! At those first words, "You remind me of the babe," I was totally expecting some Labyrinth wrecks or at the very least, a Jareth reproduction. Instead, I'm now going to have to spend the day wishing I would wash my brain out with bleach so that I could forget the sight of that first slice. Ick!

Also, thanks a lot for getting that song stuck in my head.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterwinsomebulldog

For the love of all that is good and holy, WHY!??

...I think I'm gonna hurl up all my Halloween candy.

D:

:c

>o<

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAna!

Disgusting

What are people thinking ( if at all)

when I think of all the cute baby cake designs from Sunday Sweets I have to wonder what this mother thinks of her friends

If it was wrapped in a pink fondant blanket It might be sweeter but that metal tray and scissors makes it look like to morgue

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMartha

WHY ON EARTH DID IT HAVE TO BE BLUE?????!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM GOING TO HAUNTED FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Also, I will never, NEVER go to a Baby shower AGAIN.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHannah A

You've had a bunch of disturbing baby cakes over the years here on CakeWrecks, and this one takes the cake. *rimshot* This is truly horrific. I can't imagine what the baker was thinking. Is the umbilical cord really supposed to be THAT blue? The cake is sending mixed messages: The baby is kind of blue, but the name is pink. Did they give birth to some kind of alien? Oh hey.....

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

why...why...WHY!?!?!?!?! This is so disturbing. Like even worse than the scarest movie you've ever seen. I say "you" because I don't even watch those scary things! This will haunt me FOREVER! What are these people thinking? I really want my mommy now.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCat

Jeebus Christmas that's horrifying.

This is TOTALLY going over to STFU Parents.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDazie

That is pretty disgusting. I mean, the baby looks still born. And having recently been pregnant, NO WAY my pregger's hormones would have let me cut into that cake. I would have been bawling, blithering mess. It's like every pregnant woman's worst nightmare come true, her dead baby on a plate. Sheesh. WTF people?

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

I'm not going to mention the blue... or the slime aspect. Or even the "Se7en" reference of "What's in the cuuuuup!" in the comments.

I am only trying to figure out what would possess the creator of this cake to place it on a metal tray. That's going to bug me all day.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Why in the world would you serve a dead baby cake at a shower? Blue?? That's not a color you're hoping for in a newborn. Shudder... you really should have posted this one yesterday!!!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

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