My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Oh! So THAT's Why There's No Mail!

Today we here in the U.S. celebrate our first president's birthday.

But more importantly...

[ripping off coat to reveal red, white, and blue sequin-covered jumpsuit]

...we celebrate America.

Hit it, Christina!

Um, well, I think that's supposed to be "whose"...

"Paroles?" Is this song about a prison break?


I've just spent 10 seconds trying to pronounce "hallulliah," and I can't stop laughing. Help.

[regaining composure] Ahem.

And now, in honor of George Washington and the day of his birth, let's see some starfish doing the tango.

That's for you, George.

And, since some people think Washington's family crest actually helped inspire the red and white stripes on Old Glory, let's take a moment to spotlight the care and respect bakers still show our nation's flag today:

The blue waves represent the sea of our educational incompetence.

Yessir, I think ol' George would have liked these bakers, with their real American values and their real American piping bags. After all, if there's one thing real Americans know, it's the shape of their own country.

Dibs on Toronto.

Thanks to today's real American heroes Ember P., Terra F., Aziza, & Jill W.

« Bake a Cake, Diss A Vow | Main | Sunday Sweets: Wedding Wonders »

Reader Comments (130)

Flippin' hilarious!

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterConnie Moreno

The first flag flown by a ship from the United States of America to be recognized by a foreign country, France on February 14, 1778 was the John Paul Jones flag or Serapis flag which had red, white and blue stripes.A second sighting of this flag on an American ship was recorded by a Dutch painter in September of 1779. Of course, those are really the only two "official" uses of such a flag recorded by history.

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Dibs on Vancouver...

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMonique

Well, there are more cities in the US named Toronto than there are in Canada... Around seven, actually...

Word ver: catedee A cross between a cat and a chickadee?

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDom

There are far too many gems today for me to pick just one to heap praises upon. Though the "Hallulliah" one had me laughing just like Jen as I tried to pronounce it. Then I read what Jen had said and the laughs turned to snorts. It only got more hilarious from there. Just had to say thanks for the riotous laughter. I needed it badly, today.

February 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterwinsomebulldog

Here in America, we have freedom of speech, freedom to design our own flag, freedom of spelling, freedom to change the words of our national anthem (especially if millions are watching), freedom of punctuation, and most importantly...we have the freedom to point and laugh at the person who exercises those rights! What a great country.

February 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLis.

My howls of laughter probably scared the neighbor smoking on the fire Oh man that CCC makes me want to throw it at the person who destroyed it then run and hide. And why are parolees escaping on President's Day? Oh the shame of these cakes..

February 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Hallullia reminds me of Wooster saying, "Eulalie."

February 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterUlrike

After looking at today's wrecktacular goodness, I feel like singing a bit of Handel's Messiah. Here goes, a one and a two and a...

Haaaaaaaaaaaa-lloo-lee-ah! Hallulliah, hallulliah,

Thanks Chris and Elizabeth C for the pronunciation :)

February 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWolverine Girl

I think the star cakes are actually chromosomes.

February 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarisa

The first part of today's installment gave me pleasant memories of the citizenship classes I used to teach for immigrants, most of whom were minimally competent in English. In every class, I'd have to try to explain the meaning of the words to the national anthem. Once I got across what a "Star Spangled Banner" is, there wasn't much time left. (The students knew the word "star," and they could figure out what "banner" means, but "spangled" really threw them.)

February 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

"Sea of our educational incompetence" LMAO, oh Cake Wrecks, you make me smile/laugh every day :D

February 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Ellen, I like the "tune wreck" term!


February 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

STARFISH DOING THE TANGO. i am dying... when i glanced at it i totally thought of two of those stringcheese head characters boogying... HILARIOUS!

February 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlyndsay

I have discovered that trying to read this blog and eat lunch is a bad idea.

Laughing your lunch onto the keyboard cuts productivity, you know.

February 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlorrwill

The last one reminds me of the "The more you know!" logo on PBS... or whatever it was on...

February 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersarah

The last one reminds me of the "The more you know!" logo from the informative commercials.. lol

February 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterReD

*Facepalm* I hate it when people rewrite things.

February 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe_SprinkleMaster

LOL... Toronto! Poor Watson crushed the humans, but he'll never live that one down.

February 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. B

On the last cake, we traded half of the USA for Toronto. OR... they made it the way it was in 1795.

February 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

No matter how hard I try I can't get passed the second "lull" in hallullia with out breaking into fits of hysterical laughter. Just typing it is difficult.

February 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth Schildkret

Those signs make my brain boggle.

I have to wonder about the missing ones: I can't believe that the sign writer got "o'er the ramparts" right, but maybe it's better not to know...

Thanks for the laughs, again. :D

February 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

OOOOOOH! They're fireworks! I get it! My first thought (silly me) was starfish doing aerobics, which doesn't QUITE work with Presidents' Day. Unless I'm wrong...

February 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

The last one is my favorite. Obviously, the person loves the USA so much, it hurts to look at it. Thus the lack of reference images while decorating the cake. That amorphous blob is a representation of the wrekerator's deep-seated heart-felt devotion to the wonder that is the United States of America.

And Canada, apparently.

February 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRachel B.

The "starfish" cakes look more like dead bodies laying on the ground, which is why I thought of gunshot victims when I saw the words "Boom" and "bang".

February 24, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterthe Nurskeptic

Hey Hey Hey! Don't blame the public school system! I had to spend a year teaching 26 fourth graders all about contemporary New Jersey with 16 text books that were over 25 years old! Don't even get me started on Reading and Language Arts...I had NONE of those books for the first 2 marking periods.

And speaking of New Jersey...I live near Washington Headquarters. I can GUARANTEE you that George would be proud as hell over the seemingly Batman and Robin inspired "Boom!" "Bang!" starfish CCC! NOT.

Ok. So...stop blaming the teachers for these spelling wrecks and put the blame where it goes: How can you teach with no books, no paper, no pens? What do you expect when the first writing utensil anyone is given to write with is a piping bag???

LOL...I'm kinda serious....but joking.
Meaning, I was a teacher who taught under those circumstances...but I bought my students whatever they needed with my own money. And all of my students passed the NJ "ASK" test.

(If there are any typos in my post...hey, I was taught in the public school system.)


February 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBhakti

Hey Jen-- I was TOTALLY busting on ya. Once again, I am 100% disabled and live in severe pain every day of my life...and CAKE WRECKS keeps me laughing!!!





February 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBhakti

OMG this post made me cry i was laughing so hard. I love that they included Canada in the last cake, because really, Canada is "America Jr."

Cake on!

February 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterardie

Hey, from the Canadian - You can have Toronto!!

And, lol, those were awesome.

March 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

"And now, in honor of George Washington and the day of his birth, let's see some starfish doing the tango."

Oh my goodness...that made me laugh so are so funny! The cakes alone would be mildly amusing, but with your narrative they're hilarious.

September 12, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

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