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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Sep212011

Stop. Helping.

It's only natural, I know. You see all the wreckage on this blog and you think, "Ok, but surely I can keep my order from being wrecked, right? I mean, all I have to do is help the baker out a little!

"Why, if I just spell it out clearly, military style..."

Nice job, Ace.

 

"Or maybe if I write it all down...

 

"And if I indicate which part is the actual text..."

 

"Um... Or what if I ask for just a single letter? That's easy, right?"

Color me impressed. Or magenta. 

 

"Ok, fine, I get it. You've made your point. No text. I guess I'll just ask for a flower or something."

 "AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGHHH!!"

 

Thanks to Katy E., Cristina B., Terry M., Brandt H., & Anony M. for making this post literally painful. 

« The "Wonders" (of) Punctuation... | Main | Don't Hate the Player, Hate the Game »

Reader Comments (72)

I sometimes wonder if bakers/decorators/wreckorators intentionally do that... of course if they know their jobs are on the line you'd think that they wouldn't intend to mess up, right?

September 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Umm...military don't use those words. it would be:

A as in ALFA
C as in CHARLIE
E as in ECHO

Helloooooo.

September 21, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdust

What. could. They possibly. Be thinking.
Seriously? I'm guessing no thought. whatsoever.

(must....copy....exactly...or die...)

@ Sharyn
Just. Awesome.

September 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

at last photo...makes me laugh out loudly !
what makes baker do this way? XD

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenternobb

OK......Did anyone else notice the lonely looking quotation marks at the beginning of the first cake. They start but they don't seem to end... does the wreck continue? is this the first part or a huge multi cake spanning wreck spectacular?

Or is it just another sad element to this one cake's epic fail!

I'm going with option 2!!

Big Love!!

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVelvetfeet

What's wrong with the first one?

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCody

A - another

C - crazy

E - Epcot.

Only a baby one though :P

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWolverine Girl

Wonderful post! Probably my favorite post ever! I love these wrecks.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCyndi

It's too bad about the writing on the Hawaiian shirt one.... that was actually pretty bada$$ for a cupcake cake!

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKoryAK

When I read the first one, I assumed it was for ACE Tutoring (a real company according to Google). I thought maybe ACE was a company that helped elementary kids with reading and writing. I still halfway think that's what it means.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJane

I'm with everyone else that had to read above the picture to get the first one - then it got funnier and funnier until I was wiping tears. Nice job, Ace - LOL
I also liked the Hawaiian shirt - nicest CCC you've shown.

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterblue42

This post reminds me of the passage from Alice Behind the Looking Glass. Maybe some time you can work it in to a post:

`You are sad,' the Knight said in an anxious tone: `let me sing you a song to comfort you.'

`Is it very long?' Alice asked, for she had heard a good deal of poetry that day.

`It's long,' said the Knight, `but very, very beautiful. Everybody that hears me sing it -- either it brings the tears into their eyes, or else -- '

`Or else what?' said Alice, for the Knight had made a sudden pause.

`Or else it doesn't, you know. The name of the song is called "Haddocks' Eyes."'

`Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?' Alice said, trying to feel interested.

`No, you don't understand,' the Knight said, looking a little vexed. `That's what the name is called. The name really is "The Aged Aged Man."'

`Then I ought to have said "That's what the song is called"?' Alice corrected herself.

`No, you oughtn't: that's quite another thing! The song is called "Ways and Means": but that's only what it's called, you know!'

`Well, what is the song, then?' said Alice, who was by this time completely bewildered.

`I was coming to that,' the Knight said. `The song really is "A-sitting On A Gate": and the tune's my own invention.'

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdws689

@Velvetfeet: the quotation mark on the first cake are actually does have a pair. Look at the right of the last line, there's the closing one!

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEni

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!! (by the way, I'm twelve.)

September 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHannah A

These read like they were outsourced to India. Hilarious.

September 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

I too am ashamed to admit that I didn't get the first one right away... But man, these were good. I LOVED 2 and 4. I could envision 4 being in a bakery case and people walking by wondering what the joke is. It almost seems like a very twisted celebratory cookie for some little girl.

September 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Also, as seen on the "C C" cake, you could do an entire day's posts about how NOT to color-coordinate the writing icing with the flowers or other decorations. Seriously - bright red lettering with aqua roses? Which are shedding lots of petals, btw.

My other pet peeve these days with grocery store cakes and their balloons - if a balloon is filled with helium the string should be taut and straight, not curly! Call me picky!

September 27, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterisitjustmeor

OK. "I Want Sprinkles" had my eyes watering with laughter. This one had tears streaming down my face with GUFFAWS!!!!

October 23, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermochazina

what is wrong with the first cake???? i need it literally spelled out for me!

November 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertaylor

Thanks for the tips, Kiko.

Maybe there's a business opportunity here for an entrepreneurial English major to offer "grammar for decorators."

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

Reminds me of a birthday cake that we ordered for our friend, Em -- when we called, we said " It should read Happy Birthday Em; E-M."
So, of course we got a cake that read:
Happy Birthday Mem

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJes

Yup, Hawaiian shirts seem to be the one and only subject that can be successfully portrayed by a ccc .

September 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRmbebb

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