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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jan172012

Terribly Inappropriate

A few of you are aware that today is a kind of milestone for me, since it's the day John and I planned many months ago to end this blog.

I'm happy to report this is not goodbye, however. You'll be stuck with me - bad puns and all - for a while longer at least.

So, to celebrate the fact that absolutely nothing noteworthy is happening here today, allow me to present something really inappropriate:

See? It's seasonally inappropriate!

[head tilt] Er...among other things.

And really, wouldn't "Happy HooHoo" sound better? Or did the baker realize - as I just did - that that sounds like a new feminine hygiene product?

"Happy HooHoo: for all your salsa-dancing/horseback-riding/splashing-through-the-ocean-surf needs. Because you totally do those things. If you're a REAL woman."

 

Ok, that veered into unexpectedly inappropriate places. Sorry. Let's stick with seasonal impropriety, shall we? You know, like this:

"Hey. I'M UP HERE."

Something something dairy-free! Haha!

Feels good to get that off my chest.

The nuts, I mean.

The CRUSHED nuts, I mean. Jeez. Get your mind out of the gutter already. It's getting crowded in here.

 

Ok, forget seasonally inappropriate: this is just plain wrong.

HOLY UNFORTUNATE STEM PLACEMENT, BATMAN.

Well, maybe more logs than stems...

[rimshot!]

 

Thanks to Megan H., Dion H., & Katie B. from the bottom of my peach.

« I Got Your Back, PA | Main | Everything MUST GO! »

Reader Comments (168)

I am crying with laughter!!! However it's not only because I'm so happy to hear that CW is not closing down today. I've never been so shocked & relieved to get such non-news. We love you Jen & John, your humor, your quips, your puns. Even your Epcots. Take care of yourself, and your needs, but don't leave us please I would miss you too much. Please envision Puss in Boots begging eyes graphic here.

Thank you for all you do to brighten my life/day! Undereneat that - I Want Sprinkles.
Maggie

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaggieck

Ack! I freaked out a little when you said you'd been planning to end this site. Now that I've recovered, I have to say that the peach (?) things were more than a little horrifying. My boyfriend saw the picture and asked if the leaves (?) were maxi pads.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSam

Dear Jen

Let me make a proposal to you on behalf of all the loyal readers of CW who never ever ever ever want to see you suffer from blog burn out so bad that you go away...(did I mention NEVER EVER ??!!)

So my proposal is this...when you are feeling drained, blue, burnt out, blah, or just really want to have a day where you play video games until your thumbs bleed, we - the loyal readers of CW - will write the funny bits for you, all you have to do is post a pic and title it "Make You Own Darn Funny Today". We will know this is our cue to add our comments and our own punch lines.

Who knows, maybe there are some budding bloggers out there. We all know no one compares to you, but we can certainly give it a go. Consider it your Get Out Of CW Jail Card. Whadda ya think?

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjuliebt

I'm glad you took time for yourself and got to feeling better. I'll be happy to have CW for as long as it remains a good thing for you to be doing.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Add me to the (never ending?) list of readers who are ever so glad you are still here. Please don't let it stress you out, though. That's not very funny! :) I like the idea of a guest blogger, if you think that would help. Waiting for someone else to put it together and coming up with a "just in case they fail" post might be MORE stressful, though! If you threw up a re-do like during your book tour, would that help? Anything that keeps you both here and posting (and also sane) would be quite welcome. Thank you.

Merry HooHoo to all, and to all a Goo-REAT GOOGLEY MOOGLEY!
What is that frosted-bloody-bum-turd thing SUPPOSED to be!?!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

WTF (no, not my usual What The Frosting…this is the stronger What The Fondant). Well…I have met all my health insurance deductibles today – I think the cost of re-starting my heart after reading that this was almost the last day of Cake Wrecks will cover that…. I read your companion blog about ending CW and I can certainly understand. I, who have a keen grasp of the obvious, failed to see it coming, which is surprising since I have said to myself many, many times: How do they do it – be so incredibly funny day after day after day. Even after meeting you in Chicagoish on your tour, and hearing about your crazy hours, it failed to sink in, primarily because, I think, you guys are so young and full of energy.
As I have said privately, Cake Wrecks has played a major role in my own life. Your first book came out during a dark time for me -- a few months after I had lost my wife to cancer. I saw it at a bookstore (attracted by the orange color – my favorite) and picked it up. I laughed so hard I thought they were going to escort me out of the store. Bought it and left before that could happen, and that night I read and laughed until I couldn’t stop – I think I got to page 10 or so…. Every night thereafter I read a few more pages, ending up laughing uncontrollably until I could read no more. I had not laughed like that in years. Humor has always been an important part of my life, but had been in remission…. You brought it back, and for that I am forever indebted to you. I then found the website, and followed that for a while, starting each day with laughter. Eventually, I started commenting, joining in on the fun.
I am soooooooo glad you are feeling better and am soooooooooooooooo glad you will continue Cake Wrecks! And I hope that eventually you’ll consider another book. I don’t know if this would be possible, or even if it would help, but could you guys do the blog fewer times a week and fill in with “classics”?
Thank you for all you have done, thank you for all you do to bring us a daily dose of laugh-out-loud-coffee came through my nose-now I’ve got to clean the keyboard-humor. And thank you for letting us play in your playground.
(And yes, I still read from your books every night…and still laugh and laugh and laugh…..)
Thank you, thank you, thank you!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

So glad you found your happy place again! Please take breaks whenever needed, too. Just know we'll be here...waiting....hoping.....that we never have to see that last picture again. Oh, my.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

i ♥ Cake Wrecks!

Please don't take our Cake Wrecks away!!

Maybe take an extra day or two off a week from posting? i like you six days a week, but even if we only get you four days a week it is better than nothing if it saves your sanity and keeps Cake Wrecks forever running!

Thank you for the lol Wrecks and the beautiful Sunday Sweets!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercarol t

Please don't stop blogging! I have just recently found this site and I love, love, love it! Y'all are too funny and I look forward to reading many more of your hilarious observations. Even the ones about nothing...lol. :) Thank you for brightening my day!
BTW, I live within about an hour's drive of the Gaffney, SC peach thing...let's just say it's something you have to see for yourself.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterColey

I will be chuckling about "Holy Unfortunate stem placement, Batman!" for, oh so many reasons for many, many months to come.

And thank you for not going away. Life without you guys would be just like Mick Stevens' "Life Without Mozart" cartoon (http://www.mickstevens.com/life-with-and-without-mozart/). Only the tire would be on fire and wolves would be howling in the background.

Love to you both!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterflying gargoyle

Thanks for hanging in there. I know that feeling of needing to come up for air but my whole family is grateful for the laughs you provide. I make a point of checking CW at work, because I find the effort of trying to stifle my laughs (so my colleagues don't think I'm losing it) makes it all funnier.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSteve B

I think those last cakes are the dessert for the Annual Coprophilia Convention.....(now wipe that s**t-eating grin off your face....)

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSir Laffsalot

Count me among those who would miss this blog. But also, those who understand that kind of stress and the toll it takes on a person. I'm so glad you were able to take some time and feel better. Here's hoping you can keep your blogs and your sanity both, because that would make quite a lot of people happy!

Glad your low-key holidays were good and wishing you the best for 2012! :)

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCat

I'm really glad you didn't end the blog, because posts like today's keep me laughing. Especially the inappropriate stem (or log) placement. I literally laughed out loud.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

I use Chrome, which, on the New Tab page (also my homepage) has the top 8 most visited sites that I use.

Of course, all the typicals are there, my email, Netflix, Facebook, Google+, and, Cake Wrecks has sat there, dutifully! at number 7 since I started using Chrome. I, like many others, read this daily. And, on days I for some reason don't, I feel as if there's something missing in my day, as if I forgot to turn on the dishwasher or feed the dogs.

Enough waxing poetic. GET BACK TO WORK! :)

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnnemarie

Thank God you're still here! I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my daily Cake Wrecks.

And dear God, what is that thing? to that last picture.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterA.J.

Whew, I'm so relieved. I would so miss you and my imaginary friends: Zoomom, Mel, SuBee, Haiku Joy and all the rest.
You know we'd all really understand if you wanted to move on. We love you that much!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterA..

Oy!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

Thank you for this blog and thank you for not ending it.
This blog is great, and I would miss you very much if you stopped posting all these wrecks and your brilliant comments.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMafdet

So shiney to hear you are not leaving us and I don't have to contemplate the possibility of a morning without Merry HooHoo and Carrot Jockeys and Sweet Sundays. Thanks for everything, every photo, every twisted joke. The World of Blog would be sadder for loss of you, not to mention Geekdom in general.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEvalyn

Suffer from cr-acne?
And unexpected movements?
There's a cake for that.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Thank you for not ending the blog. Some days, it's the only laughs I get! And I'd still keep coming even if you never commented and simply posted the photographs. My husband and I both love the site. So thank you for keeping it up, despite getting burned out.

And, wow, those cakes are just... so... wrong.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

#3 Wouldn't it be a hoot if the wreckerator was named James? It could even be a surname and still work.

As to the other...

There are few feelings worse than realizing that something you do for the love of it has become a 'gotta' for other reasons and an industry. Or why I have resisted becoming a professional musician. (That and the whole 'money' thing. But I digress.)

I suppose it is sort of like 'Wayne's World' the movie where the show was picked up by a network and became an exercise in corporate retentiveness instead of just being two guys having fun.

I really hope you guys can find the balance. If that requires dropping a blog or two, well, not my preference, but that's how the cake crumbles sometimes. I'd rather see Cake Wrecks become a weekly or even monthly deal (or shut down altogether, if need be) than become the Internet equivalent of the Velveteen Rabbit (the band Chicago being the musical equivalent).

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Jen and John

Thank you so much for your wonderful work on CW and Epbot! We would all miss you terribly if you were gone, but as others have pointed out, we would survive (although our worlds would all be less funny and hysterical).

I'm so glad that you decided to keep CW going. But you need to take care of yourself, too! As a mommy to a 6-year-old and soon-to-be mommy to a little girl too (due end of March), I know how important it is to take some time for yourself every day! Even just 15 minutes of doing something you love to do can make you rethink your outlook on life.

If you needed to go to 2 or 3 posts a week instead of 6, We the Adoring Fans of Cakewreckiness would completely understand! If you need guest bloggers, I am sure that all you would have to do would be to ask. :)

Take care of yourself, keep doing what you love, and live long and prosper! :D

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth A.

Jen and John (thoJ), since I've already posted my feelings on both of your Facebook pages, I won't get all melodramatic AGAIN. Suffice it to say, I'm glad you're sticking around, even if you scale back on the volume of posts. Better to have a little less Cake Wrecks than no Cake Wrecks at all. We love you, and I for one, continue to be amazed and impressed by your clever, witty writing. Rock On! Er, Wreck On!

@Flartus - the new CCC (CakeWrecks CoDependency Co-op) is brilliant, and so true! We're hopeless, aren't we?

@juliebt - I love your idea about posting wrecked cakes and letting the readers provide the commentary! It probably wouldn't work more than once or twice per month, but it would take some of the load off Jen and John, provide THEM with some comedy relief after providing all of us with so much, and showcase our collective creativity. I like it! Jen and John, your thoughts?

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-Marie

cake-mageddon - bwahahahaha! That was perfect Amy!

I am, as usual, late to the party. But I have to chime in and express my gratitude for CakeWrecks Jen and John. Without you I wouldn't have had to replace my keyboard and I've grown accustomed to cleaning my monitor every morning. It just wouldn't be the same without you! So glad you're sticking around :)

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBubbe

So glad you're staying a bit longer!

and that last picture REALLY chaps my a... cake.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

Please never stop!!!! That aside, eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah R.

Uuuuugh... complete with mint green TP! Thanks for not ending this blog! I only found cake wrecks this yr and you have changed my life... I now visit the bakerys of every grocery store looking for a cake wreck... I read the blog everyday... even when I am totally grossed out..like today... and its Happy Hoo Haa.... LOL

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLori

Wonderful as always.

And on a more meaningful note. First time I found out about Cake Wrecks was about two or three years ago when I was living in Santa Barbara, a friend and I were in Borders and he picked up your book and we about peed our pants laughing at all of the pictures. At the time, I did not have a computer (I know, that's crazy), and it wasn't until a few months ago that I saw a friend post about it on Facebook, so I came over, and I must say any day I'm feeling down, or work has me in a bad mood, your blog has made it all better. I have peed my pants, cried and just generally laughed out loud at your posts. I completely understand if maintaing two blogs and crafting takes too much out of you, and if you aren't enjoying it anymore, then yes you should leave while the posts are still on fire. I just want to wish you and John the best no matter what you do. <3

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie R

I'm so glad you're not leaving us! I can only imagine the stress of creating a daily blog post, so if needed, take a break, but please don't leave us forever! I can always rely on CW (and the comments) for a good laugh.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterblt2006

Oh God! I have tears streaming down my face. That last one did it for sure. I agree with Cindy - the red spots do not help *rolling on floor LMAO* Please - do not end your blog. You bring so much laughter and smiles to us.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCyndigreat

I would call for an international moment of silence and day of mourning if you cancelled this blog. Pleeeeeeeease don't leave us! I would pay a membership fee for the opportunity to spew coffee on my keyboard every morning. You guys ROCK... and so does this post.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Love love LOVE coming to cake wrecks, and like so many, I'm really glad you're still here! Even though I love coming by every day, I totally hear you on the pressure... perhaps you could cut down to just once every few days when you start to get overwhelmed? It would still be a great feeling awaiting a new post! I know I don't comment but that's because nothing I say could possibly be as much fun to read! ;-) Although actually I do enjoy reading the comments too, you've attracted quite a community of funny people! :-)

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkelly

Thank you for not ending this wonderfully...er..."real" blog. It's like "the People of Walmart" of the cake world...brightens my day in a warped & twisted kind of way!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTraci Glasscock

I had missed your other blog post about ending CW, and I was SHOCKED to read that you had even considered it! I'm so glad you realized that you just had added too many "to do's" to your life (isn't that what we tend to do?) and that you'll be sticking around. You are one of the first things I check when I get online each morning. You provide such a smile (often more than one) to so many of us. Don't
EVER leave. Ever. We love you.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren in FL

I never post in comments but I read CW pretty religiously, so I'm really glad you decided not to give up this wonderful blog. But yes, get some rest and enjoy your creative pursuits. Even if all you do is post a funny/ugly cake every couple days, I'll be happy with that. Big hugs!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTayja

Take a nice long sanity break and get all recharged and ready to go but please don't stop the blog. I know I'm not the only one that would really miss it if it went away permanently. And that last cake? Ewwww.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Those last ones look like my kids' diaper rash... and the reason for it!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBobbie

I have it on good authority that it's a hoo-hah, not a hoo-hoo. Just sayin'.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEsty

Just so you know, I also suffer from anxiety, and both of your blogs have helped me to de-stress on particularly bad days more time than I can count. <3

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSandy C

Please please please keep the site going. If not every day, then once a week, maybe. I have only recently discovered cake wrecks and it is great. Between the actual wrecks and the truly beautiful cakes, this site makes my day.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMike in Wheaton, IL

Love this blog, sooo nice to find something on the internet that cheers me up instead of bringing me down, yada yada yada.

One suggestion to relieve the stress of blogging is maybe just post one picture per day? (Except Sunday Sweets!!!) Or maybe post every other day? Pretty sure we would all still love you.

<3 <3 <3

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Jen and John, it warms the cockles of my, errrr, heart to see all the loving comments sent your way. The community you have formed with your wackiness is so valuable. Thanks for your contributions to my life - for as long as you can handle it :-).

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNorine

Thank you for these posts! They make my day, and quite a few of the Sunday Sweets have inspired my own cakes! Do what is best for you both, we would survive without our daily dose of CW, although I am sure we would ultimately curl up into the fetal position, rocking back and forth in front of our computers going through wreak withdrawals, but we'd soldier on!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClair

I'm a lurker, not a poster. Hiding in the background, snorting with laughter until various family members wander into my lair to ask what the heck is so funny... But I wanted to post today, not because it is my birthday (yes, it is, and I have cake) but because you decided not to shut down this blog on this very special day. I'm going to tell everyone that you did it because it's your birthday gift to me! And now, back to lurking I go.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

MY EYES!!!!!!!! And I'm so glad you aren't going away, Jen and John.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLetitia

I don't know...$7.27 to have the "Hoo Hoo" be "Merry" is kind of a deal. I just hope there's a complimentary antibiotic chaser.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJana

Wow, wow, wow to that last picture. Wrong in so many ways.

Thank you for not stopping! I would miss my daily cake wreck! If it ever gets to be too much, consider weekly, but don't stop! That would be a wreck of another kind.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusanB

Selfishly glad you didn't shut'er down - love you and John. Flip side - you come first. Cheers! Colleen from Ottawa (glad you like our fair city).

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterColleen

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