My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Keen for Quinoa

Bakers, I think you need to see this.

This, my friends, is a turkey.


Now, I know this comes as a shock. After all, you've been lied to all these years! But then, how could you possibly have known that turkeys actually DON'T all come in cans?

Now that's what we call a "can-doo" attitude!


In fact, when you think about it, it's really only natural to assume a turkey with a head injury bleeds rainbows:


Or that baby turkeys are cute enough to turn even hardened carnivores into raw vegans:

"Please, sir, might you consider the tofurkey this year? I hear it's lovely with a bit of quinoa."


Of course, some of you chose to model your turkeys on other things.

Like flamingos...


Or your least favorite cousin...


Or, from the looks of things, your last colonoscopy:

"Personally, I've taken a shine to the 'frizzy fecal' style."


Still, the good news is you bakers have always known exactly what a turkey sounds like:

Honestly, it's uncanny.


Thanks to Scott A., Kathryn S., Beth P., D.W., Dion H., Karen, & Mike B. for inspiring me to shout "gooble gooble!" at every lawn flamingo I see. That's right, neighbors, who's the "antisocial recluse" now? Huh? HUH?!

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Reader Comments (63)

@ Lissie:

That's not a bad idea you have (to "forward them the link to this post and make them something else "thanksgiving-y" ) , all things considered.
Here are a couple of ideas for alternatives, if I may share them with you:
You could make them "Horn of Plenty" cornucopias! Or Pilgrims Progress Picnic Packs!
The first entails getting huge (tuba-sized) baskets and loading them with ALL manner of vegetables fruits, etc.
Plenty of them.
The second requires assembling picnic lunches (turkey sandwiches, of course, and cranberry juice boxes). If you wear black while doing this, you'll be the Pilgrim, AND you'll be making Progress, because you'll have gotten out of having to make those silly-looking cakes.

No, no need to thank me...Really--it was nothing!

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~anamorous~

I held it together through the technicolor turkey blood and and the, um, turkingo (?). But the "least favorite cousin"? HAHAHAHAhahahaha.

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKdot

Number 3 is actually the NBC peacock from last century since Thanksgiving is the day when families gather to watch TV.

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRiverVox

I met a real turkey when I was 15 years old. It roamed freely on the property we were visiting and was half my size but still tall enough to look in the car window at me when we arrived. I refused to get out until it was shooed far away. Later, I turned around to find it right behind me and giving me the stink eye. I shrieked all the way to the car and burst into tears when I found it was locked. I cried until we left.

Moral of the story: I'd be a lacto-ovo* vegetarian if meat didn't come in tidy little packages in the grocery store.

*I have gathered eggs fresh from the hens' butts and eaten them for breakfast plus I'm pretty sure I could milk a cow, sheep or goat.

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

A repost, as I think it maybe more suitable here ;)

Just want to share this "great" news about "the turkey-shaped turkey breast" where "it's a turkey breast molded to look like an entire turkey, wings and all":

Yeah, and the same company also makes "a pork loin molded in the shape of a tiny piglet".

Isn't this wonderful? Two great dishes for Thanksgiving! (NOT!)

November 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdy

Ah now I will call my parents and yell Happy Gooble Gooble day! Then listen to the stunned silence as they try and figure out if I ate too much turkey or have finally lost what was left of my mind lol. And that horrible poopy turkey will haunt me..and make me not want to eat for a long long time. Thanks wreckerators.

November 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

In fact, the sound turkeys make (and I have one at the kitchen door right now) is closer to "gooble-gooble" than it is to "gobble-gobble". Leonard will be glad to demonstrate to doubters...

November 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHurricane

Yum! All that icing on the cupcake cake is making my mouth water! :-d

It's all about the icing, you know.

November 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLiz


There are a few companies that make a tofurkey but the most popular brand's is more of a oblong shape. It's not really trying to replicate meat, which I think is for the best because that would personally put me off, its more of a savory flavor with a nice wild rice stuffing center. I like to make my own tofurkey at home which is even more fun! That one ends up shaped like my colander because I use that to press/mould it. :)
Have a happy ( whatever you prefer to eat ) day!


November 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVeganCupcakez4Life

Poo Turkey is a CCC!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

November 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterG

I only have this to say "EAT ME I'M A TURKEY" Just look up the song. It will pretty much explain these wrecks because it is a wreck in itself.

November 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKia

Where did the canturkey go?

December 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterG

I didn't know that Katy Perry kept turkeys as pets.

December 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLili

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