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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Nov012011

You Remind Me of the Babe

Warning:  This post is pretty disturbing.  Maybe skip it.  You have been warned.


 

 

 

"What babe?"

The babe with the power.

"What power?"

 

THE POWER TO GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES FOR THE REST OF YOUR NATURAL LIFE.

"Oh. THAT babe."

 

And before you ask...

Yes, it's cake.

 

Yes, it's a baby shower cake.

Yes, it's red velvet.

And yes, THIS is where the mom-to-be made the first slice:

 

Thanks to "army wife," who'd rather have that baby in front of me than a frontal lobotomy - but I am SO not cooperating. STAY BACK, woman. I mean it!

 

UPDATE: The baker has spoken!! And as you'd expect, she has a wicked sense of humor and is pretty darn awesome. So let's all give a rousing wrecky welcome to Jana of Jana's Fun Cakes! Check her site for a creepy dummy/marionette cake, too.

Oh, and to answer your questions regarding that cup in the last photo, Jana says:

"the goop in the cup is corn syrup and food coloring, meant for added slime."

Good to know.



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Reader Comments (394)

Did they have to fill in quite so many details? There is blood on the scissors, people!!!! *urp. Pass the brain bleach.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

Oh that babe, the DEAD one?

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPam

OMG! There is even "blood" on the scissors OMG! eeeeek! gag eeeek! again

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHorrified

In an effort to say something nice about this desecration of all that is holy...

Those scissors look pretty sharp. (ha)

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Who knew a cake website could be SO good for my diet! LOL I may never eat cake again after this one!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJ

Okay - everyone above has hit the obvious problems and mental disturbances with this cake. But one of my main beefs is, well, I mean, everyone knows once babies are born, they are immediately placed on a cold, metal pan! Right!?! And within inches of sharp, razor point scissors! It just creates the picture of love and warmth doesn't it? No need for a scale or warming light, or God forbid - A BLANKET!? Really, it would be so nice to know what exactly was "ordered!"

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Great way to celebrate a stillborn birth..."Sorry about your dead baby, here, cake will make it better! Celebrate!"

Disgusting....

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdietcokehed

This is by far the most horrifying cake wreck you have posted--EVER! That is just disturbing. When I first saw it, I thought it looked like a dead baby. (I am just shaking my head because I can't think of any other words.)

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnita

Served on a surgical tray? Really??

Honestly, this looks more like a cake more appropriate for an A&P student...some morbid science project gone wrong.

Baby shower? **shudder**

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

I just wanted everyone to know due to the concern about the blue color that though it probably isn't the most ideal of situations in some cases, my mother tells me that I had quite the smurf-like palor when I was born and I was perfectly healthy. So blue isn't necessarily as "dead-looking" as some of you fear. I assure you I am quite alive and always have been (I point that out since it is still in close proximity to Halloween and there may be a few leftover zombies milling about posting comments.)

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

"What could I do, my baby's love had gone, and left my baby BLUE!"

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCeleste

Well the cord isn't clamped. That explains it. *shudder*. Truly hideous.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKathyH

Cake = mortifying. David Bowie singing the Babe song from The Labrynth = nice save!!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi F

I am *assuming^ that the blue represents a baby boy but why on earth would ANYONE do that for someone?!? I want to hear from the woman it was for, her thoughts, and what in the holy hell is in that Tupperware container?!?!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne Sherrod

ummmmmm, arent babies supposed to be pink and on a cozy blanket not blue and on a surgical tray??Halloween YES! Even Dexter's baby shower - NOOOOO!!! so disturbing would love a photo of the mothers reaction.

But - for the sake of always trying to be positive, the artistic value is great! It is most definitely disturbingly realistic.!!!!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterfishcakes

This cake is seriously wrong on so many levels, one can't begin to know where to start... Oh dear. A blue baby? A blue, slimy baby? A blue, slimy baby on a metal tray? With an umbilical cord?

And what pray tell, is that small hand that is reaching down in that last picture?

OMG not only do I need mind bleach, but some eye bleach as well.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAddie

Oh me...horrifying. (Much more horrifying than the clown cake or any of the other horrific cakes that I have seen.)

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCathy Davis

I think this cake may have just taken away all desires for me to splurge on cake for good. I would have cried if that was my cake. lol

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJan

Ok all I am gonna say about this....just because you can doesn't mean you should

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

People- calm down!! It's blue because it's a baby Smurf!! Sheesh!!! And I can't believe not one person has said "Get in mah belleeeeeeeeeeee!!!!"

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLatinmama

OK, the skill with the carving and shaping is amazing. But I hate baby cakes. And why is it blue?? It looks dead, especially on the metal pan. Yuck :(

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTiffiny

I... just... but...

Wrong. Just so wrong on so many levels I wouldn't know where to start...

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPaisley

What is the back story? Is it possible that this is a photoshop deal? Please say that it is. Even if the baker intended to baby to be alive, it would never be put on a metal tray. Zombie Halloween Party joke, I'm guessing.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

ew ew ew ew ew ew

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbabymaker

"oh look honey.... it's on a dissection tray. How.... um... tasty."

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTrina

All my kids were all a disturbing shade of blue...for about the first 10 seconds of their lives. They come out and you're like, "HOLY CRAP WHAT'S WRONG WITH...oh that's much better." What disturbs me is that the baby is STILL that color after someone set it down and performed...I guess an umbilical-ectomy on it? So yeah, agree with the guy that said there was something morgue-ish about it. Also, a side-note to Ken: thinking about David Bowie's package is not disturbing for all of us.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKris

I tried to "get" this. I really did. And I've had three kids - when they're first born, you know, it's pretty gross. They're slimy and, yeah, they can be a little blue. But, regardless of the issue of why you'd want to symbollically eat a moments-old baby at a celebration of new babies, IT IS ON A SURGICAL TRAY. You don't DO that with living babies. This is so truly horrifying! With all that talent available, and patrons who for whatever reason do want to eat the new baby in effigy, at least give the poor thing a blanket! Or, I don't know, put it on a scale, if you don't want to do textiles. Not the tray!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAng

Yikes, yikes, yikes... o_O

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I would have thrown that cake in the garbage and chewed the shower host out. Honestly I would have been disturbed during the whole party if that was at my shower.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

That is disgusting! It looks like a cyanotic dead baby. YUCK! If that showed up at my shower I would probably run out of the room crying. Although on the positive side, it does look realistic and even appears to have a corpus callosum where the brain should be.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

OMG, THAT IS WRONG. That cake looks like a dead baby. And a mother and any mothers out there I would be offended if I got a cake look like that.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMom of 4

Holy Jeebus. Mother of God. Aye dios mio! That is some scary chiz. This is definitely one of the worst cakes ever. Well done, Jen. You win, friend. You win.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDawn Dennis

Beyond the blue face and the sliminess factor, does anybody feel like the cookie sheet makes the baby look like it's stillborn or some sort of late term pregnancy termination? I'm so uncomfortable...this should go on a list of things NOT to do. Gahhhh!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

@Sheikia, you beat me to it. Blue Trainspotting baby cake will haunt my dreams!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterninedaysjane

Wow...that's awesomely horrible :)

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStef

ugh!
not only that, but I can't make it to Toronto tonight (I'm only an hour away!) so I don't get to meet you guys :(

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertjbmurph

Well if it wasn't edible and was supposed to be thought provoking in a beautiful but very sad way, I would have to say well done. But as a cake to celebrate a LIvE baby being born soon then this is a fail.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMisty Dawn

Creepier than corduroy underwear.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCharly

Wow. I have never been so glad that a proper Southern hostess served petits fours at my baby shower.

Yikes.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterConstance

Not cool... Not cool.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelly

My mother is an OBGYN. I had her look at this, and the first words out of her mouth were, "Yuck, a dead baby cake!" Then, "Is it supposed to be a zombie baby?"

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJuno

Call me overly picky, but aren't blue tinted babies cyanotic? One more creepy addition to this cake's abundant supply.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

The worst. Does that "baby" have a cowl??? Erase it from my eyes!!! Now!!!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTerri

What's the red stuff in the container on the left? The afterbirth? BLECHH!!!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTina

well, sometimes they are kinda blue when they are first born. . . but its like a purpleish blue, not a zombie blue. . maybe if the eyes were open and it was screaming it might be a little more cheerful.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDJH

: /
Most disturbing cakewreck EVAR. Seriously. I can only imagine what the cake order conversation sounded like:

Customer: Yes, I'd like to order a cake for a baby shower.
Baker: Great! What size cake?
Customer: Um... well we need to feed around 75.
... Baker: Well we can do a 12" round, a half sheet, or cake squares.
Customer: No, not cake squares, but otherwise it doesn't matter as long as it'll serve 75.
Baker: Ok, well do you have a specific design in mind? We can do cute baby animals, cake shaped like a onsie or a bottle, letter blocks, Noah's Ark, -
Customer: Well I've seen these lifelike baby cakes on the internet...
Baker: Yes, we can do those but I don't really suggest it, I mean you have to cut into -
Customer: And since I was suckered into throwing this shower for my sister in law, who I really hate, I'd like for you to make it look like a dead baby.
Baker: What?
Customer: A dead baby, you know a little blue like it's not breathing and maybe some random veins showing through the skin, something really sick, that'll teach her.
Baker: But -
Customer: Oh oh and can you make a really disgusting umbilical cord and the scissors that cut them with some blood on them? ::claps hands:: This is going to be great.
Baker: (silence)
Customer: I'll pay extra...
Baker: (silence)
Customer: Did I mention I own the note on your house?
Baker: (silence)
Customer: ...and I'm the principle at your kids school?
Baker: (silence)
Customer: And I've poisoned you and only I have the cure. If you don't make this cake I'll let you die and then kill your family.
Baker: Fine. $4000, and not a penny less. And no pictures of the cake can be taken, and you can never tell ANYONE where you got it. ::slams phone, bangs head against wall::

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTia

I suddenly feel an urgent need to wake my children from thei nap. That's somethig I NEVER do.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdacakediva

Yup, scarier than anything I saw last night!

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie in Seattle

The most horrific thing about this cake is that it is TOO well made - a baby cake that looks JUST like a real dead baby. Obviously mum to be has a hint of zombie about and wanted BRAAAINS.
Now excuse me while I struggle to keep my dinner down.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFirehorse

You know, I myself have only had one pregnancy--a twin pregnancy that was very difficult (I AM going somewhere with this; I'm not just a lonely cat-lady starved for attention talking about random things--I think). Near the end, I developed eclampsia, went into premature labor, and was placed on complete bed rest. So I didn't get to attend my own baby shower. Looking at this cake, and the cakes you've presented in the past, I'm beginning to think that was a good thing. My twins were early, but if I'd been able to go to the shower, they might have been even earlier.

November 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

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