My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Let's Wrap It Up

Friends, acquaintances, decorators.

There is a new bakery trend arising. One that's making me SICK. And also kind of excited. Mostly sick. But sort of excited.

The trend?


Sticking wrapped candy on finished cakes.

Now, the excitement comes into play because, hello! Candy is awesome. So putting candy on cake sounds like mixing angel giggles with a hug from a rainbow.

The disgust, however, comes from the fact that the candy is wrapped. And on a cake. Or in some cases:



IN a cake.

And digging through icing with your fingers just to unwrap a piece of chocolate that is covered in chocolate and then smooshed into chocolate sounds about as appealing as... ooh, look!

In a sweet, oozy green metallic coating!
Apparently, the more candy and flotsam you shove on top, the more "fancy" the "brownies" become.

Assuming there are actually brownies in there somewhere.



Or, if chocolate-covered chocolate in your chocolate is too much chocolate for you, there's always the paper-wrapped sugar sticks in your sprinkle-covered sugar cake approach:



So, when all else fails, and a regular ol' normal-people cake just won't cut it, go ahead and jam any and everything you can find into a plastic container:
Because America, that's why.


Thanks to today's Wreckporter wrappers Thomas P., Martha, Jo N., Sarah D., Kendra, and Matt P., who will now go forth and fetch me a Twix. No? Anyone?


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Reader Comments (110)

Come on, the brownies were titled "fancy brownies," what part of fancy didn't you get?!?

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMerges

This is an abomination. Paper. In cake. Only babies should go in or on a cake.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commentervanessa

Not grossed out because of potential germs on candy wrappers, since in my whole life I don't think I've unwrapped a candy, carefully tipped it onto a sterile plate, gone to wash my hands, and then come back to eat it (which would be the only way to avoid germs on the wrapper when eating candy normally).

TOTALLY grossed out at the oversugarification of these confections. Plus what's the point of buying a fresh bakery item if it's got a not-fresh sealed chunk'o'sugar on it?

And too often, different kinds of chocolate can conflict unless they're balanced properly. This is pure lazy gluttony, and it's icky.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

That sugar stix cake just needs the text: I WANT SPRINKLES!!!

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMags

a friend of mine accidentally ate gum with the wrapper on it today....

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I used to be a grocery store cake decorator...when we first started doing candy bar cakes, my manager would not let me unwrap the candy bars because it was a "legal issue" or a "health issue"...sounded ridiculous to me, but we ended up going to training and they told us to unwrap them finally!

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Wow now where were those cakes for my B-day this past weekend? I had a Halloween themed B-day and had to buy a bag of candy separate from the cake. I could have one stop shopped this way! :p

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterZiggyeor

If I wanted candy on (or in) my cake, I'd bake a big huge one and have a "Sven the Pool Boy" type jump out. Eye candy, and...well, nevermind. ;)

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

For all those commenting about the unsanitary wrappers...You ever have a cake or something with those plastic clowns, etc? Yea, I bet those are probably much more germified than any of those candy wrappers! How long were they sitting in a container. Did they get dusty? How many people picked them up and then put them back in that container? Yea, the candy bar wrappers don't get me as sick as the thought of plastics on a cake that have been only heaven knows where!

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdankim23

is that last one like the baker's leftovers version of a pinata? stuffed it all in a box and smack the crap out of it later?

wv: cancer. (srsly!) Eating neon yellow icing and germy candy wrapper paper will give you cancer!

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I don't know why but this is the most stomach-churning post I've seen on this site. Maybe it is, as so many have pointed out, so unsanitary. Who ARE the people that come up with these ideas?
I'm depending on angel giggles and rainbow hugs to get me past this trauma...

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarsha

Wow, America sure is weird..and don't get me wrong, I'm grateful, I never have seen anything even mildly Wrecky here in doesn't mean it ain't happening, but not that i've seen..
I'm thoroughly confused by this "trend" of putting wrapped candy on a cake..probably for "sanitary" reasons? Which begs the question...where did that 'dirty" icing come from?

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermizdarlin

Unsanitary, unsanitary, unsanitary, un.san.i.tary! (just wanted to up the count, LOL) But seriously? That's disgusting!!!

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGina

see now, why THIS post (or that last substance) doesn't get the drunken masses a mergin' to share the mantra -> *USA USA USA*..while other occurrences might..well sir that just shakes the core of my belief system too much...
too much.

by the way- have you seen these?

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHawkfeather

I don't know how I feel about having paper with my frosting. Either this is genius or lazy, but either way it just looks bad. Make sure you have plenty of napkins eating this!

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCar Title Loans

Yeah, it doesn't bother me on sanitary grounds. It bothers me on laziness grounds. Using candy in a neat cake design? Awesome. Throwing a handful of mini candy bars onto a cake -- not even bothering to unwrap them, much less arrange them -- and calling it good? WHO DOES THAT.

If I wanted to eat a handful of mini candy bars, I would just buy mini candy bars. I guess it gives you something to eat when the cake turns out to taste terrible, though.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

This is somehow worse than plastic toys or flowers. The wrapper promises something edible...but first you have to spit it out and unwrap it. I may be a purist, but I think that anything on a piece of cake or other food should be edible. Then again, none of this is good for you. Maybe plastic, foil, paper, and germs add some nutritional value.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeadChef

@Sharyn: The Laffy Taffy is crying on the inside.

Paper-wrapped sugar stick on top of your sprinkle-covered sugar cake.... Did I get it right? I had to read it three times before it clicked.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous


(In the right mood, I just might buy that last one, though. It tickles my love of the absurd.)

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermin

At first, I thought those were AA cells on that third wreck. I wonder what they charge for that. It's really rather re-volting, though I guess a case can be made that cakes and batter-ies go together.

@Anonymous @ 9:52, "whatever does not kill me makes me stranger" is the sort of comment that plays to a Nietzsche market, is it not?

No, @Donna & @Calliope, everything about King Cakes is *good*. It's *good* that they have a plastic baby inside -- if they don't, that's *good*, too. It's all *good*. Really. [Wipes sweat from brow and glances around nervously to see if ANTHONY is nearby...]

John (hoJ), since there are presently 61 comments (not counting this one) and just an unwashed handful of them that don't reference germs, are you prepared to call a Spaceship Earth? Not that there's anything wrong with that.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Fancy Brownies...Fancy should be in quotations. No doubt, those are "Fancy" Brownies.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

After analysis (of the board, not me), I see that just under 50% of the comments reference germs and the absolute number has not yet hit the threshold.

Nonetheless, using the same 'logic' that teevee anchors use to call elections before the polls actually open, I think it safe to say that S.E. status will be reached.

That is all.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

LOLOLOLOL!!! Because *america*, that's why!!

This is the most logical answer I've had all day. LOVE it.

Now I will rest easy today.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeather D.

Craig: Shall we head to the bunker just in case, then? I'll bring some sterilized jelly beans, individually wrapped.


May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I wish I could "like" my favorite comments on here - curse you Facebook for infiltrating every aspect of American culture!!!

ps- Clown heads with nut bars, seriously?

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Okay, I have seen cakes with candy added that were very cute and well-done.

One major difference... the candies were UNWRAPPED!

Seriously, the bakers (if you really wanna call them that) can't put stickers on the cake domes specifying EXACTLY the candy put inside the cake?! Would that be so hard?

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Bakers must just be fresh out of ideas :)

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMicalah

The appearance of the last squashed cake, when I zoomed in, plus all the comments about dirty wrappers got me thinking about microbes, which led to thoughts of e coli and salmonella... which automatically led to: and the other plush microbe toys on that site!

While it's a good point that I've never washed my hands after opening a wrapper, it should be noted that I hold the wrapper while downing the treat-- so clean hands don't matter because they never actually touch the candy. Also, if it's a mini bar, then they're kept clean within a larger package. Whereas at the bakery, the bigger package's opened, and who knows how many people are touching the wrapper before it gets smushed into the icing?

I think this trend is just a warning sign to keep away from the cakes. They probably taste as bad as they look anyway...

PS Anonymous@2:03, I like the way you think ;)

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

OK, I'm going insane over this. Where did "Why? Because America, that's why!" come from? This is going to go looping through my head until I have a stroke. Please save me!

wv: dessessa - Candy and cake? I think dessessa wonderful idea. :)

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@ Craig -- there is something reassuring about a web site that sings the praises of decorated cakes that also inspires philosophical musings by the readership.

WV eoffal--I find the idea of cramming candy (wrapped OR unwrapped) onto cake pretty eoffal.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Craig, I love me some King Cake! I have a whole baby collection from my good fortune of finding the baby numerous times in the cake we have at work. I was just wondering if finding the actual candy bar is LIKE finding the know, a year of good luck or whatever...

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Why do the giggling angels I hear sound like smurfs? *shudder*

wv: pyloph = Now, what do we do with this pyloph unsold easter candy ...

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

there is a sheen to that last cake lid that made me think it was all inside a giant clear molded jello awesome and petrifying at the same time

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

That plastic container filled with radioactive looking yellow, pink and orange stuff is hilarious! Who the H - E - double matchsticks would buy that?

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Anonymous said...
ok...for all those who are concerned about the sanitary aspect - do you really think the people who create all of these wrecks are wearing hair nets and gloves? If they can't figure out the correct spelling, etc. do you think they're thinking about sanitation?
This is why I NEVER eat fondant.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertiny purple elephant

Because America. HA HA HA! ****-YA!

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi D

Evidently we are going about this decorating & bakery business all wrong. Thanks for giving us the heads up, I am off to buy some candy to throw on top of our cakes right now.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEat Cake

Wow, that is kind of gross. I mean candy wrappers probably have who knows what kind of dust and contamination from being processed not to mention that the candy does not add that much appeal. Why not make a cake that looks like a candy bar instead of putting a wrapped candy bar on the cake.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

The candy bars on the fancy brownies are obviously to hide the poo swirls the clown heads are on!

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterScared Of Clowns

The song from Team America World Police comes to mind. You know the one.

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Oh my goodness. I chuckled through the first few cakes, but then I saw the fancy brownies and I guffawed out loud. And what on earth was that last one? Was that a mass of wrapped stuff on a pumpkin pie?

Funny as usual!

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKati

angel giggles and rainbow hugs?? GAG
I'll take germ encrusted candy wrappers in poo piles any day.

Of course, I'm in a pretty bad mood today...

-Barbara Anne

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Sad...just sad. Do people actually buy this stuff?


May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

No, I don't think the cakes are normally made in sterile environs. It's just gross, though.

-Barbara Anne

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I don't eat fondant on cakes because it tastes nasty. YEA, FROSTING!!
However, considering how much it's manhandled I wouldn't eat it even if it was tasty.

-Barbara Anne

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

(psst, Craig, did I help up the "unsanitary" comments closer to party-in-the-bunker-time? I'm bringing Twix and milk!)

-Barbara Anne

May 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Loved the ending to it. America! Hell, yeah!

May 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdorably Dead

That last cake looks like it has muffins squished with pink snowballs on it lol. Amongst all the other whatevers that are on there. Sheesh. Wonder if there is actually a cake under all of that or just boxes inside of more cake shaped boxes to drive the customer nuts. I wouldn't put it past the wreckerator lol.

May 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

@Barbara Anne: Sorry to hear about your bad day, but thanks for adding to the count.

38 of 96 as of this posting. A tad shy of S.E., but well within the definition of EPCOT as per John (hoJ).

This one is kind of tame (apart from the Howard Hughes / germophobe angle) -- at least they're not piling on our Fearless Leaders about some minor factual error (real or imagined).

That said, I'll bring the Lysol and the hand sanitizer, because America. And a supply of noms, of course -- prepared and packaged in Antarctica under an ultraviolet light by people in full isolation gear who don't even think dirty thoughts.

While I'm at it, I'll install one of those blowers over the bunker door -- the kind that are ostensibly meant to keep flies out of stores, but which I suspect are really intended to provide cheap laughs for employees every time someone's hair gets destroyed.

BTW, I think the last one is one of Sandra Lee's 'tablescapes' in kit form. Or maybe a trip to the ER in kit form. (No, that's redundant.)

May 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I too don't agree much with the idea of mixing wrapped candies in finished baked cakes.That's not healthy! Just imagine how it would be when someone while relishing the creamy cake comes across a warped candy in the cake? Not a good idea man whoever invented it!
The Cake Personality Test
Which cake are you like?

May 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJohanna

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