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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Mar082011

Deep Fried Thoughts

Today I thought we might celebrate "Marti Gras"


Or maybe even "Mardi Gra"

Whichever it is, I'm just psyched to know that both cakes are deep-fried.

Yessir, and that means it's time to PAPTY!!


With a deep-fried PAPTY cake!


Now, to enjoy your "papty" you're also going to need a bunch of deep-fried donuts cleverly disguised as deep-fried cupcakes disguised as...uh...whatever this is:

Mmmm. Deep-fried goodness.

Next you'll need to clarify that when you say something with Mardi Gras colors on it is ugly...

NOTE: This is ugly.

In a deep-fried kind of way.


...you are, indeed, "dissing" the Mardi Gras colors in general. In fact, you're dissing Mardi Gras, and its cultural origins, and every single person who has, does, or ever will celebrate it. Because, frankly - and I only tell you this because I care - you're kind of a bastard.

You'll also need a small plastic baby on the OUTSIDE of the pastry, because NO ONE bakes a small plastic baby INSIDE the cake, and only an IDIOT would say that anyone ever has.

Check it out: this donut still has its center!

Btw, I'm going to show you a funny cake now...

Tee-hee! Funny!

...but we're going to ignore that and focus instead on the cultural, economic, and quantum mechanical differences between "Cajuns" and "people who live in Louisiana." Because this is a humor blog, gosh dang it, and that is very, VERY relevant.

And finally, my friends, we're really going to need an Avatar cake with Mardi Gras masks on it.

Just 'cuz.


Theeeere we go.

Let the deep-fried PAPTY begin!

Many sprinkle-covered thanks to Amy S., Kathlyne B., Linda, Dora L., Berny B., Auntie N., Georgia F., & Samantha G., who all know better than to ever assume a humor blogger might be a) joking, b) sarcastic, and/or c) fully aware of the fact that most King Cakes are not deep-fried OR donuts and just thought it was funny and had no idea cake was suddenly such a serious business and don't mind this facial tic I just need to have a bit of a lie-down now if that's alright with you.

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Reader Comments (212)

Aw Jen I just love you! Thanks so much for all the laughs. I didn't wade into the hip-deep chocolate icing blobs that was yesterday's comment section but I got it enough to appreciate today's commentary.

(And to think I abandoned Awkward Family Photos because the 'Baby-Pee-Photoshop' controversy was too much drama. Wow.)

wv: platics: Ugh, this baby tastes like platics.

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJay

Am I the only one that saw swastikas on the 6th cake?

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKathy

Papty is my new favorite word.

WV: Bleab. Bleab is what I utter after waking up having paptied too hard the night before.

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristie

Just died a little bit from laughter! People are so sensitive. Geesh!

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

You guys rock. So does Kermit. Wreck on!

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

Deep-fried plastic toy baby Jesus. I just had to try that phrase all together.

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAuntie Meme

We all appreciate the pearls of wisdom posted here by Prof. Frankenfurter and friends.

J&J, to be considerate of their valuable time (which would doubtless otherwise be spent volunteering in soup kitchens and conducting cancer research), perhaps you should adopt a "truth in humo(u)r" policy, akin to the "truth in poetic license" policy used by Terry Pratchett:

Ankh-Morpork!
The Pearl of Cities!
This is not a completely accurate discription, of course- it was not round and shiny- but even its worst enemies would agree that if you had to liken Ankh-Morpork to anything, then it might as well be a piece of rubbish covered with the diseased secretions of a dying mollusk.

And yes, this is in fact, sarcasm.

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJohn (not hoJ)

Jen and John (hubby of Jen) et al - I'm *still* laughing at the Kermit flail from yesterday.

EVen as I type the words 'Kermit flail' I snigger. I am going to work it into one of my lessons tomorrow...

much love to you wrecky geniuses

Jenni
xxx

wv: intaina (in southern US accent) these cake wrecks gals and guys sure do intaina

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Cloudy
English pancakes are not as thin as French crepes but are nowhere near as thick as American ones...but are the size of your frying pan and so are thin, but not lacy. They are rolled up with fillings, and can be sweet or savoury, but are best with a squeeze of lemon and sugar. and the rule is, the first one is always rubbish.

Jenni
(still giggling over Kermit flail)

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The sarcasm is full of awesome. I love you guys!

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessica Beaudoin

thanks for making me piss myself laughing in a public computer lab. I now have to change schools.

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterxeevee

I am a daily reader, and oh lordie, yesterday was wackery that will live on in infamy!

Get your deep-fried parpy on! We're here for you, John and Jen. We'll always be here.......
/creepyvoice

WV: inbwate - like ingrate, but inbred too!

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJestheCakeEater

Joking, sarcasm, and reality aside...Jen, you rock!

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie

BEST POST EVER!!!

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMy name is Michelle.

Dear Jen, john, and Number 1

Keep up the good work, this post made me laugh out loud.

If you ever do a post about ugly traditional Aussie cakes (and I've seen a few ugly Lamingtons around) I'll have a good laugh, and if you get one of our traditions wrong, I'll sit back and wait for the Aussie Epcot, and laugh some more.

Kermit flailingly yours,

Wolverine Girl

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWolverine Girl

I want to buy Jen, John #1 and everyone else associated with Cake Wrecks several rounds of Hurricanes, shake everyone's hand, bow down and bask in your glory. This is the best set down I have ever had the pleasure to read. As someone else phrased it, "yesterday's debacle and today's bitch slap." Thanks guys!

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMadTigerKitty

I heart Cakewrecks! It's my happy place :)

Jen, John and number 1, you do an amazing job. The real wreckies appreciate you... along with a good papty and a Kermit flail every now and then!

aaauuugggghhh! Creepy butterfly/mask cake is coming for me!

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlma

Smiles for yesterday and today. Let the good times roll! Papty on!!!!

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnn of tn

who's winning the bet? a wager to guess the amount of comments. Does the winner get a dozen deep fried donuts? Did you make a drinking game...a shot for everytime someone says cajun, king cake, deep fried? Gotta do something to fill your time in the Epcot bunker!

Keep the laughter coming!

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjen

PAPTY HAPTY!

Yep -- that definitely beats "party hearty."

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

Wow, last one was the best - LOL!

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCrystal

Just remember: Any cake can be a Wreck with one easy step...Deep Frying.

~Eve S. D'ropper, of http://wordsfromthehallway.blogspot.com

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEve S. D'ropper

the donuts to cupcakes one is a pair of Mardi Gras glasses.

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

h\Has anyone tried making pancakes with whole wheat flour?

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeleni Smith

And now, in honor of Madrid Gris, a bedroom inspired by a king cake!

Yes, you heard right. King. Cake. Bed. Room.

PS: Don't bother if you're one the noobs from yesterday. You won't think its funny...

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/boston/bedroom/the-kings-cake-bedroom-purple-green-yellow-141004

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaitlyn

"I just need to have a bit of a lie-down"
PLEASE tell me this is an IT Crowd reference! Because if you haven't seen (and fallen in love with) that show, you must now, now, now! It is chock-full of geeky goodness! :)

Alisa

Word verification: sated. As in, these King Cake wrecks have sated my craving for pukey looking cakes.

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteralisa68

Today's page is funnier than yesterday. I truly enjoy making fun of the crazies, too.

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPaula

I'm soooo glad you guys write this blog and not me b/c I would have ripped those fact toting mardi gras king cake Louisiana New Orleans deep fried freaks a "new one!" Senses of humor are obviously in short supply these days! I love you! I love cake! I love funny! And I love you being funny about cake! Parpy on Garth!

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterC-squared

NOTE: This is ugly.

In a deep-fried kind of way.

WIN!!!

BEST.POST.EVER.

jules

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The "Mardi Gra" is a special type of women's lingerie. It is made of multi-colored satin (green, gold & purple). It is worn by women who want to lift their shirts during the parade, but retain some modesty, while still being festive.

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOVED this post! Much better than just letting it go. And I will never throw a party again, from here on out it's PAPTY TIME!

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenericFN

BEST.POST.EVER.

(Is it safe to come out of the bunker yet?...No?...I think we're gonna need a bigger bunker!)

-Barbara Anne

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So do you guys keep a big world map pinned to the wall in the Epcot shelter, and just add pushpins to the areas that are no longer safe to relate to humorous cakes?

The "Deep Fried Thoughts" title of this post had me out of the chair, on the floor in stitches of laughter. I knew where this was going. Thanks for never letting me down!

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

I have to wonder if people EPCOTify this blog on purpose, knowing that we will all reap the comedic rewards the next day?

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMC

At least you're getting paid for it ;)

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbejay

Not to stir up more controversy, but...is that a swirly swastika on one of the cupcakes? Oh dear...

Papty on!

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

As a long time New Orleanian I take great offense at this, and yesterday's posts!

Not really. Actually, not at all. Ya'll are hysterical and most King Cakes do suck and look terrible.

I'm far too exhausted right now, having just gotten in from runnin' around the French Quarter having fun and trying to avoid King Cakes, to say much more on the subject except Happy Mardi Gras you all. Wish you could have been here.

P.S. I got a picture of a great King Cake costume someone wore today. I'll post the picture on facebook once I recover a bit.

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElly

The party time cake looks like a cookie! Yummo

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I have loved a great many of your posts, but none quite so much as this. So bold, so funny, so dark. Your next deep fried melted baby cake is on me. If I can find one. I'm told there's no such thing.

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

I love your blogs. This one makes me laugh daily and I can always use a laugh. I had to give up reading your comments some time ago, though; because there are too many and I have no time to get through them all. Today I had to go back and see what the fuss was about...all I can say is, keep doing what you do and if people don't like it no one is forcing them to keep reading!
BTW to quote Gina "I heart you"

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

OMG- I just figured out what King Cake is good for: luring trolls out into the light and skewering their sorry hineys!!

Rock on.

-Barbara Anne

(Yeah, I'm slow on the uptake sometimes but I do get there. Thanks for waiting on me to catch up!)

wv: unciv
those trolls be dam unciv- it's huntin' time

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Well, I think we'd all understand if Jen and co. decide to give up moderating comments on their blog for Lent!

You guys need a well-deserved break after this week. :-)

March 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I fear the maker of that first cake. Sadly I would still probably eat it due to the fact it is cake lol and other than the horrid gel like substance on top I think it would be delicious.

March 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

You guys just rescued the Internet for me. Keep on Wreckin'! : D

March 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKiwi

Lol! Jen, while still here in the Epcot Memorial fall-out shelter (slumber party!!!), I'll save some pralines for you too!
*but could you bring me some more Diet Dr Pepper? Thanks =D

March 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterakprincess72

I have no words!! Only tears of joy!! I am so happy that you told yesterday's whiners to shove it in your own fantastic way. Your sarcasm is so absolutely perfect!! I fully admit to skipping over pictures today just so I could read your next comment. I love this blog!!!! I will be a fan for life!!

March 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDaya

Here’s the thing: I’m a Christian...but did Auntie Meme’s comment of “Deep-fried plastic toy baby Jesus. I just had to try that phrase all together” offend me? Oh no, dear ones. Not at all. I had to do the world’s fastest hand-covering-mouth to keep from waking my entire sleeping family with the laughter that would have been ear-splitting in its intensity. Because I understand and appreciate awesome humor.

@MC Jen’s critics aren’t that smart. Unfortunately for us.

Jen…dearest Jen…Trekkie after my own heart Jen: I think TODAY'S set of comments should solidify in your deepest soul-corner that you have the coolest, most supportive and BESTEST reader-fans. EVAR. :)

March 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAshlee L.

Jen, take a deep breath and don't stress too much. The trolls need to remember that they don't *have* to read Cake Wrecks. Or comment. The rest of us are more than happy to enjoy your posts and appreciate what you do. (Is that culturally insensitive to trolls? Oops.)

I stayed at work too late to go to the church pancake supper and I'm wishing I'd had a couple DEEP FRIED http://www.examiner.com/dessert-restaurant-in-honolulu/desserts-101-where-are-the-best-malassada-on-oahu" rel="nofollow">malasadas today - although recently it's become politically correct to say http://the.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/2008/Feb/08/ln/hawaii802080362.html" rel="nofollow">malassada instead. I grew up knowing the word with one s but I don't actually care how it's spelled as long as it tastes good. And yes, I linked to a couple of news sites instead of Wikipedia because we know those are always reliable... :P

BTW, a co-worker was eating Corn Nuts yesterday, and I realized that I'll never think of them quite the same way again thanks to Cake Wrecks and Sandra Lee. You've changed my life!

March 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

It appears that some, who posted yesterday, still do not get this blog today. Apparently, they must be right no matter how ignorant it makes them look.

Good blog today. Love you guys.

March 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

Hmmm... every King Cake I have ever had a bite of had that tiny plastic baby baked INTO the cake. I've never seen one with the baby on top, because where's the suspense in that?

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