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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Jun132011

Wreck-A-Bye Baby

Sometimes I like to think this blog might have a positive influence on current baking trends. (Oh, stop laughing. A girl can dream.) So, what do you say we mosey on over to a few of our nation's baby showers and see how things are going?

Wonderful!

I mean, sure, "beby" is misspelled, and there's a giant funky headboard thing happening, and the doll is staring at me all creepy-like, but the baby itself is not edible. That's progress, people!

Hey, a lot of those letters are right.

In fact - and feel free to correct me here if I'm wrong - I think "cohgrautions" may be the Canadian spelling.


You might be wondering how many tracts of land they had to search to find these two peas in a pod, or why the baker didn't make the "peas" green. That said, it's not a pregnant torso cake.

Plus it makes me want to start singing "Keep Walking" by the French Peas, so that's a "win" all 'round.

This next one may cause a bit of a flap, but I'll have no truck with such negativity:

After all, nothing drives home the beauty of motherhood quite like a pregnant mudflap girl. Eh? Eh? Am I right?

Well, my friends, I think I've made my point: baby shower cakes are getting better! And all because of me! ME, I SAY!! BWAHAHAHAAA!!

AHAHAHAAAHAA!!

BAHAHAHAA...

...huh?

AAAAAUUUGGHH!!


[blink blink]

Well.

Back to business as usual, then?

Thanks to Sose K., Krista M., Susan M., Bob S., & Carly A. for dashing my dreams. You cruel, cruel wreckporters, you.

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Reader Comments (163)

The Little Prince on the last cake looks like he has a "5 o'clock shadow".........you have to wonder who (or what) the baker used as a model for the baby....I hate to even imagine it!!!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterluv my cats

Blame Canada...

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

No matter how hard I try to direct an epcot one way (king cakes!), it always comes at you from a different direction!

John (thoJ), we are trying to get those Canadians without a sense of humour thrown out of Canada, but with the Conservatives in power, it's really difficult.
(Go on. Google "Stephen Harper" and tell me that's not a robot pretending to smile.)

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

That was hopeful and inspiring, well until Giant Midget Henry VIII...

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSand Mama

To any Canadians "offended" by the "slur"... For Gawd's SAKE get your knickers out of the spin cycle! NO ONE (except a wreckie) spells congratulations that way. It was a JOKE...

As a Canadian, a fan of Cake Wrecks, and one who spells neighbours, favours, and cheques, I say get a grip.

And for all we know the wreckie was a Canadian.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnneke (Mudhooks)

Wow. That baby "Prince" sure has one Durante of a schnozz!

Merry from Annie's Book Stop/Sharon, MA

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Don't know if anyone mentioned it or not, but the bear on the last cake was cute. It took me a while before I saw it tho.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

mudflap pregnant girl only has one leg?

i too have the French Peas in my head now.. tyvm! lol : )

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

Add me to the list of Canadian CW fans with a sense of humoUr. I always thought that we get teased becase we have a similar culture... yet are still foreigners. Not to mention that whole invasion of Florida thing. (my grandparent were "snowbirds"). After all, Canadians spell English the proper way... like the English. It is the Americans who spell things funny ;)

Regardless, I do like Puppygirl's suggestion of, um, "exporting" all those who whine "offended" rather than giggle at a long-standing CW joke.

Now onto cakey humoUr.

Other than the mis-spelling (so, so close!), Cake #1 is ok. Although I still don't get the whole "baby cake" for a shower. We just did a shower for a colleague, and there were cute soothers and bottles and other baby related decorations on a very non-wrecky cake. Worked just fine, and elicited praise not horror.

as for #2: Em: "birdicorn" FTW.

#3: Like the others, thanks for explaining what that cake is supposed to be. But points for them doing something cute (in concept) and tasteful.

#4: Yup, I admit, I like the pregnant mudflap girl too!

#5. OK, definitely a newborn. I kinda like Mel @12:50's theory. (Hmmm... do you think this one's horrifying enough to help a friend who's 5 days overdue finally go into labour???).

Jen, rest assured that the cakes are improving. The last one was just proof that we still need more of your drole mockery. If that doesn't, we'll send the Mounties in.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

Crack KILLS, unsettlingly shiny cake baby... crack kills.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFysh Phoenix--

@luv my cats: For the model for the last cake, I would have to say, Charles Laughton. No, I'm not old enough to remember him directly, but I'm a Hitchcock fan and recently saw 'Jamaica Inn' on DVD.

To borrow from C.S. Lewis: "We expect virtue and enterprise of wreckerators who make babies without chests."

John (thoJ), glad you didn't give up on the comments. Hopefully all the trolls have gone back to their respective bridges.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Looked like "congmutton" to me.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was watching TOSH.O This last weekend, they actually have a internet video pf someone cutting into the head of one of those sleeping baby cakes... I had to stop watching at that point as I was about to toss my cookies (actually it was pie i was about to toss but everyone always says cookies) but it made me think of my favorite web page... and shudder uncontrollably. And seeing that last cake brought it all back again... *shudder*

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSara

The last one, good grief!!!
They could have stopped at the 2 blocks and the bear. Why a crown on the baby?

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertiny p/ elephant

Anonymous said...
Shrug. We eat everything else in cake form, so what's the big deal about edible babies? *Burp.*

____________
we eat everything in baby form too. baby corn, baby m and m's, baby carrots, baby oreos....

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Dear John,

Oh it's humourous, I get it now. It has no connection to any form of Canadian spelling, or actually British spelling, lol, but as long as you think it's funny, it's ok even if it makes no sense.

I appreciate your backhanded apology though, with that type of humour going for you, you might just be a bit Canadian.

Also, sorry for the whole 1812 thingy. ;)

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm pretty sure I saw the last one in a National Geographic article about ancient people discovered preserved in peat bogs in Denmark. It's a Peat Bog Baby Prince!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEve

VeggieTales reference for the win! I award you ten geek points, Jen.

Also, thanks a million for the nightmare fuel in the last cake. I don't really need to sleep ever again anyway.

WV: Persabl. Isn't he one of the Weasley brothers?

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

HUUUUUUGE tracts of land...

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteremilysandlin

I just now noticed two things:
1:~ The pink-cake "beby" is laid out in such a way as to suggest, er..a "viewing," as in...uh...all dressed up and nowhere to go?
And...
2: ~The poor little pelican/stork critter seems to have vomited pea soup on his blue cloud. Is it the altitude or the wobbly writing that's given him the greens?

Allison's off to a great start, yah?

=^-.-^=

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

OMG! You know about the French Peas! That just made my day.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenternightliz

If they had only just went with the blocks and the bear and left the baby out of the last cake, it would have been great. Also, Prince Baby Slime reminds me of what happened to baby Melody Pond on the season finale of Doctor Who. I won't spoil for anyone who hasn't seen it...

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBree

Holy carp, Sharyn!!! You rock (doffs hat). Two funny funnies in one day.

Me, I never would have understood those were peas in a pod, either. However, I'd watched a food show last night that featured fried lamb testicles so I hope I can be excused.

-Barbara Anne

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the last one looks like Julius Caesar with a butt where the bottom of his neck should be.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Dear John (thoJ)& Jen,
as Canadians we want to inform you that it is the 1st cake that is spelled Canadian. (French) bebe + (English) baby = beby.
The cohgmuttons is actually Scottish. Our Scottish father used to tell us tales of the great shephards of the Western Isles and their flocks of cohgmuttons.
We thought the 3rd cake was for the Cousin It twins.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjeliecam

WHAT is with all the tetchy Canucks? You've never heard of affectionate teasing? Tugging the pigtails of the girl you like? It's only funny because we LIKE Canada. Longest friendly border in the world for how many years? Yeesh. Someone's over-sensitive.

PS - We forgave 1812 a long time ago. Besides, it wasn't really your fault; France and England pushed you to it.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChrys

The mudflap girl is disturbing because she only has one arm and one leg. Poor pregnant mudflap girl can only have one leg in the stirrup to help leverage her push. And on a side note, does this cake make her butt look big?

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGwynne

Slimy Prince Baby Cake.... The horror... it can't be unseen....

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMadTigerKitty

Took one last look at the cakes after reading the comments...

... is that green curling ribbon in the top corners of the "peas in a pod" cake?

Yikes...

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Don't worry about us Canadians! The majority of us have a sense of humour :)

Conmuttons ... that's what I read too! ROTFL

The creepy shiny prince cake though? SCREEEE! *bolt*

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterErica

I thought for sure those peas were uncooked meatballs.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFaith

@Bree

I understand Doctor Who love, really I do (I'm a longtime Whovian meself), but to compare baby Melody and that cake--! That's REALLY reaching, don't you think? Melody Pond is WAY cuter and actually looks like she might be human...

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Oh - My - GOSH! Jen, first of all, you are hilarious, and second, where in the hell do you find these cakes? Absolutely the best thing I've seen in weeks!

That last one looks like it's just a head and a butt. Where's the torso? And since when does a baby sleep on two blocks? He would fall off. Oh well...very funny.

Love it love it LOVE IT!!!

Keep up the good work... Can't wait to read the rest of your blog.

Wendy

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

Why does the Prince cake look like an old man? Ew. And shiny too.. Ew Ew.

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMamma Cluck

I don't appreciate you throwing that last cake in there like you did...I mean, here I am, expecting a hideous baby cake (what else would I be expecting, honestly?), but THAT? THAT, THAT, whatever-the-heck-that-is definitely made me go "Urg!", and will most likely give me nightmares. For sure. And if nightmares happen, well, I'm chasing you down and force-feeding you baby-food prunes(worst punishment I can think of, right there. :D)

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelMelForLife

the last one does look like a jr. burger king! it made me think of the king from Mr. Roger's Neighborhood.

the mudflap girl cake is Klassy. hehehehe
~a

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am so happy to have found a fellow French Peas fan! Veggie Tales, right?
I love your posts, but this is the first time I have commented.:) The sheen on the last baby cake is atrocious! Just saying...

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHope

I immediately got the Veggie Tales reference as my niece & nephew watch that particular one all the time.

Also, MarliO: LOVE the Keep Walking rendition!

June 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek. Can we please hurry to Sunday?? That pregnant mudflap girl is going to give me nightmares lol. Along with that last cake..ok heck they all scare me. Do they want to terrify mothers-to-be? Or just the guests at the shower?

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

That second one doesn't say "cohgratulations" - it clearly says "cohgmuttons"

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCatt of the Garage

Oh my lol. We could just about cope until the last one. Sucker punch.

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWee Tait

O.M.G. The fact that you knew "Keep Walking" just made my entire week.

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Mudflap girl gets around, I suppose it was only a matter of time...

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter-Sea Nymph-

That last one is just scary!

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Mudflap girl...what were they thinking! Yikes.

CRAZY. ---Evie

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEvie

That last interrupted my mental French Peas concert ("At the Bottom of the Sea" is my personal fav) to say, "Oh my dear lord!" That's just wrong.

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Good heavens. That last cake is the stuff nightmares are made of.

But now I have Veggies and French-sounding Eric Idle competing in my head. An interesting combination, I must say....

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAuntie J

OK, so, I just moved to Canada a few weeks ago from Mass, eh? and I met a really nice woman at a conference who happens to be a professional cake maker. So I introduced her to this site, then checked it out as I haven't seen it in a few weeks.
As soon as I saw the Canadian spelling reference, I felt a little embarrassed, so I checked out the comments as well.
Nice to know it's just me being overly sensitive. Thanks for straightening it out for me. Cheers!

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStinkypie

My inner trailer trash LOVES pregnant mud flap girl! Hey, it was bound to happen sooner or later and we all hated her for her teeny-tiny waist anyway, right? She got lots of extra booty, too! She's definitely having a boy!

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

I don't think those are supposed to be peas in a pod - cute monsters perhaps? They remind me of the Yip Yips on Sesame Street.

June 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDawn @ Kitchen Lore

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