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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Apr072011

Estonian Kissing Day

According to The Repository Of All Knowledge And Wisdom In Our World (aka, Wikipedia) today might be a Valentines-ish type of day in some remote corner of the world or potential worlds. In fact, I'm almost 63% sure that today is, in fact, "Kissing Day" in the western region of Estonia.

Or was that on Epsilon Ceti B II?

Whichever, the point is that I can post old Valentine's cakes without fear of the "fact" police getting all up in my cakey "business."

Now, kiss me, you piece of...chocolate!

After all, you alone hold my heart:

Not to mention my bowels.


What, still not convinced? Then allow me to inscribe a few sweet nothings for you.

[wink]

[finger gun]


[double wink + finger gun combo]

[licking fingers and smoothing eyebrows]

SO...are you a puddle of oozing desire yet?

No?

Ok, time to break out the big guns:


[tongue waggle]

(You know, whether you read that as a command or an adjective, it's equally romantic.)

[tiger pose]


[duckface]

Need I say more?

Yeah. I didn't think so.


Thanks to Meagan M., Greg M., Kimberly B., Amber T., Natsk, Amy I., Rebekah K., Michael D., & Kyra, who always talk smack when they're feeling peckish, but still refuse to give me any lip.

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Reader Comments (77)

I totally cracked up on the "Hello Gorges" cake!! LOL!

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenniffer

"Tours Truly"? Sounds like a tacky name for a tour bus company... or something.

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

The chocolate on the first photo looks like poopies. ek!

Tours truly,
Marikoy (Lol!!!)

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermarikoy

wv: allit

Allit needs is more sprinkles.

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

On the UR G8 cake...Is that Mustard? And I'm with Marikoy on the pooh thing asking for a kiss is kind of nasty.

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTina,

what a great way to start my morning :)

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterrachel

:::fanning self:::

My, my, those got me all a-quiver.

I always quiver when I'm sickened.

wv - wellym

Wellym thoroughly amused by today's post!

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

Wow. Truly remarkable. Is anyone else thinking that the "chocolates" on the "Swetie" cupcake cake (ptooie!) might be plastic flotsam? They look a bit too perfect to have been achieved by this baker.

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlaura

Actually, the 3rd cake (cookie) is for "Acknowledge a Geological Formation Day." Other popular choices are "What up, Mesas?" and "Hail, Shale."

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn in Superior

Ya know that "Hello Gorges" cake could have been from a bakery in Ithaca, NY, where people have bumper stickers that say "Ithaca Is Gorges."

[Btw, ever since your post disparaging and categorizing us commenters, every time I leave a comment now I wonder which category you are mentally putting me into. I think today I fall into "Know It All," and not in a good way. :-O]

P.S. The verification word is "inizatio" which sounds like something dirty in Estonian.

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJ.

Man, don't you just hate it when you're in the middle of a huge piping project and you can't for the life of you remember what a capital letter Y looks like? And you try to stumble through with ur txt spk and a complete absence of adverbs, but then you get to the cookies that are supposed to say "Yours Truly" and you're completely stuck! So you furrow your brows and scratch your head and drool a little until you remember what a lowercase "y" looks like-- but that's only half the problem! How on earth are you supposed to extrapolate the shape of a capital "Y" from a lowercase "y"? You chew your thumbnail and rub your eyes and stroke your chin (all at the same time) until you start to picture it... there's a vertical line with... something on top? Suddenly it comes to you in a flash of brilliance: lowercase "y" has a little "v" shape on top, so obviously the top of capital "Y" must be a "-"! Genius! You've saved Val.ntine Day!

wv: lunatick (yes, really)

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Okay the cakes were hilarious but your comments crack me up... honestly Jen - "cakey business"? hahahaha

You're fnunny. And I mean that. it's prounounced 'fu-noon-ee', all the kids are saying it, you'll see.

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterschmaimz

Love them!...Although the Gorges one makes a little sense if it comes from the bakery in the pacific northwest. There is a place in Washington State called the Gorges, and all sorts of puns have been made...remind me why I am being serious...hmmm Oh well
-Tours Truly
Me

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

"Duckface!" I nearly swallowed my gum!
WV: whica. i.e. Religion you have to use to conjure up some of these wrecks.

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wut the...

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I looked on-line (as in Google search) and there are a bunch of National and International Kissing Days. So, I guess everyday could be considered kissing day somewhere, so feel free to post Valentine's cakes whenever you want! It's OK 'cuz I said so.

wv: squipse: song that could be playing in the background "Total Squipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

Loved the "swetie" (translated in my world as "sweatie")cake!

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Is that "Swetie" cake covered in plastic bonbons? Why not put real ones on there instead of those iridescent bits of flotsam?

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterZombie Edward

Yay, cake No.2! Finally a confection to celebrate impacted colons!

wz - squized - that blockage needs to be squized out....

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

"Yr G8"? Man, does someone have to now figure out spellcheck for Txt speak?

Of course, it could be a correct quick note reminder to close the barn door.

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Oops. Mea Culpa. That was "UR G8" -- gotta watch my own yard here.

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

"Tongue waggle" made me cry. Just sayin'.

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Hee Hee Hee

Wait...is that poo trying to kiss me?

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

I bet someone tried to throw that second cake away but it kept coming back around.

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

You know, the chocolate frosting on those first two cakes looks like big piles of Epcot.

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Maybe UR G8 is a vailed (very very) vailed reference to Ghostbusters. UR G8 KPR? They just didn't have room for the KPR!

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKiriDeathstalker

A cake for the G8 Summit?

WV: premerie = Wreckish for "premiere."

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Today's Laugh:

BUHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAA! COUGH! SNORT! HAHAHAHA!

I love the healing power of laughter <3

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlisa.sakoda

I'm Estonian in Estonia but I didn't see any major kissing action anywhere today tho..
We DID have the Hug an Estonian Day on February 24..
So I went on Wikipedia to investigate. It said: Did you mean: estonian killing day
I did not, so I dropped the investigation so I wouldn't find anything more disturbing...

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMari

Isn't it sweet? The intestines and poo have come together in (sort of) heart-shape to tell you they love you!

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMTGrace

oh.. WESTERN part of Estonia. yeah, those are some crazy people. the things they say about snow make dialectologists make a happy dance.
Although my Western-Estonian partner of two years hasn't said anything about any kissing days..

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMari

J. (@ 10:09) - I was just getting ready to publish a comment about Ithaca being Gorges when I read your comment. Thanks for taking the "Know It All" bullet for me. Your sacrifice is appreciated.

MariaTeresa

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Those first two cakes definitely need clown heads! And lots of 'em!

wv - hoggem: to keep them all to yourself

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

Wow, Mari, I hope there's not an Estonian Killing Day. Whether that means a day to kill Estonians or a day when Estonians kill, it's still bad.

I'd be happy to hug you and the rest of the population of Estonia, though.

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

The finger gun and Tongue waggle made me laugh. The comments along with the cakes are so darn funny.

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary

such a funny post! I could just picture you doing all of the actions. lol

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarli

I want to go on a truly tour.

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdorably Dead

ROTFLMAO!! Oh, my...gasping for breath...you've done it again!

So funny!

(finger gun)

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Oh man, "Hello Gorges"!
If I ever go back to working for that rafting company in WV (which operates in the New River Gorge and the Gauley, which is also in a gorge), that will be my going-away cake.

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEmor

This post KILLED me today!

I'll be sending the mortuary bill to you.

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

If I saw the "UR G8" cake, I would have bought it for my totally nerdy, text savvy 4th grade son, who is quite proud of his GATE status. LOL.

Sheri in CA

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNate's Mom

oh my! my dear daughter came over to the computer to see what i was crying / laughing about. Saw the first cake and said " ewww who'd wanna kiss that?"
Thanks Jen and John( husband of Jen) for such a great place to harvest some laughs.

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

Thanks! I soooo needed a good laugh today. You guys are the best!

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRU

Ha, they're doing it wrong! It's supposed to be "Bee mine" Or leave it "Be mine" but include a picture of a bee :)

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

Laugh out loud!

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMicalah

The 'fact' police getting all up in your cakey 'business', Jen? Whatever made you come up with that excellent line?

Wikipedia is edited by the sort of people who read things on the Internet and simply must corr... just answered my question.

#1 If Kisses looked like that, Hershey would be out of business.

#2 Indeed. The swirls aren't helping. Trust me.

#3 'Gorges'? On an iced sugar cookie, yet. I would bet that the majority of guys who saw that in the display case laughed at the thought of buying it, then visualized the likely reaction and walked away whistling innocently.

#4 @Tina, that definitely looks like mustard. The work of Mrs. Cropley lives on!

#5 This is what happens when people work in swet-shop conditions.

#6 I must point out that 'Sun Shin' sounds more Korean that Estonian. I wouldn't call the Fact Police, but someone else might.

#7 Yuck.

#8 Why is there more than one 'Tours Truly'? Is there a machine that spits these things out? I wonder why that idiom came to mind.

#9 It's so... that is, I... er...

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Oh! Beautiful cakes! I liked this!

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBlog

I swear to god, I thought at first that last cake had to tiny uteruses on it.

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTheresa

I'm glad I am neurotic about reading the comments first before posting. Otherwise, I would have been asking what that first cake was all about....*that* was supposed to be a candy Kiss. Thanks, Craig. I never would have gotten that.

That last one looks like Mrs. Joker.

Oh my! What happened to the wv?! It looks like that Sachertorte Epcot. I seriously don't know if I can make that out....nope. Trying again....

Andrea

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

UR G8 could be a private message to a Stargate fan. You know, like "UR G8 or mine?" No? Didn't think so either.
TXRed

April 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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