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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jun162011

Ties That Bind

Ah, neck ties. Those glorious, generic "Dad" gifts that men have enjoyed - nay, cherished! - since the invention of clothing. After all, what can make you feel more alive than a silk noose around your neck signifying lifelong membership in the greater corporate collective? Hmmm?

And, naturally, when it comes to getting dad a cake on his special day, bakers sure know how to please:

They, uh, also appear to have a rather low opinion of dads' fashion sense.

Or maybe they've read that a lot of men are at least partially colorblind, and decided Dad wouldn't notice:

I'm calling it: yellow and beige is the most disgusting color combination known to man.


Or maybe they think we were all raised in the circus.

"To Dad, Our Favorite Bozo."

Hey, remember that time Dad said his new tie from Aunt Edna looked like crap?

Well, they've got a cake for that, too!


The sprinkles really sell it.


Of course, then there are the bakers who've never actually seen a tie...

...but wouldn't think of letting that stop them.


But my friends, it doesn't have to be this way.

Just say "no" to tie cakes! Say "no" to boring clich├ęs! Instead, go with creativity! Go with quality! Go with...

...a flaming Quidditch Snitch riding a unicycle on a tank top cake!

Yeah.

You're welcome, fathers everywhere.

Many tanks to Anne J., Luli M., Vanessa B., Denise M., Zoe I., & Becky T. for getting all tied up on our behalf. [mrowr]

Oh, and a belated "epi briday" to Dorothy "big deal" M. Nappy blob blob, Dor!

« When "Falker Satherhood" Is Just Too Wordy | Main | Father's Day Pictionary »

Reader Comments (69)

Very funny! I love it.

June 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatie Girl

testing to see if I can comment

June 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBabsiegirl

Before I run off and verify the NPR mention, I need to know if you guys had anything to do with Weinergate. Was it all a misunderstanding involving German cakes?

June 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I DO NOT want to see what deposited that poo tie!!

o.O eeekkkkkkkkkkkk

-Barbara Anne

June 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Anonymous at 12:27 - Never mind the ants, what's with the fried eggs all over the sleeves? Is Dad staked out on the anthill and covered with their breakfast? My brain hurts!

littlefoot

June 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

this is completely off topic, so i hope you'll forgive me, but i just picked up your 2009 Cake Wrecks book at the bookstore and spent a delightful couple of hours reading and laughing at not quite with it cakes. i've put the book on my fireplace mantel (for reasons not worth exploring at this juncture, i've got a mantel, but no fireplace - but then, i don't have a coffee table suitable for a coffee-table book either) so that i can have it quickly to hand whenever i want to make someone laugh.

two comments - 1) as i am a total geek, i could see getting behind a camo wedding cake complete with little army men in a strategic position. maybe it could have terrain and battle lines and everything - but, uh, no dolphins.

2) location, location, location. oh my Divinity! i'm *still* laughing at that one hours later!

anyway, rock on, Jen!

-boogieshoes

June 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterboogieshoes

Does that last one say "Happy Gay Fathers"? That's redundant.

June 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterfranticallysimple

That first one, the blue "tie," looks more like a d-- a...uh...feminine hygiene water container. O.o

June 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNahhh...

I have to say that the first one kinda looks like a finless fish.... All were way too funny.

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy Ellen

Oh my gosh..I think that poop tie has finished those cakes off for me lol. I will no longer look at a tie the same way again. Keep me away from the scissors or I may be tempted to cut those ties off the cakes lol.

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

gosh, that obviously isnt a unicycle, unicycles dont have handlebars!!! i mean, gosh you guys, just gosh.

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercool face

I own more ties than my father, and I'm a woman.

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That first cake: That fondant work is seamless! (No, really, it IS! Get it?)
Is that fondant or thinly sliced Velveeta?

VROOM-VROOM! Hahaha!!!
I'm no physics major, but I'm willing to bet that the motorcycle (and I use that term loosely) isn't going to roll on inch...not the way that front wheel is facing sideways yet the handlebars and front fender are facing forward! hahaha!

Vroom Vroom! LOL

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBhakti

I might just get my Dad one of these, I'm sure he would be thrilled... and glad he doesn't wear a tie too often

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterwee tait cakes

Sadly, my father has worn worse outfits back in the day when he wore suits and ties to work every day. Instead of too-short ties and horrible colours, picture clashing batiks. I won't say more for fear I'll give you nightmares. Fashion sense was not something he was acquainted with. However, as bad as what he wore, it was still better than what my grandfather wore to my youngest cousin's bar mitzvah!

And "flaming Quidditch Snitch riding a unicycle on a tank top cake" -- brilliant!!

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

I think the 5th cake is for the "fancy" dad who wears neckercheifs and ascots... ;)

June 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBryna

Tracy -- I thought it said "Happy Father's Gay" too.

June 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkimc

You are getting better each and every day.

That's the long for "thank you!!"

June 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlen

It's no where NEAR father's day while I'm typing this, but seeing all of these cakes gives me an idea for a father's day cake that I'LL make (with help, of course) for my dad. It will have a tie on it, but the tie won't be the focal point (I guess you could say that...) of the cake... If that makes sense.
Because of the fact that it [might] be homemade, I won't send it to CW, even if it does turn out Sunday Sweet.
See what I did there? No? Ok...

December 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTokaiyaBMalfoy

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