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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Sep012011

NOOOOOO!!!

Poor Darth Vader. He used to be the baddest of the bad guys, the deadliest dad, and the grumpiest force-choker around. Over the years, however, he's been reduced to a cuddly bear, a Hello Kitty parody, and a really excellent dancer.

Adding to the indignity, George Lucas has now added even more "tweaks" to the original Return of the Jedi which has the Internet on FIRE with all of geekdom up in arms. Most lampooned was the addition of a rather entertaining Vader yell, which has been described as "ridiculous," "undignified," and "Dude, it's a yell. What's the big deal?"

Well, never fear, fellow fans! I'm here to help.

In fact, I promise you'll never think that yell is undignified again.

Compared to these.


NOOOOOOO....

OOOOOO.....

OOOOOOO....

Oh. Actually, this one's not so bad - since it's plastic and all. I just find it funny to imagine Vader using contractions. Go on, say it in your head. "LUKE I'M YOUR FATHER." No? Just me?

 

Right, moving on.

[Inhale]

....OOOOOOOOOO!!!!

 

 

 A grateful force-choke to Timbrely, Clare, Julie Anne D., Annie L., Arielle C., and Brenda J. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to watch the Vader TomTom commercial again. That thing cracks. me. up.

« We Have A "Winner"! | Main | "Head" Lines »

Reader Comments (93)

I don't see Darth Vader anywhere on this page. Now I'm not the biggest Star Wars nerd, but I respect the force. Really Build-A-Bear? And who the CRAP makes a "Hello Kitty" themed Vader costume??? THEY ARE POLAR OPPOSITES. And don't get me started to him dancing to MC Hammer. Darth.Vader.Does.Not.Dance.

And those cakes are truly wrecks. I feel sorry for whoever go the one for their wedding cake. I hope they got a refund.

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie R

Don't forget Vader as adorable kid in the VW commercial. Love that one.

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Okay, the links are hysterical...the cakes are just pathetic!

My son actually has the Darth Vader costumes for his teddy bears (as well as a Jedi Master and Captain Rex). He loves Star Wars, but the real Darth Vader is pretty scary for a 6 year old--so this is a "safer" bad guy for him. I think my 6-year-old daughter might actually not be terrified of Darth Vader now that he's pink and wearing Hello Kitty! (They refer to him as "you know who", since the real thing, or even mention thereof, freaks them out.)

LOVED the Darth Vader and Yoda TomTom commercials.

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTwinMom

I agree with Haggles, the second one is definitely Stewie as Darth Vader in Family Guy! http://images.wikia.com/familyguy/images/9/93/Stewie_as_Vader.jpg

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

That first one looks like the idol that Indiana Jones stole at the beginning of Raiders.

Thanks for posting the Hello Kitty Vader suit! If only I cd see my boss wearing that, my day wd be complete.

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJeanette

#3 looks more like Chewbacca.... and that last one? A ménage a trois with an alien and an Ewok??? No matter what, I'm scared ::shudder::

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlex Dreamz

I think the problem here is that you seem to be under the impression that these cakes were intended to be of DV. I think they are made to be the likenesses of his love children. The first is clearly DV's love child with Yoda. I'm not sure about the second, but the third is with a wookie. Or perhaps Wilfred Brimley, I'm not sure.

The fourth is clearly DV himself, but the fifth is the child he fathered with a nun. I suspect either Mother Theresa or perhaps the VM herself, it's hard to tell.

How can you not see these? It's so obvious. Isn't it? Please say it's not just me.

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChakolate

Did you ever see the Vader smack-down in Epic Rap Battles of History? It is on Youtube, and very worthy of a view.

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKalyca

Aheeheehee! Oh man, I totally heard a "balloon deflating sadly" noise in my head with the second one. XD

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle

The second one is almost a good rendition of the Legion of Doom headquarters from Super Friends.

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjbrecken

The second one kinda looks like the Stewie version of Darth Vader from the Family Guy special episodes where they parody Star Wars...lol

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

I don't know whether I should scream BWAHAHAHAH!!!! HAHAHAhAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA or NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDarthZannah

That last one looks like Clytus from "Flash Gordon" doing blackface. Just sayin'.

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I'd never seen that DV commercial, which has me doing that embarrassing, alone-at-work-but-out-loud-laugh thing. Here's one of my all-time favorite DV commercials, though. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R55e-uHQna0&NR=1

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaurie

My 20 month old daughter, sitting on my lap, called out "DOG!!!!" at the last one.

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFauve

My seven year old daughter thinks the third one looks like a dog. I agree -- a Schnauzer. She is laughing hysterically calling him Dog Vader.

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWho-In-Whoville

So, anybody else think the first couple look like the illicit love children of Vader and Twiki?

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSherrie

am i the only one that thinks the last one looks like a cyberman who got the metal rods ripped off his head and replaced with a bonnet? anyone? anyone? no.... oh............ LUKE, I AM YOUR FALKERSATHERHOOD!!!! heheh..... i should make that cake.....

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTerrs

Isn't it sad when the one with the plastic flotsam is actually the best of the lot despite the silly contraction?

For #1 and #2, either something stepped on him and squished his head or he's melting and all that's left is his foreshortened head.

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

"Luke, I'm Your Father" - that's the cake you give to Luke after the results of the paternity test come in. Bleg!

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTimelord1

I love Patton Oswalt's take on George Lucas' recent...ahem...edits.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDCjIjsZp_Y

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKristers

my brain hurts. Darth Vader is a bad guy- BAD!! ugh

okay, you'd linked mentioned Vader/Hammertime before and though I don't usually like to see them out of character I've favorited that on Youtube. Epic Win

I'm also about to buy a GPS so looks like I'll be getting a TomTom since I'd love Yoda to give me directions. EPIC WIN

Finally, Han shot first. Sometimes if you don's shoot first you're too dead to shoot second.

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Is it bad that what bothers me most is that Darth Vadar says "NO, I am your father." NOT "LUKE, I am your father." ??

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeilani

The last one looks like an alien in a hoodie!

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJess

My all-time favorite Vader video is Vader Being a Jerk. I laugh every single time I see it!

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCaren

LUKE, I AM YOUR FALKERSATHERHOOD!!!!

OK between this and the TomTom commercials I am laughing really hard right now. Normally this would be good, but I just had a c-section on Sunday so I am afraid I might bust a gut - literally.

Hubby is gonna ban me from looking at cake wrecks for 6 weeks if I am not careful.

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKat

jbrecking and Anna are on to something: "Meanwhile, at the Hall of Doom."

As for the last cake, I think he reminds me of a Death Eater from the Harry Potter flicks.

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWill

You know, Spock doesn't use contractions either. What existential connection can we now make between Darth Vader and Spock?

September 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVanessa

The contraction actually makes perfect sense. He's quoting the Death Star Gangsta Rap.

-Obi Wan would never bother telling you about your father.
-He told me enough; he told me you killed him.
-There is something I must reveal then. I'm your father. I'm your father. I'm your father. I'm your father
...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=493ljyoox6o

September 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

The line would have lost so much impact if he had said "I'm" instead of "I am". Love the TomTom vid by the way, thanks!

September 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

I am dying of laughter just looking at that last cake. Poor Vader not only did his helmet go grey his head looks like it was squished. Ahh hilarious post.

September 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Every time my 2 1/2 year old sees your background loading up, he says "Can we see the Doff Veedur cakes, Mom?"

This totally made his day. Thanks.

September 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTheMama

That first one makes Darth look like an Angry Bird!

September 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTee

My favorite Vader commercial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R55e-uHQna0

September 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

At least the fourth cake didn't say, "Luke, I'm you're father."

September 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Am I the only one who saw the Hall of Doom (Super Friends) in the 2nd cake? http://images.wikia.com/marvel_dc/images/5/5c/Hall_of_Doom.jpg

September 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDecemberrain

If you add ears to the last one I see the rabbit from Donnie Darko. Great, Frank's following me :'(.

September 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDany

That last one is hilarious. It looks like a little ruffled cloth hood - clearly an alternative to sunscreen.

September 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGreenwick

NOOOOOO!!!!!


http://nooooooooooooooo.com/

September 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMatt Tzvi

The second one looks like Darth vader's little known pet, Darth Pug.

September 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMani

Evil incarnate
lacks that feminine appeal.
Time to break out tulle.

November 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Uhhh.. I think they *are* going to need the Force for the 2rd one. It looks like an evil Chiuaua.

November 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterG

Maybe I'm just being a crazy Earthbound fangirl when I say this, but...

Cake #3 oddly resembles the infamous boss Giygas from the video game series mentioned above.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

November 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCam

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