The Search for the World's Most Disturbing Shower Cake ENDS HERE
July 22, 2011
Heads up!
Wow. This is so stinkin' sexy, I almost didn't even notice the outie belly button.
Because fetus cookies are SO last year:
Goes great with mother's milk.
And lots of screaming.
Proving once again that bakers are taking posts on this blog as inspiration:
I'm torn (ha! Ew.) between asking what that gray pouch thing hanging out is and desperately, desperately, not wanting to know. In fact, know what? Don't tell me. I'm never having kids, so knowing what the inner lining's poop chute or whatever looks like is just one of those things I never need to know. Seriously. Leave me to my blissful ignorance.
And finally, look. I realize that a lot of talent was required to make some of these wrecks - I do! However, no amount of talent will ever make any part of this look yummy to me:
In fact, you could say the amount of talent a baker has when making a placenta has an inverse reaction to how much I want to eat said placenta.
Or, in other words:
SWEET BETTY CROCKER I AM NEVER EATING AGAIN.
Thanks to Matt R., Sarah M., Carl G., & Heather A. for today's gut-busters. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to skip lunch.
Reader Comments (406)
Thanks for helping me stick to my diet today - YUCK!!!
OK. Just because you ::can:: create cakes like these does not mean you ::should:: create cakes like these. Just sayin'.
Some of these bakers need to never be allowed to bake again! These were terrible!
I think you just discovered a new method of birth control. (Or at least incentive to USE birth control!)
WV: pebuff - to shine up little green peas
By far the most disgusting post I've EVER seen on here. Props!
AAAAaaaaaggggghhhhhh!!!!
Thank you for making me stick to a diet today, or at least meditate on beautiful things to get that out of my head.
URCK.
PLEASE tell me the placenta is for an L&D nurse/doctor graduation
OMG That is so gross,how could anyone in their right mind want that as a cake let alone eat the damn thing lol it is just plain nasty
...
Words cannot describe my level of disgust. Seriously...these go beyond tacky, nausea-inducing and low-class.
The color of the baby on the last cake is awful. Poor thing must've failed his APGAR and is dead. :shudder: Awesome technical work but totally disgusting to imagine eating. Ugh.... Why oh why do people want these cakes? Why oh why do the bakers/decorators agree to make them?
Gross.
honestly, I have no words - the dumb struck look on my face says it all.
Seriously? I have been reading your posts for a long time now, but these are BY FAR the most disgusting things I have ever seen! ACK!
They're creepy, they're hoary
they're altogether gory
It's Alien Adventures and
it's not a dream.
Deet-dee-dedeedee. No one can hear you scream!
Tune: Animaniacs Adventures?
Oh god...WHHHYYYYY??!!
I had a gag relex to that last one!
Now I'm off to scrub my eyes and try to forget I saw taht!
I'm glad to see the first baby isn't coming out of her nipple (!!!!), because that's exactly what it looks like on the FB fan page (I guess because the thumbnail is so small, it makes it hard to see what's happening).
wow. Someone once told me that in the NYC stock exchange the hand gesture for too much information is to raise your hands over your head. When I saw these cakes I found my self doing just that. These "moms" who order these cakes are a few fries short of a Happy Meal.
I have been an L&D nurse. I have been an OR nurse. I have worked in a crazy OB hospital where patients cooked and ate placentas (fortunately not many). One would understand why I don't like meat. Now I'm not sure I can ever eat another piece of cake. In a weird way, thanks, Cake Wrecks. :Q must have been medical people who did those considering the specific setup of the back table. And yes, the fetus looks dead to me, too. BLECCH!
Dibs on the placenta!!!!
WHY ARE PEOPLE ASKING FOR THESE?!?!?! All of these are the kind of cake that they don't just make to randomly sell out of the case. WHO is requesting this? Apparently cannibalism is a real thing not just reserved for murderers? This is EFFED UP. I will have nightmares. lol
Why? In the name of all that is holy? Why!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Ya know, at least it's not *real* placenta. Some people eat those things.
God, why???? Why would someone THINK any of those would be great... TO EAT or heck, replicate? ICK, put it on a post card.
These are very creative, but still kind of disturbing. =D
ugh...so disgusting!!!! I am going to have nightmares!!
Oh.
My.
GOD!
What are these people thinking?!?
That last one...what is WRONG with people!!!
Gina
Please relax about that grey thing!!! I have given birth to 4 children and have been present at the birth of about half of my grandchildren, and I have NEVER, ever, ever, EVER seen anything like that grey bag dangling out. There is no reason for it to be there, it is NOT a part of childbirth. Please just relax, and let it go.
Now the rest of them...I can't help you with. I don't understand eating a newborn, a placenta, and an entire medical procedure and calling it a good time.
AHH!!!
Some people freeze-dry and encapsulate the placenta. Supposed to help prevent PPD. I never did it, but after the PPD I had with my first, maybe I should have.
Having said that, it does NOT need to be on a cake ever.
I was thinking that the grossness of the last cake was due to the fact that the baby looks eerily still-born. And then I saw the placenta in a bowl. And then I saw the close-up. Seriously. What the hell? I need to go bleach my brain now ...
I swear, this is the third weird baby shower cake posting you've had since my best friend told me that she's pregnant. She no longer has a choice. She's getting a placenta cake.
People are sick.
No words can emphasize just how disturbing ALL of those cakes are. My initial reactions can barely do them justice:
omg...
OMG, LOL!
WHY, GOD, WHYYYYYYYYYYY???
WV: suppe
Something soupy-looking something something placenta something... *gag*
I'm nauseous and scarred for life.
I am suppose to have my baby in a few short weeks. I was nervous before reading this post. Now I am just terrified.
An additional thought:
Does the baker of the first cake understand how birth works?
I had a dream about being pregnant last night. Now I'll have a nightmare about it popping out of my bellybutton with fireworks. It'll be slightly reminiscent of that scene in Aliens that I accidentally saw when I was about four. That particular nightmare has haunted me ever since.
WV: alphob
That black sac-looking thing is technically referred to as the alphob.
For the love of God, why would you want to cut into a baby or a pregnant women for a slice of cake, hope it is not red velvet. Gross
There's nothing I like better in a tableau than a display of placenta and a blue/green baby. SCRUMMY!
I'm not really grossed out until I remember: These are CAKES! Gack!
I would be most unhappy if anyone gave me a cake like that for a baby shower. The surgery one is really scary because it looks like a stillborn ready for an autopsy. =(
--Renee
...and then they sliced it and ate it.
Hahaha well. I will say that after my first daughter was born, her placenta made me feel sick when I saw it, but after my second daughter I just thought it looked pretty cool. They look like trees :) Not that they make appetizing cakes though. Yikes. And this is coming from someone whose midwife cooked, dried, and encapsulated her placenta for ingestion. I was NOT gonna go fry it up and eat it, but I wasn't going to miss out on the benefits of consuming it either. It just looked like a vitamin when I ate it :)
Aaaaaaahhhhhhh! That last one looks more like a baby autopsy!
Okay I'm gonna say it. Don't mothers actually eat the afterbirth in some cultures? At least the cake version would probably go down a bit easier. Just sayin'.
I just dont get why anyone would make a cake that looked like that, with utensils, baby and placenta. Really what is the purpose to something like that? Who makes that kind of request? I dont even know what to say.
I am so glad I looked at this AFTER my lunch hour, because O.M.G.
Do people SERIOUSLY ORDER PLACENTA CAKES!?!?!?!!? What is going wrong with the world? What happened to a simple "Congradultions, Its a Gril!" cakes? Weren't we all happier with misspellings? Yes, I believe we were...
Well, I suppose we should be grateful that (a) the people who ordered these cakes are actually eating cake, not what the cake's representing, (b) these decorators are very talented (picture how bad these would be in hands of our usual Mon-Fri crew?).
And, I do suspect that last one was for some type of medical professional (I still think that the customer is not always right). The first ones in the post may, however, be for some poor unsuspecting pregnant woman... I hope for all of you who said you're pregnant that those who order & make your cakes are CW fans :)
@Sharyn and @Craig... LOL
Lastly: apparently, not everyone is revolted by the last cake. A colleague meandered by when I was posting my earlier comment (1:07 pm), told me to go home by taxi. I told him what I was writing, showed him the post, and he asked for me to send him the blog link. A new CW fan was created by THIS post!!
That last one seriously made me want to vomit. I'm soooo gonna have nightmares.
Dear Baking Pixie:
Don't be afraid. Childbirth is nothing compared to looking at some of these cakes.
Wow. Every time I think I've seen the least appetizing cake in the universe (usually on this site!)--I'm wrong. There is ALWAYS a worse cake.
Today's cakes are... wow... someone needs to invent a word for them -- but I can't. Looking at those cakes sprained something in my head.