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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Nov012011

You Remind Me of the Babe

Warning:  This post is pretty disturbing.  Maybe skip it.  You have been warned.


 

 

 

"What babe?"

The babe with the power.

"What power?"

 

THE POWER TO GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES FOR THE REST OF YOUR NATURAL LIFE.

"Oh. THAT babe."

 

And before you ask...

Yes, it's cake.

 

Yes, it's a baby shower cake.

Yes, it's red velvet.

And yes, THIS is where the mom-to-be made the first slice:

 

Thanks to "army wife," who'd rather have that baby in front of me than a frontal lobotomy - but I am SO not cooperating. STAY BACK, woman. I mean it!

 

UPDATE: The baker has spoken!! And as you'd expect, she has a wicked sense of humor and is pretty darn awesome. So let's all give a rousing wrecky welcome to Jana of Jana's Fun Cakes! Check her site for a creepy dummy/marionette cake, too.

Oh, and to answer your questions regarding that cup in the last photo, Jana says:

"the goop in the cup is corn syrup and food coloring, meant for added slime."

Good to know.



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Reader Comments (393)

Check the person standing behind with the black nail polish and the black dress. Is that 'mom'? This is one case where I have a complete and absolute lack of curiosity regarding the back story.

I cherish the hope of being a dad someday, and so anything having to do with babies turns me to mush as it is. This turns my insides to ice water.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I saw my granddaughter born, and yes, the cord was a shocking sort of turquoise-blue, but I guarantee she was not blue in any way. And they didn't put her on a cold metal tray at any time. That baby is dead as a doornail. Halloween cakes are nothing compared to this.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMomcat

Okay, those pictures *literally* gave me shivers. So. Creepy.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVictoria V

this is the most disturbing thing I have ever seen. and whats with the severed sausage, right hand. my stomach just hurts now.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMel

*Vuh. ile.*

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRadio Girl

So disturbing on so many levels. Surely they made this just to get on Cake Wrecks. I'm going to go ahead and believe that.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

I just. Nothing. I have nothing but nightmares now. I have a pretty open sense of humor, but I kind of draw the line at having a dead baby cake at any shower I attend. The ick factor alone at eating your baby's skull, much less umbilical cord! Gah!

Also, is that supposed to be baby poop on the poor thing's bottom? The yellow part?

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJaime

*curls up into a ball; rocks back and forth*

Dead baby cake haunts my nightmares ... dead baby cake haunts my nightmares ...

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterladycrim

Why oh why oh WHY is that baby blue?!?! And the bloody scissors? *hurl* Seems like this would have been a good halloween cake!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

That cake must have been the buzz kill at the shower. WHY would anyone order a cake like this? The baby looks like it's about to be shipped off for an autopsy. Ugh!

Oh, for the good old days of simple sheet cakes with misspelled messages.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Girl from New York

I realize this is a horrible comparison to make, but has anyone seen the movie Trainspotting?

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSheikia

At first I thought: Labyrinth! WEEEeee....oh....Oh......OH.....
Seriously, even Jareth would have reordered time just to make sure this travesty would never exist.
But major props for involving Labyrinth (even though I'll probably have flashbacks about this godforsaken cake from now on)!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessicaDK

I cannot unsee that.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJess

Ummm....yeah...

Did the hostess of the baby shower NOT see this cake before placing it on the table for the mother to be?!!! And if this is the case, the hostess has some REAL issues with the mom to be and SERIOUSLY needs professional help! SERIOUSLY! Just sayin'.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStacey M

Absolutely revolting. Who would want to eat that?! And look how thick the outer layer is, it doesn't even look like good cake. New mothers are definitely an odd bunch.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTed C

Truly disturbing.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJudi

Oh God. I read BugginWord's blog, and today has just been baby trauma on baby trauma! (By the way, that baby looks like it's been the victim of some kind of trauma.) Bloody scissors! Why on earth did they have to include the bloody scissors?! And who went to the bakery and thought, "You know what would be great? If I terrified all of my guests at my baby shower."

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDana the Biped

My husband looked over while I was looking at this post and exclaimed,
"Why is it BLUE!? Blue is dead baby!"

Yes, truly the most disturbing cake ever. What on earth was the baker thinking?

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I do believe that this cake has gone to Plaid.

My reaction to the cake initially was disgust..but the fact that the cake was designed such that the initial cut revealed that the baker knew EXACTLY what they were doing..this is beyond terribad! I'm now wondering if the legs had white cream filling amid the chocolate cake to simulate bones, and well, I don't even want to imagine what is in the midsection......UGH

Beyond the pale.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenternani

This cake makes me feel better about my decision not to reproduce. This baby shower cake is probably more traumatic than birth.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKerri

What's worse, someone paid to have this cake made---and very professionally I might add.
Also, it's just laying in a pan. Nothing under it. Looks like an autopsy table. :(

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCeeCee

Holy Mother of ...

This Wreck is conclusive proof that there is no boundary of good taste that a Wreckerator will not cross, much less the person who ordered this ... this ... thing. What were they thinking?? WERE they thinking??! Why was there not someone at the bakery to say, "NO. That's going too far"?

But now we also know that the people who actually consume these cakes may be in need of an intervention themselves...

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJules

@ Craig:

This isn't about babies.

It's about CAKE!!!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Ugh, it looks like it's being served on a dissection tray like we used in my Anatomy class.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

What the...

Do they want the mom to give birth asap with a shock syndrome? o.O

If my kids had looked like that, i would have panicked .

And this cake is bringing back really bad memories of 7 months ago, when my 1 mo old girl suffered from a really bad pneumonia and started to do Apnea at the hospital. The freakiest experience in my life so far.

So, no cake for me for a while, and i'm going back to hug and hold my girl...

And that's a cake way too much appropriate for "The day of the Dead". "Nice" find. =P

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVinie

That has got to be THE most awful cake ever. I agree with all the comments posted before me. It's not even laughable-awful, it's just awful!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKelli

That should just be illegal, no one should be able to re-create a baby. Baby butt included. Yikes!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTara M

It's a GIRL! Elsa is the baby's name. OMG this is horrendous. A dead baby boy cake for a baby shower. What WAS the baker/cake orderer thinking? Yes, I know orderer is not a word, but it fits.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

If that cake had shown up at either of my baby showers I would have first vomited all over the place and then thrown that cake at whomever thought it was a good idea.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Um... I just threw up a little, and I don't think it was my morning sickness. It looks dead :(

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

You can tell by the woman's hand in the last picture that she is horrified, too.

If this had been the cake at my shower, I would have turned on my heel and walked out without a word (but perhaps pausing to throw up), and never spoken to the cake order-er again.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

This is the most awful thing I've ever seen.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

holy mother of god
cause nothing says "congratulations on your pregnancy!" like a dead, blue baby.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKate

While I applaud the realism..I just...urgh. Why did this baker waste their obvious talent on such a horrifying cake?! I think this one might've just scared me into labor. Glad my shower cake wasn't that scary!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTonee

Oh...My...God.

It really scares me to imagine someone eating this craneous slice...

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNieves

Needs more blood and sticky white stuff.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRiverVox

Peripheral cyanosis my foot. That baby's back is cyanotic, but it has pink feet! I think the fact that it is lying on a surgical tray, and that it looks waxy, are adding to the ick factor. Someone give that baby cake some oxygen! It's truly disgusting.
Jane, labor room nurse (now with enduring nightmares of this trainwreck)

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJane

Ok, let's step back, and try to talk about this rationally.

Eeeeeeeeew! *deep breath* It's still ewwwwww.

The only excuse I can think of for this baby being blue is that the baby is a boy, perhaps? Nope - it's for Elsa, who, judging from the name and the pink ribbon, is a girl. Strike one.
Maybe, despite mad cake skills, the baker couldn't make a normal skin tone? Nope - look at the feet, around the head, etc. STRIKE TWO!
Finally, all that detail... the scissors, the umbilical cord... whatever that tub of red stuff was... maybe this was an after the delivery was a bit sketchy cake? Honestly, I can't see ANY reason for this blue baby monstrosity. APGAR score aside, this is some scary stuff. Super bonus for it being red velvet cake. Someone has seen "Steel Magnolias."

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKim S.

Now that's a cake I would have to decline on having a piece of. I wonder if anyone besides the mother had a piece? If so, who ate the butt? Just curious.. Weird.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMindyC

Couldn't they have at least presented it on something that doesn't look like a surgical tray? Full on body shudders here.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOhlookachicken

That is absolutely horrifying.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

That is horrifying. My niece was stillborn. Ugh. That baker needs a b@tchslap. So does the person who ordered the cake.

On a happier note, Labyrinth references always help.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKate

This could be worse than the Stitched Skin Halloween cake on the Mental Floss page. I am completely traumatized!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermouse

Well, that was disturbing!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJanna

why is the baby blue!? I'm not sure which is worse, that this cake was made, that to eat the cake you have to cut the blue baby to get to the red mush inside, or that the baker was proud enough of her work that she actually GAVE IT to someone. #disturbed.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterashley

That's so cute... and disturbing! So well done... and disturbing! So real looking... and disturbing.
Mostly though, that is so DISTURBING!!

*at least it's not covered with vernix!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLori

That is...wow. Just...wow. I'm going to hug my kids now.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDenita TwoDragons

I don't usually comment, but I have been sitting here at work for five minutes with my mouth hanging open, first when I saw the cake and then when reading the comments. I can't believe it. WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THIS??? Yuck!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJackie

Sorry but that baby cake is just disturbing and wrong...

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJohn Fredericks

WHAT IN THE FRESH HELL?!?!?! WHY? Will someone tell me WHY?

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPink Sith

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