Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Dec092011

Cannonball!!

There's been a lot of speculation over the exact course of that errant Mythbusters cannonball that went flying through a suburban neighborhood this week.

Yes, gone are the days when cannonballs will fly in dependable straight lines and plop down with nice dependable kabloomies. These days they use the front door, ricochet through bedrooms, bounce up hills, careen through streets in a drunken fit, and generally behave almost exactly the way cannonballs don't.

Fortunately, we can trace the trail of wreckage and piece together exactly what happened. So let's follow along, shall we?

4:14 PM: The cannonball "myth" fires.

(BWAHAHAHAA!!)

(Sorry.)

From there, it bounded over barriers, sailed through suburbia, and ricocheted off the top tier of the Kyle-Deckard wedding cake:

Followed by a quick bounce off the Maitland anniversary cake:

...a quick hopscotch through a local pound cake display...

...and a sliding skid through a nearby birthday party.

Next it executed a tight right turn, picking up speed while narrowly missing these two characters:

Nice reflexes, guys.


Then things REALLY got interesting.

 

The shockwave from the ball's* passage knocked 3 out of 4 turkey's heads CLEAN OFF.

*"Ball's". Heh. Aheh. Heh.

...AND blasted the cake right out from under a Mr. Louis E. Tully's frosting:

"And that wasn't fondant, man," stated Mr. Tully at a press conference later. "it was buttercream. Anyone wanna take my picture?"

 

Next, according to a sheriff's spokesperson I am totally not making up, "the cannonball took a few unfortunate bounces."

After which it bowled through an innocent tray of cupcakes...

...repeatedly pummeled a defenseless ice cream cake...

... and, apparently just for spite, rolled behind the counter and scrawled grammatically incorrect insults on all the waiting orders.


This was one nasty cannonball, guys.

 

Finally, after literally bringing down the house...

"Oh, oh, oh!"

...the cannonball came to rest in little Arthur Dent's birthday cake:

Where it was iced over and sold by the pound.

THE END.

 

Thanks to Katie M., Jessy A., A.S., Bre D., Alexis G., Michelle M., Joel F., Kevin P., Jennifer E., Monique R., Lisa B., Beth J., & my all-time favorite cannonball wranglers, the Mythbusters gang.

 

And now...

BONUS FUN CAKE OF AWESOMENESS!

Submitted by James B. and made by Ginger Pops, aka Faeries-Demise on DeviantArt

 

Say, is Adam missing an eyebrow? :D

 

« Sunday Sweets: Gingerbread Goodies! | Main | Finally, a Baker Who Gives a Crap »

Reader Comments (89)

Way to make "wrecks" sound perfectly literal! I assume the censor bar wasn't serious.

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Abby Maitland and Connor Temple, were they to have an anniversary cake, would not even be remotely bothered by a bit of frosting-slide. After all, they survived the Cretaceous.

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterrosencreature

Ser'ous censor bar
peers over monocle, coughs,
covers your ankles.

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

These cakes made me afraid of what I might be getting for my bday this weekend. But the last cake totally made me realize all cakes are awesome!! I reject your reality and substitute my own!!!!

.... balls

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJabby

Last night I went to a benefit hosted by one of my favorite writers, and featuring my favorite band AND favorite comedian. And now, as I bore my husband with my theory that everything I love is connected, I find this. My favorite blog together with my favorite guys who blow things up is almost more than I can stand. Sigh...

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Your blog continues to crack me up (and make me want to eat cake)!! Love it.

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterInfertile Naomi

"Nice reflexes" had me laughing out loud. I wish I had a picture of my son's first birthday cake. We had his party at a park and football landed in it right as I put it down in front of my son.

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterseriousschwartz

Best. Post. Ever!!! <3
I love MythBusters!! And .. when Isn't he missing an eyebrow? ;)

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdriane

Earthquakes? Cannonballs? Our turkeys' heads are falling off? I HATE this place!

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbrianwrestler

Folks, if you haven't yet, read the article in SFGate about Adam and Jamie going to apologize. Please note that they weren't at the Alameda range when the accident happened. Torie, Grant, and Kari were. The comments from some of the neighbors were pretty priceless.
Here's the article
Oh, and bonus that they mention the "Wreck the Halls" in the ads on the same page...

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKim S.

I should watch this show more often. My son's names are Jamie and Adam. But the resemblance ends there :)

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermouse

The idea of Rick Deckard marrying Selina Kyle... LOL.

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersnapdragon

I adore the Mythbusters cake! Why have I never gotten one of those for MY birthday?

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl

Ok, awesome post, and I squealed in delight at the Mythbusters cake - I would totally want one of those for my birthday - or wedding, whatever...

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKristen55

This is actually very appropriate considering I've been on a massive Mythbusters kick for the past couple of weeks. Hilariously appropriate, that is.

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

That should be "YOUR grandma is a "

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

I LOVE MYTHBUSTERS!!! My family was playing Pictionary once, and I had to dray Alcatraz. So, naturally, I draw Adam and Jamie in their boat made of coats. My brother got it instantly.

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAli

LOVED the Hitchhikers reference! Lol!

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMeghan

Hey, isn't Aurther Dent a character from Adventures in Odyssey? Well, that aside, these caked are supremely ugly and your commentary made me laugh, as usual.

Oh, and the MythBusters cake of awesomeness was totall awesome. :D

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMii Maker

That first one is kinnd of sad because it looks pretty well made besides the mess,

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarahB

I think I saw a VeggieTales reference in there too! This was fabulous. And possibly a nod to the Muppets early on?

December 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Lol love this post! The only question I have is why on earth would someone put an insult about a grandma on that cake?? The sprinkles looked delicious though. Wow. Just thought if I saw that cake at say a party for said grandma I would honestly hope the wreckerator ran for the hills lol. Really hope no one bought that particular cake though I suspect it was wrecked after someone brought it home. Ahh love my Mythbusters cannon ball :D.

December 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Too freakin' funny!

And the "pound cakes" look to me like the world's ugliest green-dyed angel food cakes...that have been pounded by a cannonball, so yeah, I guess you can still call them pound cakes :)

December 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

That's not BUTTERcreme either. Real buttercreme doesn't stand up on its own. However, Crisco-creme does.

Unfortunately, most bakers don't know the difference between BUTTERcreme and CRISCOcreme. And so the world is subjected to countless cakes covered in slimy, way too sweet (and apparently way too firm) frosting, and yet another person comes to the conclusion: "I don't like frosting".

<heavily sighing baker>

Viva la BUTTERcreme revolution!

December 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDebby

Those two Disney cakes must have had towels over their heads when the bugbladd... uh... cannonball... came through.

December 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I feel so bad for the Maitlands. Not only did their car fall off the covered bridge, but they didn't even get to enjoy their anniversary cake.

December 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

"Myth fires".... Love it!! No Myth Conceptions here, Little Myth Manners would definitely be peeved over Gramma's cake!

December 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

"Makes a right turn, in midair, mind you...

"THAT my friends is one magic cannonball..."

December 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

Grandma is a whale? Love that the Cannonball used "You're" incorrectly. At least it's a true wrecker!

December 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteramanda

#1 [holding unfrosted cake] "I knew we left something out of that top tier!"

#2 "Ok, did we remember to bring everything? Cake? Check. Napkins? Check. Silverware? Uh oh... this is going to be really messy."

#3 The first business to return to Pripyat (near Chernobyl) just had to be a bakery...

#5 Where's her dinosaur?

#6 "Let us cater to your every need." If I ever need a cake that looks like roadkill, I know where to go.

The guys might have conducted their experiment with a CCC instead of a cannonball, but the destruction would have been much more widespread.

"The cannonball took a few unfortunate bounces." Proving once again that physics should be a mandatory subject, not an elective. Unless the people there live in a gravitational anomaly.

December 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

generally behave almost exactly the way cannonballs don't.

That cannonball rejects your reality, and substitutes its own!

December 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShyLittleSquid

the worst part of the insult cake is definitely the "re" and the end of what should have been your. sigh.

December 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteralaina

< / i > Ahem. Frisking keyboard -- I typed the correct characters, but something subtly different came out. Can I borrow that cannonball? (It's not a PC issue, John -- peripheral, not CPU.)

December 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

cakewrecks + mythbusters = best. post. ever!

December 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIssie

I always love it when you cross the streams.

December 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

The fact that you are a fellow geek (and I mean that in the best way possible) makes these wrecks even more awesome. LOVE IT!!

December 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJB

Does that count as turkey bowling?

January 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I LOVE MYTHBUSTERS! It has been my fave show for years and I was smiling/giggling/running around the house with my screen showing the last cake and yelling "I want this cake for my birthday this year!" throughout the whole post. The cannon that missfired was Tory's homemade cannon that they used for both the myth of ball and chain prison escape and the myth of cheese cannonball. A while after the misfire I had the urge to draw the cannon shooting cheese with the Mythbuster style "PLAUSIBLE" sign in front, but now I think I should change the cheese into a cake! Love your blog and sorry for the looonng comment. <3

July 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMythNinja

For some reason, I type completely random things while I'm typing.
Maybe it's because I'm just trying to get attention.
Maybe I'm just like my father (no. That didn't make sense).

I wish I could actually type something that makes SENSE.
:-(

October 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTokaiyaBMalfoy

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>