My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Window Pain

Bakers, in case it's been a while, this is your friendly reminder to go ahead and spruce up those window display cakes. After all, without them the customers might have to rely solely on your signage to evaluate your baking skills:

And nobody wants that.

("I'll take a Sahara and two small Mojaves, please.")

Now, your display cakes say a lot about your bakery. Ideally, you want these things to be positive, like "Look! Our cakes don't show the dirt at ALL!"

Or, "Yes, we CAN cut out small pieces of paper!"

Or even just "Divorce!" written in German:

Your displays also showcase the things that are most important to your bakery.

Like spelling:

And the fact that you never make the same mistake more than twice:

And finally, remember: when it comes to drawing in potential customers, you can never go wrong with a really good wizard cake:

Guaranteed to work like magic.

Thanks to Elizabeth R., Mary I., Erin Z., Kate, Catherine C., & C.M., who think that last window might have a few kinks to work out.

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Reader Comments (91)

Well I think the dino cake is cute...

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

TexAirhead, you took the words right out of my mouth. I'm not sure what it says about me, but the spaghetti bothers me more than anything else in that picture.

Great blog today. As my lovely Brit wife says, "You made I larf".

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermin

My son just asked me if that last one was a "death cake".

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

The hiding behind (or from) the Dominatrix cake. Wow. Just. Wow.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

*giggle* Kinks to work out....

I was thinking of getting a marmaid cake for my daughter!

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElisabeth

The wizard cake? That was fine. What the heck is with the dominatrix/masochist cake??
Jeez Louise!!! I'm sorry I clicked on the pic to see it better. And I hope the hair on the right side of the window was a reflection of someone outside.
::gagging a little::
Thanks for keeping me on my diet.
--Blondie's Mom

wv: Never serve urgast a cake from this bakery.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

And what the heck's with the spaghetti?
"Oh crap we have to put something in the window to distract the kids from the S & M cake. Uhhh...just throw a plate of bisketti in there, that'll do it."
--Blondie's Mom

wv: messing. 'Nuff said.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Re the dominatrix cake, what has the guy got in his hand? Is that a...

a. Tube of toothpaste
b. breakfast burrito polish for the peg leg?
d. none of the above

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterfullnovembermoon

uummm... wondering why oh why anyone would put spagetti in a display case! It better be some awsome pasta!

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

In the Maswik Cafeteria at the South Rim of the Grand Canyon, there was a large sign above the center of the food service area that pointed the way to various offerings, including a helpful arrow directing you to the "Deserts". Sadly, judging by recent pictures online, they've remodeled and the sign is now gone. Oddly enough, if you go in the approximate direction the arrow points, leaving the main road, crossing into the adjacent Kaibab National Forest, and continuing on Forest Service roads, you will find yourself leaving the forest and entering a desert area.

wv: wineses - Gollum's tipple of choice, or the true cause of many of these wrecks.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVolcano

Haha, the first one reminds me of when my mom wrote 'deserts' on the shopping list instead of 'desserts'. I teased her about it, naturally. ;)

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Hellooo? Is everybody blind? The S&M cake as an even worse horror. Has nobody noticed that Peggy is also right armless? And I don't think its because it fell off by itself. How do you top an amputee fetish cake for pure bad taste. Who are these people???
Jill from Cape Town

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Been thinking about it and I'm still stumped.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Definitely taken aback at the "Wizard cake" (thinks, hey that's not a wizard, it's Epcot!), then had another look and realised that the cake in the back of the photo is a really poor interpretation of a beautiful wizard one by Debbie Brown. See for a pic of a good version of it. I've made it before, and it was a heap of fun, especially the little details like the mouse, the candlesticks and the potion bottles.

MC from NZ

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was beginning to think I was the only one thinking WTF about the Scheidungstorte.
I'm with Trevor. I do not get this cake either. Is that a _puppy_?!? on that cake?!? um... a birdhouse?
Is this a cake of Life?
@Anne, sorry, what's a "Wauzi"?

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

I'm guessing they didn't get an A for "effort." That last cake- why would you ever want to advertise that?

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTitle Loans

I'm curious why the 1-armed, peg-legged dominatrix is carrying around baseballs in her bustier, because those things sure aren't breasts.

And what's going on with the divorce cake? I seriously need Craig to comment and explain this to me!

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Right. Wizard. That's what I saw, too.

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEG

What is in the Dominatrix's mouth? Is that why his hand is in the nether regions? Go Look !!!!

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

#1 Maybe this is a chain; stores are only located amidst the very best tumbleweeds and cacti.

#2 I immediately went to 'Was Not Was', so there.

#3 I like how the images aren't faded at all, proving that this thing is fresh as a...daisy.

#4 He gets the birdhouse (probably to live in) and whatever those other two things are; she gets the dog and whatever those other two things are behind it. I just assumed the figure in the middle was one of the lawyers. BTW: Wikipedia defines German words in German; Fact Police, beware.

#5 Wall, hail, if it ain't 'ThE LittLe MARMAid'! The title on the back suggests that the front requires decoding; this could be at least a double wreck. Frontal photo, anyone?

#6 I was wondering about the "same mistake twice" commentary until I noticed that this is at the same place as #5 (doh!). At least this cake is consonant with the other one.

#7 Could this be the 'erotic bakery' referenced by Scott Meyer in the back story to the seminal 'Fireman Cake'?

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

um, it seriously disturbs me that I thought the dominatrix cake was hysterical and not wtf...

the Little Marmaid cake? well, everyone knows Disney will sue for any copyright infringement...

btw, they were all out of Saharas so I got you a nice Death Valley. :D

-Barbara Anne

April 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Lmao that last cake.. really? I wonder just who thought that was a good idea to display? And erm why is there a wizard there? Lol do I even want to know?

April 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

@ Ninja Dude 11 - was a good thing I read this at night and didn't have a mouthful of coffee!

First pic - I think I'm more disturbed that it looks like the sign is displayed on a wall at Value Village - is that for sale???

I think that Peggy's right arm is in the gimp's left hand - take a look and you can see it fell off her and what they just thought - hey I know let's put it in his right hand since the left is well um otherwise occupied?!

April 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Wow...that last cake was very Robert Mapplethorpe-esque. We can all assume that particular cake wasn't in a window in North Carolina....or anywhere near Jesse Helms' estate!

(Am I showing my age??? I did my photography thesis on the Helms/Mapplethorpe controversy...)

The spelling on that SpongeBob cake was the least of its problems, if you ask me. Ha!

April 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBhakti

The mystery of the scheidung cake continues. A search* for relevant terms did not shed any light on the meaning of the symbols on the present cake, but it did take me on a tour of German picture sites I never knew existed, resulting in a whole new list of things to un-see. Cake Wrecks finds ways to mess with our heads, even off-site.

*No, I did not use Wikipedia.

wv: rengshi. Like Feng Shui, but it applies specifically to the design of cryptic divorce cakes.

April 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I think the sign in the first post is a reference to their customers, and not to their products. Their customers, whom they serve, are quality deserts.

Clearly, the bakers are sucking up to them. However, if the Gobi Desert comes all the way to your store, you want it to feel good about it's visit.... so long as it doesn't track in too much sand.

April 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

it's so pretty..@^@

April 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Babel fish translated the German thusly:
' Ne divorce cake, one, I schmeiß me away *kicher*; I attempt the straight Figürchen to determine, could recognize however only the Wauzi. Who sees more?
I'm guessing a Wauzi is a doxie?
Maybe Caroline B knows. BTW she and Janellionaire made my coffee do a neti-pot. Please schmeiß more kichers.
PS On second look, I kinda like the dino cake too...a Rite of Spring type of thing...
--Blondie's Mom

wv: ziess!

April 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

who puts that in CAKE form!?!?!?!

April 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjen bryner

Okay, stores rearrange products without changing all the signs. But why is there a soap dispenser in the product display under "quality deserts"?

April 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I've been pondering this all day and i'm sorry to say gimpie looks like he's holding a napkin with a pile of poo. or maybe a pile of chocolate mousse. yes thats more like it.

why has my blackberry turned off capitals????

April 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I can't believe nobody figured out that last cake. They are doing a scene from a Terry Goodkind book. She is called a Mord Sith. Its a fantasy series that is quite good. I'm suprised that Jen hasn't read them.

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterErica

I guess the Spngbob cake decorator just didn't want to buy a vowel!

Hello? Is this thing on?

Plus: Why is everyone so down on differently-abled dominatrices with budget boob jobs wanting to have their cake and dominate it too? Sheez. I'm pretty sure the wizard is giving it his blessing.

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love me a good S&M cake--who doesn't?!?

April 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer


April 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What, who would want that?

April 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Not sure that this is a Mord Sith scene from the "Sword of Truth" series. First, the Mord Sith wore RED leather to hide the blood. Second, they didn't use whips, they used Ageil (magic rod that cause pain for those who haven't read the books). And third, the victims didn't have their mouths zipped shut. the Mord Sith wanted to hear the screams and begging.

Sorry, have to go with "just a creepy BDSM cake" here. And it is very creepy and strange and definitely on my "things that can never be unseen" list. Yet I keep looking back at it to try and figure out more details...

April 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen

That last cake is a scene from a 1994 Rosie O'Donnell movie, Exit to Eden.

Either way, both are something you wish could be un-seen.

WV: nubad-If nubad, nu get a spanking

May 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am surprised that no one figured out that the Little MARmaid is this lonely girl from Mars, and her cake should have been an arid red landscape and not "under the sea." Someone messed up here!

August 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDelia

I see Cthulhu in the last cake.

August 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKimberlea

So I know this isn't at all what you were trying to get across in the last picture, but is that SPAGHETTI next to the wizard cake? How's that for a weird display...

August 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

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