My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Sorry, Charlie

Warning: Parents, hide your kids. But not necessarily your wives.

There's a lot being said about Charlie Sheen right now - although one could argue that most of it is being said by Charlie Sheen. And while a lot of it might seem a bit crazy, I think you'll find his statements all make perfect sense...when applied to the right cake.

So, in the words of Charlie Sheen, "Just sit back and enjoy the show."

"Most of the time - and this includes naps - I'm an F-18."

"If people could just read behind the hieroglyphic ... if they could put their cryptology frickin' hat on just for two seconds..."

...then maybe they could tell me what the heck this says.

"I've got tiger blood, man."

I hear it tastes like strawberries.

"Resentments...are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber."

(Aka, "Is that a space shuttle in your pants, or do you need to see a doctor?")

"I've been a veteran of the unspeakable."

"I'm still alive, which is pretty cool."

"I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars."

"They picked a fight with a warlock."

"We're Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be?"

"I have one speed. I have one gear: Go."

"The only thing I'm addicted to is winning."

"Surprise! That's what winners do."

"I am on a drug. It's called 'Charlie Sheen.'"

By Cake and Art. And go here for the back story.


Thanks to Jennifer D., Gideon S., Lauren W., Katie S., Kathryn R., Tosha S., Angela M., Rebecca J., Anthea H., I.W., & Amy H., who are ALL bi-winning.

Update from john: The Hieroglyphic cake apparently says 'Happy Birthday' in Gujarati, a language common in Western India. How it ended up in a display case in a chain store in Maryland, though, is still beyond us.

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Reader Comments (109)

I'll have what Samantha is having . . .

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My apologies to Bruno Mars because I do like his song but this seemed to fit.

Oh your eyes, your eyes
When you look at the camera they really scare us
Your mind, your mind
Is on another planet but it’s not near us

We know you have tiger blood
You tell us every day.

Oh we know, we know
When we say you’re crazy
You won’t believe us
It’s so, it’s so
Sad to think what you’re kids had to witness

Every time you mention Mars, we roll our eyes
And say

When we hear you speak,
The whole world stops and laughs at you
Charlie Sheen you’re crazy
Just the way you are.
And when you crash
The whole world will understand
Dude you’re psychotic
Just the way you are.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmerican Momma

I am not reading 50 comment if somebody has already said this. The text on second picture is not assemble of some cryptic shapes. It is actually written "happy Birthday" in" rel="nofollow">Devanagari script .The language" rel="nofollow">Gujarati(i of official 15 languages of India) is written in Devnagri script.The surprising/hilarious aspect is that they chose not to translate "happy birthday" phrase in Gujarati but just write it as it is in Devnagari script. We do that in informal writing like texting and stuff but not somewhere on public display.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteroi

Wow. Sure way to mess with someone you just stayed with....send them a cake that you wet their bed! Of course you didn't do it, but would they know? I think not.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hmm.I guess I have to mention that I did not see other cakes or update before I posted my triumphant last comment. Was so excited to see that that I just had to jump and let everybody know.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteroi

Looks like Samantha is a lucky girl.
Not so sure about her choice of friends, tho.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

is that last one really a cake????

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

this has to be the greatest. post. EVER!!!!

WV--brendea---the name of Charlie Sheens next "goddess"

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commentervanfox23

I get the joke, but this time I'm not really feeling it. I truly think that Charlie Sheen is bipolar. I've known a few bipolar people and this is EXACTLY how they talked and acted when they went off their medication. Perhaps the illegal drugs and alcohol had been helping to keep it in check. Now he is on nothing and the manic part of Charlie is being exposed. No one is trying to help Charlie by getting him some medication. They are all having too much fun making fun of him and watching him crash and burn. He needs help. He doesn't need to be made fun of. I saw it happen to my friends.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSixxlet

I loved the "Super Bowel" and the space shuttle... OMG today's post is awesome! I need to share this in my FB.

Charlie is so out of control. All the dope and smack he's done has fried his brain and he doesn't even realize it.

This post surely is worthy of an award.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSandy C also in SoFla

the Super Bowel cake is awesome!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMama Bear

What did poor Samantha do to deserve that freakishly-large-organ-and-bleeding-stump-legs cake? How would you like to be greeted by that on your 21st birthday?

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous


I'm afraid I have to disagree. I've known a few bipolar people as well and I truly believe that Charlie Sheen is doing this for the attention. He has started using his Twitter feed in a far more self promoting, far less crazy way. As they say in marketing, "Say anything you want about me as long as you spell my name right."

I think you need to be careful when diagnosing someone as bipolar. It may be that this particular individual is actually just an attention-starved, over-sexed, drug-abusing, spoiled brat with delusions of grandeur.

Or maybe he's just nuts.


Charlie IS one Super Bowel, Rock Star From Another Planet!!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMags

Bonercake FTW.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStuart Anderson

Too, too funny.
Thanks Jen!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRU

Ha, my favorite post in a while. "Rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber" made me laugh out loud.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteramydove

OMG really like the last one, haha!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBiskut Raya

This post is a corker! There aren't many cakes that could leave me speechless but that first one is just...?!?!?! All I can say is WHY???

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRuth

The second cake says "Happy Birthday" in the Gujrati language/script (a North Indian language) :) I enjoy every day at Cake Wrecks! Keep them coming!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterELB

Looks like upside-down Cyrillic to me.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSigivald

I've got three comments on these:

1) The thing in the pants cake looks like a nose.
2) Hasn't the Harry Potter cake been posted before?
3) The caption on the spaceship cake is oddly fitting: "No intelligent life."

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This rocks

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKEVIN MIRALAS

The second cake says "Happy Birthday" in Gujrati, a North Indian language with its own script. Thanks for the great blog, please keep them coming!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterELB

Not really in the mood to laugh at an addicted person due to some issues with people I love, so I haven't really been following the Sheen Saga too much. That said, this is a hilarious post. It also makes sense of several odd phrases I've been seeing pop up in my newsfeed over the last couple of days, so thanks for helping out with that. :)

I actually love Samantha's cake. Is it tasteless? Yes. But it's also hilarious and decently executed. That one is all about context. If it says "Happy 4th Birthday, Samantha!" we've got a problem. It's actually quite classy compared to a lot of bachelorette party, uh, refreshments. (Speaking of which... have you done a bachelorette party post before? Talk about needing to hide the kids!)


March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'll bet Tom Hanks is relieved ...

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As much as I love Cake Wrecks, I'm so bloody tired of all this Charlie Sheen nonsense. And I hate the fact that even Cake Wrecks got into it.

Seems like I can't go to many of my favorite sites anymore without having to be subjected to it. Oh well, I guess. Hopefully it'll blow over by next month. Guess I'll stay away from most of my sites 'til then.

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Anon @ 8:51,

One day. One. Day.

I'm sorry you didn't like it.


Loved the plane crash cake with the flames!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is Charlie Sheen the new Tom Cruise? I think so. :)

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercelko

Haven't been following the Sheen Scene, and now I don't have to, cuz Cake Wrecks has filled me in. ;-)
Oh, yeah, and the pee cake is very nicely done, but makes me want to know that back story... sort of....

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJasry

Well played!!
Love it!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

I think Samantha asked for a "crotch rocket" for her birthday and someone did not understand the request.....

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Trying to get the baby asleep as I sit at the computer... luckily I didn't wake her when I burst out laughing at the Harry Potter cake that followed the warlock quote. Hilarious!

March 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKathy

i think that last one would be a border-line wreck even without his face on it.

March 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel


You're awesome.

By the way, cakes are over-represented on this site. Can't you guys cover other baked goods once in a while?* Thanks for attending to that. Wreck on!

* ;-)

March 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Is that Charlie Sheen holding up that last cake?? Lmao he has made it to Cake Wrecks and should be honored. I can't stop chuckling at the Super Bowel cake. Wonderful wreckerators have lost their marbles at last :D

March 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

loved it! He certainly is a train wreck, but I think i'll cope with a plane wreck instead.

WV: it's not nice of you to "tomont" poor Charlie Sheen. However, it looks set to become the latest national sport! :D

March 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRita

Wow. Unless they're all very very good friends who planned this beforehand, I'm sorry for either Samantha or her guests.

"Welcome to my 21st birthday party. Have a slice of tumescent human penis!"

I hope it's not a red velvet cake.

Word verification: keying. What Samantha might well have done to the car of somebody who decided to surprise her with this cake.

Jenny Islander

March 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i lmfao at the um ... rockect pants cake ... and the "sorry i peed in ur bed cake" WOW that's just weird and gross

March 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy Alli

hahahahahahahaha I haven't listened to all his quotes, but these are awesome.

March 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

what I want to know is, why is there a giant nose inside those boxer shorts?!

March 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDolphinwitch

Ah, brilliant as always.
All aboard the Sheen Trainwreck Express!!!

March 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDanger Boy

John, Jen & Number One... I mean really - who do you think you are? You jump on this Sheen bandwagon and harrass us with it for ONE DAY. One. Day. How very daaarree you. ;)

My favourite thing about all this (and I haven't been following it, but I appreciate the cake-y summation!) is a local radio personality declaring that he "loves this Sheen scene, and that while it WILL end badly, and he (the radio host) will look insensitive when it does, he just loves the entertainment."

Oh, and as a previous commenter stated... football really isn't that big here in Canada. Neither is hockey, or beer, or sex. It's just how us Canadians are. Bahaha.

March 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

Rita @ 2:17 a.m.:
"Tomont" is an actual word.
It's one of the stages in the life cycle of certain protazoans.

March 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Oh, man, that "Super Bowel" got me! Most of the time I get a good chuckle, but that made me laugh so loud I'm afraid my office-mates are worried.

March 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLyrical Rationality

That "Super Bowel" made me laugh so hard! Oh, man, I think I disturbed the rest of the office.

March 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLyrical Rationality

John, it is your right to disagree, but have you ever witnessed your friend go off his/her medication? It's possible that the drugs and alcohol were keeping the bipolar in check somehow for Charlie. I've seen quite a few people off of their bipolar meds, and this is how they act. Everything is GREAT and GRANDIOSE. Everything is perfect and they are WINNING. Oh, and they spout tons of nonsense, too. Then the mania wears off and the depression hits. I think if someone really cared about him (his girlfriends or family) they would get him to a psychiatrist stat. I hate that his 'friends' are just playing along with this.

March 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Anon @ 1:59,

Most of the time when I've seen my friends off their meds, they are near catatonic with depression in bed. I'm sure there are cases in which the opposite is true but I've not seen them.

Now to Mr. Sheen. The fact is, he is using all this press to his advantage. He's now advertising on Twitter and making a good deal of money. Honestly, these seem like the symptoms of someone milking the system. My only point is that assuming someone, especially an actor, who is acting crazy is bipolar is like assuming someone with a migraine has a brain tumor. It's armchair diagnostics.

Again, no offense or disrespect to you or your friends. I just think you might be off the mark when it comes to this guy.


p.s. Put your name on your comments.

nice, but you should really have a cake featuring his 'fire-breathing fists'.

Never get over that quote. lol

March 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEvalis

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