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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Oct022012

Well, MY Childhood Is Ruined

 [singing] "M-I-C..."

I see BOOBIES!

"K-E-Y...."

[sobbing] WHY? WHY? WHY??

"Mic-key, O-M-GEEEE!"

 

[crickets chirping]

 

So...

While we all struggle to cope with this assault on our inner child, I have a few questions:

1. Is Mickey protecting the boobies? 'Cuz he looks like he's going, "Whoah, whoah, whoah, there, kids! Nuthin' to see here! Move along! Ha-hyuck!" (Wait, that's Goofy's laugh, isn't it? Sorry. I guess Mickey's is more of a "Hoo-HOO!" WHICH IS TOTALLY APPROPRIATE, DON'T YOU AGREE?

2. Why is Mickey sitting on a big red dot? Is that the panic button? Because, I mean, if *I* had a panic button, I would totally be clicking it right now.

3. Boob cakes are usually made for bachelor parties. That's not a question; I just want you to think about that for a minute.

(Look, at some point this gets so disturbing that it rounds the bend back to "funny" again. I'm just doing my part to get us all to that point.)

And finally, and most importantly:

4. Does Minnie know about this?

 

Thanks - I think - to L.P., whose only explanation was, "It's hard to explain." Do tell, L.P.  DO TELL.

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Reader Comments (101)

Melonie-you have the ONLY reasonable answer. Thank you.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSBell

My kids just got teeny parts in the middle school production of "Beauty and the Beast." I've volunteered to help chaperone rehearsals. So Sharyn, when the other parent chaperones give me funny looks because I'm singing your lyrics, I'm sending them to you. So they can die laughing, too. LP, please tell us the long explanation!

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDeirdre

I was kind of going with the Mickey as protector of the ta-tas as well, but more in the style of Gandalf. As in "You shall not PASS!" And if you say it in the Mickey tone, it's almost funny enough to take some of the "oh my goodness, what has happened" ickiness away. Almost.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMom A

You may not want to post this image, but it's the first thing that came to mind. NSFW, probably.
http://img377.imageshack.us/img377/8576/0304030752om.jpg

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTootsie Plunkette

Oil additives like STP have long been known as 'mouse milk' for their complete uselessness. Is this a gag cake for someone who sells 'mouse milk'?

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarkinSF

@pikkewyntjie~ Apple juice really hurts coming out of your nose. I'm telling my 12 yr old daughter your theory!

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

Soooo, I guess there is no way we can get a link to an uncensored version huh?

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterElisha

W- owwwwwwwwwww. I'm going with SuBee's explanation. NOTHing else makes any sense.

ROFLPMP -- songs will never be the same.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDi

I think the Mickey might be a figurine and the red dot the base of the figurine. That could explain the dot. I can't imagine being able to really explain this cake though? Maybe an ex-employee of Disney wanted to send something to his boss to anger him? I'm confused.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

I am bewildered by what this cake means. The only thing I could think of that they are trying to slip the baby a "mickey"???? What?? I have been looking at Cake Wrecks for years now and I am stumped.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAudreyB

As a baker who has a deathly fear of being sued by Disney Inc., I hope the baker of this cake has left the country now that their Mickey (sitting in a pool of blood or whatever that red dot may be...) has Gone Public!

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDebby

Maybe there was supposed to be a HICKEY on the chest...

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBridgette

I couldn't figure it out, so naturally asked my 17 year old son to come take a look. (That isn't as odd as it sounds, he has researched and written about hidden messages, and inappropriate cartoons, including some in Disney's stuff.) He figured it was for a breastfeeding mother, a new mother. So, I guess along with baby showers we now have breastfeeding parties?

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Sharyn, it works out great this way! Your version of "Be Our Guest" was hilarious, and we got a double-dose of your genius today. Win-win, I'd say!

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Well, this week it's World Breastfeeding Week, so...
okay.. I have to admit... that totally doesn't explain what Mickey is doing up there!!
Maybe they put him there to mask the areola that slipped off the breast?
"Oh no! The areola ended up on the stomach!" "No worries.. Lets put Mickey on it. See!? You can hardly see it anymore! I bet noone will notice..."

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEni

Mickey was the name of the guy getting married, and this is his bachelor party cake saying "Back off! This is MINE!!" ???????

Sharyn, you're a genius as usual!

Don't know, folks, but PLEASE Jen, get us an answer as to WHY!!!!!

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCtheWiccanthiswaycome

Taking the lead from Rachel, I agree it's some kind of award with a hidden meaning...like "Mickey leftit all at the party" or "Mickey leftit all on the table"

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMB

Lol @ zoomom and sharyn. You guys are hilarious. xD And that cake...it just....huh?

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

Sharyn, why isn't Disney hiring you to write lyrics? That was hilarious!
I do hope LP provides an explanation for this bizarre scene. I am truly baffled.

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarnieB

(babbling) wow, that's actually a pretty lace border on that cake board. is that Wilton? I wish
I'd had those when I was decorating instead of the plain silver on white boards because I
never felt those were good enough. that's a pretty design that makes me think of hearts ...(glances at CW page) just take a deep breath and everything will be okay, I'm sure
that's not Annette and everyone knows Walt was protective of her even after she left the Club and she respected his wishes and never wore revealing or inappropriate clothing in her career but maybe Mickey didn't get the memo...OH, WAIT! I FIGURED IT OUT AND WE CAN ALL BREATHE AGAIN- IT'S AN EARLY PICTURE OF BRITNEY AND MICKEY WAS TRYING TO SAVE HER!!! *whew* I was struggling for awhile there.

move along, nothing to see

except Sharyn outdoing herself again! and then SuBee and definitely zoomom and then Sharyn and then mel (whose new nickname is "Two Nipples")
and Agent B wins the theory award

October 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Well I am totally at a loss for words on this one. Why does she have a huge red dot for a belly button? That will perplex me for hours lol. Along with poor Mickey Mouse. What a way to make my brain leave the building wreckerators.

October 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I think that Threadare has taken to ordering cakes in order to baffle us all.

Seriously, what is the story behind this? Sure it is hard to explain, but please try. We need to know.

October 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRikki

@Mel; I agree with your sentiment. Having to black-out a cake nipple. What next? - covering up piano legs in case they drive lustful thoughts?

I appreciate there's a lot of harmful smut on the internet, but who exactly needs to be protected from / could be offended by cake nipples?

October 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMike

It's breast cancer awareness month and Micky is just asking you to not let cancer steal second base!

October 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSister Wife Annie

wow ... one sick, twisted baker there

October 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCynthia

I, for one, appreciate the blacked-out nipple. It gives me the opportunity to imagine that the nipple may have been well made, if I cared to think about it. It also provides a safe place for my eyes to rest as I ponder the lack of a navel.

October 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Please, Please, Please, Jen! I love your site, but this is the first time that you've been out-right CRUEL!!! Please email the submitter and ask for the story! We are all dying here!!!!!!

*gasp* need...
*gasp* more...
*gasp* story!

October 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMommy23Melody

*Maybe* she had a breast recon after cancer....and *maybe* she had a baby...and they were celebrating???? {:-/ Just trying' here!!! Please let the explanation be *something* reasonable!??!

October 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErinChase

You know, after enduring a miscarriage on Monday and feeling really down, I desperately needed some laughs. And once again, CakeWrecks--and Sharyn!!--have come through and given me something to guffaw about. Thank you all, from the bottom of my broken heart.

October 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDenita TwoDragons

Wow! That is beyond comprehension. I agree with the other posters, we need the story behind this one!

October 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSH

My Husband informs me that this is *not* a batchelor party cake because, and I quote: "there is only one nipple showing -- two nipples would be sexy, one is for the business boobs were designed for -- feeding babies."

Now, aren't we all glad he's cleared *that* up for us?!

October 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCapt_Video

It looks like Mickey is sitting in a pool of his own blood!

October 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEllie

Warm thoughts and great big hugs headed your way @Denita TwoDragons!!!

October 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

@Barbara Anne - thanks for the nod! I think you are the first to comment on one of my comments, so you get a sticker!

@Denita TwoDragons - so sorry to hear about your loss. As one who also suffered a miscarriage, I know it can be a struggle. Hope you have some good friends & family to lean on as you grieve. Keep looking for those laughs in the midst of pain. Sending you a *hug* across the Cake Wrecks universe.

October 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAgent B

@Denita TwoDragons: Hugs.

October 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

@Denita TwoDragons take care of yourself, lady, and heal. ((hugs))

October 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

@Denita TwoDragons - laughter is truly the best medicine. Keep hanging out here - it's gotten me through many a bad day.
As I gaze at this... this... whatever the he** it is, two thoughts cross my mind: 1 - Disney is going to make this decorator's life hell (Mickey on a racy cake - OH NO!) and 2 - Walt must be rolling in his grave! LP - you've got to tell this story!

October 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbmbagain803

@Denita TwoDragons - So, so sorry for your loss. There just aren't words for this.

October 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Yes Jen, I think you need to find the story behind this one. In the meantime, I'm going to share this cake with all of the ladies in my wedding facebook group, because many are Disney lovers, and I'd like to see what they come up with.

October 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShannah

Oh, Mickey. You're so fine. You're so fine you blow my mind. Hey, Mickey!

October 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeather p

Oh wow how did I miss this post?! Sharyn, best song ever :)

October 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErin S.

Maybe.... this is supposed to be MILKY mouse..... celebrating someone's ability/decision to breastfeed.... only logical explanation i can come up with for this really weird cake! lol

November 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersr.louise

I had been thinking someone had perhaps gotten a "mickey mouse" boob job, the poster who pointed out the fake certificate looking part leads me further to this deduction. Suggesting perhaps the Surgeon was less than qualified?

November 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteronlyanegg

OMG, the comments are hysterical!!!! Even better than the cake!

December 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Mickey mouse Will never be the same. *wipes tears from eyes*

December 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermooseluver

Errr...Okaaayyy.... (backing away slowly).

April 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdolphin

My boyfriend clarified it for me last night! A bachelor party cake rendition of "The Happiest Place on Earth"!

April 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDLS

I find it a bit disturbing that cake nipple is thought to be such an obscene thing that it needs censoring.

January 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEcchimaru

Why? WWWWHHHHHYYYYYY????? Mickey, you have been corrupted!

March 5, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPhoenix

I have a theory... Maybe that is supposed to be a "Mic-Key Button," which is what somebody has when they have to be tube fed. Why the boob is also showing... I have no idea.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterzebra311

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