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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Apr262011

Paper View

Edible paper. Edible paper. EDIBLE PAPER!! Amaze your friends! Astound your coworkers! All you need is...EDIBLE PAPER!!!


(The following message is brought to you by the National Board of Edible Paper and Non-edible Babies.)

Hey there, baker! Lonely sheet cakes got ya down?

 

 

[defeated trombone slide]

No worries. Now you can turn this:

"Boo! That's so BORING and PHOTOLESS!"

...Into THIS!

"Wow! Is that paper? That you can EAT??"

Yes, it is! And now your bakery can make literally trillions of dollars with a little help from this fabulous product, known as...

EDIBLE PAPER!!!

With Edible Paper (and our conveniently included vehicle clip-art starter pack), you can...

 

 

Cut costs!

---What better, more cost effective way is there to celebrate a bride-to-be's journey than with...

 

 

...recreational vehicle clip-art?

With a few roses and a stick figure bride, this shower cake is ready to roll!

 

 

Save time!

---Why waste precious hours fumbling with piping bags when it takes only a second to hit "Print?"


And it's still just as meaningful.

 

It's EASY!

---No artistic talent? No problem!! Hearts are difficult to draw, but an edible hearse is just a keystroke away!

 

Death becomes it!

 

Yes, with Edible Paper, you are only limited by your Imagination*!

 

*Imagination clip-art packs sold separately.
Now, don't put away that "Eternal Rest" photo pack just yet; when a customer asks you to "just make it nice ," it's really your time to shine!
You can rest in peace knowing your customer is happy.

 

 

Do you love fried chicken? I mean, LOVE love it? But not so much that you want to eat anything that actually tastes like fried chicken? Then you're in luck!

It's finger lickin' great!

 

Edible Paper!
EDIBLE PAPER!
EDIBLE PAPER!!!

Edible Paper. Transforming your baby shower cakes from this...

Into this:

You're welcome.

 


Thanks to Susan H., Liana E., Nathan S., Dana H., Taryn, Kerry M., Adam D., Wendy M., Mollie B., who think these cakes look pretty tearable.

 

« Annual Wreckage Review | Main | Passover These Wrecks »

Reader Comments (90)

That sonogram cake looks like the big alien eating the little alien that pops out of its mouth.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDarkPrincess

I don't know about all of you but I'm going to run out and invest in one of those edible paper companies right now! (Seriously, if "The Graduate" was being made those two words would be "edible paper." I hear there's a great future in it.)

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJ.

Wow. I've never seen a sonogram of the actual conception before. That's really getting ahead of the game!

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbarn

Is it bad that I read that post with the voice of "wacky wavy inflatable arm flailing tube man" in my head?

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterthesacredandtheprofane

That's probably how my friend got the Jonas Brothers on her birthday cake.

I was embarrassed to be at that party...

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPeaceLoveandSharpies

"Good luck" with a HEARSE??? I don't think they want that guy to fail, they want him to REALLY fail!

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That fried chicken photo really made my morning. Stopped the munchies dead. Ugh.

wv: angste
These cakes generate a lot of angste.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

Edible Paper on sale this sunday Sunday SUNDAY!!!

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLindsay

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! I totally lost it at the casket cake. Now I have to figure out how to sneak one of those into my next sibling's birthday party...

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterQueen Julian XIII

@barn I'm so glad I wasn't the only one to think that. I feel like (slightly) less of a perv now.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterUsagi

I'm horrified that any of those decorators looked at those cakes and said, yup, that's good work!

I really hope my store doesn't start doing that. We don't have a photo transfer machine so I guess it's a given that we won't do the edible paper thing.

I bet it tastes nasty.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterColleen

Every single time my faith in humanity dies a tiny bit. Someone at one point really thought these things were a good idea *shudders

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGali

Every time I think "nah, it can't get any worse than [insert odd cake], I'm SO, SO WRONG.

A casket? A hearse? A box of questionable chicken? What, they couldn't spring for the KFC at least?

I don't even have words for how very odd these are.

Captcha: monsta Only a blind monsta could think these cakes are ok!

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimmie

@thesacredandtheprofane: yes! I was just about to make that comment myself!

It's the WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM-FLAILING TUUUUUBE MAN!

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMay

I've been reading these for a long time, and that TV dinner cake is one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen. The colors! The image of greasy fake chicken on frosting! I'm going to have to stop reading until this pregnancy is over...

Ah, but my WV is "readue" - I have to readue every day, regardless of the risks!

Yuck. I have enough fiber in my diet, thankyouverymuch.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

The fried chicken cake made me gag. No way would I eat that. Yech!

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

Oh, and this post gives a whole new perspective on the phrase "gallows humor."

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

I just sat here at my desk and said:

"Whah-whaaaah." (but - you know - imagine it all nasally)

Not the first time a Cake Wrecks post has caused a crack in my fraudulent mask of professional behaviour.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterania

I'm going to order one that says "This page intentionally left blank."

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn in Superior

Are we sure that is a human baby in the last cake!?

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatherine S

I was just wishing Taryn good luck in her new job as a hearse driver when I got to the casket cake. I actually jerked back in my chair. I grew up in the funeral business (explains a lot) and I was disgusted by that cake.

Then I got to the sonogram and I was whatever you call one step beyond disgusted. @barn, saw what I saw, so I know it's not just me!

WV: godymiz: Godymiz the tastefully decorated cakes of my youth.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

ROTFL!!!!! Great narration, as always, to these awful, awful wreckies. THANK you!!

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

What on earth are people asking for???? D:

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I can't help but point out there are SIX candles on the casket cake. Please tell me nobody would do that to a six year old...

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have been to kids birthday parties with edible paper photos on the cakes and they do taste terrible. I think it tastes like black pepper!

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNiki

great commercial!

is Karla marrying the motorhome? where's the stick figure groom?

Felicia and Perry are getting hitched. To what? Each other? a trucking business? that nuclear green icing is really unappealing.

Taryn! good luck for WHAT? in the afterlife? as a funeral director? with her snazzy new budget used-hearse wheels?

Is Hampton turning 6? is he the son of a funeral director? WHY IS THERE AN OPEN CASKET ON HIS CAKE???

These cakes disturb me more than the gross ones. how creepy!

Now why do routine medical exams require cake? do people have ultrasound parties now? wait until you see 3D ultrasound cakes (and you thought edible babies were creepy)

The chicken cake makes me wonder...did the baker accidentally put their lunch package on the printer and decided not to waste the printout? who wants a cake with a package of chicken on it? seriously? who are these bakers/customers???

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I wonder if you can eat edible paper right out of the package. And how many bakers tried that... (human impression of a goat)

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Can one still buy um.. edible undies?
Oh the possibilities.
Sweet and what? Lewd?
Mocking

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The Banquet cake amuses me -- clearly it's for someone who LOVES fried chicken. I appreciate how the baker tried to match the box colors with the frosting and "happy birthday" script.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

One of the MANY reasons I HATE the guy from Cake Boss: He's obsessed with edible paper! He used it on a cake for OPRAH! Good grief.
Also his cakes are hideous compared to the ones posted here every Sunday.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKrickette

I'm in love with the casket cake (and i wouldn't put it past my family to give it to me, either)... but an edible sonagram? 0.o ((whimpers))

Remember, wreckers: just because something is possible, that does not mean you need to try it!

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLibby

These cakes need sprinkles.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

I'm trying to think of a situation in which somebody would actually want a coffin on a birthday cake.

Nope, can't think of one.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

The voice in my head while reading this post was the same guy in the Monster Truck Rally commercials.

And regarding the fried chicken cake, I'm sure the customer asked them to make a cake that looks "just like fried chicken - like on Ace of Cakes ya know?"

wv "remoub" It's going to take some effort to remoub that last cake from my mind.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

I think the time has come to blame the consumer. Some customers actually asked for these and now we must be subjected to them.
It's a sad state of affairs we have found ourselves in.

sigh.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLolaKatz

I am very glad to know that I am not the only one who saw what I was not supposed to see in the Sonogram Cake. That Sonogram tech must be Kinky!

wv: I can't believe that Sonogram tech was trying to take an image of the sparms before the conception.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKiriD

I hope the "Good Luck" cake is for a budding mortician ... but I doubt it.

WV: "drotten". No further explanation neeeded.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterladycrim

#1 (following examples b & a): Is Karla 5? Is the happy couple going to live in the RV? Now refusing to follow that line of inquiry...

#2 Felicia and Perry could be truckers, I suppose -- there are quite a few couples doing that.

#3 Please tell me Taryn just entered the funeral business. Though I scarcely think 'good luck' is needed -- that's one line of work where a shortage of business is not a problem. 'Death becomes it', indeed.

#4 Hampton the Hampster, perchance? No, I am NOT implying anything sinister happened to that most unlikely of media stars, just playing off the name. We good?

#5 Mmm. Red frosting. Now that's good eats.

#6a is a classic literal. So, it would seem, is 6b. So...Got any more Passover cakes, Jen?

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

WHAT??? WTF is with the hurse and the casket?? I don't even understand how someone would make that mistake!

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen

OK, gotta comment on the clever title. "Paper view", I believe, is a take-off on pay-per-view...

Very subtle, maybe too much so, but I liked it!

wv: inife There are an inife number of ways to wreck a cake!

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

Is edible paper leavened?

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy'sMom

In the past, I never understood the comments people made about spitting coffee/breakfast on their computer screen/keyboard/cat when seized with a paroxysm of laughter.

Until today. The edible sonogram made me lose it.
\\\\\
*****
/////
*****
There - my screen looks clearer now!

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterZoe

"I WANT SPRINKLES"

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertiny purple elephant

Too hilarious! You could go into business writing infomercials! Gotta wonder what kind of logic the wreckerators were using to combine some of those pictures and captions.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

@barn, Usagi, KiriD et al
I totally did not see what you saw until you mentioned it. Now I can see nothing else. What has been seen cannot be unseen.

Although I would add that if that is the case, I think the patient has a severe case of vagina dentata.

I hope this makes it past the censors. (hi John, Jen, & #1!)

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterthesacredandtheprofane

In defense of edible paper, um... I forgot what I was going to say...

WV: (I kid you not, here, this really IS my WV) Ingests - if someone ingests enough edible paper, will he need toilet paper?

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

I know everyone else saw, uh, uhm, the moment of conception in the sonogram. But really, it looks like a raging eagle attacking Voldemort.
Don't know if that's more or less disturbing.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

For future reference:

http://www.sadtrombone.com

;)

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Freewaydiva

Like Strawberry?

how about RAWBERRY?????

Edible paper will make you run like a Kenyan.

You'll have SEVEN HUNDRED BABIES.

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly

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