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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jun102011

Wrecky Conga Lines

My dear bakers, I'm going to teach you how to spell "Congratulations" if it's the last thing I do. I mean it. We're going to sit down RIGHT NOW and hash this thing out, and I'm not giving up until each and every one of you can spell this word backwards, forwards, and without using a single letter "d." You hear me? I am NOT GIVING UP.


I give up.


Ok, look. How about you just abbreviate it?

Not that much.

No...

[head on desk] No...

[in fetal position under desk] Losing...faith...in humanity...


Does...does that really say "Congris"?

Does it?!

Ok, I have an idea.

[whispering in ear]

I'll take it.


Hey, Aimee T., David G., Colleen G., Lianne I., Super Happy Girl, Julie M., & Nicole V., you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand, do you? My cookie cake was slaughtered by a six-fingered hand.

« Sunday Sweets: Summer Lovin' | Main | Hats Off For Grads! »

Reader Comments (106)

Can you help everyone learn how to spell "definitely" too? I see it written as "definately" all over the Internet. Drives me insane.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPatti

I feel obliged to point out that it is clearly not "congrate" or "congrat'e" in #5, but "congraté", rhyming with "non-frappe".

Because, you know, it makes Perfect Sense that way. Obviously.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think that Controdulation wins the prize for the wreckiest wreck.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKati

Do you know why I HATE CakeWrecks? Why I *despise* them, even?? Because even with my overly-educated, honest-to-God English-major-with-Oxford-University-"yes, England" pedigree.... I now have an obsessive compulsion to double-check-- nay, accidentally "misspell!"-- the word "CONGRATULATIONS" when using it in a written sentence.

Thanks to your shenanigans, my mind's eye wants to subconsciously add superfluous "uaua"s to it in unexpected places, or drop the "T," or sundry other bastardizations....

I never had this problem before, CakeWrecks.
Look what you've reduced me to.

Ending SENTIMENTS with bloody PREPOSITIONS!

Congragualadtions.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCortney G.

You don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand also? That way I can avenge both my father and my cake at the same time.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlma

i agree with sending the clowns on the "congate" cake...I thought maybe they were saying to Anonymous "Conga te"--as in you! conga!, like a command. but i know better...lol

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjmadison77

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersister AE

OMG!! That does look like a Rutger's cake!! How imbarrassing! I gratulated from their!

wv - tratoodu: make an effort, as in "please tratoodu the cake correctly."

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

Whoever said 2016 decorations...look closer.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMom

They were ALL disturbing but the radioactive orange "Congris" cake scared me the worst - ?2016? The big white flower/bird dropping in the center? The edging that looks like fire retardant foam along the edges? Spelling blunders aside, that is one freaky looking cake.

WV: worlonl - the worlonl-y knows why wreckerators can't handle congratulations.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBeverly Diehl

Lol @ Sharyn @ 4:16 PM!

Most entertaining congudulashoins!

Catherine

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercatherinethejeweller

Hmmmm. Well maybe CONRATS is a team...like the Con Rats or something. Or not...

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLetitia

After reading ALL the comments to see if someone already commented/corrected, I am shocked and dismayed that no one bothered to tell Renee that his name is INIGO....He is not a blue color!
And you call yourselves fans!! *SMH*

"Anybody want a peanut?"

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter

These are way too funny! Plus this site always makes me feel so much better about what I create. LOL
Amy

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy Ellen

This has to be the best wrecky congratulations post ever! It made me laugh all the way! By the way, nice 6 fingers whoever's hand that is (could it be from outer space?)

wv: doelecti: These cakes do look doelecti-ble.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think "congaté" sounds kind of cool. I'm going to start using it.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenny Jo

Oh Renee, that was hilarious!
ROFL!

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Sad, isn't it?

Sûlien

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"You killed my cookie. Prepare to die."

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

Ha Patti I was guilty of that for YEARS. For some reason definitely was my kryptonite (and I'm actually surprised that when I typed it out here, I typed it right the first time). I'm also saddened I haven't seen a 'congratumalations' cake wreck yet. It's my favorite butchered way to say congratulations.

WV: Extdaba: Extdaba cake with 6 fingers? Oy

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarolinaKat

They spelled "Congratulations" wrong?
Inconcieveable!
They spelled it wrong again?!
Inconcieveable!
Look, they've spelled it incorrectly again!
INCONCIEVEABLE!
WV:Ovorthe -to be beyond a specific thing. "I'm so ovorthe idea of ever getting a cake made."

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGennyDiggory

forgot what i was going to post, because
WV: hanned. 6 fingers on one hanned.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I almost gave the 5th one down the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the "s" at the end looks that way because they started to write it in cursive. Then I noticed the missing "g".. then the fact that the so-called "s" seems to be dotted..and.. then I gave up.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterErin @ Brownie Bites

Nice princess bride reference! *giggle*

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMrsBorthick

If I have another son ever, I'm naming him Congat'e. We're in the south, he'll fit in.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoy

1) You know someone's going to mess that last one up now and spell it, "Grate Job!" And it won't even be a cheesy pun. Hah, see what I did there?

2) Sorry for above.

3) Here, I'll make up for the PAIN with this link for you: http://shirt.woot.com/friends.aspx?k=19375 Just got mine in the mail and it is my favouritestest geeky shirt ever. It's multi-level geeky. It's so geeky that I feel the need to type very fast about diving into a wishing well before I drown.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

Forgive me, for I have sinned.

I misspelled congratulations on the marquee at the elementary school for the spelling bee champ.

When doth the statue of limitations run out on such sin?

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

@Cortney G., who wrote:

" I now have an obsessive compulsion to double-check... the word "CONGRATULATIONS" when using it in a written sentence."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You think THAT'S tough?
Try double-checking your spelling in a SPOKEN sentence.

=^u.u^=

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@ mel
who wrote:

"OMG!! That does look like a Rutger's cake!! How imbarrassing! I gratulated from their!"
......................

Hee hee! Phunny! (And at first, I almost didn't get that you were kidding. Sad, huh?)

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Does this said six-fingered hand happen to be missing a six-fingered sword? Because I know the guy who found it, and he's kinda cranky. :)

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlexis

love the princess bride reference. please write a novel. about anything. ill buy it and then read it and tell other people to buy it and then read it. okay? deal:)

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Re:#2= con means “with” in Spanish so it’s “with rats” and I think only hot dogs have a parts-per-million allowance of rat parts. This cake is in violation of federal law!
On the plus side this means #4 is “with grad’s” but it’s hard to know if that’s good or bad until we know what the grad is possessing. :D

(#6 does appear to say “2016” and I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought so)

BTW, in the bottom left side bar an ad reads: How to Remove Stubborn Kids' Stains. So, how does the stain remedy know if the kid who made the stain was stubborn or not?? Technology is just amazing but still no Spelling Monkeys or Spell Check on cakes!

-Barbara Anne

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@C2, I also took note of 'Indigo' but I didn't want to say anything. Besides, I have seen PB exactly once -- and don't recall most of it (can I say that here?) -- so I didn't think my credentials would pass the mustard.

@Lynn, someone very dear to me is dyslexic. What I know about it is that dyslexics tend to skew high on the IQ curve, and dyslexia is one of the most common -- and most often missed -- learning variations. It can be conquered; studies show that children and adults who receive training process the written word exactly the same as someone who never had dyslexia. That said, many dyslexics choose for a variety of reasons to forgo training, and they lead very successful lives.

@GennyDiggory: clever girl.

@Joyce: The statue of limitations doesn't run out -- sculptures can't run. As to the *statute* of limitations, I think this calls for a ruling from our hosts.

wv: feers. Most feers are baseless.

June 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Boy if they find Congratulations hard to spell I can only imagine how hard it is for them to spell bridal shower or even Kwanzaa lol.. now I hope I spelled that right and if not now I am a wreckerator hooray :D.

June 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Ack, the red stuff...whaaa?

June 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdorably Dead

BTW - it is "Inigo" Montoya... I can't believe that people actually get paid for these. So that makes the buyer just as guilty as the creator!

June 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

CONTRODULATION?

June 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Never knew there were so many ways to spell "Curngaradewlayshiouns."

Sharon

June 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My name is Inego Montoya... you ate my cookie... prepare to diet.

wv: ouesth- I'm on a ouesth for a pwetty decowated cake!

June 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelvira

Yeah, what Renee said. Hahaha!

June 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterharlowblue

@Barbara Anne:
Re: Stubborn Kids' Stains--

Good question!
But since you brought it up, how about a product that can remove the actual stubborn children?

*SIGH* They can put a man on the moon, and yet...)

=^u.u^=

June 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Sharyn @ 4:16 PM--that was PRICELESS!

June 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercakeburnette

1. This is even more sad than mickey mouse in a horror film...

2. Rats that con people! It makes PERFECT sense!

3. Wait... is that... DYNAMITE at the bottom? EVERYONE RUN!

4. Lovely... asterisk?

5. No comment

6. He's a member of congress with a spelling problem! (Duh!)

7. Five fingers and a thumb... and what is that on the hand? Is that like a ring or something? Is this a horror film?

June 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChaos

I am Cookie Montoya. You killed my cake. Prepare to die!

June 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlizdini

I had someone at work insist that I write Congrads on their cake. I was like, "Congrats"? and they were like "No, c-o-n-g-r-a-d-s". "C-o-n-g-r-a-d-s?" I said. (I figure it wouldn't hurt to double check their spelling FOR them.) "Yes, Congrads." A part of my soul may have died as I wrote on that cake.

June 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

"Congris" is used in Puerto Rican and Cuban restaurants to describe when you order the white rice and black beans mixed together instead of served separately. So I am trying to figure out how that applies to cake...

June 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLisabella

I guess it's just a style to be known. LOL!

I hope that one day someone spells it 'Congress.' At least that would offer the benefit of the doubt on the part of the baker. They could say, "But I spell checked it!" And many laughs can be had.

June 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlmanzo

I have that last picture of the 6-fingered cake as the background of my phone! It was at the Franklin Mills Mall in Philly. I am so glad someone else sent it in cause clearly I was too lazy to.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This has to be one of my most favorite posts ever. Congrads and Congradulations is one of my very biggest pet peeves EVER (primarily due to an acquaintance who loves to flaunt her educational superiority but has never once spelled this word right in my 20+ years acquaintance with her). Great blog!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBonnie

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