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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Oct192012

Err Supply

I know just how to ice it


And I know just how to sell


I know just how to read instructions


And I know just how too spell!


I know how to make a moose head

 

And I know how to make a bear


 I know just how to write "Amurersary"


And I know what to do with hair!


And I know just how to stack cake...


And I know when I've gone too far!

AND I'M PROBABLY GONNA CHARGE YOU EVEN THOUGH IT TOPPLED OVER 'CAUSE I REALLY HAVE TO PAY FOR MY CAR!

 

 But I don't think you should judge me

 
Just because it's hard to read my scra-ah-awl...

 

'Cuz you know I'll always be here

Making caa-aake

Look like nothing at all

{Making cake!}

 

Look like nothing at all

{Making ca-ay-ake!}

 

Look like nothing at all

Ahhh-awwww-AH!

 Ahhhh-awwww-AH!

 AHHHHHH!!

 AHHHHHH!!!

 
THIS LOOKS LIKE NOTHING AT ALL!

 

Thanks to Kimberly M., Justine T., Kate L., Lauren B., Krista K., Beth W., Meghan M., Margaret, Amy C., Anony M., Fred M., Kris D., Beth, Kate H., & Chelsea V. for helping us write the longest CW post in CW history.

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Reader Comments (90)

My 4 yo daughter says that bear looks like TOTORO from "My Neighbor Totoro". My 6 yo son says that those candy corn look like sauropod teeth from a dinosaur.

October 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShelley

There ARE a lot of browncoats reading Cakewrecks. Even before I saw the posts indicating that yes, that is Jayne's cunning hat (and props to the baker if it is and not a rocket ship), I thought of Kaylee's line "Kaylee: [stroking swan] Looks like it was made with, you know, longing. Made by a person really longed to see a swan." Or a bear, or a moose, or whatever those other abstractions are supposed to be

October 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJanelle

Not feeling well here today. The thought of "Welsh Lady Ass Fudge" makes me want to <covering mouth and running to the bathroom>... Whew... The song is top notch! I had to go back and read through a second time to get the right rhythm but you did a great job John!

Gonna go lay down now and try not to think of Welsh Ladies or their cakes! <covering mouth again>

October 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

I managed to miss this song the first time around. So I googled it. Thanks a bunch.

October 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPersephone

As a cake decorator who has made topsy turvy cakes I can tell you the the "Happy Birthday Bash" cake is intentionally stacked like that. Granted, they might have wanted to angle them differently to be more attractive, but no cake stacked at angles like that accidentally would stay up. :-)

October 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Ok, so am I the only one who finds it ironic that "appreciation" is the word spelled right?

October 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPreacher Spice

I am completely shocked that the decorator of #4 spelled "appreciation" correctly. What happened?!?!!
8-O

October 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJules

I'm not sure if I should be embarrassed or proud that I read the first two lines, started singing the correct song in my head, then glanced at the title and realized that was the song that should be in my head ... and was able to remember every note, although I had to pause and snort when I got to the part about PAY FOR MY CAR. Very well done!

October 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterjklGoDuke

This is the third time our wedding cake (the one with the back oozing out all over the table) has made Cake Wrecks!! SWEET!!!

October 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJessy

I've seen some people talking about how the Sweet Birthday Bash cake was probably supposed to look like that. I agree that it looks like it was intended as a topsy-turvy cake. However, it is not well made at all. Looking at the physics of it, those layers don't seem like they will stay upright very long. (By the way, does anyone else think the white blobs on the cookie cake look a little like Pac-Man ghosts?)

October 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJB

what is the song that its supposed to go with??????

October 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMary

And making quite a mess Lady Kal. hahaha ...I fourth the sniffle

October 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLindarella

When I finally recognized what song was being parodied (and was able to see again after my eyes teared up from laughing), I called up the original video on YouTube and listened to that song while mouthing the lyrics posted here. I was reminded that: (1) there were a lot of godawful songs in the '80s, (2) there were a lot of equally godawful music videos in the '80s, and (3) there are a lot of awfully talented people here at Cake Wrecks.

Thanks again for making my memories of the Decade of Excess that much less painful.

October 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichael O.

Cakewrecks has ruined many a keyboard for me. But then again, I should have learned my lesson the last 58 times and made sure I was not drinking when browsing this site. This is another hilarious post!

October 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpuppylover

I feel so bad for both the bride and the cake maker of the smashed one. It looks like it was a nicely done cake destroyed in transit. So heartbreaking!

October 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatie #38

Was just starting on my second cup of hot chocolate and cake vodka while recovering from my son's last football game of the season, which was very cold and windy. After seeing this, I might need a third to recover from these wrecks!

There are many things I don't understand here. But the "pay for my car" cake, well, takes the cake! Why oh why would someone create a cake that looks like they vomited it back up to reassemble it? And if I look at that candy corn thing any longer, small vessels are going to start bursting in my brain.

But John: great parody! And memories of the Air Supply album playing in my sorority house, with the speakers in the window and the girls laying out in summer and the 70-year-old next-door neighbor mowing his lawn. Every day. Thanks!

October 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Oh man..where do the wreckerators get these ideas? Some nightmare they care to share with all of the customers more than likely lol. I thought that moose looked like a giant bat that wants to eat the person attempting to eat the cake. Hmm.

October 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

The scrawl cake looks like it might say my name! :D

October 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAudrey

Ass fudge?!? I will never change another dirty diaper without thinking about ass fudge.

October 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDaya

I admit, I love this song. (And Air Supply!) I hadn't read the post title but picked the tune up in my head on the first line (yep, I did), thought "wait a second" and then checked the title for confirmation.

That said, I adore this post. It's hysterical! And your typing style to fit the song style is perfect. I don't think you missed a single musical swell!

October 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

I'm a big Air Supply fan, and Tamara (the one that follows this blog, I usually just look over her shoulder) and I started to sing along to the song.

By the end we were belting it out and laughing out butts off! Nice post, Jon, the Hubby of Jen!

October 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJon (the hubby of Tamara)

I don't think that bear is a bear. I think it's a brown Totoro.

October 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor

As soon as I saw the the 4.79 reduced cake I thought Jayne's hat! Very happy to see I'm not the only one. You can't stop the signal.

October 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarissa

Is it wrong that as I was reading this post, I got out a lighter and swayed along as I read?

October 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

That "bear" looks more to me like a fat hamster that's very surprised to find itself being held up at gunpoint.
(the smile is inexplicable; held up at carrot point?)

October 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

I thought the moose head looked like a deformed white man-parts with black angel wings... A racially sensitive vasectomy cake perhaps?

October 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMeredith

Appreciation!
I kin half day shiff if I
falls Haiku Joy's class!

~~~
So guys, it appears that EACH FALL it takes me longer and longer to get into the swing of coming back to Cake Wrecks. I meant to be posting regularly again no later than mid August. Here it is, late October.I can't access Cake Wrecks through my office anymore, and I have 30 (thirty!) more students this semester than ever before.

Recent Word of the Day: lumbago. I can say it all day. Lumbago. Lum-BEY-goh. I say it with an eyebrow lift and a Latin accent: lum-BEEEEEY-goh.

October 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

What the.....???

October 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkaisee

Total Genius! Love the way you wrote this post. I have a feeling I'm gonna have this Air Supply song stuck in my head all night!

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelissaJ

'Welsh Lady Ass Fudge' is all over the internet now. There's a company that makes fudge for Welsh souvenir shops, and it comes in 3 designs: Welsh Lady, Welsh Harp, Welsh Choir. The first 2 come in a choice of 'assorted' or 'clotted cream', so the label should have said 'Welsh Lady Assorted Fudge' but that was too long... That's a Tesco label. Tesco is a British firm, and 'ass' isn't a rude word here - but we all know that it is in the US, and I bet Tesco have changed that label by now.

No one's made a guess at that last cake - or was it too obvious? CCC in red, white and blue + 'sparkler' decoration = 4th of July cake! We all know the shape doesn't matter. I mean, fireworks don't have a shape, do they?

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

Poo Bear?

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDillTheCat

Cake #4 - And yet they spelled appreciation (or should I say "appreciation") correctly. *sigh*

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterearthmomma29

I was almost to the very end when I realized this was done to a song. So, I had to go back to the very beginning and sing it. Now I feel old, but at least I am laughing too.

October 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTammy

I'm pretty sure the bear cake is supposed to be a Pokemon... Snorlax to be more exact. Which doesn't make it any better than if it was supposed to be a bear.

October 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMitch

Holy cow- the third one from the bottom looks like it has nursing pads plopped on it! Ugh.

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim Q

ERRRRR Supply? ERMERGERD!!!!!

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrudy

I also think the bear cake looks like Totoro. Or a tanuki, with the green line being the string from his hat. But, I could be trying too hard out of a need for something here to make sense.

October 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterToby

Oh, puleez tell me that "district" cannot be THAT ruined! Why waste our tax dollars on any public schooling at all?

And I am wondering if that bear was an owl in a previous life?

And what bakery supervisor had the incredible nerve to slap a price sticker on ANY of these???

They walk amongst us, etc etc etc

October 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

I just sung this whole post to my daughter. Ever since she heard the "what's this" song, she wants all the posts to be musical.

October 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterElemdee

My husband asked if #14 was Darth Vader humping a traffic cone! I still think it is a Jayne Hat

October 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

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