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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Nov042011

A Picture is Worth What Now?

I know, I know, sometimes you're in a hurry, and you have to grab just any ol' cake off the shelf for your party.

However.

Why this one?

If you're fishing for a compliment, then that's strike one.

 

And if you bring this home to celebrate your sixth anniversary?

Well, let's just say there are other fish in the sea. Who can spell.

 

Wow, I'm so glad they remembered the glass slipper on Dad's cake!

The pink purse alone was just a little too cliché, you know?

 

It's not always a case of last-minute cake decisions, though; sometimes people choose this stuff intentionally.

And you thought dinosaurs were agnostic.

 

This cake was part of a Breast Cancer Awareness display:

Is that Coraline's creepy button-eyed Other Mother?

We can only hope.

 

Speaking of cakes that will blow your mind, how about a dust mite encouraging you to have healthy digestive regularity?

And darned if I just don't want to disappoint the little fella, too.

 

Thanks to Wreckporters Kati, Theresa G., Mark R., Danielle N., Anony M., & Kaitlin.

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Reader Comments (77)

Coraline doesnt have a button eyed aunt. Its her Other Mother :) (my daughter is a spooky movie freak and has watched it at least 2.5 billion times)


[Editor's note- Good ketch! I ficksed it. -john]

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSantina

"Hope" has condoms for eyes. Pretty, blue condom eyes.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter0.o

I know I'm nuts, but I would really love those plastic goldfish...
Sushi for lunch, anyone?

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertoast

Was Dad still looking for his runaway Cinderella?

Also, Coraline didn't have a creepy Aunt. That was her Other Mother.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteralgor

The T-Rex cake is probably for a birthday boy named Epcot.


[Editor's note- You're right. You can tell be the Disney font! -john]

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I totally see a t rex riding two crocodiles/alligator. Maybe a croc and an alligator? Either way, its a nice idea. Sad it's just a silhouette. =(

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVinie

Maybe Dad's a cross-dresser?

I love the Happy Birthday Jesus one. Maybe I'll get a cake just like that for the coffee hour after our church's Christmas pageant this year. Bad, bad, me. (Yes, I am really tempted to do this. It would confuse the heck out of everyone.) Bad me!

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

Condom-eyed Hope will never know the joy of receiving a "Syphilis Blows" cake.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy'sMom

hahahhaha! I'm loving Dad's cake with the pink purse and glass slipper. All kinds of dads, ya know--here's to diversity! I"ll toast him, if you'll pour me some champagne in the shoe! The Jesus dino birthday cake is excllent! We celbrate CHristmas with dinos at my house, too.

These are the best best best I"ve seen in awhile. Happy dust mite is sweeeeeet. :-)

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLIly

So is Dad's cake implying that he's Prince Charming? That's the best spin I can put on it, anyway.

As for the dinosaur/Jesus cake, your guess is as good as mine...

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Wow, so many cakes, so little time! Not what fish (which appear to be koi) have to do with bowling, but okay, we'll just go with that. The "anivarsy" cake is unforgivably bizarre and not in a cute way. Those "fish" look more like amoebas with tails or....something. For Dad's cake it's pretty clear that WAS a little 4 year old's cake that obviously wasn't selling. Wow way to market that one! I'm hoping that the dinosaur (tar monster?) cake is for a child named Jesus (Hesoos) which wouldn't be so bad. Hope looks less than hopeful and that fluffy dust mite is just so darn cute I want to "GO" just for him!

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes6

Wow and I thought all dad's liked purses, the things you learn here ;p

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersue

I think on the dinosaur cake the decorator left "Horse" off the end of the cake! Makes much more sense that way! ;)

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen @ Cup a Dee Cakes

Something seems awfully fishy 'bout those first two cakes.

Just sayin'.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterInaya

@algor You beat me to the punch on the Other Mother note, although I am happy for the Coraline shout out.

@Vinie I didn't see that until you said something. Now it's all I see. Thanks for that.

and random side note- with all of the black food coloring utilized on the dust mite cake, "Go! Go! Go!"-ing probably won't be a problem.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a strange inexplicable hankering to listen to Steve Burns.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

What I really want to know is - why is the dinosaur wearing blackface? Or is it a dinosaur luchador?

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMegaZone

The "Jesus" cake isn't funny - that's the kids name. I suppose...


[Editor's note- Actually, it was a Christmas cake. Seriously. Go figure... -john]

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDavid

Jesus (pronounced hay-sues) is a very common Latino name. I have several friends, including one close friend named Jesus. I'm guessing the cake was made for a kid named Jesus and is not really a wreck.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFriend of Jesus

In before the "Jesus is a common Hispanic name" party-poopers...oh, darn, they attacked already!! I'll just walk away now.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTor2ga

Why does the HOPE cake look like the face of a blow up doll used for illicit purposes?????

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

I looked through all the comments and didn't see the most obvious answer to the Dad's glass slipper cake. Has no one see "The Birdcage"? Tommy has two dads, of course.

I do have a friend who would stretch the BOWLing pun to a fish bowl, if given a chance.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSalsmanc

Heh. Looks like Gary called it.

All I can think of when I see the Jesus cake is, "First the earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died and they turned into oil...".

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

"Inconceivable!", "Great Scott!"
I think I see an Epcot!

Recite the above while clicking your heels* together 3 times to be transported to the Epcot shelter.

*glass slippers may be required

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Did anyone notice the "&" on the "anivarsy" cookie cake? It looks like the letter "c" with a dot above and a dot below it. I can't say that it's because of bad handwriting because all the other letters on that cake look the way they're supposed to.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

I'd swear that last one seems to be some kind of Pokemon.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

The Happy Birthday Jesus cake kind of makes me wish that December was my month to supply baking for coffee hour after church... I seriously hope that you do it and then take a picture Elissa! And wouldn't you know there would be an Epcot right after I ate the last of my cookies. Hopefully someone else in the bunker has something good to snack on.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Perhaps Dad is from Boston, where there used to be (maybe still is?) a strip joint named "The Glass Slipper".

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLynne

UHG-LEEE D:

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermdy1

Perhaps Austin & Kate met at a show during Ani's Little Plastic Castle tour? In any case, it's a very arsy-varsy way of doing things.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterrj

"Hope" looks like Polly Prissy Pants from South Park dyed her hair blond and lost her hat.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAjlina

If only the dinosaur was a raptor, then it would have made sense..heh.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commenternani

See, they live in a bowl... because they're goldfish... fishbowl... bowl... bowling... I've got nothing.

Isn't the Dad cake a re-run (or perhaps a wreckreation)?

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Anyone notice the one-eyed planaria on the second cake? Are Austin and Kate(?) biologists?

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterK

What I want to know if Latino Jesus (with the Hispanic pronunciation) was born on/or around Christmas. I bet that would always confuse the bakers.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOrilon

That last one is adorable. I wouldn't want to disappoint the little fellah, either, so I'm off to "visit my office". I'll see y'all later.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Why can't little Jesus (Hey-sus) have a dino on his birthday cake? The red and green sprinkles are questionable.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

@ Gary - Exactly what I thought when I saw the cake, but you said it far funnier than I would have. :D

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermin

The dust mite cake (is that cake? just looks like a pile of frosting) is kinda cute. If he had big, googly eyes, I'd want him in plush form!

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJabby

perhaps more than any other recent post, this one appeals to my general sense of bewilderment at the world. thanks for the 4:30 giggle.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercwb

is it just me or is anyone else worried about the fiber content in our dust mite cake... he seems pretty sure we're going to follow his directive to "Go! Go! Go!"

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTisforTonya

In defense of the T-rex cake, Jesus (prounounced hay-zeus) is a common name among first and second generation Mexican families. We have a few of those in Texas.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLilypad

Jesus is actually pronounced "Hay zeus," and it actually a very common Spanish given name.

True.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Saw the dino cake -- thought -- why is it a wreck that a kid of Hispanic origin gets a cake?

Then I saw John's note that it's a Christmas cake.

Alrighty then -- it makes PERFECT sense NOW.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnna Nahmus

I think "Happy Anivarsy" is going right up there with "Falker Satherhood"!

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSueKuKu

Seeing as Hope is my name, that cake will haunt me forever. Those blue, pupil-less eyes seem to stare straight into the depths of my soul. "I know all your secrets Hope... Be afraid, be very afraid!"

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHope

Dad was never quite the same after he got the lead in La Cage Aux Folles.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteramanda

Alright, alright, 'Hay-sus' is a Latino name! We know already! Don't people *read* before they post? Tchaw...

Incidentally, the T-Rex totally looks like the tar monster covered in blackface riding a couple of crocodiles. Or possibly alligators.

And Coraline has an 'other mother'.

What?

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

I think the Happy Birthday Jesus was supposed to be him as he "treks across the water" and they got it wrong and put a TRex across the water.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermebrr

First, I know a dad who would have thought the pink purse and glass slipper for his 40th birthday cake was hilariously appropriate :-)

And second, I may never recover from Happy Birthday Jesus Dinosaur--heck I can barely type it out I'm laughing so hard!!!!!!!!!!!

And third, happy anniversary 'pppbbbllpppttt!"

Oh Jen, you are priceless.

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLetitia

Anivarsy. It's like we don't even giradugate kindergarten in this country, anymore. SHEESH! :D Thanks for the hilarious lineup!

November 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

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