My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Listen! Do You Smell That?

Yesterday I read an article about "swallowable perfume," a new form of perfume that comes in capsules. That you swallow. Ergo, "swallowable perfume."

Look, I couldn't make this stuff up, guys.

Anyway, it got me to thinking: how long before this is incorporated into food? You know, like cake? And what would an ingestible perfume cake look like, anyway? Would decorators try to reflect the scent in the cake's design?

These are all important questions, which I think deserve answers. You know, for science. And laughs. But mostly science.

So, as a public service, here are a few suggestions for some classic perfume scents:



This would have to be a revamped formula, of course, with top notes of blood, wet dog, and a little patchouli.



Lucky for me, I've developed an immunity to iocane powder.


I'm sure you've heard of Chanel #5, but here's one for its lesser-known predecessor, Chanel #2:

Q: Why did Tigger have his head in the river?

A: He was looking for Pooh! Because Poo smells grrrrreat!


White Shoulders


I bet you never realized how weird that perfume name was until right now.



Something here doesn't add up.



Even the balloons are defying the laws of gravity!


Lucky You


Say, here's a tip:





Ah. Never mind; false alarm.



Thanks to Sarah P., Crazy Z., Michelle S., Caren, Celeste G., Amy C., & Colleen W. Smell you later, guys!

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Reader Comments (83)


September 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJax

I would love to get in touch with the baker of the headless bride cake. I am having a firefighter themed birthday party for my son, and if that cake was done in red, it would be a perfect fire hydrant.

September 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaryB

The "White Shoulders" cake? That is to illustrate what would have happened if Fezzik had not pulled Buttercup from the water in time. In fact, that might even be a shrieking eel on the last cake.

September 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

i don't think the shoulders are fit - i think her nonexistant arms are tied behind her back. not only is she headless, she's been hogtied!

September 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjohnsmom

I can't believe no one remembers this from the old cartoon! Pooh is *clearly* playing "pooh sticks." C'mon, guys!

September 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMairvin

I wonder if the baker accidentally gave the bride torso lopsided bazoombas, or if he was just copying from real life and got a little too caught up in the realism. Either way, if I was her, I'd be pissed.

September 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJanellionaire

Perfume in pill form has been around in Japan for a while now. There's also a pill dainty girls can take so their poop doesn't smell bad. And a chewing gum that causes you to exude perfume from your whole body after you chew it. I got the Extra Rose Menthol flavor for my boyfriend, not realizing what it was. He smelled like flowers for days.

September 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDG

I think you cheated and snapped the last two at the same party.

September 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPaul

Forget why Tigger put his head in the water. I want to know why he's doing to Pooh. And why he's doing it on a (presumably) children's cake!!

September 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSara

I just have to say that I LOVE how many posts have Princess Bride quotes :D

September 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

It's Willie the Whale! (Yes, WIllie was a sperm whale.)


September 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFixer

A Dr. Seuss Birthday Book birthday cake? It's kinda cute even if it is wrecky...

September 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHAL

WHAT the heck are those supposed to be on the Pooh cake? My roomie suggested rocks, but they're clearly piles of...yeah...

September 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelizabeth

I had to comment....this is my favorite Ghostbusters quote of all time. So simple, yet so genius, just like this blog.

September 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterA Martini Always Helps

The circumcision one reminds me of a cake my uncle ordered for my grandfather's 75th birthday a few years ago. It was supposed to be a joke- it said, "Congratulations Sheldon on Your Second Bris" family has a weird sense of humor. (That's why I love them!)

September 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLucy

Edible scents indeed...incidentally, one lovely day in a graduate social psychology class (in the good ol' USA), my teacher passed out some candy that distinctly wore the brand name "LifeSaver" on the side. We were all to take one and eat it, then fill out a survey indicating how we felt about the candy: its taste, its appeal, would we buy it, etc. I thought the candy tasted AWFUL, and if it weren't for common decency and politeness, I would have stood up and spit it away derisively (and maybe lost my lunch in the trash can for good measure...vomit tastes better than THAT). Everyone else thought it was just fine, maybe even good...but that was the point of the lecture: cultural differences in taste. As Alli pointed out, musk flavored LifeSavers are apparently an accepted "flavor" in Australia, even well liked by some. Personally, I hate the smell of musk and won't get close to anyone wearing it, which explains my aversion to its vicious assault on my taste buds.

September 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRabbit

"Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy; fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!

Swallowable perfume. Mint don't fool the breathalyzer, Chanel won't cut the ...

September 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Jen, it's your duty to go become a science teacher so you can educate an entire generation that science is COOL (and funny, but mostly cool) and edible. My teachers never did that for me. public schooling- ha!

September 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Yes the whale looks like an eel but why is it shooting what looks like a Disney princess from it's blowhole, what has that got to do with circumcision....what do candles have to do with circumcision, what's he going to wish for, to have it sewn back on, and why.......argghnngghhh, brain just gave out completely....

..and oh Tigger, you dirty, dirty, boy!

September 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Oh, my.
After doing poo in the river, Tigger is now doing Pooh on the bank.
Oh, my.

And what's that picture on a stick stuck into the "Congrats on Your Circumcision!" cake?
Please tell me it's not a photo of the aforesaid surgery in progress.

September 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Janellionaire said:

"I wonder if the baker accidentally gave the bride torso lopsided bazoombas, or if he was just copying from real life and got a little too caught up in the realism. Either way, if I was her, I'd be pissed."

OK, Jan, the figure has no head, no arms, no waist, and no hips, and you focus on the fact that the "bazoombas" are slightly asymmetrical?
I think we have a problem here!

September 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I KNOW Tigger only bounced Pooh, because that is what Tiggers do...but, really, my teenage daughter wondered "Why is Tigger having sex with Pooh?" Now I am sad. We can't show Tigger bouncing anymore.
Is that a whale with a cake on its spout? Or something other than a whale related to the cake theme?

September 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

YAY! for the Dread Pirate Robert's reference! The Princess Bride is one of my ALL TIME favorite movies!! Thanks again for being wonderful at what you do!

September 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

So, the congrats on the circumcision - was he the recipient or the performer of said procedure? Maybe the cake was for the Mohel? (Instead of a -ahem- tip, you get a cake!)

Reminds me of when I was a nursing student on the OB floor and we used to send the foreskins down to the burn unit for skin grafts for people who had lost eyelids. (What- it's retractable tissue - it's got a purpose!) It worked great except they all looked a little cockeyed... Thanks again - I'm here til Thursday! Try the Veal!

September 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary Anne

uhh is tigger umm humping pooh...?

September 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterluna

Oh my word! This reminded me of high school trips to a local candy store, where they sold these vintage candies:

Also known as Perfume Candies, Magnolias were the forerunner of breath mints. They come in assorted floral flavors and have a liquid center. White - Carnation, Pink - Rose, Orange - Jasmine, Yellow - Cashou, Green - Pear Blossom, Blue & Purple - Violet.

(And yes, I'm totally trying to ignore some of the implications of the cakes.)

September 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterInkFiend

My husband and I always used to say our children's loaded diapers smelled like roses and Chanel #5. Swallowing some perfume just might make our snide comments come true.

September 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Winnie did Poo! But if he took an edible perfume capsule it won't stink!

September 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJillei

The vampire cake: "I'll run with you" --that's insane - you can't actually run with* vampires - they're too fast!

September 12, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkat

AAAAAHHHH HA HA!!!! That is my MOST FAVORITE Ghostbusters quote! Definitely top 3 anyway, but it's the one I say the most often by far. Because it's AWESOME. AND no one ever believes me that it came from a movie (let alone that movie), so I guess they all gloss over it, which sucks because it hasn't gotten any less awesome in the last 3 seconds. AND it's really hard to say with a straight face especially because no one gets it.

And of course, "I do not think that word means what you think it means."

September 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdessertschick

First-time poster, long-time fan! I couldn't help but notice a few things. First, the vampire cake also says "Bite me" on the top right. Secondly, the red sqare thing covered in red powder on the second cake ("Poison") has the word "red" written on it, which is showing through its decorative powder. And lastly, I understand that lots of people thought "sperm whale" on the circumcision cake, but I immediately thought it was a Moby Dick reference... Or maybe I am sick and twisted. ;) Who on earth would want a cake for that occasion?

September 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLissa

Gary said, about the "White Shoulders" cake: "the figure has no head, no arms, no waist, and no hips" Sooo...this is actually the "Boxing Helena" cake?

And why IS the whale shooting Sleeping Beauty out his blowhole?

October 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTerri

Wow, okay, I just read the beginning of that article, and what they're describing sounds like something scientists describe at the beginning of a superhero show or comic book, just before the experimental product they're describing creates a supervillain. And a supervillain with perfume-based powers might seem lame at first, until they learn to use their power to replicate OTHER gasses.

This is dangerous stuff.

May 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDylan R.

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