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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Mar282011

Tonight at the Lucky Stardust Lounge


"You... are... so beautiful..."

"...to me."

"Thank you. Thank you very much."

[Leaning on piano]

"You... are... soooo beautiful..."

"...to meeee."

"The Goldmans, everyone! Fifty years today! Aren't they adorable?

"Can't you SEEE-EEE-EE?!?"


[sliding to front of stage on knees]

"You're... ev'ry-thing I HOPED for!"


[grimacing in pain]

"You're EVERYTHING I neeeeeeeeee..."

"...eeEEED!"


[winking at waitress]

"You... are... so beautiful..."

"Toooo... meeeeEEEEE."


Thank you, Nia C., Krystal C., Karen R., Julie R., Alison V., and Joshua P. Thank you so much. No, really. Thank you. Really. You're too much. Thank you. Tip your waitress!

« In Moderation | Main | Sunday Sweets: That Takes The Cake 2011 »

Reader Comments (119)

The cakes...so disturbing!

The writing...so funny!!!!

wv: saseck. Your boozy lounge singer's attempt to request a 'sound check'.

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTriGirl

The last cake looks like it was made with deviled eggs, complete with olives!

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergroovyghosthunter

Blah! That last one looked, well, recycled.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F6C7BHP27I

WV: Diste- Diste needs some lemon.

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPandora

Oh. MY.!!!

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

Here's a tip to bakers- if it doesn't look good before decorating it, adding more decorations won't help! YIKES!

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Damn, I should've read this post yesterday! (Yesterday was stupid, and this post made me laugh. HARD.)

Trying to decide which was better: the fugly cakes, or the commentary. Maybe we'll say it was a perfect combination?

Bwa ha ha!

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

i somehow can imagine the story of the first one going like this:

bride (at tasting/ordering, 2 month prior to the wedding): yeah, i want a three layer cake with two square layers and a round layer on top, and i think i'm going with a classy white one - that way it can't clash with any decorations, right?

baker: what a very good choice, i will make you a pretty white cake - how about a bow on top and a few pretty flowers?

bride: alright, see you at the day of the wedding.

---------------------

bride (on the phone, the morning of the wedding day): OMG, i have just seen the reception hall, and everything is white, including the table decorations! they forgot the orange ribbons to match my bouquet and now it looks totally horrid and out of place! so, now, i need you to change my order to have my cake orange so that it matches the bouquet!

baker: i'm sorry, the cake is already made, and it is white. i can't change that now.

bride (bridezilla-mode): THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE! THE CAKE NEEDS TO BE ORANGE! DON'T YOU DARE RUIN MY DAY!!

baker: well, no, it's not possible, if i started to do the decorations all over again in another color it wouldn't be ready until tomorrow. you should have told me at least two weeks prior that you wanted to change it. it can't be done.

bride: I DON'T CARE! IF THE CAKE ISN'T ORANGE WHEN IT ARRIVES I WILL THROW IT IN YOUR FACE AND YOU WON'T GET PAID!

baker: alright, i'll make it orange then (fetches paintbrush).....

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterwhatever

Having been reviewing this blog for a long time, I have not seen such ruinous cakes in forever. The last one actually made me say "What in the hell is THAT?" Poor, poor bride.

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That first one is the Jersey Shore of cakes.. theres a lotta GTL in there

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermissfortune

My dog is wondering why I'm sitting hear with tears in my eyes making funny sqealing noises. He just doesn't understand.

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

The first one I didn't think was too bad. You completely caught me off gaurd, after the first it was like getting whacked in the jaw with ugly XD

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdorably Dead

Not meaning to be a storyteller, but my aunt and uncle had that song at their wedding. I thought I was the only one who realized it's actually not a compliment at all!!! Thanks for your validation!!

And yes, those cakes are all incredibly hideous!

March 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

The singing HAS to be off-key I think. The first one might be nice if it weren't orange??? and the last one looks as if it has OLIVES all over it. My God.

March 30, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterterri c

At first glance, I actually thought there were jalapeƱos on the last one.

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjen

the last cake looks like it is made of hummus. This is much worse than the last time you did wedding wrecks. On that post, except for the duct tape one, I actually liked them. Probably means I should work for a bakery and start getting my 15 minutes of fame.

Meghan the Smith

wv. Axedise -- I need to axedise discretion when deciding who to bake my cakes.

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The last cake sorta looks like they've hid a spinal cord in the middle and one of the layers has peeled away to reveal the horror within

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjenna

Just getting caught up on past posts. This one had me ROLLING.

John: Tell me you were channeling John Belushi when you sang this. Just tell me. I'll adopt you right here, right now.

Jen: I'd adopt you as well, but ... well ... that would make things very awkward for you and the hubster. If you got the reference, you're officially my new bff and can stay married to my newly adopted son, with my deepest mostest hearfeltest (can't have too many "ests") blessings. (Sorry. Can't take that back. What's done is done.) Speaking of which ... You never call anymore. Meh.

April 5, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterrqw1968

Please explain why that last cake has green escargot shells stuck into its sides. Yikes.

April 6, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEditormum

I think that last cake has jalepeno slices on it.

April 8, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersara

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