Bakers, I think you need to see this.
This, my friends, is a turkey.
Now, I know this comes as a shock. After all, you've been lied to all these years! But then, how could you possibly have known that turkeys actually DON'T all come in cans?
Now that's what we call a "can-doo" attitude!
In fact, when you think about it, it's really only natural to assume a turkey with a head injury bleeds rainbows:
Or that baby turkeys are cute enough to turn even hardened carnivores into raw vegans:
"Please, sir, might you consider the tofurkey this year? I hear it's lovely with a bit of quinoa."
Of course, some of you chose to model your turkeys on other things.
Or your least favorite cousin...
Or, from the looks of things, your last colonoscopy:
"Personally, I've taken a shine to the 'frizzy fecal' style."
Still, the good news is you bakers have always known exactly what a turkey sounds like:
Honestly, it's uncanny.
Thanks to Scott A., Kathryn S., Beth P., D.W., Dion H., Karen, & Mike B. for inspiring me to shout "gooble gooble!" at every lawn flamingo I see. That's right, neighbors, who's the "antisocial recluse" now? Huh? HUH?!