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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jul222011

The Search for the World's Most Disturbing Shower Cake ENDS HERE

 

You know how I'm always telling you baby butt cakes could be so much worse?

 

 

Things are about to get so much worse.

 

Heads up!

Wow. This is so stinkin' sexy, I almost didn't even notice the outie belly button.

 

Because fetus cookies are SO last year:

Goes great with mother's milk.

And lots of screaming.

 

Proving once again that bakers are taking posts on this blog as inspiration:

I'm torn (ha! Ew.) between asking what that gray pouch thing hanging out is and desperately, desperately, not wanting to know. In fact, know what? Don't tell me. I'm never having kids, so knowing what the inner lining's poop chute or whatever looks like is just one of those things I never need to know. Seriously. Leave me to my blissful ignorance.

 

And finally, look. I realize that a lot of talent was required to make some of these wrecks - I do! However, no amount of talent will ever make any part of this look yummy to me:

 

In fact, you could say the amount of talent a baker has when making a placenta has an inverse reaction to how much I want to eat said placenta.

 

Or, in other words:

 

SWEET BETTY CROCKER I AM NEVER EATING AGAIN.

 

 

Thanks to Matt R., Sarah M., Carl G., & Heather A. for today's gut-busters. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to skip lunch.

« Sunday Sweets: Harry's Sweet Send-Off | Main | Atlantis, We Have a Problem »

Reader Comments (411)

Thanks for helping me stick to my diet today - YUCK!!!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteramanda

OK. Just because you ::can:: create cakes like these does not mean you ::should:: create cakes like these. Just sayin'.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDebbi

Some of these bakers need to never be allowed to bake again! These were terrible!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLizzy Leigh

I think you just discovered a new method of birth control. (Or at least incentive to USE birth control!)

WV: pebuff - to shine up little green peas

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary Jane

By far the most disgusting post I've EVER seen on here. Props!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

AAAAaaaaaggggghhhhhh!!!!

Thank you for making me stick to a diet today, or at least meditate on beautiful things to get that out of my head.

URCK.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIrisFleuron

PLEASE tell me the placenta is for an L&D nurse/doctor graduation

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

OMG That is so gross,how could anyone in their right mind want that as a cake let alone eat the damn thing lol it is just plain nasty

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElaine

...

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLiterateJedi

Words cannot describe my level of disgust. Seriously...these go beyond tacky, nausea-inducing and low-class.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The color of the baby on the last cake is awful. Poor thing must've failed his APGAR and is dead. :shudder: Awesome technical work but totally disgusting to imagine eating. Ugh.... Why oh why do people want these cakes? Why oh why do the bakers/decorators agree to make them?

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSugarFrosted

Gross.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGramie

honestly, I have no words - the dumb struck look on my face says it all.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

Seriously? I have been reading your posts for a long time now, but these are BY FAR the most disgusting things I have ever seen! ACK!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKathy B

They're creepy, they're hoary
they're altogether gory
It's Alien Adventures and
it's not a dream.

Deet-dee-dedeedee. No one can hear you scream!

Tune: Animaniacs Adventures?

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Oh god...WHHHYYYYY??!!
I had a gag relex to that last one!
Now I'm off to scrub my eyes and try to forget I saw taht!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I'm glad to see the first baby isn't coming out of her nipple (!!!!), because that's exactly what it looks like on the FB fan page (I guess because the thumbnail is so small, it makes it hard to see what's happening).

wow. Someone once told me that in the NYC stock exchange the hand gesture for too much information is to raise your hands over your head. When I saw these cakes I found my self doing just that. These "moms" who order these cakes are a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have been an L&D nurse. I have been an OR nurse. I have worked in a crazy OB hospital where patients cooked and ate placentas (fortunately not many). One would understand why I don't like meat. Now I'm not sure I can ever eat another piece of cake. In a weird way, thanks, Cake Wrecks. :Q must have been medical people who did those considering the specific setup of the back table. And yes, the fetus looks dead to me, too. BLECCH!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMimi

Dibs on the placenta!!!!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDana

WHY ARE PEOPLE ASKING FOR THESE?!?!?! All of these are the kind of cake that they don't just make to randomly sell out of the case. WHO is requesting this? Apparently cannibalism is a real thing not just reserved for murderers? This is EFFED UP. I will have nightmares. lol

Why? In the name of all that is holy? Why!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Ya know, at least it's not *real* placenta. Some people eat those things.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSkwishee

God, why???? Why would someone THINK any of those would be great... TO EAT or heck, replicate? ICK, put it on a post card.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpiecesofcandi

These are very creative, but still kind of disturbing. =D

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCool Fun Facts

ugh...so disgusting!!!! I am going to have nightmares!!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Oh.
My.
GOD!

What are these people thinking?!?

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commentershewolfe

That last one...what is WRONG with people!!!

Gina

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGina

Please relax about that grey thing!!! I have given birth to 4 children and have been present at the birth of about half of my grandchildren, and I have NEVER, ever, ever, EVER seen anything like that grey bag dangling out. There is no reason for it to be there, it is NOT a part of childbirth. Please just relax, and let it go.
Now the rest of them...I can't help you with. I don't understand eating a newborn, a placenta, and an entire medical procedure and calling it a good time.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBetty Martin

AHH!!!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Some people freeze-dry and encapsulate the placenta. Supposed to help prevent PPD. I never did it, but after the PPD I had with my first, maybe I should have.

Having said that, it does NOT need to be on a cake ever.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was thinking that the grossness of the last cake was due to the fact that the baby looks eerily still-born. And then I saw the placenta in a bowl. And then I saw the close-up. Seriously. What the hell? I need to go bleach my brain now ...

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMina

I swear, this is the third weird baby shower cake posting you've had since my best friend told me that she's pregnant. She no longer has a choice. She's getting a placenta cake.

People are sick.

No words can emphasize just how disturbing ALL of those cakes are. My initial reactions can barely do them justice:

omg...

OMG, LOL!

WHY, GOD, WHYYYYYYYYYYY???

WV: suppe
Something soupy-looking something something placenta something... *gag*

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMay

I'm nauseous and scarred for life.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterstuckinmypedals

I am suppose to have my baby in a few short weeks. I was nervous before reading this post. Now I am just terrified.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Baking Pixie

An additional thought:

Does the baker of the first cake understand how birth works?

I had a dream about being pregnant last night. Now I'll have a nightmare about it popping out of my bellybutton with fireworks. It'll be slightly reminiscent of that scene in Aliens that I accidentally saw when I was about four. That particular nightmare has haunted me ever since.

WV: alphob
That black sac-looking thing is technically referred to as the alphob.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMay

For the love of God, why would you want to cut into a baby or a pregnant women for a slice of cake, hope it is not red velvet. Gross

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

There's nothing I like better in a tableau than a display of placenta and a blue/green baby. SCRUMMY!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjulie

I'm not really grossed out until I remember: These are CAKES! Gack!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I would be most unhappy if anyone gave me a cake like that for a baby shower. The surgery one is really scary because it looks like a stillborn ready for an autopsy. =(

--Renee

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

...and then they sliced it and ate it.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterp

Hahaha well. I will say that after my first daughter was born, her placenta made me feel sick when I saw it, but after my second daughter I just thought it looked pretty cool. They look like trees :) Not that they make appetizing cakes though. Yikes. And this is coming from someone whose midwife cooked, dried, and encapsulated her placenta for ingestion. I was NOT gonna go fry it up and eat it, but I wasn't going to miss out on the benefits of consuming it either. It just looked like a vitamin when I ate it :)

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrittni

Aaaaaaahhhhhhh! That last one looks more like a baby autopsy!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMcConnehey

Okay I'm gonna say it. Don't mothers actually eat the afterbirth in some cultures? At least the cake version would probably go down a bit easier. Just sayin'.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle S

I just dont get why anyone would make a cake that looked like that, with utensils, baby and placenta. Really what is the purpose to something like that? Who makes that kind of request? I dont even know what to say.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterT Nicole

I am so glad I looked at this AFTER my lunch hour, because O.M.G.

Do people SERIOUSLY ORDER PLACENTA CAKES!?!?!?!!? What is going wrong with the world? What happened to a simple "Congradultions, Its a Gril!" cakes? Weren't we all happier with misspellings? Yes, I believe we were...

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commentererose1244

Well, I suppose we should be grateful that (a) the people who ordered these cakes are actually eating cake, not what the cake's representing, (b) these decorators are very talented (picture how bad these would be in hands of our usual Mon-Fri crew?).

And, I do suspect that last one was for some type of medical professional (I still think that the customer is not always right). The first ones in the post may, however, be for some poor unsuspecting pregnant woman... I hope for all of you who said you're pregnant that those who order & make your cakes are CW fans :)

@Sharyn and @Craig... LOL

Lastly: apparently, not everyone is revolted by the last cake. A colleague meandered by when I was posting my earlier comment (1:07 pm), told me to go home by taxi. I told him what I was writing, showed him the post, and he asked for me to send him the blog link. A new CW fan was created by THIS post!!

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

That last one seriously made me want to vomit. I'm soooo gonna have nightmares.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

Dear Baking Pixie:
Don't be afraid. Childbirth is nothing compared to looking at some of these cakes.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Wow. Every time I think I've seen the least appetizing cake in the universe (usually on this site!)--I'm wrong. There is ALWAYS a worse cake.

Today's cakes are... wow... someone needs to invent a word for them -- but I can't. Looking at those cakes sprained something in my head.

July 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterM.A.L. Diaries

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