My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Countdown to V-day

With Valentine's Day coming up, you might be wondering what to get your significant other for the occasion. Other than roses, chocolates, and cheap stuffed animals, I mean. Because, obviously, those are required. [stern face]

Well, fortunately for you, bakeries still have lots of sweet, romantic options tailor-made to fit your snuggly bun's personality to a "t." Check it out:

For the co-dependent:

When your boyfriend starts crying, you'll know it's only because he's so happy.

For the stalker:

Quietly delivered when they least expect it.

*Hidden recorder that plays your personal greeting available for an additional charge.

For the hopeless romantic:

You see plastic frogs and crumbling icing.

She sees a chance to fix you.

For the one who wants something sexy:

With extra sprinkles for that really intimate experience.

For the Class Act:

A temporary tattoo for a permanent affectation. "Which doesn't need a permanent tattoo, baby, 'cuz your love is a tattoo on my heart. You feel me? My heart.

"Seriously, I'm not getting your name tattooed on my chest. So stop asking."

For the kid at heart:

Hey, it's only as disturbing as you let it be.


Which, in my case, is pretty darn disturbing.

[sing-song] "Who wants to suck the icing off Barbie's leeee-eeg?"

Yup. Disturbing.

Thanks to snuggly buns Lewis R., Madlyn, Kristie B., Dru Q., Sarah M., & Sherry G.

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Reader Comments (113)

kingshearte @ 11:02 - Yes! My first thought when I saw the Barbie cake was the same - Barbie legs don't move that way!

My second thought was - her nipples are painted red?


February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDidoCarthage

Barbie looks likes she's in labor! And... push... 1, 2, 3, 4 5...

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

That barbie one is just wrong.

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary

I think Come Hither Barbie is actually sitting on rice pudding. Which is significant. And creepy.

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJill R

Nothing says I love you like a severed foot. I think the boyfriend's crying because he just had his foot chopped off so he can't get away.

That lamb is just creepy. It has crazy eyes. I guess this would be the cake that a stalker gets the one he's stalking.

I'm not sure what's going on with the frogs. The orange is just odd.

Oh yes the sprinkles on a cookie with icing just adds that sexy touch.

I guess Bimbo Barbie plans on giving someone a naughty birthday treat. Hopefully it won't be Ken since I'm sure she'll be disappointed.

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

Love that 1st cake!

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Restaurant Manager

I'm wondering how long before that Barbie cake becomes the new baby shower cake craze.

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

I only wish there were a way I could make that Barbie cake my background on my Blackberry.

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoy

Oh, my. There's a joke in there somewhere about Barbie and being knock-off, I think. Except I can't quite find it.

...and if I squint hard, I think the name heart might say Mario? I'll pretend that's it, anyway. Would rather it be Mario than Mama....

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

Hmmm... maybe Labor Day Barbie could serve as a warning to any hormonal young person as to the potential consequences of... oh, never mind. Ew.

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Happy Valentines to you two !!! hilarious cakes/posts... especially the Barbie one.

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVicki

The first cake, the Together Forever one? It just makes me think of some terrible horror movie where the captive has to saw off his own foot to escape. Now THAT says love.

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterApril@ Natural Nester

The creepy centerfold Barbie one made me kinda nauseous. It's just wrong on SO many levels!

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterwinsomebulldog

Oh the barbie is scary and flashes me back to age 3 and a cake with barbie in the middle and a snapshot forever haunting of me licking the icing off a naked barbie. I remember how uncomfortable I was doing it - fearful it would mean I was gay... Well, thanks mom - you made me lick frosting off barbie so don't complain when I bring my girlfriends to holidays anymore.

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberlee


I see a cursive "More" on the heart between Barbie's legs.

wv: broide: [in New Joiyzee accent:] Boy, honeymoon Bahbee is won hot broide!

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

#1 Meh.

#2 What is that even supposed to be?! I thought the creepy lambs were an Easter thing. Rushing the holidays might be the fashion these days, but this is really pushing it.

#3 Not sure which is worse; frogs happy about living in toxic waste or the fact that the containment pond has been breached.

#4 See #1.

#5 Is the 'Always' heart sit -- er, *resting* on tongues? What does the winged star say, and what does same have to do with the subject? Should the word 'temporary' have anything to do with Valentine's day?

#6 Barbie, Barbie, Barbie. Have you not figured out Ken's 'secret' yet? In his latest incarnation (the subject of a CNN story, I kid you not), he's wearing eyeliner and his lips are pinker than yours. You're wasting your time, girl.

Looks like the heart (the one between the calves, not *that* one) says, 'Mous'. Not sure what it means, but it's slightly less creepy than some other theories.

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Oh geez, I just posted and the wv that comes up is...

enopenop. Barbie, how do your get your legs to enopenop like that?!

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

Jennifer @ 11:15 a.m. - Best.Comment.EVER!

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkimbalaya

What makes the Barbie one worse is it looks like the hearts say happy birthday in spanish...

*sigh* i wish my mom got that cake for me.

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen Marie

The sheep has bear feet. (It must be freezing, then!)

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

I think the name on the heart between Barbie's legs is Mario.

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

The "sexy" cookie looks like it is suffering from a maggot infestation!

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

Maybe the Barbie Cake is a "Birth"day cake and she is laboring under the assumption that the sexy negligee makes childbirth more fun. Breathe.... breathe.... PUSH!!!!!!!!!!

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPJ

Uh, Jen? The Mattel people are on line one. They would like to talk with you about trademark infringement.

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

-whimpers- Gives new meaning to the song lyrics "Come on Barbie, lets go party"

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What's funny is that the barbie cake says HAPPY BIRTHDAY in spanish. What kind of a Birthday cake is that?????

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMindy

So Mattel came up with "Slutty Barbie"? In the packaging you also get miniature pink fur handcuffs and a pearl, um, necklace? And how about the matching "Pimp Ken"? He's on the next cake beating up the John that caused the bed to look like that.

I tell you, kids these days.

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHerouth

Is Barbie's pose supposed to be sexy?? She looks like she's preparing to give birth!

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

After all these weeks, I just realized what the wv comments mean...the word verication, as interpreted by our linguists here on CakeWrecks. I feel so "in" now!

wv: holpdis I "holpdis" post will help to enlighten other clueless folks like myself!

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

I have to schedule an extra session of therapy to get the picture out of my head of Harlot Barbie Cake. Thanks a bunch... I'm sending you my therapy & electro-shock bill at the end of the month ;-P

wv:hipswel=what Barbie's hips are gonna do once she's withchild after V-Day.

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPilgrim

That Barbie one looks like she is scooting her butt across the carpet like a dog trying to scratch a butt full of worms. EWWW! Barbie has worms!

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Looks like Barbie is wearing edible undies, and are those cherries intentional? *shudder**

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDee

That third one looks like a minature replica of a Jello waterfall.

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Sara @ 9:34 A.M. -- Barbie (US version) was actually based on a hooker doll from Europe, so as for coming far since the 1950's, well...
And sure it's a birthday cake, but does that one heart between her ankles say "Mom"? Even. Greater. Awkwardness...
I, incidentally thought the stalker cake is some sort of bear...type...thing??

WV: stned I'm frankly stned that any bakers in the history of ever think ANY of these Wrecks were EVER a good idea! Yeesh!

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAquilaLorelei

Ball 'n' Chain: Yes, BF is crying *with glee*

Frogs: I don't think there is actually any cake in that looks like a toxic waste dump, with glitter!

Barbie: I can read the heart that says "Feliz", and the one that looks like it starts out as "Cumpleanos" but is wreck-ified towards the end and jumbled together. I, too, was unable to decifer the word on the heart between Barbie's legs (!), but I am really hoping....You know, I'm not sure which is better; if that heart says "Mama" or "Mark". Please don't be "Nina" (with the ~ over the n = little girl)!!!


February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

From what I can tell the Barbie cake says "Feliz Cumpleanos Mama". I am thinking that this cake was from a husband to a wife..some men call their wives 'mama', and I'm sure he meant it as a sexy gesture..unfortunately it missed the target by about 50 thousand miles.

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I will never look at a Barbie the same way. Thank you to the baker who just destroyed the rest of my childhood.

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

Barbie's spread-eagled out on a blood-stained white chenile bedspread with surrounded by metaphorical "cherries." Perfect for every young girl.

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The lamb cake is really, really creeping me out! The eyes follow you!!!!!! Thanks again Jen!

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Cake # 1: SCORE!! A zombie cake for V Day! WOOT [urgent whispering] (what do you mean it wasn’t a zombie that ate the rest of him…it’s just a bad decorating job? BUMMER, I wanted a zombie cake!!)

Cake # 2: at least this evil, demonic lamb isn’t smoking a cigar.

Cake # 3: ……. I got nuthin’. Srsly. Frogs and orange icing by the pound?

Cake #4: I blame this on Justin Timberlake.

Cake #5: notice the absence of the phrase “non-toxic” on that tattoo note?? I did.

Cake #6: J, J & #1- hope your attorney’s on speed dial cause Mattel is gonna SUE! Bordello Barbie? I don’t think so.

-Barbara Anne

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

While ignoring the whole Barbie ain't wearing a bra to match those hot red panties...I wonder what are the cherries supposed to suggest?

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermumple

This is rough. As if VD isn't bad enough.

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay


February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Barbie, oh Barbie.....really? ....sigh. The only thing missing from this cake is one of the little plastic babies from a Mardi Gras King Cake...Happy Birthday Mama, you have a grandchild.

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKath

The barbie cake must be for a batchelor's birthday. They couldn't afford a stripper so got him a doll instead.

wv: phini - Barbie is waiting for some phini.

Oh God, that sounds awful. I think I'm still tired...all I can think of are sex-related jokes. And it's only 10 a.m. (and I'm only drinking coffee).

February 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMercy D'souza

I can only say that it's a good thing my hubby doesn't go to stores for his valentine's cake. I make it for him, and he loves it.

Scary what's out there...


February 12, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermladybright

Woah to that last cake. I will never look at barbie the same way again. Why must wreckerators destroy childhood toys? Are they not content destroying cakes? Lol definitely get these if you don't want a Valentine.

February 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Wow, that last one is going to haunt my dreams. Makes me hear the Valley of the Dolls theme. Goootta get off... Goootta get off of this...meeerry-go-round...

February 12, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersungyim

Mario & Barbie? Does Peach know? Dolls these days have a more active love life than some real people.

That wreck hearkens back to another Barbie-in-bed 'cake' with a strawberry theme (the one that many mistook for a blanket made of lunch meat). Maybe she's a strawberry blond. (Ba-dup-dup!)Actually, I think this was inspired by the remake of 'Valley of the Dolls'. I'll stop now.

I would like to suggest that someone open a therapy center across the street from the EPCOT bunker. You know, where we can get rid of mental images of dolls in compromising positions. And babies in melting Jell-o. And babies made of meatloaf. Among others.

February 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Great designs. and that's so yummy.

February 12, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterttv

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