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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jan192012

I Got Your Back, PA

An Open Letter to the Internet from the Residents of Southern Pennsylvania

 

Dear Internet,

What did we ever do to you?

We are a region of good, decent, hard-working Americans and prized rutabaga growers* who always try to do right by our fellow man.

And how do you repay us? By staging protests! By telling the government to shelve us! By blocking our favorite cute cat picture websites with big "STOP SOPA" signs!

It's enough to make us think you don't like the area with the world's most colorful collection of soap shavings.*

Motto*: "It's good clean fun!"

 

Did you know your underwear was probably made with cotton from OUR* cotton fields?

 

 

And did you know that our official* tri-county* flower*, the Dryerious Lintitude*, has been hailed* by the scientific community* as a "marvel of nature?"*

That's right: a MARVEL OF NATURE*. Just try and stop THAT, internet.

 

Look, we SOPA residents are reasonable people. We don't want to hold a grudge over some obvious misunderstanding - and already you've given us a hip new acronym for next year's tourism brochures!

So what do you say we start fresh? We'll forget this whole "down with SOPA" business, and YOU can come visit the birthplace of Hannah Montana*!

It's a win-win!

 

*Sorry, Wikipedia was down yesterday.

Thanks to Michael S., Justin D., Anna D., & Karyn D. for helping me drag out a joke for five whole wrecks. Next I'll be writing** a letter on behalf of People In Pennsylvania - stay tuned!

**Just kidding. I'll make John do it.

« Kids These Days | Main | Terribly Inappropriate »

Reader Comments (83)

Asterisk *

* also known as an octothorpe

betcha didn't know that

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternepetacataria

NoNoNoNoNo... that HM stands for Hannibal Montana. Those teeth could rip the head off of... well... anything!

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlaxmom

all i could do was point at #2 and #3 and say NO.
NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.

and my faith in humanity becomes that much thinner.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCakeninja

#2 sorta reminds me of all the tortured souls writhing in Freddy Krueger's torso.

#3 Okay, so I'll let the chocolate covered bacon poo blobs slide (heh) for now, but riddle me this: what are those dried-blood-looking drops all along the top of the photo? And what exactly are we celebrating there? Is it a birthday? Did Noel & Janee get engaged....or open a butcher shop? Are Noel and Janee the names of the pigs from which the bacon was procured? I'm so confused.

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

@ Sharyn: thanks for the compliment. Bubbling wit is rumored to have come from my great-grandmother, who was a strong believer in the power of soap and lived to drive out dirt. She was part of the early Surfactant Movement. Unfortunately, the group got highly agitated, spun out of control and were all washed up. She then got a part-time job monitoring students taking tests, and took the money she earned from that and went to the races. Yes, she proctored and gambled…..

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

@msyendor
Myaah and thank you!

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterA..

And, making a clean sweep of all interwebs awards for today: mel!! (Kermit flail)

@zoomom & anyone- see what you can do with this as I’m tapped out:
(with due respect to Rick James)

She’s a very snarky girl
The one that John took home to mother
But she’ll never let your spirits down
Once you log onto her blog.
She likes mistakes, goofs and errors-
Poo piles glisten oh so pretty-
But you’d better give her sprinkles
And no damn CCCs!

It’s SuperJen with super wrecks- they’re super awful YOW
(oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh NO)
SuperJen brings super smiles with super snarkiness
(oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh WHOA)

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

I didn't even notice the wrecks because I was so excited my home region was "featured"! I think that made my day :)

*Southern Pennsylvanian*

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

@ mel, you're awesome. Just awesome. (I tried to come up with a soap-related pun, but I think you used them all!)

@ Haiku Joy -that one was my favourite yet; fantastic!

@ Barbara Anne -love it! (And welcome to my little world of insanity :) )

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

@mel: You're never a BORax and that's no lye...

January 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Zoomom, I bow to thee. I am going to have this stuck in my brain for days... *La la la and quotes from Princess Bride*

I felt a bit ill when I read that you thought of ending this delightful blog. It makes my heart hurt to consider!!!

SO GLAD YOU ARE HANGING AROUND, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCrazy2boot

Ewwwwwwwwwww and I love bacon lol. Sheesh. Wow.. all I can say is wow to that first cake. It has so many rainbow colors on it lol. Guess the wreckerator was doing an art project cake.

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

OMG ... Hannah has a tuma on her face!!

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

that hm cake is scary! i'll have nightnares for a year!
this is probly how the kid reacted:
'mummy im scard of that cake! i dont wanna eat it!!!!'

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRandom Person

Being from PA, I can tell you that we actually break down the state into six geographical sections. There really is no "Southern" PA per se; we always add East/West/Central to that.

Fun fact: the keyboard player for Miley Cyrus (Hannah Montana) while she was on tour is actually from southcentral PA. ;)

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternancy

More like Hannah MANtana amirite?!

*insert photo of an eel that looks like it just told a joke and is waiting for a reaction here*

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKäri

The octothorpe is one of my favorite names for a non-letter character, and the fact that the origin of the word is so colorfully in dispute (some claim it can be traced to a particular individual - Don Macpherson of AT&T who invented it on the spot during a lecture, but others claim the name comes from the same symbol in mapmaking) makes me all the happier. However, the octothorpe is the # sign, not the * sign. It's easy to keep them straight if you see that the # has eight open sides - three on the top row, two in the middle row, and three on the bottom.

I hope I don't come off as a mean-spirited or petty person out to correct "someone wrong on the internet." Instead, I hope I come off as a friendly procrastinator who most emphatically would rather talk about typography than grade the erupting volcano of grammar diagnostic exams at her elbow.


Donning the hazmat suit - diving into the lava!

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

As a "people in PA" I will happily let you represent me. =0)

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermorgannagaia

Haiku Joy, I love you.

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnony Mous

We love love LOVE this site and are completely addicted! Please keep up the (good) bad work.. At least I know that the next time something goes horribly wrong in the oven, it may find an appreciative audience here...

January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJ&M

York Represent! I'm not sure where the cotton is grown....but the rest of the 'facts' were hilarious!
As always...love love love me some Cake Wrecks.

January 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGween

As a resident of Southern PA, I would also sometimes like for it to stop.

January 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

LOL.. it's not hanna montana - the 'HM' is for Howie Mandel... with a long blonde wig.

January 26, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdapetty

Is it bad that it took til the "bacon*" cake to get the fact that you were not talking about "Stop Online Piracy Act" .... .... I was wondering why you were talking about southern Pennsylvania

January 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSam

Cake #3 rocks! I'd eat my shoe if it was wrapped in bacon!

January 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMike

anybody else disturbed by "hannahs" cheek????

January 31, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergreenpezz47

Yall made me laugh so hard I snotted a little and it got on the inside of my glasses and i was laughing so hard I couldnt quit and I didnt think I was going to be able to read the rest of the post cause there was wet stuff flinging everywhere and I couldnt breath. Funny stuff. <now has a permanent mental image of Hannah Montana as an egyptian man in drag> sad but true..

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterflowerchild3539

You know what I find most sad about the last cake... they obviously spent time/money on the cake, but gave her a hand-me-down candle!! It's already been used, but no wax dripped on the cake....

February 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

Why does that Hannah Montana look like she's been in a prize fight

March 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterd sims

Sacre bleu! Zeez Pennsylvanias 'ave stolen our cheeze curds and claimed that they are cotton! Yous mus' return them to our poutine maintenant!

Les Quebecois.

April 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternazani14

I am from southern PA, and I'm actually offended by this post. I'm offended by SOPA more, but this offends me!

the bacon cake was a joke cake at our wedding. there's a (very) long-running joke about bacon in our sportbike group. the cake was hilarious. everyone ate the chocolate covered bacon, but we didn't cut into that cake. and yes - we had a gorgeous 'official' wedding cake as well. funny that our bacon cake made it to this site because it was never intended to be a real cake. the 'blobs' you mention are actually rose petals. the picture on this website is a very poor quality image.

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJanee

i think it's funny that our bacon cake ended up on this site as if it were an actual cake that was a wreck, haha! it was never intended to be a real cake. it's part of a long-running joke among our sportbike group and was created as part of the hilarity of another way to eat bacon. everyone actually like the chocolate covered bacon, but we didn't cut into the cake. the picture here is very a very poor quality image. this cake was off to the side and not part of the 'official' wedding cakes.

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJanee

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