My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Homophoned In

Here's one way to tell if a cake order was made over the phone:

Followed by a three hour tour?

[For the record, that joke makes me feel reeeeally old.]

John and I just sat here saying the words "our" and "are" ad nauseam. We sounded a lot like the seagulls in Finding Nemo: "Our? Are? Hour? R? Arr?"

Still, I take comfort in knowing you're all doing the exact same thing.

Now this one made us sound like the Count from Sesame Street. Which is to say, AWESOME.
In fact, from now on, I'm always pronouncing "welcome" like "wheeel come."

Sometimes a cake makes you wonder about its back story...

...but the good news is Sam actually didn't give a flying crap.

And finally, here's a girl with a need for speed:

Yep. Rose really likes to put the petal to the medal.

Thanks to Rachel N., Sarah D., Scot N., Kelly R., F.F., & Jon A., who only caught that last line because they've had their coffee. Good work, guys.

« Cake Wrecks: The People's Court Edition | Main | Overselling It »

Reader Comments (107)

I keep sitting here trying to figure out what Sam's cake was trying to say.

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterA.J.

Wow these bakers are horrible

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterScorp

These are so grate!!! I dyed laughing!

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Aww, you know the seagulls said, "Mine, mine, mine..." in Finding Nemo.

I guess I'm dense today--please help me with the "soar ass" cake. I can't figure out what it's supposed to be instead.

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCeeCee

These are too funny! The "bless are family" cake reminds me of this local commercial for a HVAC service company called "Air Comfort". Their tagline - "Because YOUR comfort is AIR comfort". Every time we hear it we spend the next 5 minutes saying "our" and "air" until neither make sense anymore!

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenniffer

I'm sitting here repeating "soar ass" in different accents trying to figure out what it was supposed to have! word verification is "scarch". Is that what you do if you have a "soar ass"?

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

*snort* The "We'll Come Program" huh? One more light mithpelling there and I'll be signing up in a heartbeat!

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterInvisibleman

I really wonder how people manage to mess up the most obvious of statements. You'd think it's nearly impossible - especially the "two hour" one... Ah, well. We can't all be goo'ed spillers.

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

I'd guess if you showed the "brake a leg" cake to 100 people, less than half would see anything wrong with it.

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterM. Dale

I think Sam had the first cake made for Nancy and Kay.


July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Pink Drink Ladies

"Bliss are Family."
We should all have such positive feelings about our families (are families?) My family's okay, but it aren't bliss.
And while I'm at it, I only wish I had a Two Hour Adventure to look forward to. My life is just not as full as those of these cake recipients.
Except for the soar ass.

WV:Ceris- No,I'm ceris, I need to evaluate my life!

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

In an attempt to make sense of Sam's cake, I've decided it's some inside joke they all have about how you pronounce "thesaurus." Perhaps the baker left off a second "the?" ("Thanks for the The Soar Ass, Sam.")

I also need to get my mind out of the gutter, because my first thought when I saw the "Count from Sesame Street cake" was that it was commemorating the kick-off of a new erectile dysfuntion drug.

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Is it a freudian slip thing that the "Soar Ass" cake is the color of baby poo??? I think so! :)

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Don't the seagulls say "mine!mine!" over and over??

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSantina

My guess about Sore Ass is "tsuris," which is Yiddish slang for woe or trouble. Also, I've heard it used to mean the kind of trouble that gives you heartburn. As in, "she's giving me tsuris." Just a guess, though. Not sure why you'd put that on a cake.

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAbby

I hope the "Thanks for the Soar Ass, Sam" cake is not misspelled gay wedding cake. The bakeries in New York must have been overwhelmed, but that's no excuse.

Hooray for NY!

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLola

I think soar ass, is probably some really screwed up form of service. Just my guess :)

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Wow, I'm glad I'm not the only one who couldn't figure out the truth behind the "soar ass"! I thought for sure I was missing something obvious.

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think Sam is an aerobics instructor, and "soar" was supposed to be "sore."

…but I like Sharyn's thesaurus idea!


July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The "Soar Ass" Sam cake made me think of "SORAS'ed" kids on daytime soaps. SORAS'ed stands for "Soap Opera Rapid Age Syndrome" which basically is when a child goes to camp a 3yo and comes home 21. LOL

But I too spent about 10 minutes trying to figure it out by saying it in different accents and faster and slower. LOL

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

"We'll Come Program Administration" your stupid meeting... but only if there's cake.

I've been there before at work, that's for sure.

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJB

CeeCee and Santina,

Yup. But being the huge Disney geeks we are, we spontaneously turn many words into seagull speak.

I often wonder if Jen and I are really fun people or just completely insane from lack of human interaction.

I think *twitch* we're *twitch* fun!


Can't...comprehend...stupidity D:

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm guessing Sam went on the two hour new adventure with Nancy and Kay and got a soar ass. But at least she didn't brake a leg like Rose did!

Frankly, I'm far more offended by the color of Sam's cake -- looks like something that comes out of you, not goes into you! Blech!


July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea K.

Sam is a birdwatcher. He showed the grateful people who ordered this cake some sora rails. No one but a birdwatcher has ever heard of a sora, so "soras" came out as "soar ass" ("soar" catching the whole bird motif).

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJKS

I, too, at first thought the third cake was an error...but the spermy things convinced me it was actually celebrating a successful, hands-on training program.

wv-haphot: some cakes are totally hot, but some are only haphot...

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

Pretty sure Sam gave someone a thesaurus. If I could get a cake for that, I'd be passing out thesauri right, left, and center!

WV: wealae--afflicted with weals. Just in case I'm wrong, the cake purchaser probably has a wealae ass.

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

John, Thanks for clearing that up about turning other words into seagull-speak. I believe that you and Jen are fun people, hilarious in fact. Please tell that me conversation often turns into movie quotes as well.
Unfortunately (fortunately?) at our house, Monty Python movie quotes often show up in the middle of a perfectly normal verbal exchange. My poor kids.

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCeeCee

My first thought was a three-hour tour as well, so I guess that I'm old, too.

I have *never* understood those who use "our" and "are" interchangeably. Is it bad diction, or just an inability to discern that they are, in fact, different words?

Sam's cake is thanking him for the sore ass? Wow, uh, I hope that he took someone horseback riding. :-/ Or maybe Sam is a producer for a soap opera--I mean, daytime drama--and an actor is thanking him for the SORAS--Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome--because it provided him with a job? I'm not sure that I want to ponder it too much.

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

Third cake:
When the invitation says "RSVP," it's even nicer if you send a cake to say you will attend.

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

J(thoj): I'm going with insane, myself. But the good kind. The kind of insane you like to invite to parties, because it saves you from having to hire the entertainment.

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

I think the bless " are" family cake must have been called in by a southerner. Cause our " our's" sound a lot like are.

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

For everybody wondering what "Thanks for the soar ass," was supposed to say:
I like the suggestion that it was meant to be "Thanks for thesaurus," but I think "soar" here is a misspelling of "sore." So, unless Sam gave someone a flying donkey, he probably took a friend on a long horseback ride, or lent somebody his bicycle, or gave somebody a birthday spanking that went on much too long.

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

"...but the good news is Sam actually didn't give a flying crap."

Good thing I'd put down my ice cream before I started reading this. My computer screen is most grateful. :P

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie



john: *stomp*

Jen: That roach is no more!

john: It has ceased to be!

Jen: It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late cockroach!


Jen: I suppose you should clean it up.

john: ew.

J(thoJ), I often turn words into seagull-speak, too. As well as throw random movie quotes into a conversation. One time, my husband said to me, "Life is summed up by movie quotes to you, isn't it?" I told him that no, sometimes it's song lyrics. :-P

Fluffy Cow, you misspelled your first sentence. What you meant was, "These our sew grate!" :-P

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

"Sam" is what they affectionately call Tinker Bell in Shrek. Just thanking her for the flying donkey, is all.

Would you like "mocabio" with your cake, Sam?

*walks away twitching* That's all folks - Ruth

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous


john: *stomp*

Jen: That roach is no more!

john: It has ceased to be!

Jen: It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late cockroach!


Jen: I suppose you should clean it up.

john: ew.

Bring out your dead?

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Petal to the Medal. Sweet.

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You and Jon are fabulous! I'm just glad that so many couples out there speak in movie quotes or song lyrics or Monty Python speak! Makes me feel more normal...whatever THAT is!

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLabgoddess

Having seen WAY too many instances of 'to / too' transposition (not to mention 'there / their / they're' and the ever-popular 'your / you're'), I choose to believe alternate theories for these cakes.

Crave novel experiences but don't have a lot of spare time? 'Two Hour New Adventures' is here for you!

Next, Mr. and Mrs. Bless found a clever and economical way to announce the birth of their first child (the local wreckerator charges by the letter).

Moving right along to 'irony overload', we see that "we'll" is both punctuated properly and used correctly. The wreckerator managed to get 'administration' right, and the writing is legible. The squiggly things look like lupin (lupine) from here. Cue 'Dennis Moore' theme.

Penultimately, local gliding instructor Assam receives his first 'thank you' cake, parsed in a most unfortunate way.

Finally, this is what can happen when you order a cake from 'Fred's Garage & Bakery'. But anything that has a daisy on it can't be all bad.

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Alternate #4 theory: Sam is a horse, the sender is a novice rider and the frosting color is meant to recall hay.

No, I don't know why anyone would send a cake to a horse. I'm just looking for innocent explanations for 'soar ass'.

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I think the color of the frosting is the perfect indication of the intent of Sam's cake. Originally, it was to say "Thanks for the green apple two step", but that wouldn't fit on a dinky little cake.

Really? wv: shients. I'll leave it to you.

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

"Soar Ass" is clearly a reference to the favorite saying of Flo from the series "Alice"--

"When donkeys fly!"

See Jen/John, I'm incredibly old too.

WV: Braeo. The sound made by a donkey as it flies off into the sunset

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

No, really in fact for sure I'm positive that last one is a daisy, not a rose. ;) OH THE IRONY

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBP

I made fondant monkeys recently, two of which were made to look like Skipper and Gilligan. It was freaky how many of the younger folk at the event totally did not get it. Meanwhile the older folk thought another monkey was a Jamaican while the younger recognized Jack Sparrow.

Pop culture has the ability to put you in your age-place really fast.

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

"Back" story for soar Sam? Wow...

wv: travelik - A valley girl verb. "I, like, would love to travelik all over the world!"

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTrekGirl

I have to ask, that last caption, was "petal" a reference to the tiny strange sunflower on the cake? Or some sort of misspelling?

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterthe peanut

As a high school English teacher, I see the mix-up between "are" and "our" all the time. In fact, that's probably one of the more frequent errors I correct.

I had a good laugh at people's offers to explain the "soar ass" cake. Because I often have to lean back, close my eyes, and sound out some non-existent word invented by a student, I did that in this case. I sort of thought that perhaps it was a phone-in order in which the customer asked for the cake to read "thanks for the service" (i.e. thanks for your years of service, or whatever). The baker may have rendered "service" as "soar ass," which still contains a spelling error, but that seems to pale in comparison to the larger error, doesn't it?

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"petal to the medal"
Love it! Very clever.

July 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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