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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Jun132011

Wreck-A-Bye Baby

Sometimes I like to think this blog might have a positive influence on current baking trends. (Oh, stop laughing. A girl can dream.) So, what do you say we mosey on over to a few of our nation's baby showers and see how things are going?

Wonderful!

I mean, sure, "beby" is misspelled, and there's a giant funky headboard thing happening, and the doll is staring at me all creepy-like, but the baby itself is not edible. That's progress, people!

Hey, a lot of those letters are right.

In fact - and feel free to correct me here if I'm wrong - I think "cohgrautions" may be the Canadian spelling.


You might be wondering how many tracts of land they had to search to find these two peas in a pod, or why the baker didn't make the "peas" green. That said, it's not a pregnant torso cake.

Plus it makes me want to start singing "Keep Walking" by the French Peas, so that's a "win" all 'round.

This next one may cause a bit of a flap, but I'll have no truck with such negativity:

After all, nothing drives home the beauty of motherhood quite like a pregnant mudflap girl. Eh? Eh? Am I right?

Well, my friends, I think I've made my point: baby shower cakes are getting better! And all because of me! ME, I SAY!! BWAHAHAHAAA!!

AHAHAHAAAHAA!!

BAHAHAHAA...

...huh?

AAAAAUUUGGHH!!


[blink blink]

Well.

Back to business as usual, then?

Thanks to Sose K., Krista M., Susan M., Bob S., & Carly A. for dashing my dreams. You cruel, cruel wreckporters, you.

« Dad's Birthday Presents | Main | Sunday Sweets: Summer Lovin' »

Reader Comments (163)

@Sharyn: "WV: folosuc -- The first cake was awful, but the ones that folosuc, too."

Brilliant. Why didn't I think of that?

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLucky66

I was so stunned that the first cake was rather well made and well executed that I didn't notice the "beby" misspelling until it was pointed out by Jen.

Then the rest of them brought my expectations right back down.
And creeped me out with that last half-baby cake (really, the body is not in proportion to that giant head).

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

Pretty sure that the woman the mudflap girl is supposed to represent is going to be more upset with the size of the butt on that thing than anything else!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterErin @ Brownie Bites

Great, now you've song-bombed me. I'll be singing "Keep Walking" in my head all day, I'm sure.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnnieA

Wait, wait, wait...
I get the last one now. It's a stylized version of a baby King Cake. With the baby AS the cake, instead of IN (or on) it. It has all the hallmarks- shiny (read deep fried); bright, mulit-coloured icing; fake gold jewelery...
Bwahahahahaha!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

All was going well and then my brain went, 'SCRRRREEEEEEEEECH!!!' Then the crickets started chirping. The shiny baby cake. It's a friggin' shiny baby cake. And then Philip and Jean Claude started saying in their leeetle French ahccents, 'What ees dis, Jean Claude?' 'Mais oui, Philp, mais oui. What ees eet indeed? Ohn hoh hoh.'

wv: onistio
That is one onistio looking cake.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDD

With the third one, I still don't see peas in a pod. I see two scoops of tuna salad on a watermelon rind. There's even a plate of crackers behind them with which to eat the tuna salad.

WV: squerso - But I'm a total squerso maybe I'm not hep to this peapod jive.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercoeurdechoeur

I think I might unironically love pregnant mudflap girl.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessie

The last one will haunt my dreams!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndreanna Glamasaurus

It... it's shiny AND it has what looks like a pleather crown. I am so frightened!!!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCalamity Wren

Like others, I pondered aghast at that last cake, wondering why the head was so big and the rest so small...until I realized what it really was: This is a cake celebrating the birth of a family's first child. Unable to tastefully show the actual birth, that moment is represented by the large head with a crown, thus, the child is "crowning" and about to make his first appearance into the world. The child is on alphabet blocks symbolizing both that he is the first child ("A") and that he is the foundation -- or bulding block -- of the line of children to follow. We know there will be more children because of the small bear in the picture -- this mother will "bear" more children in the future. Now I feel better....

wv - edicrop: plants raised for food

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

When I ready the writing on mudflap girl's cake, I thought of Maury Povich. "The baby is YOURS!" And now I'm really hoping the cake was to reveal the baby daddy of mudflap girl.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTyphoid Ashley

I don't normally comment on my kids' reactions, but today was priceless. Three of my ardent little Wreckporters-in-training (ages 10, 8, and 4) were gathered around behind me as I scrolled down to the last cake; they literally jumped back together and gasped in horror! That cake could be used like one of those screaming face pranks that used to float around the internet.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

@Anonymous at 10:51 AM Dang! Now I have Bob Ross' soft voice in my head saying "happy boobs. . .happy boobs. . .now let's add a happy pod. . ." ;O

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

Oh, how I love those French Peas!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRU

AUGH! Veggie Tales reference! About my favorite Veggie story! And one of my favorite Veggie songs! THANK YOU Jen!!

And too bad on that second cake that they didn't get the same person to write the personal script that wrote "Baby" on it. That was some nice piping.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

Anonymous 11:03 AM
said...
"I love the bear trap around the last one's head."

~~~~~~~~~~~
I love that!
And I think it's a very apt scenario.
This is how it could have gone down: the bear, having been saved from injury, happily proceeded to make a snack out of Uglybaby's midsection. Then it felt guilty about it, so it smacked the end and butt together, hoping that no one would notice.
But man! That IS one hell of a head, huh? Reminiscent of something you'd see etched on the inside of a cave (think Palaeolithic age, or so).

=^@.@^=

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

That last one will show up in my nightmares.
"Keep Walking" is stuck in my head now. I knew there was a reason I loved you.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSamantha

Oh my........ is it a coincidence that the world's smallest man has been crowned today - maybe that was a celebration cake.......the worst cake ever!!!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLizzieC

On that third cake, maybe the peas are actually the cheese meant for the crackers in the background...a sort of 2 for 1 deal...

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Two nekid peas in a pod perhaps? Jen,my son and I got very stern looks from librarian when we picked up your book off the shelf and were nearly falling on the floor laughing. He is 11 and anything half way referring to poo is funny to him. Thank you for the wonderful family moment!!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

The last one, all that went through my head was "ohmigod kill it! nuke it from orbit!!!"

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDanger Boy

It looked like pregnant mudflap girl was getting ready in pee in the woods.-Kerry

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKerryj

I think Mudflap Girl is ready to start pushing.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I like pregnant mudflap girl too!! Wish I had looked half that good when I was pregnant!! :)

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarsha

"Welcome Prince"? I'm having day-mares and it's that baker's fault.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Man, I *hate* it when they forget to bathe the baby before sticking him on a cake ...

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKami

Peas?? I thought they were smiley faced boobs popping out of a giant green martian collar or something.

As for the mudflap girl, I think she looks more like she's about to birth that baby than reclined in a sexy pose!
-Merina

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, my gosh, Jen! You had me laughing so hard I couldn't breathe! Another great reminder of why I need my daily dose of "belly laughs" from Cake Wrecks. Thanks.

Teresa

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTeresa

Nice VT reference, now I have that song stuck in my head! :P

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjava diva

Ok, I've loved this blog forever, but your ability to work in a VeggieTales reference? Priceless. Seriously, you have no idea how much respect I just gained for you. Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbigcitygrl

thanks for the VT reference; kindof miss those goofy songs now that my kids think they're "too old" for it. WAY better than that last wreck.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLori

Why does the last one have a crown? Why? Is it a king baby? Is it going to grow up to rule the world? Or maybe just run a really successful car lot?

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGlowworm

I'd like to say that as a non-Canadian American, I am extremely not offended.

#1 That could be how other people spell 'baby'. We mustn't judge.

#2 Such a wonderful diversity of spelling. I can't even decide what all the letters are, but hey, who am I to say what they should be?

#3 My first thought on seeing these was, 'Sno Balls' (do they still make those?). On seeing the crackers, however, I favor the tuna salad theory. But then, I favor tuna salad anyway. Just expressing a preference, not discriminating against other salads. Or other theories. (mops brow)

#4 "...nothing drives home..." I see what you did there, Jen. That's a level of cleverness one normally associates with our friends to the North. Not that people from elsewhere cannot be clever as well.

#5 Firstly, the sign says 'prince' right on it. So this is not one of those...er, other cakes. It is shiny, though, and has bold colors. I can't say whether it is deep fried, but it does appear to contain quite a lot of shortening.

But hey, it's GOOD that the maker of this cake had a different perspective on things. All these cakes are GOOD. (The next corn crop ought to be extra sweet with all that sugar in the soil.)

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Love your site, but not really impressed with your slam on Canadians and thier spelling of Congratulation. This is especially since we are a large part of your followers.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBlue

No word of a lie, I JUST watched Josh & the Big Wall with my daughter yesterday...! So "Keep Walking" was already in my head, you've just succeeded in foiling any progress I had made against getting it OUT. :) I agree with the poster who praised Monty Python and VeggieTales in such close proximity. Kudos. :)

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

Blue,

C'mon. Seriously? We're not slamming Canada! We're joking about the fact that you spell things differently! Aren't there enough things to get offended by on the internet these days without taking personal offense at a joke on a cake blog?

Canadians are awesome. Canada is awesome. You guys probably have the best sense of humor anywhere. I know most Canadians can take a gentle dig at spelling.

And for the record, we bash America way more than Canada.

I can't do comments anymore.

john

Yay for the Veggies Tales reference! In fact my 3 year just pushed pla on Veggies! Win!

Awesome post as always Jen. And Mel... Hilarious comment!

Signed a Canadian who understands this is a HUMOUR blog and not meant to offend. Keep up the great work.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKirstie

Oooooooh! I thought it was two smiley face boobs in a pod. My bad!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last one looks like a Roman Emperor after a really, really bad night at the orgies.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterfurpurrson

John (hubby of Jen) -

Buck up, little camper! For every angry Canadian, there are 100 readers with a sense of humor... There's lots of love!

Do you think Blue would be offended if I pointed out his/her alternate spelling of the word their? Probably should let that one go...

-michelej (who loves her a veggie reference!)

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermichelej

Michelej,

As a 240 pound guy who's never been camping, I am deeply offended.

Btw, is it weird that I find being talked to like that slightly fantastic? I have literally never been called anything like that in my life. I'm sitting here giggling like an idiot.

Thanks for making my day better, eh?

john

"Congmuttons" indeed!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I LOVE the VeggieTales reference - the Jerichoan French Peas are my favorite! Elizabeth

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMem

John (hubby of Jen) -

I second michelej's reassurance. Most of us Canadians are still giggling, not grumping!! Keep up the good work.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStriderGirl

Hi Jen and John,
I've never posted on Cake Wrecks before but my W/V made me do it: bactot- What happened to the bactot on Shiny Prince?
Also, many times the pictures are missing. Today I only saw the 2 peas and Shiny Prince. I really wanted to see Mud Flap Girl.
Why am I deprived of these masterpieces?
Jellen in MN.
P.S. I know your posts cause many reactions but I nearly died laughing when my daughter was introducing me to Cake Wrecks. I was laughing so hard that I started to choke and couldn't breathe. She was going to wait until I passed out and then call 911.
Maybe that is why I don't get all the pictures, you don't want to be responsible for my untimely death.
Thanks for caring.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjegokey

I'm so glad you explain what some of these are suppose to be. Two peas in a pod, eh? I thought they were ham salad spread to be served with those crackers in the background.

And mudflap girl. Did not make the connection. Thanks so much. By the way, get a look at the calf on her leg. Wow.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Why do I want to throw basketballs into the first cake so badly?

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDeanna

Re: "cohgrautions"

Uh, yeah, because we Canadians are known for our bad spelling.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterhadra777

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