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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jul292011

Stack the Wreck

 

Helen Keller once said,

 

"The best way out is always through."

Which is fabulous advice pretty much any time you're not constructing a multi-tier wedding cake.

 

Cake Construction: You're Doing it Wrong.

 

Let's go in for a closer look, shall we?

Wow. You know, no matter how contrite the baker might have been, I have to say: those really are the tiers of a clown.

 

[Bah dum CHA]

Thank you. Thankyouverramuuuch.

 

Thanks also to Holly M. for putting the "holey" in "Holey wedding cake with big gaping holes in it, Batman!"

UPDATE: The baker has spoken!! Yep, Laura, the good-humored creator of this holeyness, has contacted us to explain. It turns out she's actually *not* a professional baker [ack! Our bad].  I'll let her explain:

"In the Wilton course 3 kit (which I did not have), the pillars are meant to go through the cake, with the bottom pieces threaded through so that it looks like it isn't in the cake.  I simply bought the wrong pillars, the ones with the square bottom that is meant to sit on the separator plate and not actually go into the cake. When I pushed them into the cake, the square holes were the result."  

Ah, so it's Wilton's fault!  I knew it!  Well, I think I should mention that this was one of Laura's first cakes and she has since improved her cakey skillz a little bit:

Or, ya know.  A lot bit.

Thanks for being such a good sport, Laura, and for setting the record straight.

 

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Reader Comments (72)

What.

July 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Tiers of a clown....

Best pun ever!

July 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh man what a horrid thing to do to someone's wedding cake. I hope they got the deposit back or something. Wow I can't even think of how or why a cake decorator could do this to someone's cake unless this was the first one they made? :( I can see a bridezilla going nuts on this one..and I would agree with her lol.

July 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Nice Elvis impression, Jen!

July 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSusanB.

Well how should something like this be done?

July 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Anonymous @ 11:18: "Well how should something like this be done?"

There are many different tiered cake construction techniques, each using a different set of tools to create different effects.

Some cakes are made with support pillars that have narrow bottoms, which are meant to push through the cake and rest on the plate beneath. Other pillars have wide bottoms, which are meant to rest on a plate without touching the cake (the plate can sit on the table or on top of the lower cake layer).

In this instance, the wreckerator used wide-bottomed columns as if they were narrow-bottomed columns. This put big square holes in the cake and made the whole thing lopsided.

So, to answer your question: use the right tools, have plenty of icing on hand, and if you are adding a cake topper, choose one that is the appropriate size and weight for the cake.

July 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

I think the point was to save time by not having to clean the pillars...

July 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterUTstatsgirl

Ouch. Who's NOT gonna see that?

July 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFun377

I don't buy the punch-through theory. The edges of the holes are pushed up, as would be the case with someone using a knife or a saw. Punching with something left in place would result in edges pushed into the hole.

I also don't see any clear evidence of cake -- I think the lower tiers are hollow, made of either cardboard or drywall and 'frosted' with what looks like plaster of Paris. Only the top tier is real -- it is for the couple to enjoy on the first anniversary.

The square holes are meant to accommodate different column styles -- the wreckerator simply forgot to hide the holes with flowers, piping, bathtub caulk, grommets, duct tape, etc.

July 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I agree with the other posters about the Lladro figurine...I don't even think it was meant to be a cake topper; I've hefted a Lladro piece much smaller than that and it felt like a paper weight!

Many think that decorating with tiers is a piece of cake ('scuze the pun), but obviously a little bit of physics or maybe even an inkling of DIY common sense is necessary to pull something like this off...

July 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDaisy

I'm just wondering what the mess of piping on the right side of the middle tier is. Was it perhaps to cover up the big hole the decorator left behind when she thrust the square columns through the cake while she was busy watching tv? And after they were done they looked at the cake and said "Oh crap, I'll just put this mound of icing on the side and put round columns instead of square columns. Maybe no one will notice."

July 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlexa

wow. just wow.

July 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOGLADI

No one's mentioned this yet, but the file names for both pictures say "engagement" rather than "wedding."

The good news: an engagement party cake would be seen by fewer people and have less relevance to the big event than a wedding cake-- fewer hurt feelings, less chance of anyone getting sued.

The bad news: if it's not a wedding cake, odds are good that every last one of those tiers is made of real cake.

wv: satic - Only satic electricity is holding that top tier in place.

July 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Okay, there is no excuse for this. Even as a kid I knew that you DON'T CUT HOLES in a cake for pillars like that.

I have to question the brain power of the baker here. Bad enough the overall decorating is poor and I've done BETTER than that as a kid.

July 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the cake topper pushed the supports down thru the cake.

July 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm just so confused..How could this happen? I've seen those invisible pillars, but you just push them right into the cake. You don't need to like, dig a hole...

July 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergirlwiththemostcake

I love the fact you had posted a wedding cake on July 29, since it's my anniversary! Hope the marriage is more on the level and with a few less um,holes, than the cake!

July 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelody

best cakewrecks pun of all time!

August 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArun

Ok, I can understand the bakers explanation, and I feel for her I'm sure this happened after she had the cake almost finished, so of course she can't redo it, but come on... leaving gaping holes in the cake? I'm an amateur but even I could cover those decently with frosting. Her more recent cake is lovely.

August 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRachael

The last thing that a bride wants to do on their wedding day is feel on the heavy side. "So you're saying that I can cause the ground to implode, eh? Turn the 3rd floor into the 1st floor? Let me at'em!" Hopefully it tasted good. Nothing worse than a cake that tastes bad too!

August 24, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpadfoot04

I just wanted to let everyone know that this cake was made for my family's dessert one night (many years ago!). I made it because I wanted to try out the pillars that I learned about in a Wilton class, but I unfortunately bought the wrong ones. I wasn't planning on decorating it -- and didn't even color the icing, so when I was done, I added a quick shell border & threw on my cake topper that was on my wedding cake. I never looked at this cake as though it was for an actual wedding, and now that I am, I can see where all the comments come from...but rest assured, no bride had to suffer any disappointment with this cake. For those of you who think this is the worst you've seen, I can only say that you have not spent enough time on this website. So, look up wedding cakes, and prepare to laugh until you cry. Enjoy! And thanks again Jen & John for keeping us all entertained!!

August 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

I think you more than proved your worth in the new photo added. Very nice!

September 8, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLiza

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