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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Nov162011

Wrecky Replay: This'll Cure that Freaky Fetish

Well, not THAT one - what do you take me for, a miracle-worker? Sheesh.

No, I mean the one with the footsies. And don't try to deny it, 'cuz I know you're out there: loitering around the pedicure station, being overly helpful at the Payless, getting WAY too excited about peep-toe pumps coming back into style - yeah, you know who you are. Well, my foot-fondling friends, it's time for a little sole searching.

And for the rest of you: put down that coffee and prepare to skip breakfast (or possibly revisit it, depending on your constitution).

This is a groom's cake, which begs the question: is the groom really that enamored with his own toe hair? And I know there's no good way to show severed appendages, but those ankle stumps are freaking me out juuust a little.

Side note: The words "cake" and "ankle stumps" should never, EVER, be used to describe the same thing.

 

Hahahahahaha! See, it's like a dead person's feet! With a toe tag! To remind you of your own mortality! Isn't that hysterical? Hahhahahaha!

Right. Two things:
1) What's up with the blue drapey bits?
2) Just for fun, try to imagine the position you'd have to be in to get your feet at that angle.

 

There is only one word to describe this next one:

AAAAUUUUGGGHHH!!!

Yep, that sums it up nicely, I think.

 

Then there's the delectable world of toe fungus, which I think you'll all agree is not only a great ice-breaker at parties ("Hey, wanna see something cool?"), but also really hits the spot come dessert time.

That Dr. Pachman, he's such a fun guy, don't you think? Eh? Fungi? Eh? Booyah!

I'm not sure why he would order a "cake" made from upholstery foam, though: that somehow detracts from the otherwise yummy-looking toenails.

Side note: Dr. Pachman is quite possibly the coolest doctor name ever. Right up there with Dr. Spaceman.


Ok, guys, this is it: time for the most disgusting, fungus-riddled foot cake mine eyes have seen. Proceed with extreme caution and strong intestinal fortitude.

Urp.

What's more horrifying: the green bugs crawling under the toenails...[pausing to swallow repeatedly]...or the fact that this is for a girl? Poor Teresa: I don't think the pretty pink icing nearly makes up for that yellowish... gelatinous...layer....

[sound of running feet]

UPDATE: Whew! Sorry, folks: my constitution just gave out, if you catch my drift. On the plus side, I just may lose those 5 pounds this week!

 

Hey, Sara S., Julie R., Christina B., and Jessica M., it's time to cut loose. Foot loose.

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Reader Comments (59)

The last one reminds me of a commercial where an animated toe fungus "bug" would lift up a toenail and crawl under it. I would nearly puke every time I'd see it.

In the Meta-Toe-Sal cake, if they had the toe next to up pointing up, it would look like someone is flipping you off with their feet! I wish I could do that!

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Um.... NO! Feet cakes? That's disgusting!

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterklumzey

Another great doctor name is Dr Freecandy.

November 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMark

YYYYEEEWWWWWW - who would want a foot cake anywway?

December 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMudmap

The blue drapes are OR towels that they use to wrap specimens up in until they are ready to hand them off of the field for testing or disposal.

January 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNikki

LOOOOOOOL! I LOVE the last 1! But seriously, are the green bugs edible? I mean. They're like frosting right? So they'd be tastey! :D!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJade

The sad thing about the last cake is that is for poor Teresa's BIRTHDAY! At least Dr. Pachman was a foot doctor so his cake seems somewhat relevant.

March 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAshleigh

In the defense of the toe fungus bug cake, I work at the bakery where this was made. It was for a Drug rep and that was her least favorite product to sell... still think its funny tho! Love this site btw!!

April 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

OMG you made my day!!! I cried laughing, like totally cried laughing with this one!!!! Many thanks to ur site!!!

June 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChelle

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