My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

I'll Just Have The Salad, Thanks.

Never before has a delicious food made to look like another delicious food made me want to LOSE my food this:

To be fair, this is exactly what pizza looks like - if you make it with old Cheez Whiz, moldy beet slices, algae, and blueberries. (AKA the "Nothing beets berry cheesy seaweed!" special.)


I was about to ask why someone would make a cake that looks like cherry pie...

...but then I realized no one did.


[What do you mean, "no one says that anymore?" I just heard some hep cat on the YouTubes saying it last week! Stop crammin' my jive, H-dub.]

[I do SO know what I'm saying, John. You're just jelly of my lyrical songifications, mug-buzz.]


Not entirely sure what's happening here, but I'll tell you this:

That's fowl.

"See, just imagine the caramel sauce as glistening rivulets of semi-congealed grease, and the green stuff as... Hey! Where are you going?"


And finally, put down that coffee, and allow me to introduce you to...

Cockroach Steak: the other other white meat.


All hail Greg, Emily H., Lindsay I., and Erica R., slayers of appetites!


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Reader Comments (72)

Sharyn -- I agree --skipping the dessert buffet at the A.D.N.A.U.S.E.U.M meeting is de rigueur ever since a bunch of attendees fell ill after eating, leading to the development of G.E.R.D. (Group of Experienced Reluctant Decorators.) Unfortunately, their organization has not stabalized, and they keep bringing up past events, making some things hard to swallow.

August 15, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

I'm embarrassed to report that when I saw the Cherry Pie cake, I started humming the song by Poison. Sigh.

August 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWill

Well I loved turkey til I saw this post. At least I think that thing with legs is a turkey lol. Wow way to get me on a diet evil wreckerators lol.

August 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Hi, I'm a newly converted wreckerator! I'm loving your posts and am happily working my way through the archives! But today the archives and blog by month options on the right hand side have disappeared! Am I going to have to go cold turkey???!

August 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Morris

looks like someone put caramelized sugar all over those last two.
and that pizza must be the protein shake of the pizza world.

August 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDouglas

lol, my 21 month old daughter is sitting beside me. She can barely talk, but has never seen Cake Wrecks before. As she sat here, playing with her sorting cups, she glanced at the computer screen, saw today's wrecks, pointed and said (with all feeling), "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!"

August 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbrooke

In defense of the turkey: real turkey looks just as gross, they've captured the essence of the thing! Maybe not the specific details (are those ribbons?), though.

August 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCastor

I dare someone to use that horrid steak cake at their wedding!

August 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKarla in CA

It is possible to make a Cake that actually looks like a pie...

August 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenn (not that Jen)

That cherry pie cake looks like a festering wound with boils about to burst....

August 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShannah

Ulcers. That's what I saw on the second cake.

(..and the fact that I'm a molecular biologist did not help me from staring at it longer and describing it in more detail in my mind. You do not want to know what I saw. We'll leave it at "ulcers")

August 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLalis

Sadly, Baskin Robbins never got rid of that awful turkey cake. Smart stores, however, won't make it because it always ends up looking like greasy, filthy, putrid goo.

August 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterErika

@Castor - Even better! It's cut up waxed paper and Scotch tape. Delish!

August 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

Why is it so shiny?!?

August 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

The "steak" reminds me of a BBQ tongue..Gross

August 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeanne

Maybe I'm just a huge geek, but that last one looks like Radroach Meat to me. If you've never played Fallout 3, look it up.

August 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJet

The pizza wreck looks like okonomiyaki, which is (and I am NOT making this up) pizza crust topped with squid ink sauce, dried bonito flakes, and mayonnaise. It tastes about as good as it sounds :P

August 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterfurbearingbrick

My boss once brought in a tray of cupcakes decorated like spaghetti w meatballs and I had to eat one and act like I enjoyed it. This brought back that memory just before breakfast. Thanks CW! sigh

August 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPeachMcD

I cannot breathe. ahahahaha

August 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNicola

OMG that's so funny! I've always lol'd @ anything gross, so this was HILARIOUS!!!

Oh, I spot a reference to The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride? Cuz I think I do!

July 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMeaghan

I'll take the salad too.

December 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermooseluver

Efforts to cover
The Bog of Eternal Stench
need less latticework.

January 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

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