My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Words Get in the Way

My friends, there's an epidemic sweeping our nation's bakeries that I think you should know about: SPATIAL AWARENESS DISORDER.

And believe me, it's SAD.

It starts innocently enough.

First you might notice a few odd gaps in their writing:

Then they run out of room:

Then they decide to just keep going:

The next thing you know, the bakery's sense of scale is swinging wildly from one extreme to another, ranging from the microscopic:

To the titanic:

"We had to bake three more cakes to fit it all in, but we made it!"

Occasionally a wreckerator might recognize that s/he's made a mistake:

Thereby making it worse.

In its final stages, the SAD affect can get doubly bizarre:

Bakers lose all sense of gravity, distance, and direction...

...and even more disturbing: appropriate word placement.

To this day, Nanny still can't look the mall Santa in the eye.

Thanks to Chris S., Rebecca M., Marina C., Rachel P., Cindy E., Marc, Trish M., & Alison for finally exposing the third rail of cake decorating.

« HB to Me! | Main | What Would Your Mother Say? »

Reader Comments (70)

@Donna M: I seriously want one of those iMoms. My six year old is making up knock-knock jokes and I'm the only one around to hear them!

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

HAHAHA! Not only did one of these cakes actually have my name (badly) written on it, but I don't think I could do half the job if I tried to write on a cake. Sometimes "SAD" is very real, and very sad! So, I leave writing to the professionals...

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermedrecgal

When I look at the eighth one, I can only see "Happy Bigamy."

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Betsy said...
My guess is that Allison is having a segregated birthday party... boys on one side and girls on the other.
What if it was a cake for two people names Allison.. each got her own side....interesting

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertiny purple elephant

I want the sixth one for all my future birthdays! That's all kinds of ridiculous awesome, hahahahaha...

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

"Bakers lose all sense of gravity, distance, and direction..."

pshaw- it's a snow globe cake. you shake it up and watch the letters and flotsam drift into new patterns. very soothing.

-Barbara Anne

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Haha, I saw Hoppy Birthday on the first cake too.

Cake #7: Did someone have twins and name them both Allison?

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKati

Oh my goodness..And I thought a doctor's handwriting was horrid on a prescription. Sheesh lol maybe doctors are actually writing on cakes now? That would just be sheer bedlam :).

May 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Loved the Kim one, that's And I thought I'd seen everything with your blog :p

May 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdorably Dead

I'd just like to get in here and say Happy Birthday to you, Jen. Thought you could get away with it, huh? It's probably only rolling into your birthday now in your timezone, but I've been celebrating in Brisbane for many hours already. When are you getting to the party?

Seriously, I hope you're treated to a less "special" birthday cake than the stunners you posted today, and I do mean "special" in that "special" P.C. way. (John - I empathise with the pressure to get it either totally right or really, really wrong!)

Thanks for another year of laughs.

May 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBron from Brisvegas

Thank you once again for making my day. :D

May 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

Does anyone know what that Miracle Strip Park cake was made for? I lived in Panama City, FL when I was 10 and 11, and there was an amusement park there called Miracle Strip. I wonder if it's still there?

May 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, I just read a comment that may have answered my question, if he/she really knows what he/she's talking about!

May 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So great! The eighth pic is kind of forgiveable since it looks like it had coconut shavings on it that pulled off as the decorator tried to write. If the bakery is anything like the one I worked at, I'm totally imagining that the customer would. not. be. talked. out. of. it.

May 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think Anna's friends (cake #3) should have sprung for a bigger cake. I don't think you entirely blame the decorator when the customer wants a message that won't fit on the cake.

May 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeigh Ann

Well personally i think the writing shouldn't overtake the greatness of a cake/ cookie/ cupcake...a wee message is enough...unless u can pull it off ;)

May 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWee Tait

This game really looks yummy :D

May 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPeter

Miracle Strip Park was awesome! I really miss that place.

May 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlicia

Now that my birthday's coming up, I'm rather glad I picked one out myself.

May 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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